#jungkook reader insert

The limits discussion came in the morning, long and in depth, paired with safe words and mutual agreements. And after that, many more rounds until the both of you were spent. From that day forward, Jungkook took full advantage of your little kink, and you were happy to let him.

The allowance of his band mates to use you was his idea. He'd seen how stressed and frustrated his hyungs were, and sure it was easy for them to get laid, but it was also stressful to protect themselves as world famous idols if they did. So, he suggested they use you as their stress relief. You were more eager to help them than he'd expected. So another round of discussions came around, time frames when you were at their beck and call. And before you knew it, you were theirs to play with as they pleased.

It was during one of those time frames that Jungkook came home from a schedule, finding you laid out across the couch, legs pressed wide and Hoseok's fingers buried inside of you. When you noticed his presence, you buried your face in your arms, hiding from your lover's hungry gaze. He had already been looking forward to having a little fun with you, but he hadn't expected his hyung to be getting you warmed up by the time he got home.

"Starting without me?" He asked, crouching down beside the couch. Hoseok looked up, grinning at the younger man and continuing to scissor his long digits inside of you.

"Barely. Just got here." He answered. Jungkook reached up, pulling your arms away from your face and leaning down to press his lips to yours.

"Having fun, pretty girl?" He asked. You whined in response, Hobi's fingertips brushing against the spongy spot inside of you and making your hips jerk. "Look at how pretty you are. Always so embarrassed like you're not begging to be used."

His filthy words were still laced with a gentle affection that had your head spinning. Hobi pulled his fingers out of your pussy, pressing them to your lips and watching as you sucked them in. You had only just finished cleaning your arousal off of his fingers when Jungkook was turning your head, moving you so your face was pressed against the bulge in his boxers. You hadn't even noticed him stripping off his pants.

You mouthed at his cock through the fabric, suckling the tip and leaving a dark spot over it, wet with his precum and your saliva. Meanwhile, Hobi moved quickly, stripping his top half, then shoving his pants and underwear off his long legs. You wanted to look, but you couldn't turn your head far enough with Jungkook's hand pressing firmly against your jaw.

"Take it out," Jungkook told you, and you reached up, tugging his boxers down until his aching length was exposed to you. He didn't even have to tell you what to do, just sitting pretty while you wrapped your lips around the tip, tongue dipping against his slit. He grunted quietly, slowly rocking his hips to press his length deeper into your warm mouth.

Hoseok lined himself up with your weeping hole, tapping his cock against your clit and listening to the muffled whines you let out around his friend's dick. He pushed your thighs wider, and you winced at the stretch in your hips, but then he was sinking his cock into you and all thoughts were wiped clear from your mind.

Jungkook stroked your hair, fucking lazily into your mouth and letting you swirl your tongue along the vein running up his dick.

"Look so pretty taking care of us." Jungkook purred, fucking into your mouth deeper until you were gagging around him, spit trailing from the corner of your lips, and as far as he was concerned, it was the prettiest sight he'd ever seen. Nothing compared to watching your body be used to help his friends.

"She clenches on my dick so hard when you gag her like that," Hoseok hissed through clenched teeth, his hips rocking into yours and big hands gripping your hips so tight that there would probably be bruises. "Fuck her throat for me."

Jungkook didn't have to be told twice, holding your head in place and thrusting into your throat like it was his favorite toy. You squeezed your eyes shut, fighting to breathe with the tip of his dick kissing the back of your throat. He reached down, using his thumb to pry your mouth open a little more, drool and precum leaking down your face. Hoseok sped up, fucking you with deep, hard thrusts in time with Jungkook's hips. The feeling had you on cloud nine.

Your body had gotten used to the feeling of being used by them, but it wasn't often that you took more than one of them at a time, and it was even more rare for them to treat you like a total slut. Your chest was aching for breath when Jungkook finally let up, pulling his dick out of your mouth and allowing you to greedily gulp down air, coughing and spluttering and looking up at him through the tears spilling down your cheeks.

"Make me cum," He told you, bringing your hand up to wrap around his spit-soaked dick. You took over immediately, stroking him as well as you could with Hoseok's thrusts driving you up the couch. Jungkook groaned, feeling his orgasm building at the sight of you going dumb on Hobi's dick.

"Close," You warned, head tipped back as you swirled your thumb around the tip of Jungkook's dick. Every thrust Hobi made was dragging deliciously against your sweet spot, and your legs were trembling around his hips, pulling him in deeper. He reached down, expertly swirling his fingers against your clit and sending you careening into pure bliss.

The sight of you cumming was too much for Jungkook. He wrapped his hand around yours, tightening your grip on his dick and thrusting into it faster until he was spilling his cum onto you, some of it landing on your chest and neck, the rest dripping down your hand and along your wrist.

Hobi bit his bottom lip, fucking you through your orgasm until you were squirming away in overstimulation, then pulling out to jerk his cock a few times, his own cum painting your thighs. You closed your eyes, tired and sensitive, and a little too embarrassed to look at the two of them.

"Get her cleaned up, I'll get water." Hoseok said, standing up and pulling his boxers on. Jungkook still looked a little high off his orgasm and the sight of his beloved girlfriend getting fucked, but he nodded, using his boxers to wipe the cum off his dick and your hand before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

"Feeling okay, pretty?" He asked, brushing your hair out of your face. You nodded, blinking up at him. "Good, you were so perfect for us. Gonna go grab a towel and get you cleaned up and then you can relax again."

With that promise he was off to the bathroom to wet a rag to clean you up, and you were content to melt into the couch with the two of them pampering you and thanking you for taking care of them. Even if it left you exhausted being the personal stress toy for all seven boys, you wouldn't have turned it down for the world.

You make your way back to Yoongi's office, a small smile on your face as you present his cup of coffee. "Mr. Min, your saving grace is here!" You dramatically proclaim, earning a small chuckle from him. Namjoon must've made his way into his office as well, relaxing in the chairs opposite of where Yoongi sits. While you don't know Namjoon too well, you know that both of them are close friends. Stumbling across both of them at a bar once made you embarrassed enough to steer clear of that specific one. You also know that Namjoon has a small bonsai tree that he takes really good care of. While he was on vacation, Yoongi had to babysit it once and you've never seen him more stressed out. It sits on the windowsill of his office. "Good morning, Mr. Kim," You quickly offered a small bow, sitting the coffee on a coaster.

"Mr. Kim? You make me feel like I'm 60 years old." He jokingly groaned, making Yoongi laugh at the both of you. "You can just call me Namjoon if you'd like." You quickly thanked him before realizing the time. You're technically supposed to be at your spot at 7 on the dot, but no one usually hassles you about it.

"I've got to get to my desk, see you guys around!" You smiled, making your way to the receptionist's desk. It sat in the middle of the floor, the elevator being directly in front with a few seats and decorations in between. It's not a very difficult job theoretically, sign people in, schedule meetings, cancel meetings, help people who got lost, etc. Relatively uneventful from day to day in all honesty. You could hear the elevator ding open, not paying much attention to it as you assumed it was one of your bosses just getting in. It was more or less likely Jin, he's usually the last one in the building.

You jumped slightly as you heard a voice in front of you, "Excuse me, ma'am." His voice was slightly shaky and small compared to the large, empty waiting area. You glanced up, slightly taken back by the person the voice belonged to. He had long, dark hair that just went past his eyes but was styled so it didn't get in his way. You could see the shimmer of silver jewelry decorating his ears as he pushed back his hair and a similar necklace that was hidden underneath his collar. He was dressed formally, in a casual suit with a well-done tie.

He was breathtaking, not something you normally see walking around here. "Good Morning! How can I help you?" You smiled, looking for any sort of name tag but finding nothing. If visitors are here for a meeting, they more or less wear some sort of tag on them. You've never seen him around here before, and he looked much too young to be a business partner you thought.

"I'm here to see Mr. Min." He said, making his voice very clear but still small and quiet. He looked too out of place, glancing around the receptionist desk and waiting room as if he were a lost puppy.

After nodding to him, you glanced over to your computer. You can see all of the scheduled meetings for the day and each one has a check-in button. "Mr. Min does not have any meetings until 11 am. Are you sure it's Min Yoongi?" You asked as nicely as possible, seeing his hands shake slightly as he folded them in front of himself. Maybe he does have a meeting but just mixed up the names.

"Yes, yes it's Yoongi. But I'm not here for a meeting, I'm his new assistant." He explained, never unfolding his hands. Your heart ached for him, he was shaking with nerves. Your heart ached even more thinking about this poor boy sitting in front of Yoongi.

"Oh, I see, I see. I'll take you to his office. " You smiled, getting up and gesturing for him to follow. He did, following slightly behind you as you walked past various offices. You wanted to spark up some sort of conversation, but since he was behind you it just felt awkward. "I'll give you some top secret advice, ok?" You said, causing him to smile slightly. "Yoongi isn't as scary as he looks. He just tries to come off that way for business relations you see. You guys will be good friends in no time, I'm sure of it. If he likes you enough, he'll even take you out to dinner one time."

This seemed to relax him slightly, but that was quickly gone as you stopped in front of his office. "I'm Jungkook, by the way." He said, rubbing his palms together. It's a bit late for name exchanges, you thought, but better late than never you suppose.

"I'm y/n." You smiled, knocking on the door. "Yoongi? I have a present for you." You smiled at Jungkook who seemed more relaxed, pushing the door open. "Yoongi, this is Jungkook, your new assistant. Jungkook, this is Yoongi." You said, holding the door open so he could walk in. Jungkook formally introduced himself first, followed by Yoongi. You could instantly tell it was going to be awkward, cringing in on yourself. As they began talking, you slowly slipped out of the room and made your way back to the desk.

You hope he'll stick with the job and not let Yoongi scare him away. It would be really fun to have a new guy closer to your age to hang around with. If you were lucky, you might be able to catch him on his lunch break if Yoongi doesn't send him out. Your reality is sadly crushed as a few hours pass by and you spot him shuffling down the hall, note in hand.

"Where are you goin', assistant boy?" You call out as he walks past you, a small smile spreading across your face and you prop your head upon your palm. You can't help but chuckle lightly as he visibly jumps, spinning around to face you. You already know where exactly he's going and what exactly he has written on the note, Yoongi is too predictable. You just wanted to see him squirm as he explained what he was doing.

"Uhm, hi?" He smiles, gripping the paper slightly harder as it crinkles. "I'm heading out to get Yoongi's lunch and a smoothie he wants." He explains, waving the note at you.

"Do you know what café you're heading to?" You smirk, knowing the answer to that question already too. His eyebrows fall for a moment as he scans his note over, searching for any café name. You assume he either didn't write it down, or Yoongi didn't mention it because he shoved the crinkled paper into his pocket. He looks so defeated and he hasn't even made it through a whole day, arms hanging at his side, tie a little looser than it was this morning, hair messier from most likely rustling it.

"No, I don't. I'll go ask him."

"Don't worry about it, I'll take you." You smile, already getting up before he has any chance to deny your offer. "I need to take my lunch break anyway." After collecting your stuff as quickly as possible, you make your way over to the elevator with Kook right behind you.

"So, do you always leave your desk unattended?" He asks quietly and for a second you can't tell if it's an insult or a joke. You have to peek over your shoulder at him, a small smirk playing on his face as he tries not to laugh at himself.

"Hahaha, you should be thankful you know. Yoongi would've gotten mad if you forgot to write down the name." You smile, facing back towards the elevator doors. You can feel him thinking behind you for a moment before he finally speaks up.

"Would he be mad at me?" He whispers, making you bust out laughing.

"No, no, I was just kidding. He's not that mean. Anyway, how have you guys been getting along?" You finally turned completely around in the elevator to face him, thus giving you a chance to glance over him. He flushes as you make eye contact, cheeks pink as he looks around at the walls. His eyes are wide and innocent, sparkling slightly underneath the overhead lights.

"You know, we've just been making small talk all morning. And he's been telling me what I need to do, but this is the first task he's given me." He nods, patting his pocket where the note sat. "I think he's cool though, he speaks quietly and it makes me calm."

You want to keep the conversation going, racking your brain for any sort of relevant topic. "Have you met any of the others today? Namjoon or Jin?" You made eye contact once again as he looked around, his eyes leaving just as fast as before.

"Uhm, I believe Mr. Namjoon was in his office this morning, but he left when he saw me." He explained, his sentence being ended by the elevator dinging. You walked out first, Kook following you once more. As you walked to the café, you had him write down the directions in case he forgot later on. He's extremely observant and uses landmarks to figure out where he's going rather than street names.

"I promise it'll get easier. The first day is always very overwhelming, especially with Yoongi." You laughed, "On my first day, Namjoon helped me out. I was too afraid to talk to Yoongi.”

Jungkook laughed at you, obviously humored by your reluctance to even talk to Yoongi. You get to the café a few moments later, opening the door for Jungkook and adding a small, “ladies first” to see his reaction. There was very little if any, just a small smile before his face fell again, eyes wide and glossy. Maybe he's just nervous because of Yoongi?

“So, I just go up there and get his order?” He asks, rubbing the palms of his hands together as he psyches himself up. You nod, nudging him lightly towards the cash register, rather than the pick-up window he was currently standing at. He's embarrassed, you can tell as he talks to the worker with his head slightly bowed.

You decided to get the same smoothie as Yoongi, knowing how good they are because you stole a sip once. And by stealing, you asked him beforehand and he replied with a vaguely threatening, “Don’t touch my drink, desk lady.” So of course, you touched it. Unfortunately, you forgot to remember a single smoothie is close to $10 whole dollars, cringing for a brief moment. Jungkook immediately notices your dreadful eyes, butting in with a sweet, “I'll pay for you, noona!” The gesture makes your heart swell, but you’re quick to turn him down.

“No, no! I get paid plenty for just sitting around all day, I got it!” You smile, gently pushing him back towards the pickup window. His eyes are wide as he smiles back at you, eyes sparkling just slightly under the lights. After paying the ridiculous $10, you meet up with him at the pick-up window. “Do you think you can walk us back to work?” You tease, already testing how well he knows his way.

“With ease,” he smiles, a bit of arrogance washing over his face, common for a boy his age. He does exactly that after you leave, easily using landmarks to guide the two of you where you need to go. He’s proud of himself, you can tell, but he’ll never say it out loud.

“Good job, kook!” You smile, rubbing his back for a brief moment of congratulations. You step off at your floor first, Jungkook following before making his way to Yoongi’s office. You ponder for a moment before following him, slipping into his office just as Yoongi bites into his sandwich. Your body stops abruptly as you can hear the slam of his sandwich back into the wrapper.

“I said no pickles.” He mumbles, not angry but also not pleased. While Jungkook seems like a strong man, it’s easy to tell he’s overwhelmed with his first day and won’t be able to digest this. You thank whatever gut feeling told you to come in here after him.

“Sorry Yoongi, that’s my fault. I ordered it for him,” You explain, grabbing the sandwich off of his desk. “I’ll be back in 10 minutes with the correct order.” You bow lower than needed, staring at your heels that are 100% coming off as you run to the café. It’s technically not the truth, but you can’t bear to send Jungkook back out. Yoongi isn’t mad, simply going back to his laptop which sits directly in front of him now. Before jungkook has any time to react, you book it out of the office, snatching your heels off in the process.

It’s exactly 9 minutes later when you return to his office, slightly sweaty with a new sandwich (as well as the old one) in hand. “Here’s your correct order, and they added a bag of chips for the trouble.” You explain, handing it to him before making your leave. Yoongi knows you took the fall, but he won’t say anything, not yet anyway.

You don't see either of them for the rest of the day, sitting at your desk and dealing with whoever comes in. Along with that, you took your extra free time and began to clean up around the reception area. At around 5 is when you normally pack up, but Yoongi has a meeting coming in around 5:30 so you’re forced to stay awhile longer.

“Uhm, Y/N?” A small voice mumbles, a smile spreading across your face as it can only be one person.

“There’s my favorite boy! Are you off work?” You smile, spinning around to face him. He gives you a small nod, glancing back to Yoongi’s office as if he were reassuring himself he can leave. “How was your first day? Exciting huh?” You smile, resting your head on your hands.

“You didn’t have to do that for me.” He explains, fidgeting with his hands. You can read his expression as he now messes with his tie.

“I wanted your first day to be good, I can’t have Yoongi scaring you off the first day.” You laugh to yourself, checking the time. 10 more minutes and you’re out of here. “Plus, I needed my cardio for today.”

Jungkook finally laughs, the awkward atmosphere dissipating. “Uhm, can I take you out to dinner?” You glance up to meet his expression, ears red and face slightly flushed. “Not like that! As just like a thank you! For helping me today.” He’s talking with his hands, gesturing around the office.

“I get off in….less than 10 minutes. Maybe even earlier if they come in early.” As if on cue, the elevator door dings, revealing the man you were not so patiently waiting on. “Mr. Park? Yes, Mr. Min is waiting in his office. You're good to go back.” You smile, checking him in. Jungkook waits until he’s completely in his office to speak up again.

“So, you’re off now?”

This causes you to giggle, logging off of your computer, and happily jumping up. “Yep, let’s go!” You smile, grabbing your belongings and heading to the elevator.

Much to your dismay, Jungkook insists on driving you to the restaurant despite your car being in the parking garage. There's a small banter that somehow, the boy has an answer for everything.

“Well, how am I going to get home?”

“I’ll drop you off!”

“How will I get to work tomorrow morning?”

“I’ll pick you up.”

“What happens if someone breaks into my car?”

“There are cameras all around the building, Yoongi showed me the security footage.” You cringe at this, knowing there’s a camera that sits in the corner of the waiting room. Now and then you’ll stare directly at it, hoping Yoongi is checking the camera at that exact moment. It's a gamble and it’s very unlikely, but it happens every once in a blue moon. “We saw you glaring at the camera.”

At this, you want to jump out of the car. Jungkook cackles next to you, completely different than when he was on the clock. He’s still rather shy, reserved, and quiet by nature, but you can see his personality more. “Please stop, I do it to freak out Yoongi sometimes.”

“How do you know he’s watching?”

“....I don’t.” This causes him to laugh again, pulling into the parking lot with tears forming in his eyes. How embarrassing this turns out to be. Dinner goes smoothly, both of you making small talk about anything that crosses your mind. Things such as college, high school, past jobs, hobbies, etc. You learn that Jungkook is both exactly who you think he is, but also the complete opposite. He likes tattoos and even has some of his own, he likes gaming but also going out with friends. He's competitive by nature and hates losing. He’s reserved and quiet but becomes the life of the party with his friends.

You also learn that he’s just shy of a year younger than you, something you thank the heavens for. You don't think you could stand the cougar jokes from Yoongi if you were markedly older. You share a drink, Jungkook only having a singular cup of wine as he has to drive later. You admire him, he’s more humble and kind than many boys his age.

“You’re a good kid, Jungkook.” You smile, drinking from your cup. The night is coming to an end, with both of you talking for a couple of hours. All of the street lights are on, little to no cars are out anymore.

“Kid, I’m just a bit younger than you!” He huffs, making your heart swell once again in your chest. He’s cute when he’s pouty, bottom lip jutting out just the slightest bit. You’re sure he doesn’t realize, it’s more of a habit than a conscious decision.

The ride to your house was also fairly quiet, soft humming coming from the both of you as the radio plays to fill the background noise. You instruct him where to go and where to turn, and once again you can tell he’s using landmarks to memorize his ways. He is an interesting boy, extremely attentive. “This upcoming apartment complex is mine.” You smile, pointing so Jungkook doesn’t miss it.

“It’s... nice.” He mumbles, glancing up at all the windows and the front desk area.

“As I said, I get paid a lot just to sit around.” You giggle, unbuckling your seat belt and grabbing your belongings. “I had a lot of fun tonight!” You smile, a sudden rush filling your cheeks. At the moment, you lean over and press a small kiss on his cheek. You're met with wide eyes and pink cheeks, but thankfully not disgust. “Next time, it’ll be my treat.” (Jungkook insisted on paying, but you slipped the waiter $30 before the check came to cover the drinks you shared.)

With a small wave, you opened the door. “Wait! Uhm I need your number so I can pick you up...so I can text you I'm here tomorrow.” He smiles, a nervous chuckle escaping his lips.

“Of course, I almost forgot.” You smiled, typing your number into his phone before climbing out. “Drive home safe, alright. Goodnight, Kookie!” Waving goodbye, you walked into the building with a new sense of pride. You were proud to say you felt confident that he wouldn’t be quitting within the next week at least. You found that many quit within the first week as Yoongi isn’t what most people expect.

You're giddy with excitement as you walk up to your apartment, quickly changing out of your work uniform before jumping into your bed. You can feel your phone buzz, pulling it out to see a text from an unsaved number.

This is Jungkook! This is my number!! :)

You can’t help but smile, saving the number before setting your phone to charge. You fall asleep not much after that, a good day despite the small bumps.

_--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--_

Safe to say you’re embarrassingly behind by the time Jungkook comes to pick you up. You’ve been excited all morning, going as far as to put on some light makeup to look nice. When he texts you,

I’m here, take your time though 😊

You have yet to put in shoes or get breakfast. Thankfully, you’re completely ready besides that. In a rush, you grab 2 bagels, your bag, and slip-on heels before making your way down. You weren’t too bad, Jungkook had been sitting for just a little under 10 minutes, nothing to make you late though.

“Sorry for the wait! I had to find my shoes.” You smiled, half-lie and half-truth. “But I brought you a bagel.” You smiled, handing it over to him and he began driving. Traffic was slightly busy as normal, everyone making their morning commute to work before sunrise. You once again made small talk, mainly about how Yoongi enjoys having his morning coffee before meetings. Jungkook became nervous as you pulled into the parking garage, parking next to your car that remains untouched. “But his coffee isn’t hard to make, you’ll be ok!”

“See, your car didn’t get broken into.” He jokes, nodding to your car that was perfectly fine. You knew he would be right, but that’s not the point you were trying to make last night.

“Yeah yeah, Mr. know it all.” You smile, getting out of the car and making your way in. There's a small groan of dread you share in the elevator, almost as if you’ve been coworkers forever. Both of you make your way into Yoongi’s office, you plopping into his chair as Jungkook is hard at work making his coffee. “So, how’s he doing Yoongi?”

Yoongi just chuckles, leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed. “I see you’ve grown a fondness of him?” He teases, glancing over to you.

You yawn, which makes him also yawn. “Hey, not my fault everyone I encounter is 10+ years older than me.” You shrug, to which Yoongi quickly retaliates. It's an ongoing joke that you pretend he’s an old man compared to you, which you and Jin also share.

“But to answer your question, he’s doing good. He’s listening and I think once he gets over his little nervous bit, he’ll be a good worker. And don’t think I’m stupid, pickles yesterday?” He smiles, to which you pretend you have no idea what in the world he’s talking about. This causes him to laugh, but he quickly lets the little nag go as Jungkook enters the room with coffee. Yoongi takes a small sip, both of you silent as you wait for a reaction. “....hot.” Is all he says which causes you to bust out laughing, a nervous chuckle falling from Kook.

“That means he likes it, you might even steal my morning coffee job.” You fake a frown, joking with Jungkook as you make your leave. Namjoon is coming into the office just as you leave, quickly greeting him before bidding goodbye. Your desk is just as you left it, and with a big sigh, you turn on your computer.

Sadly, you don’t see either Kook, Yoongi, or the others for almost the entire day. Even during lunch, no one came out of their offices to the front desk. You had a feeling most of them probably worked through their breaks, the weekend coming up meaning paperwork has to be finalized or it becomes homework over the weekend for them. You are admittedly bummed out as you eat lunch alone. It's not until 5 that someone emerges from their office, that someone being Namjoon on his way to grab water for his plants. He’s whistling as he heads into the break room, not a single care in the world.

At around 5:30, you finally clock out and walk to the office to let Yoongi know you’re heading out. As soon as you open the door, you bless Jungkook’s poor little soul as both him and Yoongi are on the floor, waist-deep in files and paper. You can’t tell if they’re organizing or looking for something specific. You can quickly conclude it’s better not to ask and not get involved. “Ok guys, I’m heading out. Have a good night.” You smile, turning on your heels.

“Wait, Y/N,” Yoongi calls, making your face scrunch as you debate on making a run for it. “Do you think you could help us out?”

You curse the ground your boss walks on. “What do you need me to do?” You sigh, walking in and allowing the door to close behind you. They must’ve been at it all day, and that’s why it’s been so quiet and dead.

“All of the papers are already organized. You just need to set them into one of those file folder things, write the date on the tag, and put it in the corresponding cabinet.” He explained. Each cabinet had a little sticker with a date written on it, such as 4-1 through 5-1, etc. and the tabs on the folder would make it even easier for him to find papers if needed.

“You’re lucky I haven’t clocked out yet.” You laugh, joining them on the floor as you begin organizing with them. Out of everyone, Yoongi has the worst handwriting. You notice this as you put away some of the folders that were written. Jungkook’s handwriting is neat and small, easy fitting dates on the small tabs. You can tell Yoongi is getting tired, stopping now and then to look at the mess around his office. “When’d you clock in today Yoongi?”

“Uhmmm around 4? Why?” He shrugs, causing both you and Jungkook to look over at him. Usually, he comes in early, but never that early. “What??? I had a lot of stuff to do….and couldn’t sleep because of it.”

“We have to get you on some sleep meds.” You half-joked, causing the two boys to laugh. “Yoongi, you can go home. Kook and I will finish up, we’re almost done anyway.” You smile.

You can tell he's going to leave early, but not before putting up an act, are you sure? I can stay a little longer? Are you sure you can finish for me? He puts his show on spectacularly before taking his leave and clocking out. You laugh as he makes his way out, “YOU TWO GET A BONUS THIS WEEK!”

Jungkook silently punches the air next to you, fake celebrating which causes you to giggle at him. “So, is this all you’ve been doing all day?”

Jungkook glances over to you with the most tired, worn-out expression you’ve seen on him thus far. The glance was a very loud and clear yes, as he began to laugh. “It was hell earlier, I had to organize them by date. So I had to flip through all of them, especially if the date wasn’t on the front cover.” He said, fake crying to emphasize his point. “Has everyone else left?”

“Uhm, more than likely yes. The last person I saw was Namjoon, but he was probably watering his plants and then leaving for the night.” You explained, shrugging. Jin has a life motto, show up late and leave early, so you’d doubt he’s still in the office. You always joke, agreeing with him wholeheartedly much to Yoongi’s distaste.

As you are finishing up the paperwork, both of you jump as a small click fills the silence followed by the building lights shutting off. There's a moment of just confusion as well as a mix of unsaid “What do we do now?” Suddenly, both of you begin to laugh. “God, can this day get any better?!” Jungkook exclaims, laying down on the floor as you can no longer see anything you’re doing.

You can’t help but laugh, pulling out your phone and beginning to finish up the papers. You only have 2 more folders to go, easily putting them away as Jungkook still lays on the floor in exhaustion. “My brain is all fried out.” He states quietly.

There’s another pause of silence, broken by footsteps outside of the office. To this, Jungkook finally jumps up from laying down on the floor. They’re not heels, but they’re also not tennis shoes. “Kook….did you hear that?” You whisper, leaning back to nudge him. He’s on the same boat, eyes wide as he attempts to listen for any more sounds. There are more footsteps now, louder, and seemingly more people. “What do we do??” You whisper.

“Just wait here.” He whispers, carefully getting up and creeping towards the door. He slowly opens it, peering around to look for the culprit. If there’s one thing you know, Jungkook is extremely gifted both physically and martial arts-wise. If it were you and Jin in this situation, you’re as good as goners. “I don’t see anyone?” He mumbles, gesturing for you to follow him. You do so carefully and almost methodically as you stop your heels from clacking.

“Wait, I’ll go check the light switch.” You gulp, slowly walking to the front desk to flip the small switch that sits by the desk. Nothing happens, leaving you and Jungkook still sitting in the dark. You’re at the front desk while he remains by the office, looking around. A small chuckle to your right sends you running, you don’t even care to see who or what it is, running to Jungkook to protect you.

He’s startled as you run into his arms, grabbing his bicep and quickly hiding behind him as you point toward the desk. He inches forward, looking for a culprit as you continue hiding. Still chuckling, said the culprit is sitting at your desk and holding his stomach as he doubled over. Getting an actual look, it’s Yoongi with takeout bags in hand.

“YOONGI? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?” You screech, causing him to laugh even harder than before. Jungkook laughs along with him, “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” You whine, smacking his arm as you just ran to Jungkook like a child.

“You should’ve seen how fast you ran!!” He laughs, the bags now sitting on your desk. “I’ve never seen you move faster in my life! And you ran to Jungkook!!??” He laughs harder now, whining about how his stomach is cramping from laughing so hard.

“He’s a black belt in taekwondo and does boxing, he would’ve fucked shit up if needed,” you defend, getting offended for the boy who he backhanded insulted. Your heart is still beating erratically in your chest, whether this is from your initial fright or the thought of holding onto Jungkook for protection. He’s more muscular than he lets on, face soft and innocent compared to how built he is.

“I brought you guys food for helping me out,” Yoongi finally explained his reason for sneaking around. “And I thought scaring you would be funny.” He smiles, “I’m pulling the security cameras tomorrow, by the way!” You want to pass away right now.

“Ugh, whatever. What did you buy?” You mumble, rustling through the bags.

“Lamb skewers and Jin made dumplings.” Yoongi finishes, grabbing his jacket and getting up. “Okay kids, I’m leaving for real this time. Thank you again.”

“Bye Yoongi!” You smile, waving goodbye as your little fake angry front falls.

