#kidthoughts

Quite frankly, I feel...Not heard. I’m 13 years old. Just turned 13 this month to be exact.And I feel...Not heard? Yeah and I know must grown ups will be like: ‘’You have no bills to pay be happy.’’ ‘’You don’t have the struggles that I did.’’

But over the years new problems develop because there’s over millions of people that can have different personalities that are not properly labeled. But I’m not really going to get into that.

As a parent you want your child to be the best of their abilities correct? So you want them to tell you everything that’s happening in their lives. I’m a ‘’secretive’’ kid, which in my book I do somethings that my parents wouldn’t approve of but don’t worry I’m not breaking any laws or rules.

Middle School this year for me? My grades dropped, with my dignity and self-confidence because I discovered not everyone likes a happy joy girl and I’m admitting yeah I let people changed me. This year in middle school my mom has been called more times than all my years in every grade combined, for I think some unnecessary stuff.

 The communication with my parents.....Has gotten off a lot.

‘’Why do you wear that? That’s too tight?’’ -Mom. I realized that I labeled my mother as the bad guy out of the parents and there shouldn’t be a bad guy between both parents. But that’s the fashion that’s in right now tight. And I feel like my creativity is getting cut off and I’m not allowed to express myself how I want to. I have to wear things that my mother is satisfied with. Both of us has different styles. That’s why I sneak clothes out of the house not for  boys for me. For me I feel comfortable and those kind of clothes.... I want her to realize that.

Depression? Very touchy subject with me... Because I think I went through it.... For about like 2 months? I wasn’t the fullest happiest person I am now. I felt like no one loved me and I was mistake to be in the world, which is proven wrong everyday because there is someone fighting for me out there on the battlefield everyday. I considered suicide but that’s only self-pity and that would affect my family which I didn’t want. I had a close friend that helped me see happiness and the person I should be, and my family really helped me out of depression not knowing I was ‘’Depressed’’. Isn’t love crazy?

My situation? I guess I’ve been cutting up this year which I admit I haven’t been acting the best I can this year. I had several punishments many that didn’t affect me and many that affected me... I had gotten my phone recently for my birthday and gotten it taken about last week because TWO teachers called because they’re ‘’buckling down.’’ or ‘’caring for me’’ but either way they talked about some things that happened either recently which I admit I was wrong to do or talked about things that happened in the past and.... Before anything (NOTICE: THE TEACHERS ARE CALLING SEVERAL PARENTS TO DISCUSS THEIR BEHAVIOR. P.S. I’M NOT SAYING WHAT I DID THAT WASN’T WRONG)

Moving forward, these teacher either mistaken some facts or overexerted their points but I’m not about to lie saying that I’m a angel in their classes. But my punishment for all of this? Going to a school that I do NOT want to go to.... Now.... I’m saying this in the nicest way possible.... Sending me to a school that I have no interest in, is supposed to make me get my stuff together? That doesn’t sound right. And if your going to ask me to substitute the punishment I don’t know anything. I hate having no phone, because that means no communication....

Who do I want to live with? I want to go to a school that am I happy at...And  I can learn stuff and have myself together. Which I believe my father can handle and I understand that my mother doesn’t want to give me up....I’m tearing up just writing this but I would visit every weekend.

If a person isn't afraid of being judged, will they still act as good?

Please respond.

Well, gotta watch Star Search now so bye.

Love,