What… the fuck… what if you had a commitment and had to leave?? They is ridiculous and super frustrating :(

i mean,,, im sure it would have been fine? like he would have just said “oh ok we’ll come back another day” and then i would have had to wait another 4 months probably so like id rather this than the second option

23. the one where once you meet your soulmate, it’s physically uncomfortable to be apart from them for too long.

Dex has had a headache for the last two days. 

It’s driving him crazy, because there’s no reason for him to have a headache, and he’s not the kind of person who usually gets them. He used to get chirped for it growing up, about how he never gets sick, about how he can stare at his laptop in the dark for hours and never have a problem, about how he’s always the last person standing when some plague goes through the rest of the family. 

He probably got it from Nursey, he thinks, a little grumpily. They’ve been texting off and on since Dex got back from Samwell, and Nursey’s been complaining about a migraine that came out of nowhere. Dex doesn’t think migraines are supposed to be contagious, but he’s picked up all sorts of things since he started dating Nursey, so spontaneous headaches might just be one more thing he has to put up with. 

The point is that he’s had this stupid headache for like two days, and he’s annoyed. 

“Take another Advil and drink some water,” his mom tells him, when he whines to her about it from the couch. “Honestly, Billy, you’ve been moping since you got home from school. Are you going to spend the whole break like this?”

And it--clicks.

“Oh,” Dex says, and his mom blinks at him from where she’s just come back from the kitchen with a glass of water from him. “Oh, fuck.”

“Billy?” His mom frowns. “What is it?”

Dex doesn’t answer, is too busy fumbling his phone out of his pocket, tapping Nursey’s name in his contacts and shoving his feet into his sneakers while he waits for the call to connect. 

“Will?” 

Nursey’s voice sounds sleepy, and strained, and tight with pain, and Dex’s heart clenches in his chest. “Babe,” he says, and pointedly ignores the way his mother’s mouth drops open. “When did your headache start?”

“I...” He hears a rustling, and recognizes it as the sound of Nursey moving around in bed. “I don’t know, a few hours after you left? I kinda lost track of time, I’ve been trying to sleep it off. It’s doing fuck-all. Why?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dex breathes. He grabs his jacket. “Are you still at the Haus?” 

“Yeah. My train home doesn’t leave til tonight.” Nursey sounds confused. “Dex, what’s going on?”

“Just stay there, okay? Just stay. I’ll tell you when I get home.”

“WIll--”

“Just trust me,” he says, because his head hurts, and he can’t do this over the phone, but he’s never been surer about anything in his life. “Derek, just trust me, okay?” 

Nursey’s quiet for a moment, and Dex holds his breath. “I,” Nursey says finally, and then, “Okay. Okay.” And then, softer, almost unsure, “You’re coming home?”

“I’m coming home,” Dex says. “Go back to sleep.” He hangs up the phone, and turns back to his mother, who’s gaping at him.

“Billy,” she says. “What the ever-loving hell?”

Dex gives her a lopsided smile, strained through the pounding in his temples, but it’s already receding, has been since he told Nursey, I’m coming home. He takes the cup of water from his mom’s almost-slack fingers, swallowing the two Advil in her open palm and draining the glass. “Sorry,” he says, and picks up his keys. “I have to go.”

A20. the one where you don’t know your soulmate until you hear them say your name.

They come up the stairs of the house together, Clint and a woman who almost looks…blurry. 

Laura frowns, boosting Lila a little higher on her hip, and Lila curls her tiny, chubby fingers into the collar of Laura’s cardigan. “Yeah, do you see Daddy?” she murmurs, bouncing her gently. “It looks like he’s brought a friend home, hm? Let’s go see.” 

She leaves the nursery, heading down the main staircase just in time to hear the front door open, Clint’s gorgeous, familiar voice calling, “Honey, I’m home!” She rolls her eyes, fond and just shy of amused.

“Hi, sweetheart,” she says, coming around the corner, and she–stops.

There is a woman next to Clint, and Laura can’t…can’t quite focus on her, not properly. She’s not tall and not short, her hair is…red, maybe? For a moment, Laura squints at her, trying to get a proper look, and she thinks she sees green eyes, full lips, loose curls. It’s a beautiful face, she thinks, before it blurs again, and Laura can’t quite tell why this feels familiar.

“Laur,” Clint says, stepping up to her and wrapping an arm around her waist. Automatically, she tips her head up to kiss his jaw. “I need you to meet someone. And to, uh, not get mad?”

A soft laugh from the woman on Clint’s other side, and it settles over Laura’s bones. “I told you not to lead with that,” she says, and Laura sees a hand extend toward her. 

“Hi,” the woman says. “I’m Natasha, Clint’s partner. It’s good to finally meet you, Laura.” 

And–

Oh, she thinks, as her vision clears, and Natasha’s clear green eyes, lovely and bright, swim into view beside Clint’s, as gorgeous as they’ve been since he said her name in a bar and brought color rushing into her world. 

Oh. There you are. 

Laura smiles. “Hello, Natasha,” she says, and is so, so glad that she can see it clearly as Natasha’s lips curve in a smile. 

I got into 1 of the 7 schools I applied to, with 1 waitlist, 2 that haven’t responded still, and 3 rejections. I don’t know that it helps, but I’m trying to remind myself that this doesn’t necessarily mean I’m not good enough; they might not be able to take more people doing what I’m doing, or they’re bringing in fewer students this year. While undergrad and even the MA feel more tied to grades, I have to keep reminding myself that the PhDs consider way more factors that I can’t control!

ahh, that’s a really good mindset to have! at least from the schools i got rejected from, i’m definitely not upset over those. it was easy to quickly make peace with that— but i definitely will have to keep in mind the points you brought up for the others.

it’s been a far better round this cycle than last time, because i was just… a complete mess with zero guidance last round, lol. so i think learning from that experience helped re-frame my understanding of it all.

… i do have to admit that waiting is just painful, which i’m more hung up about than anything else, ugh. can’t figure out if applying or waiting is worse…

mannnn this takeout place is a 3 minute walk from my apartment.. every day is an exercise in restraint..

junglemean said: That stir fry looks so good and your tattoo is adorable! Good luck with applications! I am also in application hell, but for PhDs.

junglemean :  Like ablogwithaview said, almost all American PhDs include the MA, and also require way more courses. My uni's English PhD in Canada requires 4 courses, while many in the US require up to 14. We often have to add up our grades in Canada too because profs only post the final grade online, not for each assignment!

Deodorant is the one thing that I just cannot integrate into my daily routine and always end up forgetting

I just get very frustrated with last minute changes, and something like "actually, you need to be home all day even though you planned on doing things" would send me into a rage.