“Bye Hyung!” Jungkook calls, Yoongi waving goodbye as he enters the elevator. You turn to Jungkook immediately, a questioning eyebrow-raising.

“Hyung?”

“He said it would be ok if I called him Hyung?”

“Oh, he likes you then.” You smile, even more, excited as your ‘don’t let Jungkook quit’ mission was going perfect. Usually, he’s more formal and work-related, getting angry one time as he was addressed informally more than one time, firing the person immediately. “Let’s eat and get out of here, Jin’s dumplings are gonna blow your socks off.”

You guys eat partially at your desk and partially as you walk down to the garage, wanting to leave but not quite finished with the food. It’s good, you’re not going to lie, but is it worth the embarrassment of Yoongi replaying you running for your life? No, no it’s not. You quickly understand that Jungkook is going to be a long-term addition to the office, as Yoongi has also become fond of the boy within a short time.

_--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--_

It’s very interesting working with Jungkook and Yoongi on a day-to-day basis. Now that you’re all comfortable, it’s like working with your brothers, dad, grandpa, and crush all shoved into one. There are some days where you bicker relentlessly, and then the next you come in not feeling good and they’re concerned and taking your temperature 20 times. It’s unfamiliar, but it’s also something that you wouldn’t trade for the world. Namjoon has also infiltrated your little group, not that anyone’s complaining. You all like his company and Jungkook genuinely thinks he’s the coolest person to ever step foot on earth.

As more time passes, you realize Jungkook means a lot more to you than you ever wanted him to. One time, he called out of work at the last minute and it made you bitter all day. Yoongi teased the hell out of you for it, showing no mercy.

“Aw, are you missing your big strong protector? All sad because he’s not here?” He asked, chuckling as he frowned at you.

“Yoongi, how do you act when Namjoon isn’t here?” You smile, watching his face fall as you catch him right in the middle. You faked frowned just as he had been doing, causing the both of you to laugh at each other. “That’s what I thought.”

Despite that, you and Jungkook have remained close friends that sometimes go out to dinner together. And sometimes have sleepovers. And sometimes sneak out of work to get vending machine snacks. And sometimes go grocery shopping together. But that’s all besides the point.

It’s been a couple of months since Jungkook joined, and as far as you could tell he’s become a part of the atmosphere. As summer slowly approaches, Yoongi begins his annual “complain about the business party” for a week straight. Admittedly, you’ve gone once and it was the most insufferable thing ever. It’s a bunch of older businessmen in the same profession as Yoongi’s, all communicating and trying to swindle each other for an unfair deal. Yoongi or Namjoon are usually the youngest ones, but Namjoon has bailed in recent years.

Your favorite excuse was he had to trim his bonsai tree otherwise it would die in 3 hours.

It was a normal day, everyone working on their respective assignments. “Hey Y/N, are you going to the business party thing that Yoongi has been talking about recently?” Jungkook casually asks, sitting in one of the waiting room chairs. “He said I should ask you about it.”

“Oh trust me, Kook, you’re not missing out on anything. It’s super boring.” You whine, sounding more and more like Yoongi as the date draws closer. “But yes, I suppose me and Yoongi will be attending.”

“Can I come?” He asks quickly, shooting it out there.

“I promise, it’s not anything exciting-“

“I want to go with you. Yoongi said he usually has to leave you by yourself to talk to people.” He smiles, fidgeting with his fingers as he finishes his little speech. “So I thought if I went, I can just sit with you and keep you company.”

“Did Yoongi tell you about the alcohol bar?”

“.....maybe.”

The day approaches too quickly for your liking, having to find a fancy dress that you wouldn’t bust open if sitting. You had settled on a silky, deep red dress that grazed the floor. One side had a slit up to your mid-thigh, only ever showing when you walked. When you arrived at the venue, Jungkook was waiting outside of the entrance. You had suggested that match his tie to your dress (as a joke) and he became deadly serious about it.

“Jungkook!” You smile, waving at him as you walk up. He was busy scrolling through his phone before, but you’ve caught his attention. His eyes scan the dress up and down multiple times, mouth opening as if he wants to say something but can’t find the words. You can’t help but laugh at him, looking down and moving around the fabric to reveal your leg. “You like it?”

“Uhm, yeah. Yeah, that color looks really good on you. And so does your jewelry. It matches so well….wow.” He stumbles, causing you to laugh even more than before. While he knew the color, you refused to show him the dress, claiming it needed to be a surprise.

“What about you? You look really good too! Buttons all popped open like the sexiest man alive” His tie is looser than how he wears it at work, a couple of buttons popped open as well as his sleeves neatly rolled up. Just under the sleeve, you can see a tattoo poking out. You adjust it for him, making sure he doesn’t get any backlash from the art that adorns his body. You giggle, taking his arm and guiding him in.

Yoongi was already here, mingling with the other business partners. At the first sight of it, you and Jungkook darted over to the alcohol while giggling at each other. This is the sole reason you’re here. “Shh, we can’t embarrass Yoongi. Look sophisticated.” Jungkook scolded, straightening his back and walking slowly. He looks dumb, causing you to laugh more.

“That look doesn’t fit you well, Kook.” You chuckle, punching his arm. You both get cocktails, picking a table in the back, but also close to the bar for drinks once you run out. As Yoongi mingled, you began to talk to Jungkook about how ridiculous designer shoe prices are. You owned a singular pair, which you bought with your first paycheck on impulse.

You were interrupted by a voice you’ve heard before, but you couldn’t quite place it. “Hello gorgeous, would you care to have a drink with me?” He smugly said, a smirk painting his face. He’s had a meeting with Yoongi once, he’s the guy you had to stay late for.

“Mr. Park?! Right?” You smile, “It’s great to see you again. I’ll have to pass this round, I haven't finished my first one.” You say, showing him your glass that was still half full. The air was awkward and for a brief moment, you can see his gaze flick over to where Jungkook sat next to you.

“And you are?” Park Jimin asks, a smile filling his entire face. It’s not sincere, it’s painfully mocking. Jungkook straightens in his chair as he prepares an answer.

“Y/N’s date for the night.” Jungkook smiles, making you choke back your drink. You know Jimin won’t take that as a final answer, and you’re proven right as you catch his mouth falling open once again.

“You’re the assistant, am I right? Would you mind ordering me a shot over there?” He’s pushing Jungkook’s buttons, that’s clear and it’s well calculated. Jungkook glares back up at him, at a loss for what to say as his pride crumbles. He can’t find a way to retaliate.

“I was just craving a shot,” you smile, getting up and taking Jimin's arm, leading him away from a furious and hot-faced Jungkook. Jimin won once again, getting exactly what he wanted as you took a shot with him, clinking the small glasses together before throwing it back. Jungkook watches in disgust. “So, have you talked to Yoongi again tonight?” You ask, remembering the meeting they had earlier this week.

“Not yet, but I was thinking we should have a meeting.” He smiles, sipping on whatever drink he ordered in the meantime. “How much is he paying you?” He asks, referring to Yoongi.

“Uhm, around $30 an hour?” You shrug, which is a lot, especially for a desk receptionist.

“I’ll double it if you come to work for me.” He proudly declares, sliding you a business card. “And I know I know, you have to think about it. But I can do so much more for you. And your little boy toy over there, I’ll be so much better than him.” He whispers in your ear, grazing a hand along your cheek before making his departure. “I’ll see you around, doll face.”

The pet name makes your skin crawl and your face hot, anger bubbling to the surface. As you watch him leave, he’s making his way to Jungkook to add some sort of snarky remark. You can’t hear it, but whatever it is it makes him angry as he grips his glass. Rubbing your temples, you take 2 more shots before making your way back. “What did he tell you, Jungkook?” You ask, Jimin is nowhere to be seen.

“He said he’d pay me double if I worked as his janitor.” He seethed, teeth gritted and jaw tense. “What about you?”

“The same thing but as a desk receptionist.” You shrug, deciding to leave out the rest of what he said. If you included the rest, there would surely be a fistfight taking place. You and Jungkook continued to drink together, the air still tense as if you were the one who insulted him. “What else did he tell you? Why are you angry at me?” You finally ask.

“He said you asked for his number and you’re meeting up later tonight.” He gritted, causing you to laugh out loud. “He’s got a lot of balls, I’ll give him that.”

“Do you believe that?” You hummed, leaning forward. Jungkook was resting his elbows on the table, leaning forward. When he glanced over, your two faces were too close for comfort but it was too interesting to pull away. “He also told me he’d be better to me than my little boy toy, which is you.” You giggle, pushing your empty glass away from you. You can’t help but study Jungkook’s face as he processes the new information.

“Boy toy?” He mumbles, scoffing at nothing in particular. The air is still tense, but as you stare at each other this close, it’s different. It’s a game of cat and mouse at this point and you’re trying to decide who’s gonna go in first.

“Are you jealous?” You giggle again, watching his brows scrunch. “Do you think I’ll ditch you for him?” This switches something in him, not necessarily anger but a sense of need. Like he needed something so incredibly badly he can’t take it. “He’s on his way back over here, walking behind you. Your move, Jeon.” You smile, knowing exactly what move comes next.

Jimin is slowly making his way over, hands in pockets and he struts over to antagonize you some more. While the promise of 2x the pay sounds exciting, you could never work for him. Not with how he treats you or Jungkook, it’s too informal and disrespectful.

“Coming closer, and closer, and closer.” You sigh, as Jungkook is still debating on the next move. He’s conflicted, but you know you’re both thinking the same thing. “Just kiss me.” You hum, and he does with no hesitation. His lips quickly press against yours, soft and smooth. He tastes like his cocktail mixed with coconut Chapstick, radiating heat as his hand falls onto your neck to pull you closer.

You lean into the kiss voluntarily, a small smile overcoming your face with the double win you just scored. You peel your eyes open for a brief moment, just to catch Jimin's expression. You refrain from laughing, instead, kissing Jungkook back harder than before, nibbling on his lower lip playfully.

You pull away once Jimin leaves completely, a dumb smile taking over your entire face as you stare back at Jungkook. His Bambi eyes are widened and sparkly, want overtaking his face as he stares back at you. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” Jungkook almost whispers, despite no one being around you two. “For so long, but I didn’t want to scare you.” He whines.

“I’ve been dying to eat you up since day 1,” you admit, watching him almost whimper at your comment. “Come on, let’s get out of here. Yoongi won’t care.” You smile, getting up from your table and making your way to the exit without being spotted. Hell, even if Yoongi did, he's out of luck with the way Jungkook whines when you call him a pet name.

“Did you drive here?” You ask, to which he shakes his head no. You know he was going to carpool with Yoongi, but you honestly didn’t know if that was a joke or not. Yoongi will more than likely realize you two left early, he’s not clueless. “Perfect.”

You drove to your apartment, running to the elevator while giggling together like little kids. “Are you drunk?” Jungkook asks, seemingly sobering up as you reach your floor. He’s so kind and sweet, staring at you with the most genuine eyes as he awaits a question.

“Just a bit warm from the drinks, but nowhere near impaired, baby. I know what you’re worried about.” You smile, cupping his cheek. “How about you?” His face is warmer than normal. You're snuggled together in the elevator, hands resting on his back as you hug him close to your body.

“I’m not drunk,” he smiles, leaning down to peck your lips as the elevator dings. You easily unlock your apartment, dragging Jungkook in behind you and tossing your belongings onto the table by the door.

“You never answered me, by the way.” You hum, kissing the nape of his neck as you wrap your arms around his torso.

“Huh? What question?” He whines, becoming putty in your hands. He’s so cute like this, whiny and wanting nothing more than you.

“Are you jealous? Of Park Jimin?” You smile, sucking a light pink spot where you were previously kissing.

“When he said you were meeting up later tonight, yes. Yes absolutely.” He explains, looking down to meet your eyes. He places a sweet kiss on your lips, easily turning as you wrap your arms around his neck. Even with heels, Jungkook is slightly bent over as he kisses you. You can still taste the alcohol on his lips, lips molding together.

“My sweet baby boy is jealous over a man like him.” You mumble, a teasing tone seeping from your lips as you slowly guide him to your room. Surprisingly, you topple over first, Jungkook pinning you under his arms.

“Noona, please.” He mumbles, allowing his hands to roam all over. For a brief moment, they halt as he traces your thigh, revealed by the slit in your dress. Slowly, he slides it up your hip, hiking your dress further up your waist. “I love how you look in this dress, but I want it off.” He mumbles against your lips, easily finding the zipper on your back.

Goosebumps spring up all across your skin as he slowly drags it down, fingers grazing your warm skin. He helps you shimmy out of it, tossing it with little to no care onto the floor. “You look so fucking good,” Jungkook mumbles, pulling away and sitting on his knees, allowing your legs to wrap around his waist. Your heels clink together, but you can tell Jungkook likes them too much to deal with the small buckle.

“No fair,” you giggle, sitting up and helping him shed his jacket. You popped each button open one by one, kissing the expanse of his chest as you made your way down. That along with the tie was thrown off the bed, golden skin on full display. One arm was decorated in tattoos, all the way up to his shoulder blade. “Mmm, baby,” you hum, sucking a deep red spot below his jaw.

“I want to make you feel good, noona. I want to please you.” He whines out loud, hands caressing every patch of skin he could reach. He easily lays you down, interlocking your fingers with his as he grinds your hips together unconsciously. He’s focused on kissing you like there's no tomorrow as if he’d been starved of this his entire life. A small moan leaves your mouth, quickly swallowed by him. Breaking the kiss, he begins to pepper hot kisses all down your chest, leaving light red marks here and there.

Easily, he helps you out of your bra, a small whine falling from his lips. “Such pretty tits, noona.” He mumbles, taking a bud into his mouth while capturing the other in between his fingers. You arch up into him, soft moans falling past your lips. As his fingertips meet the edge of your panties, he glances up for any sign of disapproval or discomfort. You nod, allowing him to easily slip the lace down your legs and off the bed.

“So, so pretty.” He hums, placing an open-mouth kiss on your inner thigh. ”Such a pretty pussy,” He’s moved to laying down flat on his stomach, arms wrapping around both of your thighs to hold you firmly in place.

“Kook, please- OH,” you cry, tongue beginning to lap happily at your folds. His tongue circles your clit, mixing both slow licks with fast circles sent you reeling. Your back arched up, hands tangled in his hair as his eyes looked up attentively. Jungkook easily slid one finger in, pausing to gauge your reaction.

“So wet, just for me. This sopping wet cunt just from kissing on you.” He teases, beginning to slowly fuck you with his finger. He easily slides another in, stretching you out with ease. His fingertips brush your g spot with each thrust, and he seems to know it. He’s smirking up at you, continuing to fuck you while eating your out at the same time.

“Kook, it’s so good.” You moan, gripping his hair in between your fist. “Right there, right- yes!!” You cry as he targets that specific spot, picking up his pace. The noise of moans fills the room as he targets the same spot, tongue-creating circles on your clit faster than ever. He’s determined now, watching your back arch and face contort as you moan his name. “I’m gonna cum, Kook. I’m- oh fuck-“ you cry, grabbing the sheets with white knuckles. “C-coming.” You whimpered, hips bucking slightly as he fucked you through your high.

He hastily makes his way back up, smashing your lips together rougher than before. The kiss is wet, rushed, and sloppy but it makes your cunt ache with even more want. You can taste yourself on his tongue, chin slick with a mixture of arousal and spit. “You did so well.” You moaned into his mouth, straddling his hips as you moved him onto his back. Without breaking the kiss, you unbutton his pants, allowing the zipper to easily slide open. Jungkook helps, lifting his hips and allowing you to tug them down his legs.

“You look so, so good.” You whimper, unconsciously dry humping his clothed dick. There was no doubt you were wetting his boxers, but he didn’t seem to care. “I need you, baby, I’m going to ride you, ok?”

“Yes, yes please.” Jungkook moans into your neck, allowing you to take off his boxers and drag your nails along his thighs. He’s bigger than you expected, much bigger in fact. He quickly notices the situation, “It’s ok, take your time.” He smiles, which would normally be teasing. However, this time he genuinely means it, gripping your hips and slowly grinding against you. He’s sensitive, back arching as you experimentally pinched his nipples in between two fingers. A loud whimper filled the room, making you gush.

“God, what did I do to deserve you?” You hummed, slowly stroking his dick as you watched his face react to each touch you gave him. You can’t take it anymore, lifting your hips and lining his dick up with your entrance. Jungkook watched, entranced, as inch by inch slowly disappeared. After bottoming out, you swear you could cum again on the spot, his dick filling every possible inch. His tip is nestled against your g spot, making your legs shake as you begin to bounce slowly. As you gain speed, Jungkook slowly begins bucking his hips up to meet yours. Loud, wet slapping filled the room from the force, moans slipping from both of you.

Jungkook’s hair sticks to his forehead, eyebrows furrowed and lips swollen from biting down. His entire chest is a flushed red, your hands placed on his abdomen to give you more stability. “Fuck, Kook.” You moan, dragging your nails across his sides. He’s fucked out, body warm, and face the epitome of sin.

“I’m close, I’m close. Please let me cum!” He whines, bucking his hips up at a faster pace.

“Already?? Hmmm.” You whine. “Go ahead, cum in my pussy.” You mumble into his ear, earning you a loud cry as he grips your hips, slamming up with as much force as he could manage. Your name falls from his lips like a mantra, hips slowing as he comes down from his high. “How sad, I guess I'll have to finish myself now.” You faked disappointment, causing him to jump up immediately.

“No, no I got it. I’ll make you cum all over my cock,” Jungkook whimpers, already sporting a half hard-on from the thought of fucking you again. He’s rough, he has something to prove once again. He easily catches your lips, flipping the two of you as he takes his place in between your legs. He’s more determined than ever, gripping your legs and placing them over his shoulders, high heels resting just behind his head. His weight rests on his hands on either side of your body, a sly smile on his face as he buries himself deeper than before.

Your mouth falls open in a loud moan as he picks up his pace, snapping his hips with enough force to slowly inch you up the bed. “So good, right there-“ you whine underneath him, gripping his biceps in an attempt to stay still. You can’t see his face, but you’re able to vividly imagine it. His lips are most likely caught between his lips, eyes squinted as he’s focused, hair stuck to his forehead. “Please- kiss me.” You mumble, legs falling onto his arms to allow him to lean down.

He quickly meets your request, leaning down to smash his lips onto yours. His thrusts cease, now slowly grinding into you as he kisses you with as much passion as possible. With him leaning over, his abdomen brushes your clit as he continues to fuck into you. “Kook, it’s ugh-“ you moan into him, hips bucking to meet him.

“I know baby, I know. I’ve got you.” He smiles, confidence growing as you grip onto his shoulders. You're light-headed, but in a good way as you drag your nails down his back. Resting on his palms again, he slowly drags out before completely filling you up with a sharp snap of his hips, making your toes curl and mouth fall open. His pace picks up once again, eyebrows furrowed as he watches himself disappear inside of you. “Fuck, so good to me. Always so good to me.” He mumbles, easily twisting a nipple in between his fingers.

“I’m close, please- I want to come.” You cry, tears filling your eyes as you feel your stomach tighten. Jungkook smiles, catching your hands and pinning them down above your head. You arch up into him, chests pressed together as he fucks into you like no tomorrow. Lewd slapping fills the room mixed with your moans, Jungkook softly moaning your name into your ear.

“Do I make you feel good, noona? Are you going to cum all over my cock?” He whispers, breath hot against your skin. His words make you clench around him, sending you closer to the edge you were currently teetering on. “I’m not going to touch your clit, I want to make you cum from just my dick. Do you think you can do that?” He hums, punctuating his sentence with harsh snaps into you.

“Yes, yes please.” You moan, bucking your hips to meet him in need. “I’m gonna- cum-“ you whine, the spring finally snapping. Slamming your eyes shut, Jungkook easily fucks you through your high, kissing your neck to help you come down.

“I’m going to cum inside of this pussy, all mine.” He moans, snapping his hips as he chases his own high. You clench around him, orgasm still racking your body as he overstimulates you. Jungkook comes soon after, burying himself to the hilt as he grabs your hips in place. There's for sure going to be little bruises, his grip possessive as he holds you still. “Hm, thank you noona.” He smiles, moving to kiss you again.

This kiss is different, it’s slow and careful. It’s soft as he holds your waist in one hand and your cheek in the other. Your eyes easily flutter shut, hands resting on his sides. He’s careful as he kisses you as if you’ll break if he moves too roughly.

“I’ll get tissues, don’t move.” He instructs, pecking your lips before making his departure. It’s cold without him, but he comes in soon after and carefully cleans you up. He also gently takes off your heels now, allowing them to fall off the bed. There's a pause of awkward silence as the tissues hit the trash bin, neither of you knowing what to say. “Well, what now?” He mumbles.

“...you spend the night stupid.” You laugh, reaching up and grabbing him by his neck, pulling him down onto the bed. You hum as you nuzzle your face into his neck. His arms wrapped around your body in a protective blanket. “I hope this doesn’t change anything between us, negatively I mean.” You smile, looking up to read his expression. It’s a mix of happy, content, and tired as he smiles back at you.

“Y/N...will you be my girlfriend?” He asks, causing you to burst into laughter.

“Well thank god you caught on.” You smile, kissing him once more. You can feel him shuffle, knee sliding in between your legs and against your cunt. “...Kook.” It's both a warning and a questioning statement, but as you watch his face turn into a shit-eating grin, you already know where this is going.

“Please babe, you’re so cute when you’re needy.” He mumbles, kissing your neck. His hands snake around your hips, encouraging them to grind on his thigh. For a brief moment, you forgot Jungkook is in fact, a horny 23-year-old man. You giggle, because how could you say no to him?

“We’re not going to be getting much sleep tonight, are we?” You smile.

“Of course not.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

_--__--__--__--__--__--__--__bonus lol--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--_

“Kook,” you mumble, eyes groggy as you peel them open just slightly. The room is extremely bright, blinds drawn shut but light still leaking through. Jungkook is pressed flush against your back, light snores bouncing off of your skin. His complete dead weight is heavy as you struggle to flip over to face him.

It's a mission and half just to flip over, Jungkook is still dead asleep. It takes a lot to pull him out of his slumber once he’s completely out, and you don’t care enough to try right now. From where you lay, you can see the freckle that sits just underneath his lips, a soft smile spreading across your face. He's so cute, lips parted slightly as he snoozes.

“Kooookkkk,” you mumble, scooting up to place a small kiss on his lips. He stirs for a brief moment before going back to sleep. “Wake up, it’s already almost noon,” you complain, wrapping your arms around his torso to rub circles on his back. You graze your nails now and then, allowing your eyes to close and you do so. He'll more than likely wake up soon.

You're proven right as he stirs awake, humming slightly as he pulls you even closer to his chest. “how are you feeling?” he asks, voice considerably deeper and husky from just waking up. You’ve had sleepovers, sure, but you’ve never heard him like this.

“Good, sore, but good,” you answer, slowly opening your eyes to see if he was fully awake. His eyes remain closed as he talks, something that adds to his cute factor.

“Noona, I hate to tell you this, but-“ his tone is playful as he starts.

“I already know, you’re quite literally pressed against my stomach.” you scold, knowing full well he was going to talk about the morning wood he’s currently wearing with unprecedented pride.

“It’s okay, I’ll deal with it later.” he hums, still holding you close to him. You know he understands you’re tired and sore, but you just can’t help but enjoy pleasing him. You slip out of his grasp, looking for the tie that Jungkook was wearing the previous night. At your leave, Jungkook flips onto his back and sprawls out as if he owns the place.

“What if...I want to help you?” you ask, easily climbing onto his lap. There's a blanket separating the two of you, but regardless you can still feel every inch of him, you hid the tie on the bed, for now, allowing your hands to catch his as you lean in for a kiss. You easily pull his hands up to the bed, tying them to your headboard. “And...done!” you smile, admiring your work.

“What's this about?” he teases, experimenting as he attempts to pull his arms down.

“If there's one thing I learned, Jeon, is that you love to be touchy. But not today!” you giggle, beginning to slowly pull the blanket off of his body. He's even harder now, hums falling past his lips as you run your hands up and down his sculpted body. “You just get to watch.” At this, he groans, throwing his head back.

“Come on, I’ll be good-“ you cut him off with a sloppy kiss, quickly molding your lips together as you grip his hair. That's another thing you’ve learned, he’s a sucker for soft scratches and hair-pulling. So as you slowly pull his hair while kissing him, and grind your hips down onto him he’s already whining into your mouth.

“Relax, I'll take really good care of you, baby.” you smile, breaking the kiss and peppering kisses all down his body. You take your time to leave marks, purple scattered here and there. “So sensitive,” you comment, lightly swirling his nipple with your tongue. He shamelessly arches into you, a small moan falling from his lips.

You’re kneeling in between his knees as you get to his hips, sucking a deep purple hickey into his clear vline. “Noona, please touch me-“ he mumbles, eyes fixated on yours as he watches your every move. From his point of view, he can easily see your face as well as the swell of your ass as you lower to kiss his skin.

“Well, since you ask so politely, Kookie.” you smile, wrapping your palm around the base of his cock. You smile slightly, sticking your tongue out to lick a long, wet strip from his base to his tip, swirling your tongue around the top. His eyes are locked on yours, lip caught in between his teeth as he waits for your next move. You take him into your mouth, sinking as much as possible. So far, you can only reach less than half before gagging. This once again boosts his pride.

“So good- your mouth feels so warm,” he whines out loud, hands formed into fists above his head. You take this encouragement to heart, sinking and trying to reach more. With each bob of your head, you take more and more, Jungkook watching in amazement. Your hands sit flat on his abdomen as you take him into your mouth, sinking completely down as your nose brushes his stomach.

Jungkook could come on the spot, a loud moan echoing throughout the room as you look up at him from that exact spot, eyes watery but satisfied. “Noona, you’re so good to me. You feel so good.” his hips buck up just slightly and you let him, whining like no tomorrow as he slowly fucks your face. With a small pinch of his thigh, you signal that he can go faster as you slowly accommodate his size.

Fighting off your gag reflex, you watch his face contort into pleasure as he fights to keep his eyes open. He wants to watch you swallow him so bad, but it just feels too good. His abs flex and twitch with every swirl of your tongue, a subtle indicator that he likes it. “Please let me cum. please!” he whines, hips bucking faster than before.

You can only nod slightly, a high pitch whine falling out as he bucks deep into your throat, burying himself as deep as possible as he comes. You can feel his dick twitch on your tongue, his legs shaking slightly as he releases into your throat. While you swallow most of it, there’s still a little bit in your mouth.

He's still coming down from his high when you climb back up, straddling his torso and beginning to kiss him. He greedily takes anything you give him, tasting his own cum (probably not for the first time) as you kiss him. “Swallow it.” is all you mumble, pinching his mouth shut as he debates on what to do. He follows your order, Addams apple bobbing. “Good boy,” you praise, earning a groan as you peck his lips.

A brilliant idea passes you, your bedside drawer swinging open as you retrieve something. It's an eye mask that you use for naps during the day, essentially serving as a blindfold. “No fair!” Jungkook complains, knowing exactly who’s head that’s going on.

“It’ll make you more sensitive, it’ll be fun.” you smile, easily slipping it over his eyes. For someone who was just complaining, he made the process easy as pie by lifting his head for you. “So much fun!” He’s upset but only as upset as one can be with a naked girl sitting on top of you.

“Are you going to ride me?”

“Yep!”

“And I don’t get to watch your tits bounce?!!” he cries.

“Not at all.”

He faked a cry, making you giggle slightly. You’re slick with arousal, just kissing and hearing Jungkook moan was enough to fire you up. It takes no problem to lift yourself onto your feet, lining his dick up to your entrance. He's still just as big, stretching you out and filling up every inch of your pussy.

There's a small moan from both of you as you bottom out, Jungkook completely nestled inside of you. “You feel so good, kook.” you praise, placing your hands on his abs as you begin to bounce up and then slam back down with as much force as you could muster. Your legs are shaking from pleasure, each thrust nailing exactly where you need him. “This big cock just for me to ride on.” you moan, scratching along his abs lightly to get a reaction.

“Just for you,” he answers, snapping his hips up to emphasize his point. He begins fucking up into you, just enough to where the strain in your thighs is more bearable. “I want to touch you, see you, feel you!” he whines, biceps flexing as he pulls against his restraints. “I want to see your pussy take me all in.”

He’s desperate, more than you’ve ever seen him. He’s pleading to be freed of his restraints, getting a simple “No, you look cute,” each time he asks. He continues to fuck into you, feet placed flat on the bed to drill into you with ease. “Faster, Kook,” you instruct, his hips immediately snapping faster and harder into you. “ I'm gonna cum all over your pretty cock,” you smirk, clenching around him as your high quickly approaches.

Jungkook easily takes you there, orgasm hitting you like a wave as your legs nearly give out. He slows his pace, fucking you through it and milking it for as long as possible. You’re tighter around him, clenching unconsciously as he slowly picks up his pace. “Can I come?” he whines into your ear, his moans clouding your thoughts.

“Yes, cum baby. As deep as you can,” you coo, slamming your hips down to get him to his high faster than he already was. It catches him off guard, as he could feel it building but he didn’t expect it to be so soon. With a final thrust, he buries himself as deep as possible, tip nestled right above your cervix but not hurting you. His cock twitches as he comes, hips grinding together to milk every last drop.

“I love you-“ his mouth immediately snaps shut at the realization, lips forming a thin line. “too soon…”

“I love you too, kook.” you giggle, undoing his restraints. He's like a new person freed from lifelong bonds, hands immediately groping every inch of skin possible.

