#kaiede

It would be fine.

--

Ah, hell, things might not be fine.

It had still been a beautiful night out. He hated the cage above, but at least they could still see the stars. Sparkling and full of shimmering possibility—despite everything, looking up at them never failed to cheer him up.

His first thought upon seeing Kaede wandering around had been that maybe she was the same. Maybe they shared that kinship, even with Kaede’s admitted ignorance when it came to space.

He hadn’t thought anything weird about it, except that Kaede jumped when he called out to her.

“Yo!”

Kaede even let out a very unmanly little yelp. And, uh, sure, she wasn’t a man but it was still...

That was beside the point! Kaede started acting a little weird. Her shoulders hunched over, her head ducked and her normally sharp gaze was askance. As if she was caught doing something shameful. That was just weird.

She shouldn’t feel bad about anything, he thought but when it came time to say just that, he held back. She’d argue with him, and he didn’t want that.

“Oh, Momota-kun.”

Even though she recognized him, she still didn’t calm down. If anything, she grew more anxious. It wasn’t right. The leader shouldn’t buckle like that—even to the Luminary of the Stars.

Damn you, Ouma, he cursed because it was always just easier to blame everything on that sniveling liar. Sure, it was a bit unfair but whatever. Jerk still should’ve been more considerate of Kaede.

“I-It’s a bit late,” Kaede began lamely in lieu of Kaito still pondering on what to say. “Um, are you—here to stargaze or...?”

“You don’t have to look so spooked,” he said. “No one’s gonna do anything, no matter what those asshole pandas think.”

“I wasn’t suggesting...!” Kaede shook her head frantically. “T-That, um...!”

Urgh. She wasn’t acting like herself at all. What was he supposed to do?

“S-Sorry,” she apologized meekly, which only made it worse. Was it because he was grimacing?

“No, it’s fine.” Best to just be polite. Best to be reassuring. Even crying kids could cheer up in the face of the Luminary of the Stars. “Is everything alright?”

“It’s...” Kaede hesitated. “Given the situation, I don’t see how anything could be alright.”

“Well, no, but we still got each other’s backs,” he said and flashed a grin. “We’re all friends, ain’t we? There’s six of them and like, sixteen of us. We’ve got numbers even if we don’t got the weapons.”

“Those weapons are the real sticking point,” Kaede sighed. “I just... I’m still worried.”

He can get that. Even he can’t help but worry. He had faith in his comrades, but—a gun was still a gun. He can’t help but worry and think—which of us might end up—?

Except! Such worries were still uncool and lame. If he let shit like that paralyze him with doubt, he might as well stay grounded forever.

“It’ll be fine! We believe in each other!”

Kaede perked up, and she did smile. That was a rousing success, right? Kaede smiling, Kaede hopeful...

“When you say that, I find myself wanting to agree, Momota-kun.”

He let out a huge belly laugh, even as Kaede shushed him for the hour. He rolled his eyes, but it was all good-natured. Kaede was still smiling, even if there was still tension in her shoulders.

“We’ll get through together,” she said and it was wonderful to hear. “I’m sure of it.”

Back to being bright and striking, and Kaito had known things would be fine. That everything would be fine.

That everything would be—

--

It wasn’t right.

It just wasn’t right.

No leader should be swinging like a pendulum like that. Kaede—shouldn’t have gotten crushed like that. And he had just barely gotten to know Amami, what the hell? Just how could this happen?

It wasn’t right.

--

Saihara pissed him off. There was no question about it. He was a spineless, blubbering mess of a man and there was just no relying on someone like that. It pissed him off that Kaede would entrust her wishes to a man who was just so goddamn weak.

...he knew he was being unfair. He still couldn’t even come to grips with Kaede dying. It didn’t feel real. He didn’t want to believe it. He wanted to wake the fuck up and see her smiling face in the morning with everyone else—

But she wasn’t anywhere in sight when he looked. Because the way that piano chomped down on her body...probably didn’t leave anything behind.

He felt so sick he couldn’t eat, and god fucking damn it all—he hated himself so much. When he thought about Saihara again, he just...

He guessed that he didn’t want Kaede’s wishes to go to waste.

But, he also knew that Saihara saved Kaede in a way.

He doesn’t want to think of her like this, but if there had ever been even a shadow of a moment where Kaede thought against telling them what she did—that would’ve been worse than death. Even if she survived, she would’ve destroyed herself. She was always too kind, too caring towards others—and god help him, he adored her for that alongside everything else that made her great.

Kaito made his choice then and there. He wasn’t going to be as bright or even as clever, but he’ll do everything he can to carry Saihara even if it was through the depths of hell. No, he’ll do everything he can for Shuuichi. Not just as a leader...but as a friend, too.

It’s what Kaede would’ve wanted, and he’d do anything for her.

--

...it hurt. It really did hurt, watching Shuuichi cry his eyes out, but it helped. They’d heal and they’d carry on. They’ll work together, they’ll fight together, they’ll win together.

It would be fine.

It had to be.

“Wah! I thought I found some sort of shadow troll, but it was just that idiot Momota-chan!”

Urgh.

“It’s so late out,” Ouma went on, looming over him with a malicious grin. “Were you contemplating something devious? You weren’t planning on killing anyone, right?”

“Dumbass,” he snapped. “I’m just laying here and thinking. Shouldn’t it be past your bedtime?”

“I’m on a night prowl, you know,” Ouma said. “Unlike you slackers, I care very much about preventing murders, you see!” He laughed, grating and irritating. “That’s a lie! I was actually planning on killing you right here and now! You better start running!”

“Dude, I am not in the fucking mood. I’m...”

Exhausted. He’s fucking exhausted. But, if Shuuichi saw him like this, it’d ruin everything. Still, if he goes to bed, he might end up dreaming of her.

“You gonna sleep outside?” Ouma asked, blinking down at him owlishly. “That’ll make it super easy to kill you, you know.”

“No one’s gonna do that. Kaede, just... She was different.”

“She wasn’t boring, unlike you.”

“...hah.”

Seriously, he didn’t think he’d get Ouma. He just knew he didn’t like this kid.

“Seriously, though.”

He really didn’t understand, especially when Ouma started speaking to him like this.

“Akamatsu-chan isn’t going to be the only one who turns to murder.” This frustrating kid leaned in, his irritatingly childish face obscuring the stars—and the cage bars. “Trusting everyone isn’t feasible. You need to learn how to exercise caution. I won’t always be here to look out for you.”

He didn’t understand, because then Ouma was grinning.

“But I will be there to kill you! Nishishishi!”

“Oi...”

And of course, the brat ran off. Frustrating and incomprehensible—but a total fucking coward all the same. That wasn’t who Kaito wanted to be at all, and it was someone that he really needed to keep far away from Shuuichi, too.

Still, he’s worried. Who wouldn’t be? That jackass may have given Kaede a lot of grief, but...

Even like this, Kaede’s pitiful smile kept flashing and flashing in his mind’s eye.

What would you do? You’d manage, right? You’d definitely...manage.

It would be fine.