#justifying

9. No Reason, No justifying

A lot of people love to talk about how we have 'a label for everything these days' and how that's such a terrible sign of the weakness of millennials and yaddayaddayadda.

Maybe if we stopped demanding people justify everything then we wouldn't need them. We could just... Accept things.

Maybe if historically we had just accepted 'no I don't want to date you' then we wouldn't need to rely on words like 'gay', 'straight', 'lesbian' so much. We'd all just like who we like without having to say 'I only like girls'. We can just be precise and say 'I only like who I like', which is a lot more accurate, even if both statements are true.

The other day someone brought up Reynaud's Syndrome (basically extremities such as hands and feet are super susceptible to cold due to thinner blood vessels) and some guy asked why we needed a name for that beyond 'cold hands'.

Apart from the obvious medical reasons (it's useful to be able to describe bodily conditions if there are chances of complications or operating or... well, anything), it is useful to have something concrete to back you up when someone inevitably says 'it's not even cold out, why do you have gloves on you wuss?'. There is no inappropriate temperature for warm clothing, beyond 'uncomfortable'.

Maybe just accept they're wearing gloves because they want to or need to, rather than because they have an explanation that you deem acceptable.

Stop asking people to justify their discomfort. If someone says 'hey I'd rather not discuss X, I'm very uncomfortable' then the best response is not 'are you triggered???!!1! Lol' or 'time to face the real world snowflake, why the hell does that bother you?'. It's 'OK, let's change the subject'.

If it's something that needs discussing, such as relationship issues, then y'all can work it out - set a time to talk about it, be gentle, be compassionate. The usual drill.

But generally? Stop asking people to justify their harmless actions. Does it affect you? No? Great. You don't have to demand an answer. Sure, the world is a curious place and you just wanted to know, but come on. Use your imagination, or even maybe just accept the obvious: no, she doesn't want to date you. Yes he's wearing gloves. No, they are not comfortable with this topic of conversation.