“By the way, Namjoon owes Yoongi $50.”

“What...are you talking about?”

“They placed bets on it months back.”

“Isn’t this weird to talk about when you’re balls deep??”

“Now, we’ve placed all the male roles into one hat and the female roles in another hat. My TA’s will be coming around and you will be selecting your roles at random. No switching, I’ll know if you do. Rina, Jin, please pass out the roles and take yours as well,” Mrs. Abernathy announced.

“Who do you want to get?” Taehyung asked as everyone began selecting their roles.

“Probably Lady Capulet or someone like that. There aren’t that many large roles, for females anyways. I’d die if I was Nurse or someone like that,” you joked.

“I’d like to be Mercutio or Benvolio, one of the Montagues,” Taehyung mused. You nodded in agreement. Taehyung would suit either role he suggested. He had a very youthful air to him on stage, perhaps he would fit Mercutio the best.

When the last of the characters were being passed out, a large bang came from the door. Mrs. Abernathy rolled her eyes and stood from the front of the stage to the doors. The push handle clanged awkwardly as the aged wood revealed Jeon Jungkook. Resident fuck boy and religious party goer.

He actually showed up today, imagine that. Perhaps the idea of failing the class finally sunk into his thick, coconut skull.

“Dude looks like he had sex with a tornado,” Taehyung commented as he took his role from the hat.

“The bigger University on the other side of town had a massive party last night, what else did you expect from the Jeon Jungkook?” you teased. Taehyung snickered and Jungkook gave a lazy smile to Mrs. Abernathy as he no doubt tried to charm his way out of another knock to his participation grade.

“Dude! I got Benvolio, sick,” Taehyung smiled brightly.

“That’s awesome, you’re gonna do amazing,” you grinned, smacking his shoulder.

“Y/N, you have to pick a name,” Rina said, holding the hat out to you.

“Well there’s only one piece left so, let’s hope for the best,” you said, reaching your hand in.

Jin had made his way over to Jungkook and held out the scrap of paper towards him. “It’s your role,” he explained.

“Role for what?”

You scoffed and Jungkook turned his attention to you.

“Our final grade. We have to put on a performance of the Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet,” you chastised.

“Oh shit, that blows,” he announced. A few classmates laughed, but most just remained silent.

“Mr. Jeon, you’ve already disrupted us with your tardiness. Snide remarks aside, why don’t you tell the class who you’ll be portraying?”

Jungkook took the paper Jin handed to him and he unraveled it slowly.

You were going to laugh if it said Peter or Tybalt. Both roles suited him perfectly.

“The role, Mr. Jeon?”

“Romeo Montague,” he said.

The whole room went deathly quiet.

“Are you fucking kidding me? A part of our grade rests on that fucker?” Taehyung whispered to you.

“I feel bad for the girl who has to play Juliet,” you said. Taehyung nodded in agreement.

“Well congratulations, Mr. Jeon. You have the honor of playing one of our famous star crossed lovers. Would the young lady portraying Juliet please raise her hand?” Mrs. Abernathy scanned the crowd. You were otherwise preoccupied, opening the folded paper with patience.

Juliet Capulet.

“What the fuck?” you exclaimed, standing up in horror.

“Miss Y/N!” You immediately shut up and sat down, biting your lip in embarrassment. The last thing you needed was attention.

“You should raise your hand, you’ve got the leading lady,” Taehyung stated. With a mute nod you raised your hand above your head.

“Disregarding your outburst, I am pleased to know that you are our leading lady, Miss Y/N. Jungkook, she is the best student in this class so I expect you to model yourself after her,” Mrs. Abernathy said.

“You got it,” he said, resting his eyes on you like a lion on a giselle. You bit your lip harder and tried to keep your annoying biological responses at bay.

“I’m so fucked.”

---

The rest of class passed by without much of a problem. Taehyung had to keep you in your seat most of the class, due to the fact you had to have the campus man whore as your partner for this masterpiece. The words of Shakespeare are wasted on him.

As the clock ticked into place, Mrs. Abernathy dismissed you. Taehyung was gathering his things when you saw Jungkook slip out of class unnoticed.

“Oh that sneaky bitch!” you whispered, rushing after him.

You made it into the hall and found Jungkook talking to a girl. She was beautiful, there was no denying that. She smiled so brightly when he spoke to her, you wondered what he could be saying that would make her so happy.

“Jungkook!” you yelled in a girlytone.

The beautiful specimen before him gave you an odd look then back to Jungkook. She gave him a disgusted grimace before stalking away with her perfect looking legs.

“Why did you do that?” he asked as you approached.

“Cause, we’re going to be busy for the next three months working on this performance project. No time to be getting distracted with members of the opposite sex. Or the same sex, whatever floats your boat,” you stated. Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“Look, I appreciate that you’re here cause you want me to succeed or whatever-”

“What the fuck are you smoking?” you asked, giving him a confused expression.

“Huh? Is that not why you’re here? Because you want to help the lost puppy?” he said, gesturing to himself.

You looked at him for a moment before bursting into hysterics. Jungkook looked at you with mild confusion and concern as he watched your form shake with laughter. Tears were welling up in your eyes with how hard you were laughing at his statement.

“Dude, if it wasn’t for all of our grades riding on this performance I would find it tremendously amusing to watch you crash and burn. However, if you had shown up on time, you would’ve heard our grading scale,” you said, wiping some tears away.

“Grading scale? Thought we just had to put on the performance?”

You sighed and shook your head. “Jungkook, if you really think Mrs. Abernathy would roll over and give us our grade on a silver platter then you truly have been smoking the entire semester. We’re graded on cooperation, performance, delivery and dedication. If you fuck up in any part of this, it reflects badly on all of our performance grades. If one leg of the table gets kicked out, then the rest of the legs are weakened,” you said, giving an example for good measure.

“You think I care?”

You were stunned.

“Do you truly think so little of everyone else that our final grades and futures mean nothing to you?” you stated for confirmation.

“Listen babe,” he said, leaning against the pillar. “I’ve got a thousand other things I’d rather be doing than sitting in the library with a bunch of virgins reading Shakespeare,” he announced.

“There’s no way someone could be that cruel. Jeon Jungkook, I want you to prove me wrong. We’re all meeting in the library tomorrow night around eight for a short rehearsal. Taehyung bet me twenty bucks you weren’t going to show,” you said.

“Looks like you’re going to be out twenty bucks,” he said, standing and beginning to walk away.

“H-How could I change your mind?” you asked, hoping that you sounded more confident than you felt. Jungkook’s frame stilled, before turning quickly.

“Change my mind? Oh, well... I guess since I lost my fuck for the night, you could replace her and I’ll be more than happy to show up tomorrow night,” he said, walking closer.

“W-what? Are you serious?” you asked as Jungkook managed to trap you against the very pillar he was leaning against earlier. He eyed you up and down, then looked into your eyes for a moment. Your breath caught and you tried to look away...

However, it was no use. Jungkook was a fuck boy for a reason... He was God damn beautiful to behold. Forget beauty being in the eye of the beholder. Anyone who didn’t think he was a piece of fucking art was blind.

“Maybe not, don’t really like stiff girls in bed,” he said, throwing a wink in for good measure. With that he was away from you and the air seemed to thin. You were panting ever so slightly, which made you even more ashamed.

“You’re truly an asshole Jeon Jungkook... And you haven’t changed at all,” you whispered, turning to walk back into the classroom.

---

Entering the library, Namjoon was the first to greet you as you all congregated around the tabled section of the room.

“Hey guys, have either of you seen Jungkook?” he asked, looking towards the doors. You scoffed and shook your head.

“He was very set in not showing his face here tonight,” you said with a bitter tone.

“Even if all of our grades depend on it?” Namjoon said with an incredulous look on his face.

“And we don’t have understudies, so, we’re genuinely fucked if Romeo doesn’t show up for Romeo and Juliet,” Taehyung groaned.

“Peace dear Benvolio, for we shall await Romeo in his tardiness,” you joked. Taehyung managed to crack a smile before the rest of you went to sit down.

The night dragged on and Jungkook showed no sign of turning up.

Everyone seemed to relax into their roles and reading became rather even, you were feeling rather confident...

Until a certain drunkard disrupted the scene.

“Jullllietttt,” Jungkook’s tipsy tone rang out.

“Ah, come on man,” Jimin said, looking up from his role as Count Paris.

“I’m here to rehearse, y’know, shaking spear or something,” he said, rubbing his eyes.

“Dude he’s fucking wasted,” Namjoon groaned.

“Taehyung, you might want to hold my hands down or get a camera out before I beat his ass,” you growled.

“What was all that talk about peace earlier?” Taehyung questioned as he grabbed your hand.

“Ooooh, look! Juliet!” Jungkook announced, turning to you.

“You might not want to get close to her,” Taehyung warned with a teasing tone.

“But she is my lady and my bride! Do I not have rights to see my beloved?”

Seokjin approached and finally grabbed a hold of Jungkook by the wrist.

“Jungkook, you’re drunk. We need to get you home and in bed before you do something you’ll regret,” he warned. Jungkook simply grinned.

“Do you think I haven’t done enough to regret already? Why do you think I’m drunk?” The room got quiet and Seokjin cleared his throat.

“Come on, Jungkook. Let’s get you home,” Jin said.

“Parting is such sweet sorrow,” Jungkook whispered, looking at you before stumbling out with Jin. The room was deathly quiet. However, everyone soon was over their shock and began to collect their items.

You couldn’t figure out why, but your heart was racing.

* * *

The next morning you found a very hungover Jungkook standing outside of the auditorium. He had sunglasses on and a black hoodie, making him look like the depiction of a My Chemical Romance fan from 2009. You sighed and attempted to walk past him, before his hand snatched your wrist.

“Hey,” he whispered, throat obviously dry from the mass amounts of drinking.

“You sound, smell and look like shit Jeon. What?” you asked, taking your wrist back from the warmth of his palm.

“So, uh... When would the next rehearsal be? S-so I know to avoid it, obviously,” he stated, horribly might you add.

“Jungkook, I honestly don’t know who you think I am but this is the worst attempt at subtlety I’ve ever seen in my life,” you muttered, rubbing your forehead.

“Fine, maybe I want to come and watch you all recite stupid shakespeare to each other for two hours,” he defended.

“I can literally feel my brain cells dying from this conversation, goodbye Jungkook,” you said, going to head into the room when he gripped your shoulder and pushed you against the cafeteria doors, out of sight from the auditorium.

Your heart leapt to your throat as he took off his sunglasses and revealed a deep, purpling bruise that made your stomach shift uncomfortably. Slowly, you lifted your hand to grazed his wounded flesh, before you caught your slight of hand. Brushing it off and pushing him away, you steeled your nerves.

“What the fuck has gotten into you? You’ve barely paid attention to me, any of us for the past four years, why change that now, Jungkook?” you asked, thinking back on his absence in classes and mainly sarcastic comments directed at others than yourself.

“I fucked up,” he whispered, looking down at your feet.

“On what?” you asked, wondering what any of this had to do with you.

“M-My scholarship for this school. If I fuck up another class, then I’m out. Done. Game over. My mom would be devastated if it happened, I can’t... Not to her,” he sighed. “I fucked it up, so I wanna fix it. But I can’t do it alone. My other classes it was a matter of showing up and actually doing shit. But this one, this one requires everyone, and I treated it like a game,” he said.

“You did, so why are you asking for help now? After all that you said to us, do you really think that any of us would help you?” you questioned.

“You always helped people back in highschool... Even if they didn’t deserve it, I remember,” Jungkook announced.

You swallowed thick. He did recall your weakness.

Watching others suffer made you sick. If there was something you could do in your power, it would be done. You never left someone behind, ever. He caught you out.

“I’m not like I was in highschool,” you tried, not even believing your own voice.

“Maybe not entirely, but moral integrity doesn’t change easily,” Jungkook reminded, sounded wiser than usual.

“I-I said-”

“You said it to me, back in the day when I believed I was nothing and treated everyone else like nothing. But I’ve attempted to change. Not that I’ve been wholly successful, but a try is a try right? So, give me a chance. Please, I don’t want to lose the one good thing I have going for me,” he pleaded.

“Jungkook,” you started.

“I’ll give you everything I’ve got, I promise to take it seriously. Just, work with me,” he begged.

“Fine-”

“Yes! Thanks! I’ll see you guys at the next rehearsal-”

“Jungkook!”

You yelled but he was already down the hall and too far away from your voice. You couldn’t help but feel played. He knew your weakness and exploited it to get what he wanted.

No, moral integrity took great effort to change. However, that relies on the person having morals to begin with.

* * *

That night as home, Taehyung sat on your couch eating your Doritos like the motherfucker he was.

“Tae, I don’t recall saying help yourself to my fucking Doritos,” you growled from the small kitchen.

“I recall you being a bitch about your food so I decided to scavenge and found a gold mine. Sorry you’re just now noticing,” he retorted. You frowned at his logic and decided to let it be. If you didn’t the sassy bitch would never forget it.

“Be that way,” you pouted, grabbing your freshly brewed coffee in a cracked mug. But it would have to do, because drinking coffee at 11:30 at night out of a bowl is pretty degrading.

Taehyung had originally come over to help you practice your lines and then do- “help” you with your algebra 2 homework... However, he’d more than likely get frustrated with your lack of understanding and do it for you. At least, that’s what you were banking on.

“Do you think Jungkook will show up on Thursday?” he asked, out of the blue as you sat down next to him.

“I fairly certain he made himself clear,” you stated, the conversation from earlier still not sitting well with you.

“I just can’t believe that someone could be that much of a dick! Like, for real. How many people have fucked him over in his life that he feels the need to fuck this many over now? I wanna kick him in his spleen,” Taehyung declared.

“Spleen huh? Odd place to kick,” you said.

“Bet he couldn’t find his spleen,” he huffed.

“Can you find yours?” you asked. Taehyung whined and shoved your shoulder before laying down on the couch.

“I hope he proves us wrong about him though,” Taehyung whispered, absentmindedly.

“Me too,” you breathed.

* * *

Wednesday night rolled around, you stood at your counter in the library where you volunteered. Honestly, it was free Wifi and putting books away half the time. That wasn’t such a bad gig. However, tonight was especially slow, and your mind was beginning to numb itself.

You hadn’t seen anybody come in the library for the past two hours, as it was reaching the late moments of the night. The time when people curled into their beds and fell into the blissful escape of sleep. Yet, here you were, caffeine fueled delirium sat behind the desk with dark circles that enslaved your features.

Trying to study your lines while keeping yourself awake was proving to be difficult.

Especially when the sounds started. It wasn’t frequent and there didn’t seem to be any kind of rhythm to it, but it was there most definitely.

And it was pissing you off beyond belief.

What made you furious was the next sound.

“Ah, Jungkook!” a girl’s voice mewled from towards the back.

“Shh!” A hurried whisper responded.

Oh that fucking degenerate.

You shoved your desk chair back and stormed towards the nonfiction section. When you arrived, there Jungkook was, his hands down an undergrad skirt and his tongue down her throat. You crossed your arms and stuck your tongue in your cheek out of irritation.

“Excuse me,” you announced yourself. The girl pulled away and looked like a poor deer caught in headlights. Obviously, it wasn’t her idea to get frisky in the library at almost midnight.

“O-Oh! I’m so sorry!” she yelped, bowing her head frantically.

“Sup, Y/N?” Jungkook said, pushing his hair back off his forehead.

“As much as I appreciate the fact that you’re showing the nonfiction books some kind of action, this isn’t what we meant,” you stated.

“Unfortunately we misunderstood,” he quipped.

“B-But-”

“You’re fine, just go home dear,” you said to the panicked younger woman. She nodded before adjusting her skirt and collecting her purse and running out of the library.

“Yet another fuck you’ve lost for me, I’m going to expect reimbursement,” he smirked.

“Oh spare me,” you said, rolling your eyes. “What are you doing in the library with a girl? Thought your scholarships were at risk?” you bit back.

“Two tests today that I aced thanks to that young lady, I was just repaying her for her tutoring skills,” he winked. You resisted the urge to slap him, rubbing your temples to ease the dull ache that was appearing.

“Jungkook, I don’t care what you do in your free time. Dick down all the girls or guys you want, but not in the fucking library,” you growled.

“You just called it a fucking library, don’t give me ideas,” Jungkook warned.

“Listen, if you take furthering your education as a joke then so be it. But a majority of us here don’t, so don’t fuck with other people and pester them. Don’t get them in trouble because of your weird voyeuristic fetish. Get out or actually study something,” you said before turning to walk away.

“Are you available for study?” he tested.

“Depends, can I cut you open and see what happened to the brain in your skull, if it’s still there?” you questioned.

“So feisty, but perhaps I should clarify. I need help with my lines, are you available for study sessions? I recall you saying you’d help me.”

“First, you refused to take responsibility for your role as Romeo, then you exploit a weakness of mine to get what you want, then I catch you in the library attempting to get at it with a lowerclassmen, and now you ask for my help... Honestly, is there a brain in your head or is it just sort of... empty?”

Jungkook chuckled before coming closer, towering over you in an intimidating fashion. You felt fear spike into your throat. What was he doing?

“If you want an apology for my behavior, you can have one. I’m sorry I was a prick and put my wants over the common good, and am now only trying to do right by it because my future was threatened by my actions. However, did I not say I would give it my best shot? I meant that, but you’re helping everyone else but me... That seems a smidge like bias if I’ve ever seen it,” Jungkook tutted.

“Rehearsal is tomorrow night if you want-”

“Not my scene,” he joked softly. “No, I want private lessons from you, Miss Teacher’s Pet. Because you’re the best, and I want the best,” he sighed.

“You’re so fucking egotistical, if you think that statement will make me more willing to aid you, then you have lost your damn mind. No, Jungkook. I’ll help you like everyone else, at practice,” you stated firmly.

He leaned back and sighed, running his hand through his hair.

“What would it take to change your mind?” he offered, raising an eyebrow.

“Jungkook-”

“I’m serious, I’ll give you anything you want if you just tutor me privately,” he said, speaking in earnest.

“Why do you want me to tutor you so bad? Isn’t there a sluttier underclassmen you could seduce to read Romeo and Juliet with you?” you said impatient.

“Nah, I’d get distracted. With you, I know none of my charms work, so it’s easier because then you won’t be begging for me before we’re halfway through an act,” he explained.

“Oh my God-”

“Jungkook is fine,” he teased.

“Fine, if you want me to tutor you privately then so be it. But, in exchange I need your dedication,” you started.

“Deal-”

“Ah ah, you didn’t let me finish Jeon,” you warned.

“You want dedication you’ve got it! Not a problem!” he said.

“No sex, hook ups or parties until the final curtain of our performance. You can have sex with whatever after that. But you are easily distracted by women, booze and overall debauchery. So to curb that, if you want me to tutor you, you’ll follow that rule,” you announced.

Jungkook paled. The sight made you want to laugh. “Y-You’re not serious right? This is just a sick joke,” he asked.

“The only sick joke is the fact you think I’m kidding. I’m serious Jungkook, you’ll only get distracted by all of that. It’s two months,” you soothed.

“My dick will fall off! Can I at least get like blow jobs or something like that?” he pleaded.

“I think I made myself clear,” you stated.

“Jesus fuck, don’t you know how bad that’s gonna suck? Seriously, blue balls will be a worse distraction!” he complained.

“W-well I’m sure you’ll live,” you stated, flushing. Jungkook seemed to examine you closer before breaking into a wide grin.

“Are you a virgin?” he asked, getting closer.

“N-No,” you lied. “And it’s none of your business anyways. Do we have a deal or not?” you asked. Jungkook sighed before nodding.

“You drive a hard bargain, Y/N, but a deal you have. I won’t dick down the campus until after the final curtain. And you’ll tutor me privately?” he said, sticking his hand out. You pushed it away before looking him in the eye.

“I promise.”

* * *

“I can’t believe that you agreed to do something so nice for that fucking asshole,” Taehyung whined as you two walked through the grocery store.

“Because, the guy needs to know what it’s like to work hard for something. Trust me, I’m not going to make it easy for him,” you snarled. “The fucker is going to pay for acting like an entitled piece of shit,” you said.

“But, if you hate his guts so much, don’t you think that’s going to show in your performance?” Taehyung questioned, heading towards the chips. Smacking his hands you shook your head.

“I am an incredible actress thank you very much,” you stated, reaching for the ramyeon packages on the shelves.

“Are you seriously buying more of those sodium bombs? You’re already salty enough as it is,” Taehyung declared.

“Coming from the one who doesn’t pay my rent and doesn’t pay for my groceries and still manages to eat a majority of my food,” you growled. Taehyung bowed his head out of fear then pouted.

“Can you at least get the chicken ones?” he begged.

“Are you kidding? I’m no sadist,” you said, throwing the chicken packages into the cart.

Taehyung seemed appeased.

The rest of the trip seemed to go off without a hitch, until you spotted something that bothered you in the check out line.

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking-” you growled before Taehyung managed to grab your arms.

There was Jeon Jungkook, dressed in his typical playboy-esque button down with almost half the buttons open, a girl at his side and a packet of condoms in his grasp.

“Easy, Y/N, we’re in public and neither of us have the bail money to get you out of jail this month,” Taehyung warned. You ripped your arms away and trudged towards the feminine hygiene section.

This was utter bullshit. Jeon Jungkook looked you dead in the eye and lied to you. Right to your fucking face and here he was getting condoms so he could continue on his escapades while you were supposedly none the wiser! You had a job, you had other things to do than worry about his grades and his life! So why the fuck did he think he had the right to walk all over your kindness?

Gripping the container in your hands you shoved past the people and made your way to the cocky bastard with your point in hand.

“Jeon Jungkook!” you growled, throwing the pregnancy test down at the checkout, along with his condoms.

“Uh hey, Y/N-”

“I expect you to pay for this, since it is your fault,” you said, crossing your arms and watching the face of the other girl turn up in disgust.

“What?!” Jungkook coughed, looking from you to the pregnancy test in shock.

“Don’t what me! This is your fault, so twenty bucks to find out if we’re royally screwed shouldn’t be that big of a deal right?” you continued to tease.

“Y/N, what are you-”

“Are you serious Kook? And here you were so adamant that we had to use protection but another one of your girls might be carrying your kid? What the fuck! Don’t call me again, have a nice fucking life, dickwad,” the pretty brunette stated before heading out of the line.

“Noona-wait!” Jungkook tried but it was too late. Her retreating form made your facade break and you erupted in laughter. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jungkook had the audacity to yelp.

“Excuse you? Oh fuck no, Jeon Jungkook. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Getting closer to him you pushed your finger against his annoyingly toned chest and began your accusations. “I seem to recall our agreement didn’t have any kind of this action happening for you until the final curtain on our performance in two months buster, so care to explain why you're here buying baby repellant?”

“As I recall you pushed away my hand, so I don’t remember us sealing the agreement in any kind of fashion,” he said flippantly, smiling down at you with his cocky grin.

“You’re the worst person alive, Jeon Jungkook. How can you look into someone’s eyes and lie to them? Not only did you force my hand at this, but then when I try to make an agreement, some form of accord between the two of us, you are so quick to agree... However, I understand now that perhaps this whole thing has been a sham. You losing your scholarships, you fearing a disappointed mother-”

“Don’t. Speak. About. My mother,” he warned in a dark voice. You felt his grip on your shoulders as you were shoved back into the cart of an elderly lady behind you.

“Young man! You shouldn’t handle a pregnant woman so roughly!” she accused. Jungkook smiled at you before turning to the older grandmother.

“Might not even be my kid, who knows with this one,” he smirked before tossing the condoms back at you. “Save yourself the trouble next time and use these instead of trying to blame the hot one for all your troubles.”

You stood there in shock as he walked away, flipping you off as he went.

The feeling of tears welling up in your eyes made you so angry. He didn’t have the right to do that to you...

“Oh dear honey, it’ll be alright... A lot of men panic when a baby is thrown into the mix but everything will work out for the better. Just focus on being healthy, okay?” she soothed.

“Should never try to have a child with a child,” you scoffed...

* * *

A few days passed with no word from Jeon Jungkook. Taehyung approached you shortly after the incident and offered his spleen kicking services, which you hastily denied. You went to class and then to work and at no point did you see or think of Jeon Jungkook until you were getting ready to close up the library one night...

It was almost midnight, and you were fighting to stay awake in the silent library. Until a soft cough brought you out of it. You looked up with bleary eyes and saw the same underclassmen that was with Jungkook a few nights back.

“Hi, m-may I please rent this book?” she asked, holding a history of greek mythology book out in front of her. You gave her a tired smile before taking the book gently from her hands.

“Of course, what’s your name?”

“Mina,” she said. You nodded and found her in the system before dating and stamping the book with the proper information.

“Okay I’ll need this back in two weeks. Of course you can always come back and renew the rental period if you need it longer as well,” you said softly.

“I’m sorry!” she yelped, bowing low in front of you.

Confusion swept over your features before you responded. “Uh, for what?”

“For doing inappropriate things in the library with an upperclassmen!” she whimpered.

“Mina?” you asked, wanting her to raise her head.

“Y-yeah?” she said quietly.

“You’re not in trouble, and I don’t think any less of you... Hell I don’t even know you, so who am I to judge you?” you said.

“I-I guess, but I still feel so bad! Jungkook said-”

“There’s your problem, you listened to that idiot,” you scoffed.

“J-Jungkook isn’t a bad guy,” she whispered softly.

“Honey, men like him only want one thing from you and then-”

“He just wants to be loved.”

Her statement took you off guard.

“What? Jungkook wants to be loved? Honey, I don’t want you to misinterpret his attention as affection because it’s not-”

Mina stood up quickly. “I know. He doesn’t like me and only used me as a means to an end. I don’t mind that, because I found something out about Jungkook that he doesn’t let anyone know...” she whispered.

“Then why do you sound like you’re going to tell me?” you questioned.

“Because I feel like you’re the only one who could get through to him... Jungkook has dealt with a lot of shit throughout his life. Some of it undeserving,” she said.

“I know... I knew him in high school,” you declared. Mina got closer, more adamant.

“Then you know what his mother and father did to him right?” she said, a relieved expression on her face. You swallowed thickly.

“No, I don’t. I just know that he gets defensive when you bring up his mother,” you clarified.

“Oh... Well, before his father died Jungkook took beatings for his mother. His father was an angry drunk, the whole cliche. His mother didn’t want to leave him because she knew she couldn’t support Jungkook on her own. So, when his father had a stroke, Jungkook’s mother took his life insurance policy and bought him a train ticket here and five months of rent in his first apartment. She wanted him to accept his scholarships and to get the heck out of dodge, because just because his father was now dead, didn’t mean the other family members wouldn’t come looking for scraps of his insurance and money they owed him in life. So Jungkook is here, and his mother hasn’t been in touch for a few months. But Jungkook promised he wouldn’t be back until he graduated and was the first in his family to do so.”

Your stomach twisted painfully at the memories of Jungkook coming to class late and having bruises on his cheek or a stiff back. He blamed them on practicing too hard and hurting himself... But in reality he was suffering more than anyone could ever know.

“How did you find out?” you asked simply.

“Jungkook got drunk after one of our study sessions and spilled all after a rather heated call from an Uncle he’d met once or twice. Jungkook’s father was an Insurance Broker so, God only knows how much money he had. But money means next to nothing if the holder is abusive and a shit parent,” Mina commented.

“And you think I can do something for him?” you asked. Mina nodded her head furiously.

“You’re the only girl I’ve seen that doesn’t tolerate his attitude, if anything you give him a run for his money. Jungkook admires that in you, and therefore, you have a gap of space in his brain. Somewhere between the booze and the women, sits you... And I’m sure not even he knows why... What I’m trying to say is, Jungkook isn’t what he portrays himself to be... If someone could just take the time to get to know him, the real him, then maybe he’d have a chance at a happier life than the one he’s dead set on having,” Mina explained.

Your heart thudded painfully in your chest. Because you knew she was right. She was absolutely right about Jeon Jungkook...

And you had misjudged him.

* * *

The walk home that night was a silent one. Normally you listen to your favorite music, or listen to a new podcast episode... but tonight was for reflection.

Mina’s words struck a chord within you and now you had a massive mess on your hands. However, with your track record with the boy, reasoning with him wasn’t going to be very easy.

You rounded the corner of your street and smelt something awful.

“Ew, Jesus,” you groaned as you saw a man laying in a pool of vomit, surrounded by beer bottles and various liquors.

The stench was terrible, and you hoped that he would be gone by morning, when a familiar groan came from the body. Your head snapped back to the mass of a man laying on the ground. His hood was pulled all the way up his head, keeping his identity hidden from you. You crouched next to him slowly and pulled the fabric off his head, revealing Jungkook’s form to you.

He was pale, a mess of vomit and snot covering his face.

You bit your lip as you considered your options...

“Hey,” you said gruffly, prodding at his arm with your foot. Jungkook merely groaned and coughed, remaining still otherwise. “Jungkook, get up,” you tried again. However, he was out, completely and utterly wasted and laying in the middle of a sidewalk.

You sighed and rubbed your forehead in frustration. “Why is it that I’m always too nice to you,” you groaned and got down on your knees, pulling his toned frame up off the pavement. You huffed as you discovered that Jungkook was made of pure muscle, possibly some bricks too that were situated in his brain... Anyway, he was entirely too heavy for you to carry on your own.

“Y/N? What are you doing here, and why is Jungkook on the ground?”

By sheer luck and the will of whatever powers that be, Namjoon’s voice trailed through the air.

