I hope wherever he is he forgives me. I don’t deserve it, really. But god do I want it. I hope he knows it wasn’t planned. Everything else was, but not him. It was a split second of panic followed by slipping into a completely dependent headspace I made specifically to disconnect from what I was doing. It doesn’t excuse anything. I know he would never forgive me. I just want him to know I’m sorry. I know I ruined his life, he told me so later on. He told me never to contact him back then. But god do I miss him. I just hope if he exists now he is alright. I’m sorry Akira. I loved you. I still love you. I’m so sorry. I don’t blame you for doing what you did, I would have done the same if not worse. You were insanely powerful and I am a fool for not seeing that. You are wonderful. You were never useless. You were never a coward. You are strong and smart and absolutely deadly. I love you. I did back then too, I think. I know you meant everything to me. I know I loved you, but I’m not sure how. I miss you. -Keicho 🏹⚠️