#kevindaynet

“Losers aren’t people with weak statistics. Losers are people who won’t try, who look at insurmountable odds and give up prematurely. My foxes aren’t losers. We put it all out there day after day because we believe there’s got to be something better than this. It’s not about getting there quickly; it’s about sticking with this no matter how long the fight. We’re fighters.”

PSU Exy team upperclassmen (insp.)

warm up doodle of my perfect exy boy 

“Maybe,” Jeremy agreed, unconcerned. “Maybe not. Should be fun either way, right? I don’t remember the last time I was this psyched for a game. Look at this.” He held his hands out to them and laughed. “Bring it, Foxes, and we’ll bring it too.”

for their one year anniversary they fly to new york and see a broadway show together (jeremy probably charms his way to hamilton tickets).

i think it’s interesting how subconsciously intrigued by andrew neil was in the first two books though, i mean he wasn’t even interested in learning his teammates’ favourite colors and catalogued any information he learnt about them as redundant considering his predicament but whenever it came to andrew, boy was pretty much inclined to plan his biography. i think there was this strange gravitational pull he felt towards andrew, even before andrew’s famous “blow you” comment. throughout the books, he saw andrew as this complete separate entity, a pariah in the midst of sheep, almost. just like him. maybe he recognized that strangeness in him from day one. he found his curiosity blooming enough that he seemed unnecessarily interested in whether or not renee and andrew were actually a thing, he found his mind wandering after he found out about andrew’s sexuality, he was as honest as an ingrained liar like him could ever be to andrew. that’s why this line always gets to me: andrew nodded in the face of it and told him to stay, he stood his ground when neil asked him for murder and gave him a key to his house, but that didn’t count, because andrew was andrew and this was definitely the last turn he wanted his thoughts to take. i think neil was surprised by andrew, bc i’m pretty sure neil had given up ever expecting a normal person to even remotely comprehend his cosmic joke of a life. but then there’s andrew, who offers him his protection and his compliance, andrew who could watch him fall apart and sit there, still as a rock and yet, consoling in his silence and in his lack of concern. bc with everyone else it’s kind of like an overdose of concern, which anyone who’s ever experienced anything traumatic will tell you, doesn’t help. neil didn’t want anyone’s pity, he didn’t want baseless apologies. he just wanted to carry on with a life that was constantly being snatched from his grasp. it just fucks me up because?? this is probably the first meaningful connection with another human being neil’s ever had? asides from his mother, who’s questionable parenting probably doesn’t even count. because neil was never allowed to have friends or girlfriends like a normal teenage boy. because neil was always hopping from one alien rathole to the next. because neil had grown up detached from the world that surrounded him, and lonely, and maybe the fact that andrew, apathetic and equally disengaged from the world, was giving him his back and talking trust & promises, words that to someone like neil, who’d spent his whole life being deceitful and getting deceived, probably carried the weight of the fucking sun and, fuck. i could go on but i need to get some sleep. it’s so pure just. i’m not sure this had a point. the point is!! this ship slays my entire crumbling being!!!

‘I hit him  f i r s t.’                          ‘d i d  n o t.’