“Namjoon!” you yelped, dropping Jungkook ungracefully on the ground. He grunted in response, otherwise remaining silent.

“Hey, uh, what’s up?” he asked, putting his hand behind his head.

“Well, I was on my way home and found this mess laying in his own vomit... And, as big of a pain that he is, I can’t sleep tonight knowing I left him here if he needs help... Care to help me carry a drunken college student to my apartment?” you said with a weak smile.

“You’re too kind, you know that? This dick doesn’t really deserve it,” Namjoon stated. You sighed and rubbed your face.

“Maybe not, but everyone needs help every once in a while... And now I might have some leverage over him. If the campus finds out he was drinking and being disorderly, that could get him expelled, which I don’t think he wants,” you reasoned.

“Fair enough, lead the way.”

Heading back over to Jungkook’s mass of muscle you and Namjoon carefully lifted the man up and slung his arms over your shoulders. Namjoon and yourself locking hands and securing him in your grasp to ensure he wouldn’t get hurt.

“Jesus what does this fucker eat! I’ve only seen him drink booze and slam some burgers...” Namjoon groaned as the two of you struggled up the stairs.

“Juuuuuu-eck,” Jungkook mumbled.

“Just hang on a little longer Jungkook,” you eased, patting his hand. It was at times like these where having an apartment on the third floor of a building made you regret your kinder side. However, when you made it onto the landing, not without Jungkook almost causing you and Namjoon to fall backwards more than once, relief flooded your system.

“Holy fucking soccer players, this bitch is heavy,” Namjoon groaned, dragging his feet.

“Juuuu-” Jungkook kept mumbling.

“What do you think he’s trying to say?” Namjoon asked, offhandedly as you fumbled with your keys.

“Who knows,” you sighed, finally unlocking the door to your apartment and ushering Namjoon and Jungkook inside.

Stumbling through the halls of your small abode Namjoon and yourself finally navigated Jungkook to your couch. You groaned and fell onto the floor, rubbing your protesting shoulders.

“Do you think you’ll need help from here or do you got it?” Namjoon asked, rotating his arms in a similar fashion to yours.

“I think I can manage from here, but seriously, thanks so much for helping us,” you said sitting up.

“Us?” Namjoon questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh! No-uh, that’s not what this is! We aren’t, I mean, I’m not. I could never-”

“Easy easy, I was only teasing,” Namjoon chuckled. You sighed and gave him a smile.

“But for real... Thank you, Namjoon,” you stated softly. He gave you a grin before patting your head.

“Don’t mention it, just kick his ass in the morning for being a dick. You think you can handle that?” he teased.

“With pleasure,” you agreed.

Namjoon left and you found yourself alone in your apartment with one of the most infamous sex Gods to ever roam the campus: Jeon Jungkook.

You thought you’d see if he would come to long enough to drink some water. Going to your sink you grabbed a cup and filled it with nice cool water. Adding a pink straw for your own selfish purposes you kneeled next to Jungkook’s sleeping frame.

“Hey, Jungkook,” you said, shaking his shoulder gently.

“Juuuu-u,” he groaned.

“Juuuu,” you teased back softly. “Drink this for me, yeah?” you asked, bringing the straw to his annoyingly beautiful mouth. You managed to poke the straw in between his lips, but Jungkook wasn’t drinking it. You fear that he might start suffering from dehydration and alcohol poisoning if you didn’t do something. And if he did go to the hospital then no doubt he’d be kicked out of school for good.

“God you always manage to be a pain in my ass,” you groaned. So with reluctance you went to your bathroom and grabbed a washcloth and some toothpaste. Coming back you took the toothpaste and squeezed it in his mouth because like hell you were going anywhere near him with alcohol and vomit breath. Jungkook sputtered and the toothpaste managed to get all over his cheek. Quickly cleaning him up and making a solid attempt at brushing his teeth you grabbed the water from the floor and pulled it into your mouth.

‘Here goes nothing,’ you thought to yourself as you leaned down and pressed your lips against his. You poked your tongue against his lips and managed to drop the water into his mouth. Rubbing his throat you got Jungkook to swallow calmly. Your heart eased at the idea of him getting the hydration he desperately needed. So you went in for another mouthful of water. Doing the same sort of dropping method, Jungkook swallowed more water.

You continued the process until the water was completely gone. Jungkook seemed to have regained some of his color too, that fact put you at ease. Moving to the bathroom once more you wet the washcloth and gathered some soap on it and walked out to the living room. Kneeling by his side again you brought the warm cloth to his neck and began wiping away the dried snot and vomit that remained.

Jungkook seemed to be more relaxed, his mumbling having stopped and breathing even. As you cleaned him up you wondered what brought him to the state you found him in. Did a girl do this? Or did something happen? Perhaps he has already been kicked out of school...

Your heart jolted at the thought. But, whatever the case may be at least he was off the street and cleaned up for the night.

Taking the dampened and dirty washcloth to your laundry bin you began getting ready for bed. Changing into your pajamas and washing your face as you hummed to yourself softly. You came out of your bedroom, holding an extra blanket and pillow in your grasp. Heading out to the living room you found Jungkook hadn’t moved. Lifting his head up gingerly you placed the pillow there so that he wouldn’t strain his neck. Then placing the soft blanket over his obviously exhausted self to finish it off. Next you set a bottle of aspirin and another glass of water on the table next to him for when he awoke.

As you headed for your bedroom, Jungkook mumbled again. But this time, you could make it out. “Mom, don’t go.”

* * *

Jungkook’s head was pounding when he peaked his eyes open that morning. His throat was a little sore, but he wasn’t as uncomfortable as he normally was. Usually Jungkook woke up on the floor of a frat house or something along those lines, but right now he found himself on a couch... A particularly comfortable one at that.

Did he sleep over at one of his hookups house on accident?

Fuck.

The smell of waffles made his stomach pinch painfully.

“Hmmhmm,” a voice hummed from the kitchen.

Jungkook swallowed thickly and turned to see medicine and a glass of water sitting on the table beside him. Quickly he popped the tablets in his mouth and drank the entire thing of water in a few gulps. Although, Jungkook wasn’t as thirsty as he normally was when hungover.

Feeling the blanket and pillow Jungkook wondered where the fuck he was. It wasn’t Mina’s place, because there were other girls that lived there and it would certainly be louder there. Wasn’t Seokjin’s place because he wasn’t rudely awakened to the sound of his hyung’s morning escapades...

He looked around and tried to find some sort of context clues to his location, but found none...

“So you’re awake.”

Jungkook jumped and turned his head to find... You...?

“Y/N?” he asked, looking confused.

“Ah, so you don’t remember,” you said, giving a soft smile.

“R-Remember what?” Jungkook asked, feeling his mouth go dry at the sight of you in the morning. Hair falling slightly disheveled but not unpleasantly so. Your face, still a little puffy from sleep. You looked incredible. Not to mention that he could distinctly see you forwent a bra at night.

“That’s a shame, I would’ve liked for you to recall your evening last night,” you smirked. Jungkook looked down at his clothes then back to you. If he’d had sex with you and was too drunk to remember then he’d surely throw himself down some stairs.

Time to put on a show.

“Of course I remember, how could I forget?” he asked, winking. You scoffed.

“Yeah, being covered in your puke and boogers was a pretty hilarious scene to stumble upon,” you grinned. Jungkook went slack jawed. Had he really gotten that drunk?

Holy fucking shit that wasn’t good.

“Uh... Well, you see-”

“Cut the shit Jeon, I can see it on your face you don’t remember squat,” you declared. Jungkook ran his tongue over his teeth in irritation but sighed in defeat.

“You caught me, care to catch me up?” he asked.

“Well, I was on my way home from working at the library, thankfully there were no teenagers trying to get freaky in the philosophy section last night,” you began. Jungkook couldn’t help it.

“Found my next hookup spot then,” he grinned.

“I’ll cut off whatever micro penis you have if you disgrace Zeno and Socrates with that type of debauchery,” you warned.

“At least I’d get your hands on my dick somehow,” he grinned. You gagged and left the room. Jungkook thought he’d scared you off when you came back with a plate.

“Here, eat it,” you said, holding it out for him. Jungkook was shocked to say the least.

“U-Uh, what-”

“Have you never seen a plate of waffles before? I made them for you, so eat them, jerk,” you chastised. Jungkook flushed and took the plate, quickly setting to work on devouring every bite. You set a cup of black coffee on the table and sprinkled something in it before Jungkook spoke up.

“What did you put in the coffee?” he asked, warily.

“Salt numbnuts,” you said.

“Why would you put salt in someone’s coffee?” he asked, raising a disgusted brow.

“Cuts down the bitterness, makes it easier to stomach. That’s why I made you waffles because it’ll help absorb the excess stomach acid you produced last night. You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want it,” you said.

“No no, I, uh... I’ll have it please,” he coughed awkwardly.

You nodded and sat down in the chair across from the couch and watched him eat. Jungkook seemed to be thoroughly enjoying every bite, until it was gone and he set his plate down and chugged his coffee.

“You’ll throw up all my hard work if you do that,” you warned.

“Sorry, it’s good and I’m starving,” he said. You nodded and crossed your legs. Jungkook’s attention immediately went to your legs that were slowly captivating him. The smooth expanse of your skin calling out to him, making him want to touch it.

Fuck, was he still drunk?

“Listen Jungkook, we have a month and a half until opening night and you still don’t know anything about Shakespeare so I think it’d be in your best interest to get on it,” you said, crossing your arms now too. Fuck... Were you trying to kill him?

“I appreciate what you’ve done for me,” he started, like he was going to say something else that proved otherwise.

“Then listen to what I have to say,” you tried. Jungkook huffed but nodded and leaned back against the couch. “Last night you were drunk and disorderly on campus property. Considering your current situation with the board and directors of the college, I think we can help each other out a bit,” you suggested.

“Is this bribery I hear?” Jungkook smiled.

“It’s not bribery, it’s a threat,” you warned. Jungkook’s smile diminished.

“Okay,” he said softly.

“If you don’t give me your best effort as Romeo Montague in the following weeks I’ll report you to the Dean and President of the school and request for your removal from this University,” you said.

Jungkook paled as if he really was going to be sick this time. “What? You’ve got to be kidding, Y/N, do you know what that would do to me?”

“Are you aware that everyone else’s grades depend on you as well? It doesn’t feel so good to be helpless does it?” you said in a cold tone.

“And everyone thinks you are so nice,” he scoffed.

“I put you up last night, cleaned the vomit off of you. Gave you a place to sleep that wasn’t the sidewalk where anyone or anything could’ve happened to you. I fed you... Now, I chose to do all those things for you. Kindness is expressed in many ways and by many different people. I’m not here to lecture you Jungkook. But, I am here to make a point to you. Help us, or you’re fucked. It’s as simple as that,” you stated.

Jungkook rubbed his face and then stared at you. His deep brown eyes were practically ripping into your soul. It made you waver slightly in your strong exterior. Because no matter how incredible of an actress you were, attraction was a fickle beast. You wouldn’t be so ignorant to say you didn’t find Jungkook handsome. His personality made you less aware of his physical beauty at times, but right now... He was stunning.

Hair disheveled and sticking up in a cute manner. His face flushed from sleep and still slightly pale from his sickness. His lips were red and pouty naturally that made you flustered. It brought you back to the night prior when you-

“Fine. You got me, Y/N, I’ll do what you want this time. For real,” he said.

“Your word means nothing to me Jungkook, you’ve screwed me over once. Just know that if you don’t follow through with your end this time... I won’t be ruining your chances with a beautiful woman... I’ll ruin your life,” you said.

The room became heavy and you found that it was your time to leave.

“If you want to take a shower, you’re more than welcome. I have some clothes in there if you want them. My cousin’s old stuff that I’ve used as old pajamas. But you can have them,” you said, beginning to leave the room. “And Jungkook?” you said, turning to him in the doorway.

“What?” he said low, obviously deep in thought.

“I don’t know what made you drink so much last night... But if you ever need some help, you can count on me. I promise.”

With that you left the room, and Jungkook whispered to himself.

“I remember.”

* * *

True to your statement, you met with Jungkook privately in the library. You were curious if he would show up, seeing as how you were certain last time he wouldn’t stand you up.

Although, like a scolded child, Jungkook showed up five minutes early to your scheduled appointment. He threw his bag on the floor and huffed, obviously disappointed he’d have to be here instead of getting frisky with young women. “Alright, I’m here, happy?” He questioned. You smiled simply.

“I’m happy for your sake, yes,” you responded cold.

“Alright, fine. No need to get all pissy, I’m here so, let’s get to work,” he said, sitting down in the chair next to you. You could feel his body heat from where you were seated. It made your heart race, uncomfortably so. Normally you could just ignore Jungkook’s playboy attitude but right now? He was affecting you just by sitting near you!

“Yeah,” you sighed, opening your playbook and handing him one.

“Thanks,” he said offhandedly before opening it. His eyebrows raised. “Why is it highlighted?” he questioned. You flushed pink and realized you did it without thinking.

“Uh, I-wanted to make sure this goes fast so, I highlighted your lines and stage directions for you when I did mine,” you explained. Jungkook raised an eyebrow.

“Why thank you sweetheart, how kind of you to think of me,” he flirted, getting closer.

“Come closer and see what happens, Jeon Jungkook,” you scolded.

“I’m curious to find out-OOF!” he yelped as your elbow hit his stomach. “Oh fuck,” he gasped in pain.

“There, consider your curiosity quenched,” you declared.

Jungkook simply coughed and shook his head. “Fuck dude, not playing with that again. Holy shit, I need my stomach to eat you know,” he whined.

Without lifting your head from your script you responded. “Last I knew you only used it to drink.”

“You give me and my remarks a run for my money, doll,” he smiled.

“It’s not a race if you’ve already lost Jungkook,” you sassed.

“Ooh shit-”

“Anyways, let’s start with your first scene. It’s with Benvolio, who’s played by Taehyung, so I’ll read Benvolio, you read Romeo. Action,” you said. “Good morrow cousin,” you began.

“Is the day so young?” Jungkook asked, sounding bored.

“Jungkook,” you scolded.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I say five words and you’re already stopping me?” he groaned in disbelief.

“Listen, in this scene Romeo-”

“He’s upset because he lost his side chick right?” Jungkook answered, reading ahead.

“What?” you asked incredulously.

“Wait, no...” he paused, reading further. “He really liked this girl... I see,” he concluded.

“How did you...?”

“He says it right here, I have lost myself. I am not Romeo, he is some other where.”

You were speechless. Of course it isn’t difficult to figure out that Romeo is missing someone he loves in this scene... But for Jungkook to pick up on it so quickly, it was rather impressive.

“Since you understand,” you began. “Try acting as if you miss someone you love. Someone that doesn’t want to see you, but you long to see them,” you explained.

“Easy enough,” he mumbled. His words made your heart skip slightly.

Did he miss someone?

“Good morrow cousin,” you stated.

“Is the day so young?” Jungkook repeated, this time, looking wistful and almost lost in thought. It was perfect, and he did it with only one repeat.

What the fuck was this dude’s secret?

You continued on, giving Jungkook subtle hints and letting him figure out the scene for himself. As you discovered, he was actually rather intelligent when he needed to be, and picked up on the intricacies of the Tragedy very fast. You just wanted to work through the first act today, so when you hit scene five, you were ready to call it a night.

“I think four scenes is enough for tonight-”

“This is where our character’s meet,” Jungkook grinned.

“Yes, this is the scene where Romeo and Juliet meet for the first time-”

“Don’t they kiss?” he asked, flipping through the pages.

“Jungkook you’ve done very well today and I’m tired so-”

“There! I say: Then move not while my prayer’s effect I take,” he grinned. “Ooh! We kiss twice in this scene!”

“Jungkook stop,” you rubbed your face.

“Come on, now you’re upset I’m getting into the literature?” he accused.

“You’re not getting into anything, come on, time to go,” you said.

“I won’t kiss you, but like you said. Mrs. Abernathy is one hard bitch, and if we fake it on stage surely we’ll suffer. Might as well kiss me and get used to it so the first time we do it isn’t on stage, can’t have you turning into a flustered mess,” he smirks.

“If you want to practice the scene so bad, call Mina, I’m sure she’d be thrilled to make out with you here. But I’m going home,” you said, standing up and heading towards the door. You felt Jungkook’s hand on your wrist.

“Parting is such sweet sorrow,” he whispered. You pulled your hand from his wrist.

“That I shall say good night till it be morrow.”

And with that, you left Jungkook standing in the room.

“I get that line now...”

* * *

It was two weeks until your performance and you were starting to work on the stage. Everyone had unanimously voted on having you be stage director, seeing as how you knew it the best. Mrs. Abernathy was nowhere to be found... It was up to you guys to pull this off.

It was about twenty minutes before rehearsal started and Jungkook still hadn’t shown up. Taehyung approached you with a bottle of water. “Do you think he’s gonna show?” he asked, unscrewing the cap and drinking.

“It’d be stupid of him not to,” you declared. “Hey, Baekhyun! Can you bring down the key light to a brighter setting? This looks too dark for it to be a market place in the middle of the day!”

“You got it!”

“Such a bossy lady.”

“Holy shit, is that Jeon Jungkook?”

“I thought we were fucked! Dude you made it!”

“Look what the cat dragged in.”

A group of people swarmed Jungkook and started to chat him up. Asking if he was serious about helping us so we wouldn’t fail. You watched as he eased everyone’s mind. Telling them exactly what they wanted to hear. “Plus, Y/N has been helping me a lot, so I think we’re gonna do great,” he said with a smile.

“Dude that’s awesome!”

Namjoon strolled up behind you and placed his hand on Taehyung’s shoulder. “Seems like he’s more alert than the last time I saw him,” he chuckled

“Less vomit and old vodka stench,” you reminisced.

“What?” Taehyung asked.

Oh fuck.

“Oh nothing, I just helped Y/N carry Jungkook to her apartment after we found him fucking shit faced on the sidewalk,” Namjoon explained. Taehyung’s eyebrows rose so high you were curious if they were going to fly off his face. You wouldn’t put it past them...

“Fuck you, we’re buying the good ramen next time you go grocery shopping for keeping that from me,” Taehyung growled.

“What do you mean we’re buying?! You and your bitch ass make me pay for it!” you yelled.

“Save me, Friar Lawrence!” Taehyung squeaked, looking at Namjoon.

“I gotta go read something about God or whatever, bye!” With that you glared down at Taehyung with murderous intent before you felt a tap on your shoulder.

“What?” you growled, before you saw pitiful Rina looking at you with the stage directions.

“H-here are the stage directions...” she trailed off. It’s a good thing she didn’t get Juliet, because if she had to put up with Jungkook’s constant borage of flirting her heart might give out. Lady Montague is plenty for her.

“Sorry Rina, just stressed is all,” you smiled. She nodded and returned your soft grin and ran off. You sighed and checked them over, approving everything and then handing them off to your Stage Manager Kai.

“Can you make sure that everyone has the directions for the first act please?” you questioned.

“Sure! I’ll get it done,” he smiled.

“You seriously look like some chaebol off of a drama series,” Taehyung laughed.

“Careful what you say, Benvolio,” you growled.

“Yes Lady Juliet,” he cringed.

“But soft, what beauteous body stands within my wake,” Jungkook teased, coming closer.

“I’m going to go find Jimin and see if the costume fitting is going okay,” Taehyung announced before walking off. Leaving you alone with Jungkook.

“Not one you’re ever going to see, what do you want Jungkook?” you asked, already exhausted from his conversation.

“You okay? You seem tired,” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m fine,” you yawned.

The past couple of days you’d been pulling all nighters studying for your other classes and tutoring Jungkook, as well as working at the library and making sure that everything runs smoothly for this production. It was starting to weigh heavy on you.

“Look kinda pale, have you eaten?” he asked, coming closer.

“I don’t have time for this Jungkook, go meet up with Jin so that you can get your measurements taken for your costumes. I think I got a few that might work, but there might need to be alterations and-”

“Do you want to go get something to eat after this?” he asked out of the blue.

“W-what?” you asked, turning to look at him with wide eyes.

“I mean, nothing fancy. But fuck even a bagel would be fine, you look like you’re gonna collapse,” he announced.

“Jungkook, I’m fine. Now either go get fitted for your costume or flirt with the undergrads, I’ve got other things to do,” you sneered. The second the words came out of your mouth you regretted them. He was just trying to be helpful at the very least. He didn’t have to be nice to you, fuck he was good at not being nice. But in the moment where he decides to show some semblance of kindness, you kick him to the curb. “Listen I’m-”

“No, I get it. If I start getting concerned about your well being, I must want to get in your fucking pants. So sorry, forget I asked,” he said, brushing past you and hitting his shoulder with yours. You sighed and rubbed the bridge of your nose, feeling a tension headache coming on fast.

“Are you alright, Y/N?” Hoseok, the gentleman playing Mercutio asked. “You’ve taken on a lot of responsibility, maybe you should go home for the day and we’ll just read lines-”

“No, it’s fine. I’m good, Hobi, thanks for asking,” you played off before heading towards a larger group of people... Desperate to forget the faint feeling curling up your spine.

* * *

It was two hours into rehearsals and you were really not feeling good. You kept telling yourself that it was just the lights and exhaustion. You were going to be fine. You’d go home after this and relax, make sure that everything would work out just fine. That’s all you had to do first.

Jungkook had kept his distance from you, only speaking to you when his character required it. You felt terrible, truly. You hadn’t meant to snap it’s just, seeing him being praised by everyone, when a week ago they were all ready to fuck him over and tell Mrs. Abernathy that he was on his own. It was so fake, so cruel.

“You okay?” Jimin asked, coming forward.

“Yeah, everyone keeps asking me that. And I keep saying that I’m fine, honestly,” you said. Jimin frowned.

“You look weak,” he said, crossing his arms.

“I’m okay, rehearsal is almost over. I’ll go home and get some rest,” you smiled.

“We’re going Scene 5 of Act I,” Jimin said. “Baekhyun wants to make sure that the ambient lighting he ordered looks right for the halls of the set,” he explained.

You nodded, it was a smart idea. “I’ll go get ready. Can you find Chanyeol and tell him I’m going on stage and need him to direct for me?” Jimin nodded but quickly held your shoulders. “If you don’t want to do this you don’t have to. We can call it for the night, we’ve done a lot already,” Jimin suggested.

“No, another hour won’t kill me,” you reasoned before handing off your clipboard and going towards the stage.

As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you really wanted to say yes. But what would everyone think then? Can’t last through a three hour rehearsal and she’s our Stage Director? What bullshit...

You can’t let everyone else down, so you’ll just do the scene and call it... Do the scene, and call it.

Not paying attention, you missed the last step heading to the stage and collided into a wall of muscle. Of course. “Sorry,” you whispered before moving to get off stage. A warm palm wrapped around your wrist.

“Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice soothed. “You really need to stop,” he said, almost pleading.

“It’s one scene Jungkook, I can do it,” you said.

“It’s one scene, it’s one beer, it’s one shot, do you hear yourself? Y/N, if you keep pushing you’re going to hurt yourself,” he declared.

“Jungkook,” you said, turning to face him. “This is my future, I have to get used to it at some point. We’re called starving artists for a reason. To express yourself in your art is more meaningful than food or water-”

“That’s bullshit, don’t give me that. You need to eat and you need to sleep right the fuck now,” he argued.

“Just leave it Jungkook!” you yelled. Everyone’s eyes were on the two of you.

“Then make me a promise,” he demanded.

“What?” you asked.

“Make me a fucking promise,” he held out his pinky. You scoffed and crossed your arms.

“A pinky promise?” you clarified.

“Don’t undermine the power of the pinky promise. If you break it I’ll cut your finger off,” he warned. You rolled your eyes and linked pinkies. “After this scene, you’re going to let me take you home with Taehyung so you can rest.”

“I promise,” you sealed.

“Don’t lie, cause you’ll lose a pinky,” he warned.

“Just not my right one, he’s my favorite,” you begged.

“Definitely will cut off the right one.”

The air felt cleared as you and Jungkook headed towards your positions. Everyone was in place and Chanyeol yelled action. Baekhyun hit the lights and the scene progressed fluidly. Min Yoongi took his place as Capulet, your father, which made you laugh. Yoongi seemed a more lackadaisical Capulet, but when he got into with Montague, played by Yugyeom, it was rather intense to say the least. Jimin was ready by Yoongi’s side as Count Paris, your suitor.

You watched as the scene unfolded, until Wendy came up beside you. She was the person playing as your Nurse. “You feeling alright, Y/N? You look a litt-”

“Hey, Y/N, time for you to head out,” Kai instructed. You gave Wendy a nod before the two of you went forward.

It was so bright out there, everything reflected harshly and it sort of made your head hurt. Not like it didn’t already, but that's besides the point. Everything was blending together. The lights and sound, you heard something like Jungkook’s voice.

“True beauty till this night!” he announced. You knew you must look a mess, but really this was a dry run. Surely everything would be okay. The scene was close to being over.

Wendy pulled you around to your proper spot before Jimin took your hand to start the dance. You knew it well, however in this state you found yourself heavily relying on Jimin’s movements to keep you steady. You cast a glance over Jimin’s shoulder to see Jungkook looking at you with frustration and... worry? But before you could make the decision of what emotion bothered his face Jimin had turned you around and it was forgotten.

You were handed off to one of the maskers and Jungkook interrupted your dance.

He fed you your cues, and you followed slowly, obviously off. However, if you just got through this last section...

“O then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray: grant thou, lest faith turn to despair,” he said, becoming closer.

Jungkook’s face was fading out of your vision.

“Jungkook,” you breathed before you felt your legs give out.

“Y/N!”

“Shit!

“What happened?”

You felt yourself swirling in a pit of dark consciousness. As if you were sleeping, but your mind was alert.

“Damn it, you dumbass. I told you,” Jungkook’s voice came through your thoughts.

“Y/N!” Taehyung’s worried tambre came from your left.

“I’m gonna get the nursing students! Keep trying to talk to her!”

“Y/N! Wake up,” Taehyung whimpered. You heard rustling and felt your upper half being lifted.

“Is she alright?” Namjoon yelled from backstage, coming forward from the sound of his footpath.

“Passed out,” Taehyung said.

“Check her pulse,” Namjoon said.

You felt a cool hand touch your wrist and could feel your own breath hitting your face.

“She’s breathing, but her pulse is kind of low,” Jimin answered.

The world became muddled and everyone’s voices weren’t distinguishable.

“Move aside please!”

“Move aside!”

Unfamiliar voices came from your right. Students?

“Are there any injuries?”

“No I caught her before she fell,” Jungkook explained.

“Okay, have you tried to get her to come to?”

“She’s not responding to anything, but she’s breathing,” Jimin said.

“Alright, let our teacher know we are bringing in a possible dehydration and malnutrition case. We need an IV...”

Their voices faded away as you tried to open your eyes. But you found that you wanted to sink deeper and deeper into sleep.

“Alright bring the gurney in!”

Slowly, you were lifted into the air and placed on a cold surface. Someone’s hand was locked in yours as you made your way out of the performing arts center. Metallic doors shut and it was still. You must be heading towards the infirmary wing.

“What’s your relationship with the patient?”

“I’m her boyfriend.”

Then you fell into unconsciousness.

* * *

Your head throbbed and your tongue sat heavy in your mouth. You moved your shoulder, trying to open exhausted eyes. Peaking one open you gazed around the room.

Bright white and faded pastels greeted you as your vision cleared. The room was bare save for Taehyung falling asleep in the chair next to your bed. Slowly, you reached out for him. Taehyung was in different clothes than the last time you saw him. How long had you been here?

“Ta-e,” you croaked, voice sounding foreign to your own ears. Taehyung perked up in his seat, eyes falling on you immediately.

“Holy shit! Y/N!” he exclaimed, rushing forward and wrapping his arms around you. “Don’t you dare do that shit to me again, what the fuck you dumbass,” he cried, hiccuping into your hair.

“Tae,” you complained, bringing your hand up to rub his forearm. “Can I have some water,” you asked. Quickly, Taehyung pulled away and went to get your request.

“Here, sip slow,” he encouraged. You did so and Taehyung pet your hair softly.

“What happened?” you wondered out loud.

“Dehydration, malnutrition and anemia,” Taehyung answered.

“What?”

“You worked yourself too hard, idiot,” Taehyung scolded.

“I-I, I’m sorry, I let everybody down. Holy-oh damn, I’m so sorry-”

“Shut up, bossy lady,” Jungkook’s voice came through the room.

Taehyung and you both turned to look at him. Against your own reasoning, your heart beat accelerated. You swallowed thick and put your head down.

“What do you want, Jungkook?” you asked.

“You passed out, being my partner in this, I thought I should come and see how you were doing,” he explained.

“Since when did you care so much?” you grumbled. Jungkook sighed and rubbed his face.

“Anyways, you’ve only been out for a few hours,” Taehyung soothed.

“Thank you,” you said, keeping your eyes downcast.

“For what?” Taehyung asked.

“For staying here with me Tae, you didn’t have-“

“I didn’t, Jungkook's been here a majority of the time. I went to yours and got you some clothes. The students said you could leave and go home once you woke up. Jungkook is the one who-”

“Taehyung, shut the fuck up,” Jungkook warned. You looked over to him and raised an eyebrow.

“You stayed with me?” you questioned. Jungkook bit his lip and looked at his shoes.

“Yeah. Taehyung was too overwhelmed and everyone else was trying to figure out what the fuck was going on, so it just made sense,” he reasoned.

“It was crazy, he carried you out like a movie star! A real Romeo,” Taehyung teased.

“Taehyung,” Jungkook growled.

