do I believe in love? I believe in obsession and sudden disinterest.
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do I believe in love? I believe in obsession and sudden disinterest.

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just thinking about the difference between the ending of vol 1 of bridgerton season 3 vs 4
the way my heart MELTS in the carriage scene and with colinās proposal vs the way my entire body, mind, and soul CRINGE at benedictās āproposalā
Hereās how the early fandom (s1/s2) was like, for those who joined late:
- Mileven all around, people loved them.
- Lots of babysitter Steve jokes. Now they are still very prevalent, but back then they were EVERYWHERE it was horrible. Steve himself was all around, but that hasnāt changed. I actually donāt really remember much stancy, I think more people were jancy lovers than now.
- Will was kind of ignored BUT not as much as he is now (the ga went from simply focusing on other characters they found more ācoolā [El, mainly] to purposely ignoring Will the moment s3 dropped).
- However, there was absolutely no Will hate, at least, that I remember. They didnāt focus on him much, but the ga still loved him and felt so bad for him (things like āprotect Will at all costsā, ālet Will have a good day in s3šā, āWill is the cutest smol beanš„ŗā were everywhere).
- El and her pink dress and wig. Everyoneās favorite El outfit, apparently. Also, El and eggos were hand in hand, I hate the fandomsā obsession of making a character be ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED with a food simply because they like it. Why.
- Lucas was completely ignored and even hated (the way the homophobic ga treats Will now was how Lucas was treated back then. Even in s3 people didnāt really care about him, he only got popular after s4). Same with Caleb, I think I read somewhere than the fans were horrible towards him (didnāt want to take pictures with him, only other cast members, etc) :(
- Surprisingly, I remember several byler instagram accounts. The instagram fanfics converted me to byler ngl. There was one which I donāt remember anything about, but it had something to do with prison?? Also youtube and instagram byler edits >>> (peak byler edits era. I kinda miss it)
- Jonathan has always been ignored but people generally liked him (except those who hated him because of him taking pictures of Nancy).
- I remember how absolutely bodyshamed Nancy was. Many people were making fun of her because she was āsuper flatā (when she took her shirt off at Steveās house and revealed her bra. Since she didnāt have a huge chest, that meant she was SOOOO flat. Sure, the actress was an adult [still doesnāt make it ok to bodyshame her] but Nancy was 15/16. How tf do they expect a 15/16 year old girl to look like?).
- So many content of the cast together, so many fun interviews, etc.
- (Finn and Millie were shipped a lot. Like, a LOT. It was weird.)
- Lots of Barb appreciation. Everyone loved her.
My main qualm with the vampire lestat show version is the structure. All these story beats are only hitting deeper emotionally for me because Iāve read some of the books. Iām so curious how non book readers are experiencing it because I fear Iād feel whiplash with all the timeline jumping. Itās almost dreamlike
I love when you get to the point in a friendship where you can just sit in comfortable silence together and each do your own thing for hours

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I decided to try fake nails (partially trying feel feminine mostly just trying to stop myself from chewing my fingers to the bone)
Idk what it is about this particular hiatus but I keep forgetting we're back in less than 20 days cause there's just been radio silence from most parts of production and not heaps of advertising from ABC. It just feels... weird