#jwed

Dear Future Husband,

As I've mentioned before, I've had a jwed account for a number of years. Maybe even close to 15 years at this point...? So... a while.

Since that weirdo messaged several weeks ago, I've gone onto jwed like once a week just to see if he's popped up anywhere so I can officially block him. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) he still hasn't, so I'm assuming he's got me blocked on his end.

But surprise of all surprises when I randomly just realized that my photos are visible!?!?!?!

Well, he did respond. It was unasked for and unappreciated. He pushed too far, so I pushed back. 

This was my last message to him: 

He decided to be very passive aggressive by taking my starting line and putting it back on me. Here’s what he said:

He was clearly looking for a fight, so I pushed back and after I see that he’s opened the message, I’ll be blocking him. 

I might have been too harsh, but I felt that some of what I said was me standing up for every girl he would possibly speak to. I feel like I should also report him to the site moderators, but I don’t know if I should go that far. 

Why are some guys so pushy?

I have a lot going on in my life right now, but I’ve kept my jwed account active because you never know how or when Hashem will insert the right person into your life, and things can change at the drop of a hat. 

A week ago I started going through my old emails and saw that I had missed a message from a guy on jwed from about two and a half weeks prior, so I clicked over and wrote a little message apologizing for not having seen the message sooner and courteously letting him know that I wasn’t interested. 

I ended my message with “hatzlacha finding your beshert!” which is a subtle way of saying, “I am not your beshert, so keep looking.”

Well, as I said, it’s been a week and he keeps messaging me. 

He even asked to see my profile picture, which I’ve hidden because there are some creepo old guys from my own community (as I’ve mentioned before) who have messaged me and it just made me really uncomfortable. 

Since I didn’t really want to pursue anything with him, I told him that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing my photo to which he replied, “I can respect that but you're not pursuing a thing. You're just showing a a guy what you look like.” Which is something that I don’t really believe. 

I should also mention that his own profile picture is hidden and he didn’t offer to share it with me. 

I explained that I didn’t see it that way and reiterated that from my very first response, I made it clear that I wasn’t interested and that he should just move on. At which point he said, “No offense if you're not ready you shouldn't be on the site. Thsts just my two cents. That's why since you're still here I'm trying to befriend you. I have no expectations.”

I didn’t ask for his two cents! I didn’t ask for a friend! Jwed and the like are not social media sites, they are dating sites. And my profile gives over my general hashkafos, which should make it clear that I don’t really socialize with guys. 

Why is he trying to force something that I’ve basically told him multiple times I don’t want?

He’s not the first guy from a dating site to try to force a relationship with me and I find that very unsettling. Is this how guys are being raised today? I keep hearing about young couples getting divorced, and while the majority of my friends are happily married and (I can only assume) not headed for divorce, I can’t help thinking that maybe all the good guys are either too young or taken, and I’m just scraping the barrel even trying at this point. 

Yes, you read that right.

A 40 year old guy contacted me on Jwed. I'm not even 26 yet!

Ages and locations are part of the profile, so he knows I'm 25 and that I live in the same town as he does. Awkward, much?

Here's his message to me: 

good evening, nice to meet you. please review my profile let me know if you want to correspond. I cam provide my pic password. yisrael sm

I don't even know what to say. "Uh, thanks for the offer, but I have my heart set on someone at least 10 years younger than you, if not more"? I mean, really.