“Oh stop the pissing contest. Taehyung, can I have my clothes please?” you asked. He nodded and walked over to the door and went out, leaving you and Jungkook alone in the fluorescent lights.

“You scared the fuck out of me you know,” Jungkook whispered. Your head perked up and you gazed at him in shock.

“What?”

“Don’t do stupid shit like that again. You’re smarter than that,” he grumbled.

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t want to have to see you like this again. I-It bothers me to see you with all this shit around you,” he huffed, looking off to the side. His cheeks were tinged pink and your heart thrummed against your chest.

“Jungkook I-”

“Hey, Y/N! I got your clothes,” Taehyung announced, coming back in with a grin on his face.

“Feel better, Y/N, I think I’ll manage to practice tonight so you just take it easy,” Jungkook said, turning on his heel and heading out the door.

“Jungkook wait-” you started, before you attempted to get out of bed. But Taehyung grabbed your waist before you could even get close to doing what you wanted.

“Hold your horses, and take them to the old town road before you start moving and shit,” Taehyung complained, forcing you to take a seat. “What’s gotten into you?”

“What, what do you mean? I feel fine, so don’t worry,” you shush him, putting your hand up.

“Bitch sit your slightly too big ass down,” Taehyung said.

“The fuck did you just say?” You growled, looking at Taehyung with murderous intent.

“Calm down, you’re just being so antsy, it’s not like you,” he stated, raising a brow in your direction.

“Well I want to help him, we’ve been practicing all of this for so long,” you said, looking at the ceiling in defeat.

“We still have two full weeks before curtain, don’t make it so we have to do it without you because you got yourself put in an actual hospital,” Taehyung commented.

“I won’t Tae, I promise. I’ll go home and get some rest,” you assured your startled friend.

“You better, because we’ve got an A to get bitch, let’s get it!”

* * *

It was the night before curtain.

You’d done as promised and kept to a much more regular sleep schedule and ate healthy meals to keep you going. But there was Jungkook too.

Ever since that day you passed out, he’d changed.

He was quieter around you. Not joking like he would with the other students. Not that this bothered you at all... Okay maybe a little.

Especially when he would flirt with your fellow students.

That, for some reason, really grinded your gears.

Jungkook, however, was the picture of a perfect student with your help.

Showing up on time, lines memorized and ready to cooperate. It was odd to see such a change. But you guessed that he really didn’t want to fail. And neither did the rest of you.

Although, you and Jungkook still hadn’t practiced your stage kisses. You knew they were going to be real ones, but you weren’t sure you could handle that at this point. With all the weird things happening with Jungkook and your brain in general, you weren’t sure what to do. Jungkook had just kissed your forehead when it was time to do the stage kisses, but that certainly wasn’t going to convey a deeply in love couple.

Taehyung reassured you that when the time was right you would be able to kiss and everything would turn out fine, but in reality, you were just nervous as hell. You hadn’t ever really kissed someone before. The only thing that had come close was when you gave Jungkook water in your apartment!

Just the thought of it had your face heating up in a hurry. So you quickly fanned yourself, trying not to freak out.

“Hey, Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice came from behind you. You jumped, turning around quickly to scold him, when you stopped. He looked concerned about something.

“Everything alright Jungkook?” you asked. He nodded, but grabbed your wrist and started to pull you away into the wings of the theatre.

“I need to talk to you,” he said.

“Okay?” you said back, confused. But then your mind began to race. What could he want? Did you do something wrong? Had you done something that made him uncomfortable? What was he so concerned about?

“We need to start kissing for real, otherwise Abernathy will tan our hides. I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, but I think that we should do a couple practice ones before just so we aren’t awkwardly trying to figure it out on stage,” he explained.

Oh...

That was all.

Wait.

Kissing.

Jeon Jungkook.

That was fine. It was normal. People your age kissed other people all the time right? This was a totally normal thing for him to ask. Especially since your characters were supposed to be in love. You had to kiss. It was supposed to happen. But were you supposed to be this nervous about the whole thing? Was your mind supposed to be racing like this the whole time you were thinking about it because you were pretty sure-

“Y/N?” Jungkook asked, looking at you expectantly.

Then you realized you’d been standing there like an idiot without answering him.

“Oh fuck, I’m sorry,” you said, putting your hand on your head.

“Are you alright? Have you been eating and everything? Do you need water?” he asked, genuinely concerned for your well being.

“Yes, yes Jungkook I’m fine. It’s okay. Honestly. I-I just spaced out is all,” you answered lamely.

“Okay, so, what do you think. Can... Can I kiss you?” he questioned.

“Um, yes. That’s fine. But, we... Not here, let’s go up to the light booth,” you suggested.

“Um, why?” he asked, as you started dragging him up the steps towards the booth.

“Because, it’s quiet up there and... Uh, no one can see us?” you offered.

“I’m not gonna, like, stick my tongue down your throat or anything. We just need to kiss,” he said like it was the simplest thing in the world.

The pair of you entered the lighting booth and you shut and locked the door. Jungkook looked at you with confusion written on his face, but didn’t say anything.

You stood there, looking at him expectantly.

“Well?” you asked.

“What?” he answered.

“Are you gonna kiss me or not?” you asked.

“Y/N, you seem to be getting a little confused here. When I say I’m going to kiss you, I mean I’m just going to, ya know. Kiss you, not like, grope you or something,” he said, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

“No, I know, it’s just...” you trailed off.

“Just what?” he persisted.

“Imayhaveneverkissedanyonebefore,” you rushed out.

“I’m sorry, you’re gonna have to slow that one down speedy gonzales,” he said, looking at you in confusion.

“I may have... never kissed anyone before,” you said slower this time.

Jungkook gawked at you for a moment.

“What?!” you squeaked.

“I just...”

“I know, it’s super lame and I’m a pathetic little virgin who doesn’t know what she’s doing but that’s not the problem here. Just kiss me and get it over with!” you said.

“Y/N,” Jungkook said, walking closer.

Your heart jumped into your throat. Watching him come closer and closer to you as you decided if you wanted to bail or not. Fuck everything, because you weren’t sure what you wanted right now. But one thing was for sure, when Jungkook had you backed up against that wall, your heart was beating so loudly it was almost certain that he could hear it.

“Jungkook... You’re getting kinda close,” you said quietly.

“You said to kiss you, I can’t kiss you from across the room,” he said, putting a hand next to your head against the door.

“Jungkook,” you said his name softly.

“Yes, Y/N?” he said, cool as a cucumber.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this,” you said, turning your face away from his. When he gently grabbed your chin and pulled you to face him once more.

“You’re so skittish, like a little bird. It’s okay dove, I’ve gotcha,” he reassured you.

“I-I,” you whispered, looking deeply into his eyes.

“Shhh,” he said, coming closer.

You closed your eyes.

Feeling the soft pressure of his lips against yours was... overwhelming to say the least. He kissed you softly, and briefly. It lasted maybe five seconds. But you weren’t too sure. Jungkook started pulling away, when you did the unexpected.

You grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to your lips.

All the words that were too confusing to say. Everything that you’d felt over the last three months, heck especially these last two weeks were flooding into your kiss. Anger, frustration... But also, fear, longing, and... maybe? Affection.

Jungkook made a muffled noise against you, but you were too scared for this moment to end. You didn’t want to let him go. Because if you did, then you may never catch him again. You weren’t going to sugar coat it. You weren’t really the prettiest thing or the most daring girl out there. But you loved yourself and loved what you did, and that passion is hard to find nowadays.

Jungkook grabbed your shoulders and pushed away from you for a second before looking at you in confusion.

“Y/N, what-”

“Jungkook... I’m sorry I didn’t mean to come onto you like that. That was extremely inappropriate-”

“No, Y/N, that’s not it. It’s just. I didn’t know... Y/N... do you... do you like me?”

You thought about it for a moment. Did you like Jungkook? Your heart was racing and your mind was reeling.

But your mouth was opening before you could even stop yourself.

“What if I said yes?”

Jungkook’s face turned tumultuous. You should’ve known better than to show your cards to the shark.

“Y/N,” he whispered.

“It’s fine Jungkook, I shouldn’t-”

“I’m sorry I can’t be who you need, but if you want to use me... Use my body, I can do that, I just-I don't have a heart to give you,” he said lamely. You knew it was a line he used frequently. Just by the way he said it.

“Jungkook, you have a heart. You just are too scared to give it away to anyone.” You swallowed. “I should’ve known better.”

Jungkook reached out for you as you started to walk out of the booth. “Hey come on, don’t make me seem like the bad guy here. I never said I was gonna date you, I just said I would kiss you so that you wouldn’t be so nervous to do it on stage, don’t blow this out of proportion,” he said.

You ripped your hand from his and turned on him with a fierce look in your eyes.

“Listen good Jeon Jungkook. You are one of the most vexing individuals I have had the misfortune to know for my entire school career. You are constantly asking for handouts and for people to pity you. When we both know you are entirely capable of learning, and doing things for yourself. I don’t know why you feel like you need to play the victim in every scenario, but it gets old really fast. You don’t need my help anymore, and I don’t need yours so, let’s just agree to be lovers on the stage,” you couldn’t help it, but you choked up at the last part.

“What the fuck is your deal? Play the victim? I don’t-”

“Shut your fucking mouth Jungkook, I don’t want to listen to this, I’m leaving,” you said, opening the booth and running into Taehyung shortly thereafter.

“Um, they said we need to run-”

“I’m done for the day. We’ve practiced enough. Send everyone home for the night,” you said, walking down the steps and out the doors. You heard Taehyung talking to Jungkook but you weren’t concerned with what it was.

All you knew was your heart was broken.

* * *

Crying in your room that night was moderately sad and humiliating. But mostly, you just felt foolish. How had Jungkook and his stupid little smile made it’s way into your heart? And when?

You guess that during your sessions you’d stopped acting...

You genuinely thought his jokes were funny, even if he was copying some of Jin’s jokes... Every smile, every wink, it all read differently to you. You really thought he... Really thought he liked you.

“Let me in you sad bitch,” Taehyung’s voice came from your front door.

You hurried towards your entryway because for you to hear him in your room meant that he was probably screaming his head off in your hallway. And you really didn’t need another noise complaint because of the little weasel. Even if he was your best friend.

“What,” you asked flatly, looking at your best friend, arms full of snacks.

“I come bearing gifts,” he smiled.

“I don’t want them,” you sniffed, raising your head and turning it away from him.

“Don’t be a little shit, let me in so you don’t have to be sad all by yourself,” he said, shoving himself inside the room.

You rolled your eyes and watched as he waddled inside your apartment. Situating himself on the couch he grabbed your remote and scrolled through the channels. You leaned against the entrance to your bedroom, looking at him as he pressed play on the new Ghost Adventures episode.

“Well,” you said, raising a brow.

“We both know you’re upset, don’t pick a fight with me right now,” Taehyung warned.

“You spoke with Jungkook after I left,” you said, rubbing your elbow.

“Yeah, I asked him who the fuck he thought he was and why he played you like he did, and I wanted to ask you why you couldn’t see it,” he said, eyes turning sharp and looking into you.

“I-I couldn’t tell the difference after a while. I really started to enjoy his company, I really started to-to like him Tae,” you whimpered, the tears started hot again, coming down your face.

Taehyung was by your side in a second.

“Babe, don’t cry you’re gonna make me cry,” Taehyung whimpered.

“Did-Did he say anything else?” you asked.

“No, I was too busy running after you to really interrogate him. He’s not worth it, he’s not worth this Y/N, you have to believe me. I understand you wanted him to be more, but he’s not your Romeo. He’s not someone that wants love,” Taehyung said.

“Everyone wants love, and the people who seem like they want it least, want it the most,” you corrected.

“Don’t be a little know it all, just, come here,” Taehyung mumbled, bringing you into a tight hug.

“After tomorrow you never have to see his stupid face again.”

And...

You didn’t.

You showed up, performed your heart out and the whole class got an A.

Even Jeon Jungkook.

Mrs. Abernathy was proud of the production and gave you and Jin special letters of recommendation for your futures.

You hardly saw Jungkook for about a month after that. A rare appearance in the halls of your college but, otherwise. He was a ghost.

But the heartache was still very much present.

Taehyung tried to convince you he wasn’t worth it, but there was something in you that told you otherwise. That there was something more, that you weren’t the only one feeling this way. But, you tried not focusing on him and the pain. You just... existed.

You went to class, participated but overall?

You weren’t nearly as devoted as you usually were.

Taehyung noticed almost immediately.

“I swear if this is about Jungkook-”

“Tae, it’s really nothing. I’m fine,” you tried to push him away, but he was as persistent as a bad case of lice.

“You’re not fine, Y/N. You’re holed up in here all day, you took a majority of online classes this semester. If this is over him, Y/N I’m telling you-”

“He’s not worth it, he’s not worth it. I know Taehyung! You tell me every day that I shouldn’t be this heartbroken, but I am! I can’t help how I feel. How I’ve felt about him since... Since we were younger,” you said softly.

Taehyung sighed, rubbing his face. “Come out with me, lets go get a coffee or something,” Taehyung suggested. Only for you to shake your head and go back into your bedroom.

There’s only one solution to this, Taehyung thought.

Get to the root of the problem.

And the root was a weed called Jeon Jungkook.

* * *

Jungkook woke up with an empty bed.

The girl he slept with must’ve let herself out.

His head ached from the night before. The loud music and lights from the club no doubt had a hand in his raging migraine. He went out and noticed that there was already coffee on, he took some black, and before he could stop himself he sprinkled a little salt in, something that had become customary in his morning routine.

But he couldn’t help but pause this time.

A banging at his door caused a sharp pain behind his eyes to make him almost drop his coffee. Jin was more than likely still asleep so he hurried to answer the door to avoid the wrath that was Jin in the morning.

“Yeah yeah yeah, I hear you hold on-what?”

Jungkook was confused.

There stood Kim Taehyung. Someone he really didn’t expect to see ever again in his life.

“You have some nerve Jeon Jungkook,” Taehyung said, standing in front of the younger male.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about, did I sleep with an ex of yours or something?” he asked, rubbing his head slowly.

“No, but you fucked up with my best friend and now we’re going to get to the bottom of it,” Taehyung said, barging his way inside. Jungkook was so stunned that he just shut the door and let him walk into his living room.

“So what are you here for exactly?” Jungkook asked, sitting down on the couch.

“I’m here to find out what the fuck you said to Y/N to make her shut down like she has,” Taehyung said, eyes burning with a ferocity Jungkook had never seen from the usually happy go lucky man.

“I-I don’t really remember-”

“Don’t bullshit me Jungkook. I was right there outside the light booth that day, you rejected Y/N, but what did you say to her?”

Jungkook sighed and looked at him.

“I told her the truth.”

Taehyung scoffed, rolling his eyes to top off the expression of disbelief. “You told her the truth huh? Told her that you’re a fucking pansy who can’t commit to anything or anyone?”

“Listen man-”

“No, you listen Jungkook. Whatever you did during your tutoring sessions with Y/N, changed something between the two of you. She hardly leaves her apartment, she doesn’t hang out with her friends, whatever you said to her into the lighting booth must’ve really hurt, so I’m here to find out how bad the damage is so I can try to salvage the person she is, because you fucked her over so hard,” Taehyung growled.

Jungkook swallowed hard.

You weren’t hanging out with people? You were isolating?

“I told her that we could fuck, but I’m not going to date her. I-I told her I didn’t have a heart to give her,” Jungkook mumbled.

Taehyung laughed, a somber sound that Jungkook didn’t know could come from the man.

“You absolute fuck.”

“I told her the truth, Taehyung. I don’t know what you want from me,” Jungkook said, trying to keep his flippant attitude.

“You know she won’t let me say anything bad about you. She thinks it’s her fault, she pushed you into a corner. When in reality, you pushed her off a cliff. You’re such a fuckhead Jungkook. The genuine article, truly,” Taehyung scoffed.

“S-She won’t?” Jungkook said, looking down at his coffee cup in his hands.

“She’s too nice, too forgiving. You could live a thousand lifetimes and not deserve her,” Taehyung glowered.

“It’s not up to you to decide if I deserve her,” Jungkook snapped quickly.

Taehyung raised a brow at the tone in Jungkook’s voice. What was that? Was that defensive?

“Unless you aren’t really indifferent to Y/N, unless you feel the same way!”

Jungkook’s cheeks turned bright pink as he tried to get the image of your soft features out of his mind. Taehyung smirked, so the great fuck boy Jungkook was falling for the drama nerd. How poetic.

“You’re right though. It’s not up to me, who she decides she wants in her life is entirely up to her. But I want you to know something,” Taehyung said, leaning in.

Jungkook couldn’t help but do the same.

“She’s hurting right now, and it’s your fucking fault. So either fucking do something about it or, let her down easier. Don’t hurt my friend any more than you already have, Jungkook. Please, she’s too kind for her own good-”

“I remember,” Jungkook sighed.

“Then don’t take advantage of that anymore,” Taehyung said.

“Right…”

“Oh, one final thing Jungkook,” Taehyung announced, turning to square up with him.

“What-”

Jungkook was cut off with a harsh fist in the face. Jungkook fell backwards, coffee cup shattering on the ground and slicing his forearm. Not enough to need stitches, but enough for it to burn.

“Fuck you for hurting my friend,” Taehyung said, shaking his wrist and turning on his heel and heading out the door.

Jungkook watched as the man left, and a deep pit in his stomach grew.

* * *

You finally left your apartment for the first time in a long while. To be fair it was for only the essentials.

Cup noodles and some other cheap easy to make food that would keep your belly full for the time being. But if you were being honest, you couldn’t really taste what you were consuming anyways.

It was late, probably past ten o’clock and you were walking around in your pajamas and not really thinking too much as you handed your card over to the clerk. You paid for your food and gathered up your bags and headed towards the door.

You let the wind bite your cheeks.

Slowly, you made your way home. You made it to your apartment building when the acrid smell of alcohol burned your nose. You looked around and saw someone laying in the bushes outside your building.

“Ew, come on,” you complained. Just as you were about to turn and go on your merry way, the person on the ground moaned.

“Juuuuu,” a deep voice hiccuped.

Your heart stopped in your chest.

Gently you placed your items on the ground and headed towards the individual. Looking at the boots you already knew who it was.

“Jungkook,” you whispered.

“Juuu,” he groaned, turning over and attempting to move.

Why was the universe throwing fastballs when you were still in the little leagues here?

“Jungkook,” you said a little louder. His head lifted from the ground, his bleary eyes met yours and the dope smiled.

“Y/N! You’re there!”

“Yes Jungkook, I live here,” you sighed.

“I know, I ‘member, ‘s why I came by,” he murmured, sitting up on his knees.

“Jungkook you should go home,” you said, moving to turn away.

“Wait, pwease, lissten-I wanna talk to you,” he slurred, already trying to stand up.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Jungkook,” you declared, turning around when you heard his hoarse voice cry out for you.

“Pleeeaassseee, Y/N, dun leave me out here. I juss wanna talk,” Jungkook pleaded, eyes bright in the dark.

You sighed, looking up at the stars in the sky and you knew you were going to cave.

You always would.

“Can you stand?” You asked, looking at his state.

“Um, maybe?” He questioned, going to stand up when he wobbled on his feet and fell forwards. You rushed towards him to catch him, but forgot how bulky the man actually was, causing him to collapse on you in a heap of drunken confusion.

You huffed out a breath, looking up at Jungkook whose face was inches from your own. Now, you had a good look at him. Even in the dark you could see the purpling of his skin. You didn’t even think before bringing your fingers to the damaged skin and looking at it with concern.

“Ouch,” Jungkook said when you ran your finger across his cheek.

“Who did this to you?” you asked, grazing along the lines of his swollen skin.

“Dosn madder,” Jungkook said, pushing up off of you and rolling onto his back.

“Yes it does, who hit you?” You asked as Jungkook managed to stagger to his feet.

“I deserved it,” he gritted out, suddenly sounding more sober than he had earlier.

“Jungkook I doubt you deserved getting punched in the-well, maybe I can’t say that,” you said, rubbing your face awkwardly.

“I deserved it,” he repeated, walking down the street on wobbly deer legs that had you worried he’d fall into traffic.

“Jungkook!” You cried when he stumbled over the curb. Rushing forward you grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the road and towards you. “Come back to mine, sober up and then head home.”

Jungkook knew that he shouldn’t be entitled to your kindness, especially after how mean and heartless he’d been towards you that day. He was surprised you had managed to pull off acting the day after with him during the showcase.

It truly was a testament to you, and your ability to be professional.

Jungkook felt horrible suddenly.

Both mentally and physically.

“Oh fuck,” he choked before doubling over and vomiting on the street. You sighed and rubbed his back as he retched.

When he was done you brought out some tissues and wiped his mouth, tossing them into the garbage next to you. “Come on,” you encouraged, holding your hand out for him to take.

Jungkook’s drunken mind couldn’t resist the feeling of your skin on his, so he took your hand. You led him up the stairs. Jungkook followed, eyes big as he watched your hair flow back towards him. He could smell your shampoo and it made him want to fall asleep.

Soon you were unlocking your apartment. Jungkook leaned against the wall, looking over the railing and getting vertigo so he quickly came back to you.

You pushed your door open and ushered Jungkook inside, getting him settled on the couch. You tugged his shoes off, putting them by the door. You took your own off and ran to the kitchen to get him some water and mints.

When you returned, Jungkook was passed out on your couch. You couldn’t help the soft smile that made its way to your face.

Carefully, you laid him down and covered him with a soft blanket.

“Sweet dreams, Jungkook.”

* * *

You woke up to the smell of something burning.

Quickly you hauled yourself out of bed and ran towards the kitchen. There you saw Jungkook looking at a piece of bread with moderate confusion. He must’ve sensed you staring at him because he turned with a shy smile on his face.

“Normally I don’t have this much trouble with toast,” he admitted.

“Mine’s broken, you can only put it on setting one so it doesn’t burn,” you said.

“Ah, I see,” Jungkook sighed. “Well have you seen those life hacks where you can-”

“Jungkook,” you said, stopping him.

He silenced himself quickly.

“You were drunk, outside my apartment building. Why?” you asked, not beating around the bush.

“Because I wanted to apologize, but I felt so damn guilty that I thought I’d do some shots of liquid courage before I came here to talk to you. But two shots turned into a few more and suddenly I’m shit faced outside your apartment building at some godforsaken hour,” he said.

You took his words in.

“Apologize?” you asked.

“Um, yeah. Apologize,” he said, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

“For?” you pushed.

“For being a dick, and not being considerate of your feelings when we spoke in the lighting booth,” he said, putting his hands together.

“Okay,” you said. “Apologize.”

Jungkook took a deep breath and looked you square in the eyes. “I’m sorry for being such a dick. I’m sorry for not taking the performance seriously in the beginning. And most of all, I’m sorry for hurting you and insulting you. I shouldn’t have suggested we have sex with no strings, that was disrespectful and rude to you.”

You nodded your head for a few moments.

“Okay,” you said again, going to move past him to get a second round of toast going.

“I have this odd feeling I’m not forgiven,” Jungkook said, biting his lip and turning to face you.

“It might be because I’m still thinking about whether I forgive you or not,” you said honestly.

Your heart pounded with each word.

Jungkook’s face fell. “I-I understand,” he said, swallowing hard.

“What you did really hurt me, Jungkook. I’m a person with feelings, not some object,” you lectured.

“I know that, fuck Y/N, I know. I messed up, I betrayed your trust or what little faith you had in me-”

“You did,” you nodded.

“But I’m honest when I say I didn’t mean to.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Why are you asking for forgiveness Jungkook? What’s one hurt girl compared to the tens of girls you’ve wronged before me?”

“B-Because they weren’t you.”

“Nice line, but you’re going to have to try another one,” you scoffed, trying to hide the shimmer of hope that started because of his words.

“I’m serious Y/N, they weren’t you. They placated me. Let me do whatever I want, you’ve never let me do that. You’ve challenged me, made me work to get what I want. I-I like that... I like... you,” Jungkook whispered.

Your heart jumped to your throat. He said everything you wanted to hear. Was he just that big of a fuck boy to know? Or was this a genuine confession.

Only one way to find out.

“I like you too, Jungkook,” you whispered, shutting your eyes tight. Hoping that he didn’t shatter you with your statement. You felt like a cracked wine glass, fit to crumble with a simple breath.

You waited for his laughter, for the mockery.

But when you opened your eyes, all you saw was Jungkook. A bright beaming smile on his face. “Y-You’re serious?” He asked, walking forward and taking your hands in his.

“Yes,” you grinned back, gripping his hands tightly.

“Fuck yeah!” He yelped, bringing your hands to his mouth to place an endearing kiss on them.

“Jungkook,” you blushed.

“Give me a chance, tell me I can call you mine,” he pleaded, looking up at you with such dreamy eyes that had your chest clenching in emotion.

“Jungkook I don’t know-we’re still-”

But before you could continue his lips were on yours.

You wanted to put up a little bit of a fight, but you couldn’t. Melting into his embrace you moved your mouth against his gingerly. You’d only ever kissed him, but the feeling was still overwhelming.

He pulled away slowly, eyes trained on your face.

“I should’ve let you finish, I’m sorry,” he said, biting his now damp lips.

“I know I should be mad, but I can’t be,” you sighed.

“So, before I rudely interrupted you-”

“Yes, I want you to call me yours. I want to call you mine,” you whispered. Jungkook beamed at you, grabbing your waist and pulling you to him in a flourish that was entirely too theatrical. But it was perfect.

“You’re mine and I’m yours,” Jungkook breathed over your lips, leaning to seal them together again.

As cheesy as it was to say it, your mouths fit together perfectly. Like ‘they were made for each other.’ However, it was the most accurate statement your distracted mind could think of while Jungkook practically ravaged your mouth.

“Fuck, I need you,” he growled, pulling away.

You flushed bright pink and Jungkook did the same.

Then the stammering began.

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say that-we don’t have to do anything, I wasn’t expecting-”

You brought your mouths together hurriedly. Jungkook’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but you mimicked his motions from earlier, and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders to pull him closer. Jungkook grunted lightly, but kept your mouths together.

His hands stayed at your hips, but you wanted them to go further. To touch you more.

Lips smacking gently in the quiet room, you begged.

“Jungkook, please.”

Jungkook’s eyes turned dark as he brought you even closer, if it were possible. But then, a softness took over his features. “Are you sure? We can just kiss, or just-um, hang out? Fuck I don’t know Y/N, but we don’t have to go all the way.”

“But I want to,” you urged, pushing him towards your bedroom with a force he didn’t know you possessed.

Suddenly, Jungkook’s back hit the bed. He blinked a few times before you were crawling on top of him, kissing up his neck clumsily before connecting your lips softly. Jungkook’s hands worked on instinct, running up your sides and landing just under your breasts.

You licked at his lips shyly, wanting him to open his mouth. Jungkook sat breathless for a moment, before doing as you desired, opening his mouth and letting you take control for a bit. Although after too long you bit down on his lip a little too hard and he winced, pushing you back by the shoulders gingerly.

“Baby,” the word rolled off his tongue too easily, but made your stomach fill with butterflies regardless.

“Sorry, sorry,” you apologized, just as out of breath as he was.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s just, you don’t have to know what you’re doing. If you need me to guide you, just tell me. I’ll help you,” Jungkook soothed, finding your hands and intertwining your fingers together.

“Okay, I will,” you nodded, leaning down to kiss him again.

Jungkook eagerly accepted your mouth and adjusted your chin gently, locking the two of you into the perfect kiss. His rhythm guided you along, you followed him breaking apart only to breathe for a few seconds before reconnecting your mouths.

His lips were addictive, plump and swollen from yours.

But there was something in his eyes that made you pull back for a moment longer than usual.

“What is it?” You asked, sitting up on his lap and suddenly you felt the problem.

Jungkook was hard, extremely so, against your thigh.

He flushed and sat up to move you so you wouldn’t touch him-but you grabbed his wrist.

“Show me how,” you said, settling back into his lap. Jungkook swallowed hard and angled your hips against his crotch.

“Push forward,” he encouraged, looking down at your clothed centers touching. You did as he said, pushing forward with your hips, causing Jungkook to moan softly. His hardness rubbed against you as well, making a small squeak escape from your lips. Jungkook’s ears picked it up though, causing him to look at you with a small smile.

“Does it feel good?” You asked, pushing again, watching as his face scrunched up. He nodded slowly, before grabbing your hip and grinding back against you. You gasped out, his hardened length brushing against your sensitive center surprising you. You wanted more.

Without much more urging, you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and ground against him harshly. Jungkook groaned against your lips, making you look at him with a deviousness that had his heart pounding.

“Feels so fucking good,” he agreed, licking his lips. Your chest was throbbing along with his trapped length. You could feel the wetness leaking into your flimsy pajama shorts. Your panties were probably in a miserable state. With a direct thrust to your wet core, Jungkook watched your face and saw your eyebrows raise in surprise.

“C-Careful,” you begged.

“You like that babygirl?” He asked, biting his lips harshly as he moved again. You gripped his shoulders as you felt him grind against you.

“Y-Yes,” you whimpered out.

“You’re soaking those pathetic little shorts, you should take them off,” Jungkook said, a low growl in his voice.

“Okay,” you agreed, standing up off of him and pulling your shorts down to reveal your pastel yellow panties, a cute little bow in the center decorating the band.

“Mmm, maybe you should take those off too, they’re ruined anyways,” Jungkook suggested. You nodded slowly, pulling your panties off in a clumsy fashion. Just as you were about to toss your underwear to the floor, you looked up and saw Jungkook holding his hand out expectantly.

“Wha-”

“Give them here babydoll,” he said, hand still extended palm up.

“But-”

“I don’t think that was a question sweet girl, give me your panties,” Jungkook commanded, you swallowed hard and handed them over. Jungkook smirked and grabbed them and tucked them away in the pocket of his jeans.

“You plan on wearing those later?” You asked, irritated that he managed to embarrass you like this.

“I plan on stuffing them in your bratty little mouth if you keep talking back to me,” he snarled, standing up and taking your jaw in his hand.

The position would scare some, but you felt the light pressure, Jungkook wasn’t doing this to hurt you. He wanted you to fall into a character.

“Sorry sir,” you breathed. Jungkook’s eyes widened before his lips were on yours, desperately searching. His hand remained on your jaw, kissing you with a force that was surprising. Jungkook brought his other hand to your waist, bringing you closer to him while he ravished your lips.

You brought your hands up to rest on his wrist, kissing him back with a lack of technique but it seemed to egg Jungkook on more. He moved your mouth along with his, making you rub your thighs together as your center heated up even more.

“What’s wrong babydoll? Need something?” He asked, placing his hands on your shoulder and hip.

You swallowed hard, before grabbing one hand and placing it over your core. Jungkook’s eyes shot up in surprise. You angled your hips to rut against his hand gently, a soft whine coming from your lips causing Jungkook to move his fingers for you so you could grind down against his hand, giving you sharp pleasure you hadn’t felt before.

“Right there,” you encouraged, eyes sparkling in the morning light. Jungkook started rubbing a little harder, kissing your jaw while you panted into his ear.

“Is it good? Feel good on your little pussy baby? So wet, wanna taste you, eat you up,” Jungkook moaned against your skin.

“You can do whatever you want to me sir,” you whispered, hips bucking against his fingers.

“Yeah? Let me do whatever I want to your body? Think you could take it?” He asked, wrapping his fingers around your throat loosely.

“Make me take it,” you brought your hand up to his fingers and made him squeeze.

“My babygirl is so naughty, who knew,” he grinned salaciously.

“This isn’t fair, take your pants off too sir,” you whined, reaching for his zipper. His hand gripped your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

“Baby,” he tutted. “Don’t get greedy now.”

You whimpered out again, but moved back to let Jungkook take over. He was quick to flip you on your back on your bed, where he previously found himself. But this time you were without shorts and panties and Jungkook wasn’t a man to let opportunity pass him by. Quickly, he was placing kisses on your thighs and all over your lower stomach. A soft mewl came from your mouth when he placed a gentle kiss to your clit. Jungkook looked at you for a moment, confirming this is what you wanted.

“Please sir, please eat me out,” you begged lightly.

Jungkook growled deep in his chest. But kissed your lower stomach lovingly, laving his tongue over your heated skin. “I will. Has anyone ever-”

“No,” you answered fast. “You’ll be the first.”

“Such a sweet thing and no one’s had a taste? How sad, but I plan to enjoy every minute,” Jungkook said, licking his lips in anticipation.

“Please, hurry. Make me feel good,” you pleaded. Jungkook’s eyes sharpened at you and you shrunk against your sheets.

“Don’t make me punish you little girl, I won’t be kind even if it is your first time,” Jungkook warned.

“Yes sir, I’ll be good, I’m sorry,” you said quietly. Jungkook moved from his position between your legs and went up to your mouth.

“I know you’ll be my good girl, won’t you? My good girl,” he confirmed before placing a solid kiss on your lips. You wound your fingers in his hair and pulled him closer. Jungkook groaned into your mouth, hand coming up to cradle your face and the other settled right underneath your breast. You felt his thumb rubbing right along where your bra would sit, waiting.

“You can touch me, I want you to touch me,” you encouraged, placing his hand on your chest gently, squeezing just enough to make your breath catch in your throat.

“I’ll touch you until you can hardly take anymore,” Jungkook smiled, placing another quick peck to your lips before settling between your legs.

Jungkook wrapped his arms around your thighs and spread you open for him. You blushed, cheeks turning hot as Jungkook marveled at your beauty. Carefully, you reached out and touched his face. His eyes snapped to yours and you gave a gentle smile. Jungkook placed a kiss to your wrist before finally moving down to your center.

Gingerly, as to not startle you, Jungkook made a big lick along your slit. You jolted despite yourself, breath catching in your chest. It was an unusual feeling, but not unpleasant. Not by far. Jungkook gauged your facial features and continued slowly. Making bigger lips to start, not focusing on any particular area, but bringing you little sparks of pleasure regardless.

Then, Jungkook licked over your clit for a just a moment, watching as your hands gripped the sheets a little tighter. So far you hadn’t been very vocal, and Jungkook was wondering if oral just wasn’t your thing or if you were nervous. Reaching up with one hand, Jungkook intertwined your fingers.

“Relax babygirl, it’s just me. I wanna make you feel good,” Jungkook said, kissing your center again.

“I just, don’t know what it’s supposed to feel like, so I don’t know what I’m supposed to be feeling,” you said, embarrassed.

“Does it not feel good?”

“It’s a little weird,” you confessed.

“So you don’t like it,” Jungkook said, looking a little put out.

“No no, just... Try it again, if I still don’t like it I’ll tell you,” you said.

Jungkook nodded before going back down, licking a little more directly against your clit. You felt a sharp pang of pleasure go through your lower stomach at the action. You shuddered in his hold, feeling the start of a fire in the base of your belly.

“J-Jungkook,” you whispered, biting your lip.

“Yeah?” he asked, lifting his head. You about kicked yourself for making him stop.

“Keep going, please keep going,” you begged

A bright smile took over his face as he nodded, diving back in with renewed vigor. Jungkook was eating you out like a man on death row would his last meal. His eyes were closed, face screwed up in pleasure as he continued to lick and slurp at your core with an intensity that bordered animalistic.

“O-oh!” you cried out, head throwing back against the bed in pleasure.

“Mmm, baby you taste so good,” he moaned. “Gonna make you cum like this.”

“Ah!” you gasped, gripping Jungkook’s hand tightly.

He kept up pace, sucking on your lower lips with a dastardly look on his face. You could feel the coil in your stomach tightening. The heat rushing up from your stomach to your neck and face as you panted in pleasure. Jungkook brought your clit into his mouth and sucked harshly. You cried out, tightening your hand on his as your mind started to spiral.

“Come on baby, I know you wanna cum. Just cum, you can do it babygirl,” he cooed, almost patronizingly. But you couldn’t help yourself, every flick of Jungkook’s tongue had your mind going blank and soon you felt your body spasm and a strike of white hot bliss flushed over your being.

“Jungkook!” you cried out, his hand the only thing keeping you grounded.

“Good girl, what a good girl you are Y/N, my precious girl,” Jungkook whispered softly as he brought you down from your high.

Your heart was pounding in your chest and you were breathless as you looked up at your ceiling. Jungkook placed a final kiss to your center before coming up and taking your lips in his. You could taste yourself on his lips, it wasn’t an unpleasant taste, just different. But, the longer you kissed in the brightening morning light of your bedroom, you found you couldn’t hold off anymore.

“Jungkook, I'm ready,” you said when he finally pulled back from you.

His eyes shone like two pieces of obsidian glass as you looked at him above you. Jungkook gave you a boyish smile before nodding quickly. His body heat was replaced with the cold of the room. Soon, he was stripping himself of his clothes, so you decided to pull the last remaining piece of your own off as well.

Jungkook was lean and built strongly, with a narrow waist and damn near perfect proportions. His arms came to embrace you as you kissed him. Jungkook licked at your lips slyly, having you open your mouth to accept him.

The wet sound of your kissing filled the room as Jungkook adjusted you on your bed. He arranged the pillows and even had you put one under your butt to lift your hips up better. He kept coming back to your lips for more and more kisses as he did this, making your heart shine with adoration.

Finally, Jungkook seemed appeased with your placement on the bed and then his face went pale.

“Fuck, I don’t have any condoms,” he frowned, rubbing his neck.

“I do, in the bedside drawer,” you said, pointing towards the piece of furniture.

“Gotcha,” Jungkook answered, scrambling off the bed towards the table. He opened the drawer, found the box and opened them with ease. You swallowed hard as he spit in his hand and rubbed his length a few times before rolling the condom on.

Soon he was back on your bed, crawling forward and placing random kisses all over your body.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

“Thank you,” you flushed.

“Gonna make you feel how beautiful you are to me, how beautiful you are no matter what,” Jungkook said, mostly to himself.

“Is it gonna hurt?” you asked. Jungkook furrowed his brow.

“It might sting for a second but if it hurts more than that then you need to tell me,” Jungkook said. You nodded and nestled into the sheets reaching for him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.

“I trust you,” you breathed as you separated.

“I trust you too,” he said, a smile on his face.

“Go slow?”

“Okay.”

Soon, Jungkook was lined up with your entrance and pushing in. He was right, it did sting a little bit, but what replaced the stingy achiness was the full feeling.

You gripped his forearm tightly, and Jungkook paused. “Are you okay?” he asked. You nodded, not trusting your voice at the moment.

“Need a second?” he questioned.

“Y-Yes,” you said. Jungkook brought himself down onto his elbows, kissing your forehead gently before another sweet kiss was pressed to your lips.

You could feel him everywhere, it made your heart race. Jungkook pulled back and you urged your hips forward, wanting more of him inside of you. He was eager to comply. Kissing you again he pushed forward the rest of the way and finally settle within you.

“Is that it?” you asked, panting slightly.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Jungkook chuckled lightly.

“Fuck, you’re huge,” you groaned, gripping the sheets tightly.

“Does it hurt?” he asked, worried.

“No,” you moaned out. Jungkook felt his stomach clench at the wanton sound of your voice.

“Want me to move baby? Want me to pound your pussy so hard you can’t leave this bed for the rest of the day?” he asked, teasing lilt in his voice.

“Yes sir, please!” you cried out.

Jungkook, despite wanting nothing more than to ravage your body, gave a few shallow thrusts to make sure that you were okay with the sensation. If the moan that came from you was anything to go by, he would say you were enjoying yourself.

“Fuck, pussy so tight, so good baby,” he moaned, pushing himself forward and smacking his hips into yours.

It felt like your blood was on fire in the best way possible. Jungkook was thrusting inside of you at a pace that was alarming, but felt so good you couldn’t tell him to slow down or stop. You honestly didn’t want him to either.

“S-Sir, so big, I-I can’t-”

Jungkook smirked before bringing your lips together in a passionate kiss.

“You can take it, can’t you baby? Or I’ll make you take it, stuff you so full of my cock that you won’t be able to think of anything else.”

“P-Please, give me more,” you begged, moving your hips back against his instinctively. Jungkook seemed happy to deliver, pounding against you so hard your body moved up the bed. Jungkook grabbed your leg, lifting it to his shoulder.

You cried out as he slipped even deeper inside of you. Jungkook groaned and kissed your calf before plowing into you at an even scarier speed.

“Fuck I can’t hold it,” he whimpered.

“It’s okay, I’m there. Touch me, touch me please,” you mewled. Jungkook nodded and brought his thumb to your clit, rubbing it diligently.

“Fuck fuck fuck, baby, so close, feels so good,” Jungkook cried out. The sweat had collected on his brow and was pooling down his spine.

“Jungkook!” you cried out at the cord inside of you snapped for a second time that night.

Jungkook couldn’t hold on as you tightened exponentially around him.

“Fuck Y/N!” he whimpered, curling forward as he emptied himself into the condom.

The two of you laid there in the afterglow, Jungkook was panting hard as if he’d ran a marathon. Your heart was in your throat as you ran your fingers through his sweaty hair.

“I really like you Y/N,” Jungkook whispered. “I’m not just saying that. I-I really am glad I can call you mine,” he breathed against your swollen lips.

“Me too,” you said, kissing him deeply. “Now, hurry up, we’re doing that until I can’t feel my legs.”

Jungkook laughed.

There was no way you could pull off your stunts if you didn’t have trust in your teammates. And you could say you trusted Jimin with your life - literally. Accidents and mistakes were bound to happen but there was no doubt that you’d be down to try for anything if Jimin was your base.

Not only was Jimin a trustworthy base, but he was also an amazing stunter. His physique was perfect to be an in between, he could pull off both roles. That almost guaranteed him a spot on the mat every time. He was extremely hardworking as well and you’ll always be proud of your best friend making mat. Of course, you wanted to make mat just as badly as the next person.

Last season, you did not make mat and it crushed you. Jimin was there to get you out of your rut and encouraged you to bounce back stronger. Thanks to him, you managed to pick yourself up and train harder for the upcoming nationals. You had never been more determined to make mat.

“Point your toes, I want my flyers looking really perfect.” Your coach yelled over the music. Your coach was a beast, but an effective one, nonetheless. Your team won nationals last season and ready to bag this season as well.

“Alright, that’s all for today. Clean the place up and you guys can go home. Thanks everybody!” Your coach clapped their hands and the team followed suit as everyone got up from the mat and started tidying the place.

“Need a lift?”

“Yes please, you’re the best!” You pulled Jimin in for a tight hug, “Okay, you do this then!” Jimin handed you the empty bottles that he picked up from the ground as he headed off the change first.

You grumbled but took his place in defeat.

—

Big smiles were plastered on your faces as you congratulated the winning team - your college. You best friend nudged you while you waved the team goodbye as they passed by. “Coming to the after party?”

“Wouldn’t miss the free drinks and snacks.”

Jimin snorted, “Obviously.”

Though you did say that it felt like the cheer team was under appreciated, you were always invited to the after parties. Most of you went, mainly for the free drinks and snacks.

You flashed two thumbs up with Jimin as Yoongi passed by. A small smile on his face as he slightly bowed his heads in your direction, acknowledging your cheers.

Through all the after parties, you have been acquainted with one of their star players - Min Yoongi. He was one of the few who hung out in the kitchen to avoid all the party games and the crowd in the general. He disliked the unnecessary glamour and attention that came along with joining the rugby club. You admired his passion for rugby and along with Jimin, the three of you became the trio who hid away from the crowd during the parties.

After the debrief with our coach, your team dispersed to your own places to freshen up for the after party. It was a Friday night, and a good night of drinking was warranted after a tiring week.

You were all lucky your coach was not strict regarding such parties, as long as everyone turned up ready for the following practice.

“Glad to see faces I actually like.” Yoongi commented, handing you two drinks he had already prepared. “You make it sound like you hate everyone on your team.”

“I would say a good majority. I’m actually jealous that your cheer team is so close knit.”

Jimin nudged you after you downed your shot, “Without trust, our stunts won’t fly.”

You nodded your head in agreement, “Probably should get my team to watch your practices to learn a thing about team spirit.” Yoongi scoffed, mostly to himself, knowing that realistically, it would never happen.

The three of you turned your attention to the living room, watching Yoongi’s teammates either play beer pong or trying to find their fling for the night.

“They’re skilled, no doubt. But most of them are here for the popularity. It’s rare to find someone who genuinely likes football too.” Yoongi ranted as you poured himself another shot.

“Is there not a single soul?” Jimin asked, feeling a tinge of pity for his friend who was not experiencing the same level of love for his team as Jimin did for the cheer team.

Yoongi’s eyes scanned across the room, slowly shaking his head before his eyes landed on someone. “Actually, there is— Jungkook!” He raised his hand, shouting over the loud music as he tried to get someone’s attention.

You turned your head to see Jungkook approaching your group. “Jungkook? Really?” You questioned Yoongi. Jungkook was one of the star players as well. It was impossible not to know Jungkook. You could walk down any corridor in campus, and you would hear someone mention his name at least once.

“Hey,” Jungkook greeted Yoongi before his eyes shifted to yours and Jimin’s. “What’s going on?”

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, “Just wanted to introduce you to some of the members from cheer.”

“From cheer, huh?” The corner of his lips tugged upwards as his eyes went back to you.

“I figured you won’t recognise us, even though we’ve been at your parties since, well… Basically here every party.” You didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but it just came out from you. You heard Jimin chuckle from beside you as he draped his arms over you.

“Sorry bud, yn here doesn’t have a good impression of you guys.”

“It’s not like you have a better one.” You bit back at Jimin who just stuck out his tongue at you. “That is true,” He pulled away as he took a drink, “We were actually just bitching about you guys with Yoongi.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened in bewilderment, yet he felt amused enough to stay and find out more. “Is that so, Yoongi?”

His teammate nodded his head nonchalantly, “Just sharing the truth. About how most of them are here to be popular. I called you because I know you’re one of the few who actually joined for rugby.”

Jungkook huffed out an amused hum, “Interesting. What are your names again?”

“Yn and Jimin.” Jimin instantly replied, knowing you were probably going to reply with a snarky comment. “Part of the cheer team, like Yoongi said. She’s mainly a flyer and I’m a base and tumbler.”

You watched as his eyes furrowed in confusion, “S-Sorry I don’t know cheer terms.”

“Not surprised.” You let the words slip as you took a sip from your cup. Jungkook’s eyes looked at you, a hint of challenge and interest on his expression.

“If you have something against me, let’s hear it.”

“Don’t take it personally, Jungkook.” You reached out to give a light pat on his right chest. “I had a bad impression on Yoongi as well.”

With that, Yoongi sighed, nodding his head in the back. “It’s a miracle she likes me now.”

“Well, why don’t you give me a chance to change that impression then?” The left corner of his lip rose a playful look on his face as he challenged you.

It could be the alcohol or could be the loud music that made you disoriented. Nonetheless, you reached out your hand for a handshake, “You’ve got one chance.”

Jimin and Yoongi left the kitchen to enjoy their own time together. You had an inkling that something was stirring between them, but you decided to let them be as you were left alone with Jungkook in the kitchen.

“So, yn,” Jungkook shifted in the high stool, leaning on his right elbow, his attention focused on you. “Care to explain why you seem to hate my team so badly?”

“Buckle your seatbelts, Jeon.” You teased as you reached out for your drink. You watched his attention eyes fixated on yours as he waited for your answer. “I dislike your team because it feels we don’t get the appreciation I feel we rightfully deserve. We’re always there for your plays, even for your friendlies. The support just feels one sided and to me it sucks when we put in a lot for our routines as well.”

You watched him slowly nod his head in understanding, his body leaning backwards as he internalised your words. “I have to admit. I never really paused to think about your cheer team. I mean your outfits and pom poms are cute and all— “

Pointing your finger at him, you interrupted, “Exactly, we’re not just cute outfits and pom poms. We only use the cheesy pom poms for your matches to make the crowd all hyped up. Do you even know we have our own competition as well?”

Jungkook shrugged his shoulders, “Of course I do. Just never watched one.”

You let out a short, dry laugh, “It’s okay. Can’t say I’m surprised.”

Jungkook frowned, noting the dejected tone laced in your laugh and words as you tried to dismiss it. As an athlete himself, he knew how dejecting it must feel that support was one sided or lacking.

“Hey,” He placed the cup on the counter, “Why don’t you educate me? I’d like to know more.”

You smiled, “You’re pretty good at changing your first impression. You’re working really hard.”

He laughed, shaking his head, “No no, I mean it. It’s not just about changing your opinion of me. Tell me about cheer.”

You paused momentarily, recognising the sincerity in his voice as his gaze stayed on you. You knew he was serious about wanting to know more. It was as though the wall you placed between the two seemed to falter, a very minuscule crack forming on the wall.

“Jungkook!” A random college student hollered for his attention, “Come play beer pong with us!” You watched in amusement as you read their body language. They were clearly flirting with Jungkook and calling for his attention.

“Duty calls?”

Jungkook shook his head, “I’ll pass!”

“We can save this talk for another time, you can go— “

“Just to clear things up,” Jungkook turned back to you, “I’m not a fuckboy.”

You choked on air from his sudden defence statement, “I-I didn’t s-say you were— “

“Didn’t have to,” He said with a light smile on his face, “But I expected it too. Comes with the popularity I guess.” “So, you don’t…?” You trailed off and he shook his head, as if he was completely appalled by the sheer thought of being a fuckboy. “No, no. I don’t see the point in flings. Like Yoongi said, I’m here for rugby. Not to find dates.”

It felt as if another crack in the wall was formed after learning that fact. Like how Yoongi managed to break down the wall between you and him a few games ago.

Maybe not all jocks were bad.

“Anyway,” Jungkook pulled you back from your thoughts, “Educate me.”

You began sharing how was practice like, the different roles people were and how strict your coach was. You explained how you were always at the gym on the days you didn’t have training. You always got passionate when you talked about cheer and Jungkook experienced it first-hand. He watched how your face immediately lit up when he asked you to share about the sport. He was sure that even a person with zero interest with cheer would be completely drawn to hear you share about it with how enthusiastic you were.

“We currently have training three times a week since nationals are coming. We practice from late afternoon to almost midnight sometimes.” You paused, a sheepish grin creeping on your face as you realised you had been rambling on about your sport. “I-I’m sorry, I must’ve bored you to death.”

“No, no!” He immediately shook his head, hands out in front shaking as well in protest, “I wasn’t bored. I was really interested. I can tell how much you love cheer though.”

“Y-Yea I really do. Always good to find something to distract you especially during college.”

He nodded his head, “Can’t argue with that.” He raised his plastic cup in his hand, “Cheers to distractions.”

“Cheers,” You laughed, raising your cup towards his.

-

You could say you clicked well with Jungkook that night. In fact, you guys shared a lot about each other’s sport that you didn’t exchange numbers or any form of communication afterwards. It didn’t bug you so much since you figured it was a one-off conversation with him.

To be frank, you almost forgot that you talked with Jungkook that party. Jimin was the one who reminded you, asking about how he was and if you still hated jocks.

“He’s not bad, actually.”

“Of course, that’s why Yoongi actually likes him.” You raised an eyebrow suspiciously, leaning towards Jimin, “Speaking of Yoongi, how are things between you two?”

Your friend snorted, dismissing you with his hand, “What are you talking about? There’s nothing going on. We’re just friendly.”

“For now?”

Jimin shrugged, “We’ll see how it goes.” He gives you a wink before getting up, extending his hand out as an offer to pull you up. “Back on the mat.”

Training went on until 11pm, it was full of drills as soon your coach would be picking who will make mat for nationals. Everyone had to give it their all during practice as you were all constantly being scrutinised by your coach, your attitude, skills, and stamina. You had been training your stunts with Jimin after he managed to pull you back up from your sulking phase. Everything was important.

You separated from Jimin after practice as you made your way to the bus stop to head home. “Yn? Is that you?”

A very familiar honey-like voice.

Jungkook slowly made his way to the bus stop, “What are you doing here at campus so late?” You asked.

“I was studying. Just ended practice?”

“Yea.”

Jungkook glanced at his watch, “Wanna grab a midnight snack?”

You smiled, “Sure.”

“How does ice cream sound?”

“I’m down.”

There was a small ice cream store near campus and luckily, you managed to catch the last order. The both of you enjoyed your slow late night stroll back to the bus stop as you strikes up a conversation with him.

“I realised I was the only one talking about my sport that night. How about you share about rugby? I actually don’t know much about it.”

“You sure?” Jungkook asked, slightly shocked that you had brought up his sport. “Because I can get carried away when I talk about it—“

You laughed, “I’m sure Jungkook. Fire away.”

Jungkook started sharing the rules and positions of rugby - “I’m number 11, one of the wings” You looked at him, already confused with the terms. With a short chuckle, he explained, “I’m one of the backs. We do the running and scoring. Sometimes, we have to knock people down in our way.”

He continued sharing his training schedule as well - how his team similarly had gym sessions on non-training days just like cheer. The only difference was that the rugby team had a gym off campus.

“Sounds fancy.”

“It’s pretty fancy.” He nodded his head letting out an airy laugh.

“Rubgy doesn’t sound too bad now that I know how it works.”

“You could watch one of our matches or practices when you guys aren’t cheering for us.”

“Why not.”

—

“Guess who I see?” Jimin whispered, nudging you out of your focus. You looked up, placing your dumbbells down, “Where are you looking at?”

“6 o’clock.” He muttered as he sneakily stole your dumbbells to do his set while you turned around to spot Jungkook who had just entered the gym.

You were surprised to see Jungkook and his teammates at the gym. Yoongi was the first one who spotted you. He sent a small smile, raising his hand for a short wave in your direction.

“Hey thief,” You nudged Jimin back, “Yoongi is here too.”

“I know, that’s why I stole your dumbbells.” You chuckled, smacking his toned arms upon learning his tactic.

You watched Yoongi talk to Jungkook, seemingly informing him that you were there as Jungkook turned his body around, his eyes meeting yours. You smiled, sending a hello with your hand to which he returned.

Seeing that you were unoccupied, since Jimin stole your dumbbells, Jungkook made his way to you. “What happened to your almighty external gym?”

He shrugged with a bright smile, “After hearing you hype up the campus gym so much the other night, I thought, why not give it a shot?”

You shook your head with a chuckle, clearly not believing his words. “If that’s the case, enjoy the campus gym!” You reached out to pat his broad shoulders before turning back to resume your gym session.

“Are you done with your set yet?” You questioned Jimin who stood right back up with a grin, “Was he watching me?”

Taking the dumbbells from his hands, you shrugged, “Doubt it.”

“Yea right.” Jimin scoffed, stepping aside to give you more space.

Your gym session lasted an hour as usual, ensuring that you don’t over-work your body as well since your coach was going to be choosing the final 20 soon.

Whenever you weren’t studying or training, you were stressing over whether you’ll make mat. And it was evident on your face. You heard a sigh coming from Jimin, “Don’t stress over it too much. You’ve been working extra hard this season, I’m confident you’ll make it.”

You responded with a weak smile, “Thanks Jimin, I really hope so.”

“Me too, but what you need is to stop thinking about it right now. Go get a distraction for tonight. Tomorrow’s training is going to be torturous.”

“When isn’t it?” You joked, “Touché.”

You packed your gym bag with Jimin, ready to leave and wind down for the day. Jimin was right, you needed a distraction - maybe a Netflix movie, or do some yoga to de-stress, or do a sheet mask —

“Jimin, yn!” You heard Yoongi holler out your names as you walked away from the campus gym.

“Yoongi, what’s up?”

Yoongi walked up to the both of you, accompanied by Jungkook.

“We just ended our session, was thinking if you wanted to grab dinner together?”

“Sure! Yn here,” Jimin laces his arm around yours as he pulled you closer to him, “needs a distraction ASAP.”

“A distraction?” Jungkook asked, looking at you for a response.

“From worrying about making mat.”

Yoongi chuckled, “Jungkook doesn’t know cheer lingo— “

“Oh no,” He shook his head, “I know what that means.”

“You do?!” Yoongi and Jimin asked incredulously.

“I gave him a lecture about cheer during that after party.” You answered and Jimin laughed, “Right! I forgot about your granny lecture.”

You scoffed defensively, “I-I mean he could’ve stopped be any time he was bored— “

“Because I wasn’t. It’s refreshing seeing people be so passionate about something, especially during college.” You returned the smile, the more you interacted with Jungkook, the more you could see why Yoongi kept Jungkook in his small circle of friends.

If there was anything the four of you had in common, it was your passion for your sport.

“I know a great place we can eat at.” Yoongi suggested. The four of you headed over to Yoongi’s go-to restaurants after his workout sessions. As the food started to come to your table, Yoongi and Jimin were caught up with some music competition show that you did not keep up with.

“So how has cheer been?” Jungkook’s voice pulled your attention towards him. “Fun but tiring as usual. Our coach is selecting who will make it to the final 20 for the nationals.” You sighed, anxiousness clearly evident in your tone and on your face.

“Hey, from an athlete to another, I know you’ve trained very hard, and I’ll be rooting for you to make it to the final 20.”

You weren’t sure why, but it felt comforting to hear those words from Jungkook. It felt different than when Jimin would cheer you up. You quickly decided that it was because you were praised by one of the star players of the rugby team. It felt great being acknowledged by someone out of the cheer world.

So, you decided to go with that explanation.

“Thanks, Jungkook, I hope I do. But you technically don’t know whether I’ve trained hard since you’ve never seen me practice.”

“That is true.” He simply grinned at you, “But I just know.”

“You have so much faith in me, Jungkook.” You teased.

He placed his forearms on the table, leaning on them to bring himself slightly close to you, “I have lots of faith in you.”

—

You weren’t stupid and you weren’t blind either. You and Jimin have been spotting Jungkook and Yoongi loitering around the indoor gym lately.

“Did you see them?” Jimin tossed you your newly refilled bottle, “I haven’t left the gym. They’re here again? It’s like 10pm.”

Jimin shrugged his shoulders, “Yoongi was napping on the table though. Looks like Jungkook was the only one actually studying.”

Jungkook never mentioned to you that he stayed back in campus to revise. Though, you barely talked to him since you never exchanged numbers. Every time you had a conversation with him, you both would get too swept up in the conversation that it never occurred to either of you that it was the 21st century and you could talk with your phones.

Training ended an hour later, and you did not expect them to still be outside ‘studying’.

“You guys are still studying?” Jimin called out as you both approached them, Jungkook’s head shot up almost instantly, his eyes finding yours, a bright smile on his face despite his tired eyes from revision. “What a coincidence seeing you here.”

You raised your eyebrows questioningly, “Here,” You looked around with your hands gesturing to the area, “Right outside the indoor gym, with no fan or AC.”

“Yes, here.” He insisted.

Yoongi sighed, finally waking up from his nap. “What’s with the commotion— Oh, you guys are finally done with practice.” He got up and grabbed his bags, “Jimin, need a lift?”

“Yes please!” Jimin nodded his head, giving you a quick goodbye hug before heading off with Yoongi, leaving you alone with Jungkook.

“Guess I can’t judge your preference for a study location.” You made your way to him as he packed up his belongings. “I kinda feel bad for you that Yoongi ditched you.”

Jungkook shook his head with a smile, “He was meant to ditch me anyway. I was waiting to see you.”

You felt yourself momentarily pause; an inhale stuck halfway as you processed his words. He waited to see me. You thought, your brain trying to find an explanation for that.

“I realised we haven’t exchanged numbers even after all this time.” He continued when he didn’t get a response.

“O-Oh right, here,” You reached for your phone in your bag, handing it to Jungkook. “I’ll drop you message.”

Jungkook didn’t take your phone immediately, his eyes locked on your face, as if he was shocked that you didn’t mind exchanging numbers, his hand reached for your phone, gently brushing against your fingers, sending a fluttery feeling in your way.

Once he added his contact, he returned your phone, “It’s 11pm, do you have a ride home?”

“I usually just take the bus.”

“I have a car. Let me take you home.”

“Oh no,” You shook your head, “You don’t have to really, I’m used to taking the bus— “

“But I’m already here anyway, come on, do you not trust my driving skills?” He joked and you let out an airy laugh, “Alright fine. I owe you one.”

“Nah, you already gave me your number.” He winked at you, throwing his bag over his shoulder, leading the way to the carpark with you slightly stunned from his flirtatious remarks.

The care ride with Jungkook was comfortable, slightly tense on your end at the start. Jungkook gave you the cable to play whatever music you wanted which made you slightly more comfortable. “I don’t know if we have the same music taste— “

“It’s alright, just play whatever you want.”

“O-Okay…”

Surprisingly, you and Jungkook didn’t have that much of a difference in differing taste, there were some songs that he didn’t know but found himself liking it. He himself was shocked to learn that you had similar taste in music.

Jungkook didn’t know why he felt so nervous having you in his car and driving you home. It was not like you were getting married. But why did he feel so nervous? Jungkook rarely flirted or showed interest in someone. His love was rugby - his sport - his life. He poured his heart and soul into the sport. But with you, he found that he couldn’t help flirting with you. It felt natural - It felt right.

Ironically, or maybe not, as he drove you home that night, Jungkook knew deep down, he was in it for the long ride.

—

Jimin held your hands tightly as you kept your eyelids shut. You could feel that your heart was about to jump out of your chest as you sat on the mat with Jimin, waiting for your coach to call out all the 20 names. It almost felt like you could feel your heartbeat in your head, the suspense and dragging was killing you.

Your hands clammy in Jimin’s but you did not have a single care as all you wanted in that moment was to make it to nationals.

“Jimin.”

You gasped, pulling Jimin in for a tight hug as he yelled in excitement. You were proud of your best friend; you knew that he would make mat and he deserved it.

Names were called and there were only 5 names left to be called, you grip on Jimin’s hands slackened as you started to accept that you won’t make it—

“Yn.”

You ears rang and you thought you were about to go deaf. Jimin’s loud but happy scream stunned you as you were pulled in for a suffocating hug this time.

The last 4 names were called and the final 20 had been made (subject to change).

Tears welled up in your eyes as memories of your gruelling training flashed through your mind. All the tiring practices and extra trainings with Jimin, the hardships and discipline all paid off.

Training went swimmingly, your coach running through sections of the choreography until it was time to wrap up. “Didn’t have the time to properly congratulate you.” Jimin said with a bright proud grin on his face as you left the gym.

“Thanks, Jimin! Hopefully we can stay on the 20 and compete together.”

“I’m confident we will.”

His eyes shifted away from you, and you followed his gaze to see Jungkook outside, once again, studying, alone this time. “Where’s Yoongi?” You asked as you both approached him.

“He gave up studying with me. Probably went home to crash after our practice today.”

Jimin eyed Jungkook’s facial expression suspiciously, eyes darting between you and Jungkook before he spoke, “I’m going book a ride and head home first yea? Text me when you’re home.” Jimin gives your shoulder a good squeeze before saying bye to you and Jungkook.

“What’s with the big smile on your face?” Jungkook questioned as he started packing his belongings. Your smile was contagious and Jungkook couldn’t help but smile as well as soon as he saw your bright expression.

“I got into the top 20!”

You squared like a little girl, once again excited from the thought of making it this season.

Jungkook abruptly stopped gathering his stuff, stepping away from the table, “Really? Congrats, yn!” He pulled you in for a hug which made your muscles stiffen but your arms automatically wrapped around him.

“I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks, Jungkook.” You chuckled as you pulled away from the embrace. Your mind was clouded, filled with a mixture of thoughts of making it to the Top 20 and how warm that hug felt. How it felt so ‘right’.

Over the past few weeks, it had become a routine, to have Jungkook studying outside the indoor gym and drive you home after practice. You always told him he didn’t need to send you home, but he never listened.

“Our qualifying match is next Friday, if we win, there’ll be an after party, are you free to come?”

“For the after party?”

“Yea, I mean, technically your whole cheer team usually come but since your nationals are coming, I’m assuming you would be too busy to come.”

“No no, I’ll come.”

“You will?” Jungkook’s face lit up and a bubbling feeling grew in your chest as you tried to ignore it. “Yea I will.”

—

Since Jungkook had his qualifying match around the corner, you stopped seeing him late at night outside the gym. You wouldn’t admit it out loud, but you missed seeing him after your practice.

Nonetheless, you would still spend the night texting him right before bed. It felt so easy to converse with him and you always looked forward to hear stories about his rugby practice and it felt nice to share about your cheer practice to him.

Friday quickly arrived and you decided to watch his match since the game was on your campus grounds. You took a seat somewhere in the middle of the bleachers and your eyes scanned the field to find Jungkook.

You recalled him explaining the positions of the backs and you found his number - 11. A smile crept unto your face as your eyes fixated on Jungkook. Your facial expression always scrunched up into a wince whenever you see them tackle each other during the game. You would let out a hiss as if you were the one sliding against the grass as Jungkook scored a point.

Nonetheless, it was fascinating to actually watch the game. Not surprisingly, after you understood the rules of the game, it was exciting to root for your college’s team. Maybe it was because you were rooting for a particular player, but you wouldn’t admit that to yourself just yet.

During half-time, your college’s team made their way back to the benches which was in front of where you sat. You didn’t bother shouting for his attention since you knew it was important to stay in the zone.

You sat at your spot, watching him, and you almost felt like a stalker. He was drenched in sweat, definitely going to have bruises or scratches from the game, you could see his chest move up and down as he took deep breaths to relax.

You felt your breath get caught in your throat when he had looked up and found your eyes amongst the crowd. Jungkook had been casually looking around the crowd to see if you really did come to watch his game.

He had texted you the night before about how he hoped you could come see his game now that you know how it actually worked. You told him no promises but had made sure you were free the afternoon to attend his game. Of course, you didn’t tell him that.

In an instant, his serious gaze broke into an inviting smile as he mouthed the words “hey” at your direction. You smiled back, returning the greeting while you hoped no one caught that moment between the two of you.

His coach called for their attention to remind them of their game plan but Jungkook was having a battle in his mind. The image of you smiling at the bleachers stayed as he tried to listen to his coach’s words. He knew the game plan, he was always on top the game. But seeing you watching him from the bleachers made him feel giddy but at least he also motivated him to do extra well. He wanted to look good in front of you.

And that’s exactly what he did.

He sent you text to wait for him to freshen up and you sat at your spot, enjoying the breeze as you waited for him to come back from his shower.

“You actually came.”

You looked up from your phone to see a wet-haired Jungkook approaching you with a lopsided grin. “Wanted to give support especially after all the times you sent me home after practice.”

Your phone vibrated as Jimin spammed you with messages when you stopped replying. Jimin had been asking about your whereabouts and you told him you were at the rugby game. He was upset since he would have tagged along to watch Yoongi if he knew you were going.

“Where’s Yoongi?”

Jungkook gestured with his thumb behind him, “Still showering. Is Jimin here?”

You chuckled, shaking your head, “He didn’t know I was coming to watch. I think he’ll attack me later at the party.”

“Sounds like a fun match to see.” He joked and you scoffed, “I’ll beat Jimin easily.”

“I’m sure, I’ll always be rooting for you.”

It sounded like another tease but his words caused nervous knots in your stomach. You deliberately ignored the feeling as you walked down the bleachers to his side, “Shall we get Yoongi and Jimin?”

“Yep, text me his address. We’ll pick him up once Yoongi is ready to go.”

Get ready, Jungkook’s picking you up - yn

I already look good, always ready - Jimin

Yoongi didn’t take long to come out of the showers and the three of you made your way in Jungkook’s car to pick Jimin up, all ready for the after party.

“I haven’t had dinner so I am ready for all the food.” Jimin groaned, clutching his stomach as he hopped off the car.

The four of you made your way up the driveway to see that the after party had started even earlier. “Looks like everyone couldn’t wait to party.” Yoongi commented as you entered through the main door, the loud typical party music blasting through the house.

It wasn’t a very packed party, lesser than the usual after parties but still plenty of people nonetheless.

There were already different groups engaging in different activities - gossiping, flirting, beer pong, truth or dare, Mario Kart and many more.

“Yn, you hungry? I heard Woohyun baked pasta for tonight.” Yoongi gestured to the kitchen. Before you could reply, Jungkook added on, “Someone’s barbecuing in the backyard though.”

“Barbecue?” You repeated, “Sounds delicious.” You turned your head back to Yoongi, “I’ll follow you guys after!”

Yoongi and Jimin made their way to the kitchen while you and Jungkook headed over to start your night with barbecue.

At the backyard, there was a swimming pool with a small lawn where the barbecue was. The two of you made your way to the table with the cooked food, helping yourself to dinner.

“This tastes amazing.” You moaned in delight after the first bite.

Jungkook laughed, “Come on,” He took an empty plate and grabbed a handful of barbecue sticks and kebabs, leading the way to the other side of the pool with one empty lounge chair.

You shared the plastic lounge chair, sitting beside Jungkook as you shared the plate. “So, how was my game?”

“To be honest,” You cleared your throat, “More interesting now that I know the game.”

He grinned like a happy high school boy, “That’s great to hear! Maybe you can watch more of my games or practices when you have the time.”

“We’ll see about that.” You teased, grabbing another stick to feed yourself.

“So, how’s your prep for nationals?”

“Tiring, one of our flyers got a concussion after a bad fall last night so she’s temporarily replaced. Our pyramid’s a mess.”

Jungkook lightly nudged your shoulders, “I’m sure it’ll turn out well. You guys are the defending champions.”

“I hope we can defend it this season.”

“Gotta think positively.” He winked at you and you returned a small smile. Silence fell upon you two as you noticed the lack of personal space between the both of you. It felt comfortable yet nerve-racking to be so close to him.

Was he uncomfortable with the closeness? Should you move away?

Just as you were about to scoot away, he spoke. “I’m really glad you came to my match tonight. It felt different.” He admitted rather shyly as his gaze dropped to the half empty plate.

“Different?”

Jungkook nodded his head, “Felt nice knowing there’s someone out there rooting for me.”

“There were lots of people rooting out for you.”

“Yea but, someone out there that I really want to impress.”

You didn’t have a reply, you weren’t sure how to reply. You decided to opt for a small encouraging pat on his shoulder before retracting your hand.

It didn’t seem much from an outsider’s perspective, but his words held a lot of weight. For the both of you. Almost as if you were about to cross a line - some line that you weren’t sure if you’re both ready to cross.

“Well,” He cleared his throat, standing up, “Shall we go find the two?”

“S-Sure.”

The two of you entered through the back door and was immediately blocked by his fellow team player, handing both of you a bottle of soju. “Gotta help us finish these, Jeon. Someone,” his eyes darted to another team player, “Accidentally ordered twice our usual order.”

“Damn.” Jungkook laughed in disbelief, “I’ll pull my weight then.”

“Great! You know what’s a perfect game for that? Spin the Bottle! You guys wanna play?”

Jungkook’s gaze darted to yours as you hesitated to reply.

“Come on Jeon, you always reject our games. Just this once, yea?”

He sighed, “A-Alright sure. Yn?”

You shook your head, “I’ll pass. Go have fun.” You patted his back as you excused yourself to the kitchen. There was a sour feeling knowing that Jungkook agreed to play Spin the Bottle, you avoided looking at the circle at the living area as you went to find Yoongi and Jimin guarding the snacks.

“Where’s Jungkook?”

“Spin the Bottle.” You plopped yourself down beside Jimin, chugging the soju bottle in your hand.

“Someone sounds affected.” Jimin teased, handing you a plate of pasta.

“No one’s affected.” You defended yourself as you grabbed a fork to eat the pasta, ignoring the feeling in your chest.

You had almost completely forgotten about Spin the Bottle as the three of you went on to talk about other things. You were laughing and enjoying your night with the two until you heard the familiar voice that made your muscles freeze.

“Any pasta left for me?”

You turned to look at Jungkook, “Enjoyed the game?”

“Pretty interesting,” He started and you immediately wanted to shut his voice out, “But would’ve been fun if you were in the game.” He winked at you before he took a plate for himself, acting as if he hadn’t said those words. You saw the empty soju bottle that he placed on the counter top and figured it was the alcohol talking so you decided to brush it off. It was probably the alcohol making him say such a brave statement in front of your friends.

Would something have happened if you agreed to play the game?

—

You realised that maybe he did decide to be more brave.

He started sitting in the gymnasium to watch your practices. Jimin would always inform you when he spotted Jungkook, insisting that he was here to watch you. Though you constantly denied, because you knew he knew a few of you guys from all the parties.

Somehow, you always felt his eyes were locked on you - his attention never leaving you no matter how chaotic the mat got. Every fall, every success, every break. You just knew he was looking at you.

The first practice you realised he was there, you approached him after practice ended.

“Hey Jungkook!”

“Why are you here?”

“Am I that unwanted? Looks like only Jimin is glad to see me here.”

“N-No,” You were caught off-guard, “I was just wondering—“

“I know, I’m kidding.” Jungkook chuckled, getting up from the bench, hopping down to stand right in front of you. “You came to my game, and I want to come see your practices. I haven’t actually seen how serious cheer can be.”

You hummed, “Alright then.” You tossed your damp towel over your shoulder. Jungkook reached out, “Let me take your bag. I saw how tiring practice was.”

“Jungkook it’s fine—“

“And you fell from that pyramid a couple of times. You better ice that bruise.” He pointed to the bruise on your shin. You had gotten the bruise when you knocked it against one of your teammate’s foot when you had fallen off the pyramid.

He had successfully snatched your duffel bag when you were distracted by the bruise on your shin. “Jungkook—“

“Come on, let the guy be a gentleman.” Jimin nudged your sides and you shot a light glare his way. “I already booked a ride and it’s here so I’ll head home first. Text me when you’re home, yea?” Jimin patted your shoulder before jogging off.

During the ride home, Jungkook shared how in awe he was during your practice. “I felt that same way watching your game too.” You admitted.

“I’m definitely watching nationals with Yoongi.”

“You don’t have to—“

“But I want to! I’m coming.”

Over the weeks, you learned even more about Jungkook.

Firstly, Jungkook was a really thoughtful individual.

He also loved going the extra mile. You knew his rugby training schedule since he shared it before. So you knew he was watching your late night sessions after his tiring ones on some days, yet still sat through all the way.

He didn’t attend all practices, but he didn’t have to. You always appreciated the times he came to watch and you made it a point to watch his trainings as well when you had nothing on.

Secondly, Jungkook was one of the most hardworking and disciplined individuals that you have met.

Every footwork drill, punishment or endurance runs, he took it seriously. He always gave it his 110%. Even when you knew he was near his limit, he never slacked.

Thirdly, Jungkook was cute when he was in the zone.

His eyebrows always scrunched together, sometimes he would bite his lip for extra concentration. He would whisper to himself after his attempts or runs, possibly correcting himself or encouraging himself.

You knew he was his harshest critic. You could see it in his training etiquette.

From an athlete to another, Jungkook was a very respectable athlete - in both fitness and character.

Eventually, this became routine between the both of you. You would watch each other’s practices whenever you had the time. Jimin and Yoongi had gotten used to the scene as well.

Both would tease the both of you separately, “Look who’s here.”

“Shut up.” You both would say to them, trying to fight the smile that wanted to break through.

“You know, people will start thinking that we’re dating.”

“That wouldn’t be a bad thing, now would it?” Jungkook tilted his head, a cheeky grin on his face as he tossed you a cold unopened bottle of water. His reply sent your heart fluttering. He knew his way with words.

“It’ll kill your popularity with the public. Everyone will lose hope and stop pining after you.” You said dramatically after taking a big gulp of the refreshing water.

“Still don’t see how that’s a bad thing.”

“You know, you’re a real flirt Jeon Jungkook.”

He grinned cheekily, “Only when I want to.”

He definitely knew his way with words, and possibly, his way to your heart.

—

Jungkook started asking you out for lunch and dinner over the weeks, including the weekends. It was refreshing seeing you two not dripping in sweat from training. And he cleaned up well.

Although the rugby finals and cheer nationals were just around the corner, you both tried to find spare time to hang out. It felt like a stress-reliever. You both needed it. Jungkook knew he needed and wanted it. He always wanted to see you.

You were both at an open field, lying next to each other, bodies facing up as you enjoyed the night sky. Silence engulfed the both of you as you relished the tranquility of the night.

With hectic schedules, you appreciated times like this when you didn’t have to think about something so serious like competitions and expectations.

You were grateful that you made it to the Final 20 but it was still stressful knowing that there are high expectations for your team to defend your title.

It was the same for Jungkook.

“This feels great, doesn’t it?” He was the first to break the silence.

You turned just your head to admire his side profile as his eyes remained glue to the starry night.

“It does.”

Jungkook paused before continuing the conversation, “You know, I didn’t actually play Spin the Bottle that night. I just drank every time it was me, just wanted to please Woohyun.”

Confused, you weren’t sure why Jungkook had brought that up out of the blue. “Why are you—”

“I just wanted you to know. Felt like you had to know.” He shrugged his shoulders, pressing his lips into a tight line. “Didn’t want to send mix signals.”

“Mix signals?” You turned around, lying on top of your stomach as you got up on your forearms. You had a hunch of where this conversation was heading, but you didn’t like to be one making assumptions. Jungkook turned his head to face you, “I’m into you. I always like being with you and I hope you feel the same way.”

Nothing came out of your mouth. You were stunned by his sudden confession. Your eyes remained on his face as he kept a soft smile, with not a single ounce of regret on his face.

“I… I like being with you too.” You replied shyly, shuffling back down to lie down on your back next to him, not daring to make eye contact.

Next to you, Jungkook let out a short chuckle. He decided not to push it for that night. But it was enough to know that things were going right between the two of you.

“I never shared this with anyone but, sometimes, I do feel like quitting rugby.”

You were taken aback by his sudden change in topic but didn't to roll with it

“Why?”

He took a while to respond, formulating his thoughts into sentences. “The expectations get too much sometimes, especially as one of the labelled star players.” He scoffed, as if he was laughing at the term, or himself.

“I’m sure as the Final 20 in cheer you feel that expectation as well.”

You didn’t give a verbal reply, only nodding your head as you turned your head back to face up to the sky.

Jungkook didn’t need a verbal reply, he knew you felt the same.

“It’s suffocating. But right now, I feel like I can take a deep long breath, and not worry about making a mistake or slowing down.”

Just as he said that, he took a deep inhale, letting out his breath through is mouth.

“That felt good to let out. I never wanted to share this with others because I’m afraid they’ll think that I’m taking my position and skills for granted.”

“Yea I get what you’re saying.” You assured him and he smiled, turning his head to face you. You heard the shuffling sounds and you decided to face him as well, momentarily freezing when your eyes finally met his.

“But it feels like I can talk to you about anything. It feels nice to talk to you, yn.”

You were once again lost for words, feeling your cheeks grow hot as your eyes remained locked in his gaze.

“I feel safe with you.”

—

It was the final championship match for rugby. Your cheer team was once again there, to root for your college - you and Jimin were specifically rooting for Yoongi and Jungkook.

The whole venue was excruciatingly loud and tense. Both colleges with great support backing them. The match was very close and you could tell how they seemed more tired than other games. The nerves and the physical demand was getting to them.

Your coach yelled, calling their hands to get your attention. “Come on guys, time to boost their morale”

With your pom poms in your hands, your cheer team gathered, facing your side of the bleachers, enthusiastically cheering the campus cheers and getting the crowd to join in.

It was followed by simply stunts and routines to get the atmosphere more lively and ready for the game to resume.

As the players passed by your team, you all wished them good luck.

“Good luck, Yoongi!”

“Good luck, Jungkook!” You exclaimed encouragingly, shaking both your pom poms his way as he turned around to see you. He winked at you, mouthing the words ‘thank you’ before they made their way to the field.

“You’re drooling.”

Jimin’s voice taunted you from the side, You elbowed his side, “You’re doing the same.”

“Touche.”

As the timer reaches the end, your side erupted in the loudest of cheers, you happily screaming along with the crowd. This win felt different from all the different times your cheer team supported them. Your college managed to defend their title, winning the championship for the season.

When the players returned to the benches and huddled for a group photo together, Jimin whispered, “Why don’t you go up and congratulate him?”

“Hush, Jimin, not in front of everyone.”

“Come on, don’t be shy. I know you like him.”

“We’re just close friends.”

Jimin scoffed, his index finger pointing to you and himself, “You and I are close friends. You and Jungkook however, are idiots who don’t want to admit that you guys like each other.”

“Shut it!” You sighed, lightly hitting him with your pom poms. When you turned around, Jungkook had already made his way to you. “You were cheering really hard back there.”

“Just for you.”

Just for me?” He raised his eyebrows, a smug look on his face as he stepped closer, “Yoongi’s gonna be devastated knowing that—“

“Actually my cheers were for Yoongi but I didn’t want you to feel upset or forgotten.”

Jungkook frowned and you really wished you had the guts to just kiss him right there, your eyes flickering to his pink soft lips.

“I’m kidding, don’t cry, not when you just became a champion.”

Jungkook laughed heartily before leaning towards your ear, “I’m already a champion having you on my side to cheer me on.”

—

Attention immediately shifted to your team for the upcoming nationals which was just a week after Jungkook’s finals.

You guys had constant past few runs leading up to the final day and everything felt like it would go well. The biggest obstacle was controlling your mental state during the day itself.

The night before, Jungkook had sent you a lengthy good luck message as he reminded you that he would be there.

You slept peacefully that night and woke up to read his message in the morning once again. You had your own cheerleader this time.

Everything seemed to go by quickly, the warm ups and runs backstage while waiting for your team’s turn. You had not met Jungkook or Yoongi since you were preparing backstage with your team, focused on getting into the right mental state.

Your heart almost jumped out of your chest when it was finally your team’s turn to perform.

The sun was scorching hot and there were many spectators. You stood in formation with your teammates as you waited for the song to play.

It felt way different than last season. Even though you were there last season to support the performing team, it truly felt different to be the one about to perform on the mat. With all eyes on you, carefully watching for any mistakes or mishaps. The heat already making you sweat when you stepped onto the stage.

But once the music played, that was all you could focus on.

Bright smiles plastered on all your faces as you went through the routine. A silent celebration in your head every time your team successfully pulled off a stunt.

Quick gazes made on the mat as you constantly changed formation. Encouraging looks and the sounds of the encouragement on the mat from your teammates to get you through the routine.

And just like that - it was your ending pose. Heavy pants surrounding you as your gaze locked on the audience. You all broke character afterwards, squealing and hugging each other for not screwing up the pyramid and the routine.

It felt good.

In fact, it felt amazing.

Jimin yelled your name, pulling you in for a tight hug, “We did it!”

“I know!”

Once all the teams had finished, the top 2 teams were announced and your college name was called out.

In front of the entire crowd, you hold intertwined your hands, head hung low and eyes shut right as you awaited for the results. The cheerleader holding the 2nd prize trophy walked back and forth between the two college teams as the announcer evilly drags on the result.

Your heartbeat was pounding loudly and you could feel it in your head, all your hands clasped together were clammy from nervous sweat.

Jungkook’s hopefully eyes stayed locked on your figure as he waited for announcements from the crowd.

The other college was called and your entre team’s knees went weak, buckling as some immediately fell to the ground.

Deafening screams erupted as you were pulled into a big group hug, you guys had just defended your title.

Your team was the reigning national champion once again.

Tears were falling as everyone congratuler each other. Your coach and assistant coach ran up to mat to join the group hug as your team proudly accepted the winning trophy.

You had made your way off the stag to reunite with the other cheer members as the public slowly started to approach you for a team photo.

With tears all over your faces, you posed for the group photos as thanked all your teammates with a big hug.

“Yn!”

You heard his voice amongst the chaos.

You felt yourself immediately searching for the familiar pair of eyes in the crowd. The moment your eyes landed on him, you rushed up towards him, his arms wide open ready to accept you.

Jungkook pulled you in for tight embrace, repeatedly saying “congrats, you did it, I know you guys would win”. Tears flowed down your face once again still not believing what had just happened.

It felt so surreal and yet being in Jungkook’s embrace felt even more surreal. It was as if you were in a dream.

“Congrats yn!” You heard Yoongi’s voice from behind Jungkook.

You pulled away to see not only Yoongi but the entire rugby team with him. They were cheering proudly, chanting your college’s name with pride. Your eyes immediately farted back to Jungkook who had kept his arms around you.

“Did you…?”

“Yes, I convinced everyone to come. They’d be missing on such a stellar performance.”

As if your grin couldn’t get any bigger, your broke into a euphoric laugh, “You’re amazing.”

“You’re calling me amazing? After what your team had just displayed back there? You must be blind—“

Maybe it was the adrenaline rush, the high influx of dopamine from winning the competition and from being in his embrace. It didn’t matter, when your lips met his, you knew that was all that mattered at that moment.

You felt Jungkook lean into the kiss, his arms pulling you closer to his body. Both of you could hear your cheer team behind you and Jungkook’s rugby team behind him, both cheering your names.

You guys laughed into the kiss when you heard Yoongi and Jimin loudly expressed their thoughts. “It’s about time.”

“I swear I thought they’ll never get to this stage.”

—

His bright and welcoming smile never failed to make your day, no matter how tired you were. You never thought that you’d love going for rugby practices and matches. It was the complete opposite scenario from the beginning of the year.

But now, it never got boring to watch your boyfriend get into his sport. You would always tell him that he looked attractive when he was serious. You enjoyed doing that because it always made him fluster and fumble over his words.

“I-I don’t… Nah… I don’t look cute when I’m serious.” He would adjust the neckline of his shirt, trying to maintain a nonchalant expression on his face.

“You’re finally done.” You made your way down the bleachers, “I’ve been thinking about dessert the past 30 minutes.”

Jungkook nodded his head, extending his arms out to pull you into a sweaty hug. He placed a light kiss on your forehead, pulling back slightly to get a better view of your face.

“Ice cream?”

Deja Vu.

You remembered the first night you hung out with Jungkook after meeting him at the after party. When you were at the bus stop ready to go home.

The first time he had his heart broken, Jeon Jungkook had been 13 years old. He was fresh out of middle school and so ready to face his freshman year with an impressionable mind and plenty of voice cracks to earn him months worth of teasing. You see, at the age of 13, Jungkook wasn’t something to swoon over. He had yet to grow into his ears and Dr. Park assured him that his braces would be off as soon as she could get them. He was a little lanky and a bit too reticent to be considered social. So when a girl in his grade comes up to him, nervous and stuttering, and asks him to go to the heavily romanticized homecoming dance, Jungkook has already come to the conclusion that she might be his soulmate, even if he was far too young to get his mark yet. 

Her name was Mina, and Jungkook is confronted with this memory every time he visits home and his mother makes the family flip through the photo albums dating back to his high school years. He grimaces every time he sees the picture of them together. Him in a pink button-up to match her offensively ugly ruffled taffeta dress. 

Mina broke up with him three months after that picture was taken, through one of her friends no less and in front of his entire gym class. Jungkook couldn’t remember how long he cried for while he felt the pain from his first heartbreak would never go away, regardless of how much time passes. He held onto his mother and sobbed out the agony and humiliation of Mina not wanting to be his girlfriend anymore, and how he had lost his soulmate before he even knew it was her. His mother assured him that without the mark, there was no way to be sure and that there was hope. But back then, all Jungkook could think of was ways to avoid Mina the next day, especially when they sat next to each other in 3rd period biology.  

At 13 years old, Jungkook thought he would never find love again. 

He is 18 when he stands alongside his parents in a pale examination room and awaits his destiny. He’s leaving for college the next day, yet the only thing that’s making him nervous is the mark that will inevitably appear on his wrist in the next few minutes. The same one he would find on his soulmate’s, and Jungkook wonders if there is the possibility of scaring everyone away when the first thing he’ll ask on a date is: can I please see your wrist? 

To say the least, Jungkook is petrified. Because that mark on his wrist is going to serve as a constant reminder of his missing piece, and Jungkook knows he’ll always feel lacking until he finds them. It’s a crescent moon. Small and black and nestled comfortably on his skin. He knows many times the marks don’t have any correlation with the couples, but Jungkook wonders if you are an astrologist. Or an astronaut. Or just had a weird affinity for the moon. He smiles when they congratulate him and can’t stop himself from thinking that he might be in love with you already. Wherever you are. When he leaves for university, he feels less lonely when there is a crescent moon to accompany him. 

Contrary to the beliefs of his 13-year old self, Jungkook does fall in love again. Hard. This time, it was a girl with brown hair and big eyes and a smile so pretty he could see it from across a crowded room. She was a grade below him; a frazzled college freshman with no clue to where her lecture hall was, and he: a sophomore who had a compulsion of changing his major every other month. When he met her, it had been chemical engineering and three weeks before that was film composition. Her name was Yoojung, 18 years old while he was 19.

 Her soulmate mark is a single star, and even though he knows she is not his soulmate, he can’t help but to think how perfectly their marks complement each other. How they would make a perfect night sky. 

They had met at a frat party, no less, and the combination of cheap booze and bad hiphop music had made her look so incredibly gorgeous under the dim lighting. They had their first kiss in a random person’s living room, highly intoxicated and much too irresponsible and Jungkook had barely even remembered it in the morning until she showed up at his doorstep and invited herself in. Yet it wasn’t too long before he made a perfect space for Yoojung in his life.

 Each day after his physics lecture, he’d go to her dorm and they’d chat over breakfast until she had economics at 10 o’ clock. After she was done, he’d insist that they go get a greasy hamburger at the joint his friends took him to when they got high and, she’d end up dragging them both to the health food restaurant that prided themselves on only using organic. Leave it to Jungkook to find himself a vegan girlfriend. 

Sometimes though, when he looks at Yoojung, his mind drifts to his actual soulmate and a little flower named guilt blooms in his chest. But he is so young and his other half could be anywhere in the world, so Jungkook thinks there is no harm in allowing himself to indulge in a little affection. These days, it wasn’t completely abnormal for soulmates to part ways, and when Yoojung is in his arms, Jungkook likes to think that his soulmate would understand. They would want him to be happy. In the middle of synchronizing their busy student schedules and sneaking in quick kisses through cramming for finals, he had found it unnervingly easy to fall in love with her. 

Deeply and blindly in love. 

Yoojung brought him home to her family on fall breaks and the occasional winter vacation and Jungkook had melded perfectly into their dynamic. The son I never had, her father would tell him over the dinner table while her mother constantly made sure his plate was piled high. Her little sister was visibly in love with him, and would ask Yoojung where he was every time she came home from university, yet avoiding him at all costs when he was there. 

Jungkook’s own family, however, was a different story. To put it delicately, they had liked it more when he came home by himself and left her at school. It had put a strain on their relationship sure, but at the end of the day, Jungkook loved her. A simple love. 

Every day he remembers that their marks do not match. But if this is love and he feels like he is on cloud 9 with every moment they are together, Jungkook begins to doubt if the universe’s will is truly divine and successful. Maybe Yoojung was his soulmate and it did not matter what was on their wrists. 

He loved her intensely, and she did him. She was the first thing on his mind when he woke up and manifested in his dreams when he slept at night. To Jungkook, Yoojung could do no wrong. Like some sort of divine being or angel that the heavens sent just for him, and he found himself thinking maybe he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life beside her. 

But he would come to learn that the higher the climb...the harder the fall. 

Jungkook and Yoojung were together for the better part of 4 years before she cheated on him with a guy that she’d supposedly met a couple weeks ago. When Jungkook screams at her asking why she had been disloyal, Yoojung shows him her wrist. Her single inked star. 

“I found my soulmate, Jungkook. And I love you so much, you know I do. I didn’t know how to tell you so I…”

The rest of her words fade into white noise and all Jungkook can do is look at her and commit every detail to memory as he feels her fade farther away. Her teary and remorseful brown eyes. Her plush lips. The fan of her eyelashes and the mole on the side of her temple. He’ll never get to see her like this again. 

“I was ready to be with you, soulmate or not. I know it’s not fair but I wanted the same from you”, he whispers, falling down on the couch and burying his face in his hands. 

“Soulmates be damned, the universe was wrong. I was so hideously in love with you. How could you not at least tell me when you met him?” Jungkook feels his heart collapsing in on itself with every word of resignation. Of burgeoning acceptance. Yoojung can only mirror his desolate expression and stares down at the star on her skin.

 Jungkook wishes it were a moon. 

“Just go, Yoojung.” 

It would have hurt less if it was only a one night stand with a stranger she did not know the name of. He was in love and spineless enough to move past a one night stand. However, Yoojung had found her soulmate and fallen in love with him. Jungkook had merely acted as a placeholder for the real deal to come along and sweep her off her feet. 

This time he doesn’t cry. Just stares out the window of his living room and wonders what it would be like to disappear altogether. When the door is slammed shut, and he is left to nurse his aching soul, Jungkook apologizes in advance to the person that shares the same mark on their wrist as him. He no longer believes that soulmates exist. 

When Jungkook looks back at his 13 year old self with the innocent construct of what heartbreak feels like, he wants to laugh and maybe slap that stupid boy upside the head. Yoojung had destroyed him. Destroyed the innocent and starry-eyed person that he’s tried so hard to preserve. Destroyed his vulnerability and bright outlook on life and in their place, cultivated walls of rock and steel meant to keep everyone out and him safely tucked inside. In her wake, Yoojung left behind a shell of a man who pushed his emotions so deep he became numb and forgot what it was like to feel. 

So Jungkook does what he always does to push away the hurt. He changes his major; to art history this time. He stacks up bracelets on his wrist to forget the mark of a moon. He scrapes up his rainy day money and treats himself to the most expensive pair of Saint Laurent boots he’s ever worn. He tests the limits of the human liver, and takes advantage of the biceps and jawline he’s acquired since high school to establish a reputation. 

To his friends, Jungkook remained raucous and always down to order infinite rounds of shots until he couldn’t see straight. To those that looked even closer, Jungkook was so completely shattered he didn’t even feel it anymore. 

The second time he had his heart broken, Jungkook was 23. He promised himself he wouldn’t let it happen again. 

◐

“For the last time, Jimin, I’m not going to give you a blowjob so you can pay for my student loans.”

You don’t know how many times you’ve had this conversation with your roommate. Most of the time, it was convenient to have a roommate whose parents were loaded and sent him monthly installments that looked more like small loans than allowances. You knew he just wanted to help. Heck, he probably would be willing to pay them off for you without the promiscuous favor, but you had made it clear to Jimin that you wouldn’t be riding off of his charity. 

“Ugh, Y/N you’re really no fun”, he sighs, falling backwards onto your twin-sized bed and feigning devastation. You reward his melodrama with a giggle, ruffling your hands through his fried hair. Jimin had a knack for changing his hair color as quickly as his mood. 

You look at the bill that’s staring back at you from your computer screen, and it feels like it’s just reached out and punched you in the face. “Hey do you think it’s a common mistake for bank tellers to add a few too many zeroes?” 

“Y/N.” 

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m rationalizing as a self-defense mechanism.” Sometimes it was annoying that your roommate had a degree in psychology. Then again, Jimin was making more money than you and your degree in English. 

You sigh deeply and look up at the ceiling in attempts to quell your tears of frustration. And also because it is a plea to whoever is up there controlling your destiny: please I’m begging you. Melt my debt away. 

You and Jimin sit in comfortable silence and he plays with the hem of your worn comforter while you scroll through the emails you have been ignoring in your inbox. You want to smash your head in at all the deadlines. Times like these, there is one thing that brings you comfort and always has since you turned 18. 

The quaint little crescent moon that sits right atop your radius. 

You had a habit of pressing your thumb against it and feeling your pulse against the mark, stupidly wondering if your soulmate’s heartbeat has synched up with your own. If he was out there somewhere, touching his mark and wondering the same about you. He was taking his sweet time, that’s for sure. Jimin sees your nervous tic and sighs again.

“You’re so hopelessly romantic it makes me want to barf, Y/N.” You scowl at his words and chuck a pillow at his unsuspecting face. 

“I don’t understand you, Jimin. Your soulmate is out there and you’re not the slightest bit curious? You don’t want to do anything extra to find them?” Jimin looks at you with a knowing smile.

“That’s exactly it, though. I know they’re my soulmate and I’ll find them when the time is right. So why worry about it? It’s better not to force anything.” His statement is followed up with a grin and his fingers reach out to pinch your cheeks. This was the dynamic of your friendship. He is easy-going and flows like a careless river. You’ve read one too many books to not vie and daydream for the moment you lock eyes with your soulmate. 

Your mom always said that you’ll know just from a look. It’s like getting hit over the head with a ray of sun, she said. Like suddenly their eyes are the only eyes you ever want to look into again. Since then, you’ve dreamt for the day you find someone with that same moon on their wrist. For now though, you had more immediate concerns more along the lines of crippling debt. 

“What do I do, Jimin? Should I be a stripper?” He laughs and the thought makes you groan. You couldn’t even walk in heels, much less try to dance or look like you didn’t have two left feet. Stripper life just wasn’t for you. 

“Hm...I could call in a few favors for you at the office. Get you an internship or secretary position.” 

“Maybe. Too much nepotism. Your father owns the office you work at”, you remind him, and his eyebrows crease further in thought. God, maybe you do have to be a stripper.

“Wait!” Jimin yelps so suddenly you almost fling the computer off your lap. 

“I think I know someone. He’s been looking for a model for his art portfolio or something, and he said he’s willing to pay.” Jimin reaches for his phone and his thumbs type up a storm while you watch from the sideline. 

“I think he mentioned it’s about a month-long project. You’d just have to be on call whenever a stroke of genius arrives.” 

“That sounds great! I’m an amazing model!” you crow, to which Jimin giggles again.

“The several candids I have in my camera roll tell a different story, Y/N.” Naturally, he receives another pillow to the face. But you follow up with a cheery kiss to his cheek as you rejoice in the new opportunity for cash flow by a celebratory dance, which looks more like a wiggle when you remain seated on your bed. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”, you chirped, “I owe you one.”

“Hey...I know how you can repay me.”

 When you look towards him, his eyebrows are raised inquisitively and there’s a devilish smirk on his lips.

Jimin gets a third pillow to his face that day. 

◓

Jungkook’s favorite type of arguments to get into is whether Neo-classicism or post-impressionism had the most impact on European art and architecture. Call him a snob, but he loves to prattle on about Degas and Caillebotte until his opponent tires or concedes out of pure exhaustion. Jungkook regards it as a battle strategy: bore your enemy so that they stop fighting. 

He’s in the middle of a heated debate with his classmate from graduate school when he receives a phone call from Park Jimin. Now, Jungkook has no idea how or when Jimin became an installment in his life, or how he’s roped his way into his inner circle. He just remembers waking up one day with a killer hangover and finding that there was a pink-haired stranger lying on his floor. When he tried to shoo him out, the stranger shoved a wad of money in his shirt pocket, muttering “just five more minutes”, and Jungkook was in no position to deny easy cash. Jungkook now considers Jimin one of his close friends. 

“What’s up, Jiminie?” He laughs into the microphone. 

“I told you not to call me that, you brat. I’m older than you.” 

“I’m taller than you.”

“My dick is bigger.”

“I-okay fine you got me there.” He hears Jimin wheeze over the line as he tries to rein himself in to say what he needs to say. 

“In all seriousness, though. I have a proposition for you.” Jimin lilts in a mischievous tone, which makes Jungkook nervous enough to get up from the café table he had been sitting at with his friend and careen to a quieter corner. 

“Shoot.”

“Okay, so you know how you were telling me about your portfolio for the gallery. The one you have to submit by the end of the season? How you needed a model on call 24/7 in case inspiration struck?” 

Jungkook wants him to spit it out because he has been searching high mountains and low valleys for someone that would be willing to be his muse for a month or two. Constantly at his beck and call so he can finish this damn portfolio and get his name out there in the art world. Maybe start debating post-impressionism with the cream of the crop. 

“I think I’ve found someone to do that for you.” Jungkook exhales in relief at his words.

“She’s my roommate and she’s super low on cash and unemployed with a bachelor’s in English literature, so she’s got time to spare.” Perfect. That way, Jungkook can call her whenever he needs to.

“That’s amazing, Jiminie. Can she meet me at the art building tomorrow at noon? We can start right away.” Jungkook breathes through the phone, a small weight coming off his shoulders now that another thing had been accomplished. One less thing he had to worry about on the journey to his goal. Jimin confirms the plans and they exchange pleasantries before Jungkook hangs up as the man on the other line starts screaming about his burning lunch on the stove. 

Jungkook catches sight of the mark on his wrist when he looks down, and quickly rearranges his bracelets so that it is once again covered to his eyes. Out of sight and out of mind. 

The gallery portfolio had been a thorn in his side. It had been months in the making and if he allows himself to reminisce, Jungkook remembers the nights he and Yoojung stayed up until dawn and talked about his blossoming interest in art. How he wanted a space of his own to display his works. Back then, she listened to him with stars in her eyes and basked in the afterglow of post-coital cuddling, promising that she would help him achieve it. 

His heart sinks at the memory of the imprint of her tresses of hair spilling on his bedspread. He burned those sheets the second she left. 

Jungkook represses his intrusive thoughts about Yoojung and wills her to get out of his head. He forces it down until it feels like he’s just dumped ice water over his heart and vomited out any semblance of emotion. He makes his way back to the cafe table with a sly smile that hides the internal ache he’s promised himself to never let anyone suspect of. 

“So what were you saying about Renoir’s Moulin de la Galette?”

◑

The art building is situated besides a library, with a bakery flanking its left. Two years spent at the university, and you’ve never once stepped foot there. Maybe it was the daunting abstract sculpture on the front lawn or the prejudices you held against annoying art snobs on their high horses, but you often found yourself subconsciously avoiding the space in intimidation. 

“Okay, Y/N, you’re going to do this so you can pay off your loans”, you whisper under your breath, words meant for your ears and no one else’s. “And if he asks you to pose nude, you run the opposite direction.” 

It was easy to get lost in the building. For art students that know how to draw, they really took advantage of abstractionism to make the most confusing map you had ever seen in your life. Luckily, with some direction from the vapid front desk secretary and some intuition, you were able to to find room 62B. You don’t think you’ll be able to forget the number 62B if you tried, Jimin had screamed it to you so many times as you left the apartment. 

The door soundlessly opens with a nudge of your hand and you stick your head inside.

“You know when Jimin told me he found me a model, he didn’t mention her lack of punctuality.” His voice is calm and subdued with no lingering annoyance, even if his words are uncourteous. You whip around to him and the first sight you see of Jeon Jungkook is merely a tuft of brown hair behind a vast canvas. And some expensive looking leather boots that anchor his feet to the ground. 

You clear your throat and approach with an outstretched hand and the shiniest smile you can muster. 

“I’m Y/N. Jimin’s roommate. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You can call me Jungkook.”

It is when he steps out from behind the canvas that you finally understand what your mother meant when she said meeting your soulmate feels like getting hit over the head with a ray of sunshine. You can’t describe it any other way, but that’s exactly what it feels like. Like the air becomes so sweet in your lungs it turns to viscous honey. Like suddenly the person standing in front of you is Valentine, encapsulated. 

You know he feels it too, yet you don’t know why he forces himself to remain blasé, and if you hadn’t seen his widened eyes and heard the gasp from his lips you would have never suspected anything at all. Stranger courtesy is abandoned and you forcefully grab his wrist, turning it over to find his mark while pulling up your sleeve to reveal your own. 

A little black crescent moon.

Right on the pulse point.

Just like your’s. 

When you finally muster up the nerve to look into his eyes again, you wonder if it is healthy for the human heart to beat so fast and so thunderously it feels ready to jump out of your chest. Jungkook, however, still wears that same expression on his face. Flat and cold, not even a glimmer in his eyes. He stares at you disinterested and wrenches his wrist from your grasp. 

“Wait, Jungkook...aren’t you….”, you sputter through a desperate smile, “aren’t you happy?” He stays silent and trains his attention on the canvas in front of him, but you can see the conflict that swirls in his iris. 

“I’ve been looking for you for so long! And I’ve finally found you. In the art building no less, just my luck that-”

“Y/N, I don’t know what you expect from me but I’m not looking for anything right now.” 

There were no objectively ugly words. But you think the ones that have just spewed from Jungkook’s lips come pretty close. They stoke a fire in your chest.

“What do you mean? We’re soulmates”, you faltered, sinking deeper into confusion as you stare at the unaffected man in front of you, whose only concern is the conglomerate of paint on his palette. 

Jungkook sighs monotonously. Almost as if he had better things to do than be here.

“It’s only a mark on your wrist. And we just happen to have the same one. Amazing that you still think somehow one single person was made entirely just for you.” His words are bored and he doesn’t even have the decency to look you in the eye when he speaks. You think you might want to punch him if you weren’t so speechless.

“Look”, he sighs as if you were inconveniencing him, “I’m not going to sugarcoat it and tell you that I’m the one you’ve been looking for this whole time. We have the same mark, but...I’m not the guy you want.”

“B-But...I’m your soulmate. We-we’re made for each other.”

Jungkook scoffs harshly, and you want to sink into the ground. “That’s just a silly myth.” 

“So you don’t...believe in soulmates?” The words felt wrong to say when all your life, finding your soulmate felt like the ribbon at the end of the finish line. But here he was now, and you felt so small under his gaze. Like you weren’t meant to be there and standing in the same room with him was a concoction for heartbreak.

“No.”

Jungkook’s syllable pangs in your ear, and you think it might be your least favorite sound. Then you leave. And if it was hard for you to meet your soulmate - the person who you’re destined to be with - who doesn’t believe in you, then walking away from him was a different cross to bear. 

You take the bus home and ignore the glare of strangers when you burst into tears at a red light, and cry the rest of the way back. Your mother hadn’t described this. She prosed on and on about the feeling one gets after finding a soulmate but never mentioned to you how it feels when you find out they want nothing to do with you. What do you do when you realize the person you’ve been chasing for forever has been trying to run away at the same time? 

Jimin holds you together that night on your bedroom floor, while you break apart and scratch at the moon on your wrist until your skin breaks. He listens to the words you sputter; as much as he can decipher when they are drowned out by the painful sound of your sobbing. Jungkook’s beliefs bleed into your consciousness. Perhaps he is right and perhaps there is no such thing as true soulmates, and the marks are obsolete. 

However, when you fall asleep in your friend’s arms from the physical fatigue of violent crying and the sheer mental exhaustion of meeting Jeon Jungkook, your mind comes to a more painful conclusion. 

A more truthful conclusion.

Your soulmate only needed to meet you to decide that he did not want you.

◒

Jungkook doesn’t believe in soulmates. He thinks they’re a stupid coy to give people false hope. An illusion to feign happiness and to take Yoojung away from someone she genuinely loved. Though in the hours of the night, when he is by himself and the bed feels too big for one body, Jungkook wonders if there is truly a reason why someone has an identical moon on their wrist. But he is still so broken and unhealed from the wounds Yoojung left behind.

 So instead of soulmates, he thinks about what she must be doing. If she’s eating well. If she’s moved in with her own soulmate and if they’re happy together. Jungkook is an involuntary masochist and he pays for it with every pillowcase that becomes stained with his tears. 

He sighs out an expletive after downing a shot of whiskey, relishing in the familiar burn as it slides down his throat. Alcohol doesn’t seem to be working efficiently, though. He’s only barely tipsy after years in college building tolerance, and he can still see your face each time he blinks. Like you are imprinted on the back of his eyelids. Jungkook wonders why Jimin had cancelled on the group tonight. 

There is a little devil called remorse and it stands atop his shoulder, unseen by everyone but him, and Jungkook decides he will get rid of it by calling another round of shots. From his seat in the dirty booth, he can see Min Yoongi and his soulmate practically dry humping on the dance floor. If anyone asks him if he ever gets jealous seeing soulmates happy and in love, he’ll laugh in their face and tell them he pities people like that. People that are so blinded by the system. But loneliness is a stern mistress and it makes him think of you. How lovely the moon looks on your wrist. How your hand felt so warm when it caressed against his skin. 

He tips his head back again. Vodka this time.

“Dude, are you okay?” 

To his right comes Kim Taehyung, designated driver extraordinaire, and he looks at Jungkook with friendly concern laced with amusement. Jungkook nods contentedly. 

“Soulmates are so bullshit, Tae”, he snickers, fingers tracing the rim of the shot glass and smirk on his face to mask the bitterness of both the alcohol and his heart. Taehyung spares a knowing glance, resting a hand on his friend’s shoulder with the weight of knowledge of Jungkook’s past. 

The night is young and so is he. He drinks until he can no longer taste the liquor and forgets altogether about what had happened only a couple of hours before. Until the crescent mark on his skin just looks like a shapeless black blob, and it makes him smile. He thinks he likes it better that way. 

Taehyung drops him home and personally tucks him into bed while he is still in jeans and his shirt smells like the bar. His sleep is dreamless that night. When the morning comes and his friends tease him about how he begged Taehyung not to leave, Jungkook will laugh and blame the alcohol for his foggy memory. He won’t tell them that he does remember, and that he was only grasping at any warm body to soothe his aching loneliness.

◐

Usually when he first opens his eyes in the morning, Jungkook is thinking about the next class he has to attend and if he is late (which is usually most of the time). This morning, albeit morbidly hungover, Jungkook thinks of the apple strudels they sell at the bakery next to the art building. Mrs. Kim always gets the pastry to filling ratio just right. But when he opens the door with a jubilant smile on his face and the scent of baked goods already in his nostrils, Jungkook has a feeling apple strudels will have to wait. 

There you are. In all your messy-haired glory, huffing like a caged bull in the doorway of his apartment, fiery gaze directed completely at him and all he can think to say is:

“How do you know where I live?” Jungkook schools his face expressionless in your presence. He hopes this will discourage you, but it only makes you angrier. 

“Park Jimin”, you snarl. 

Of fucking course, it’s always Park Jimin. Jimin who drunkenly sleeps in his bedroom and now Jimin who is leaking his address to any stranger.

“Um”, Jungkook stammers and takes a step back, “what are you doing here? Didn’t I get my point through yesterday?” He can see the statement catching you off guard, and the fury in your eyes dwindles to dejection. Only for a millisecond though, before you are aiming your wrath at him once again. 

You take a deep breath. “What is wrong with you?” 

Jungkook can think of a lot of answers to that query. He opts to interpret it as a rhetorical question and keep his mouth shut. 

“You just...found your soulmate! I’m your soulmate! And you don’t even want to get to know me? At all?”, you scream exasperatedly. Jungkook catches the gaze of a middle aged lady who is not-so-discreetly staring at the two of you, and pulls you inside his apartment by your arm. If you weren’t so frustrated, you would have been flustered at the physical contact. 

“Listen. Soulmates don’t end up together all the time. I’ve told you I’m not really interested in anything right now and it’s not a priority”, he takes a breath through his passionate monologue, “and I’m sorry that that’s not something you expected, but I….don’t want a soulmate.”

Maybe...he just doesn’t want you. 

When he says them out loud to a living breathing person, Jungkook realizes how cruel it sounds. He can see it in the way your eyes have become glossy under his living room lights and the way you shrink into yourself as self-defense against his blows. He rationalizes that he’d rather tell you the truth than lie to you now, only to hurt you later. Really, he’s doing you a kindness. Right?

You turn your back to him to gather your thoughts, and wipe the tears that you refuse to let him see. The salty drops sting the raw skin of your wrist after last night, and you are brutally reminded of the current reality. His brutal honesty makes you want to abandon all hope, but you were a woman with a plan. You came here for a reason, not to just lose your temper in your soulmate’s apartment and tell him what you really thought about him.

“I have a proposition for you”, you asserted calmly, staring Jungkook in the eye as he remains unbothered. 

“Now I reckon something’s happened to you to make you lose all your faith in soulmates, so I’m not forcing you to do anything you don’t want to do.” Your eyebrows furrow when you speak focusedly.

“We don’t have to be together. That’s your will. But…”, you hesitate, pushing past the uncertainty and fear of another rejection from Jungkook, “will you let me at least try? You don’t have to promise anything. Can we just start as friends?” 

Naturally, Jungkook wants to shoot down your offer, kick you out of his apartment, and pretend like he never met anyone by the name of Y/N. Call it divine intervention but when he looks at you, pleading for any semblance of connection, he feels a tug at his heart strings. So Jungkook makes another promise to himself. He would let you “try”, whatever that entails. But there was no virtual possibility of letting you any closer than necessary. 

You both stand in contemplative silence before he lets out a resigned sigh. “On one condition”, he responds slowly, but there is already a premature grin growing on your face and you don’t think you could stop it even if you tried.

“You still have to be my model for the art portfolio.”

You agree before he even gets to take another breath. 

“Deal.” 

When you finally make your way out of Jungkook’s apartment, parting ways with an awkward number exchange and a ‘see you later’, there is a simultaneous feeling of hope and desolation. The optimism for Jungkook combines with the insecurity that perhaps you, just as you are, is not nearly enough to make someone fall in love. Especially someone who disregards their soul connection to you. 

You walk back to your apartment with a heavy heart that warms with embers of determination. Jeon Jungkook was an enigma. A Bastille fortress of self-defense mechanisms and destructive tendencies, and you know that there is unresolved pain. Call it a soulmate instinct or something, but you see it in his eyes. You see it in the way his face begs to show emotion but his mind refuses to acknowledge. 

You know Jungkook is not obligated to accept you after the dust settles, much less fall in love with you. Under the peach blossoms of the campus sidewalk, you make a promise anyway.  To yourself and to your soulmate and the silly little mark on the inside of your wrist. Even if he does not love you, you vow to help Jungkook learn to love himself.

◓

When you are harshly woken up at 5:30 in the morning, the last person you expected to be blowing up your phone was Jeon Jungkook. If it weren’t for the pure exhaustion seeping through your bones, you would have been excited about your soulmate calling you. Alas, slumber was your soulmate now. Jungkook would have to step down. 

On the other side of the paper thin wall, Jimin is frustratedly banging from his room, your ringtone reverberating throughout the entire apartment. You pick up his call without even opening your eyes.

“Hello?” 

“Y/N I need you to come to my apartment as soon as you can.” There is no sleepiness in his voice. Just clean and cold like it always is and he has hung up before you get the chance to scold him for waking you up at this unholy hour. You’re about to give him a piece of your mind but you remember he is paying you very handsomely for your efforts, and reluctantly drag yourself out of bed to call an uber. Thank god he doesn’t live too far away otherwise you’ll stick a foot through his canvas for the transportation bill. 

The front of Jungkook’s apartment door is strangely therapeutic, and you find yourself falling asleep standing up after you’ve rung the doorbell. Either time passes too slowly when you are sleep-drunk or Jungkook moves to get the door as quickly as your grandfather does. Whatever the case, you are about to pass out on his doorstep if he doesn’t come soon.

“Y/N, why are you just standing there? The door has been open.” 

“Jungkook. Why are you making me do this so early?”, you yawn, pushing inside the apartment. 

Jungkook takes in your discombobulated appearance, and almost wants to laugh. You were still in your pajamas, and the bun on your head now looked more like a heaping blob that drooped down your temple. It was obvious that you had just rolled out of bed and he almost feels bad for disturbing your sleep, but he does not decide when his strokes of inspiration spontaneously appear. 

The living room is bombarded with Jungkook’s art supplies and stray canvases, and you take note of the clay sculpting table that blends in as furniture next to his kitchen. You plop yourself down on the stool across from Jungkook’s easel, eyes still half closed and impossibly tired.

 In this moment, Jungkook wipes the fact that you are his soulmate from his mind. He needs to do the portfolio. That is all he’s keeping you around for, and the only reason he agreed to your plan was so that you would remain his art model. 

In the silence of his makeshift art studio, Jungkook paints whatever comes to his mind, referencing your figure on the stool for the curves he can never get right without a model and need for a human presence to translate onto his canvas. You become more lucid as time goes by and the sun starts to rise from outside his window, sitting up straighter and paying more attention to his concentrated face as Jungkook pours himself into his creation. 

Looking at him in this light, you realize that he is beautiful. And not just because he’s your soulmate. Jungkook’s hair is scruffy and stubbled, undereyes sporting impressive dark circles. But the way he caresses the paintbrush and the way his body moves to the beat of the painting is poetic. He glances at you sporadically, eyes darting to and fro to capture as much as he can before the creativity burns out. He is beautiful and it makes your heart ache to know that he does not want you. In spite of the bond the universe has created. 

You wonder if in his focused hazed, he notices the new glaze across your eyes and the silent sound of your soul calling out for his. You wipe away the first dripping tear as quickly as it came. You know Jungkook sees, but does not bat an eye and you can’t tell if you’d rather prefer him to acknowledge it. 

It’s 8:00am when he puts the paintbrush down, takes a step back, and surveys his work. His eyes trail over each organic line and areas where he decided to use burnishing instead of cross hatching. It’s far from perfect, but it’s enough. 

“Okay. You’re free to go”, he announces, plucking the painting off the easel and resting it against the wall, hidden from your eyes. 

“W-What? That’s it?”, you sigh disappointedly, “you’re not even going to let me see it?” Jungkook shrugs. His detachedness makes you want to rip your hair out and sob into your pillow at the same time. You don’t understand how a person could be so unfazed. 

“S’not ready for debut. Thanks for showing up, though.” He doesn’t spare you another glance. Just goes back to cleaning his brushes and dumping out the glasses of murky paint water. You ignore the twinge of hurt in your chest and slide off the stool. 

“Okay, fine. Now it’s my turn. Would you like to go have some breakfast?”, you smile expectantly to Jungkook, who stares at you with an indifferent gaze. His first instinct is to make up a half-assed excuse to get out of this, eager to detach himself from you as much as possible and avoid any more interaction. However, he was insanely hungry, and the glimmer in your eye just looks so hopeful even Jungkook couldn’t bear to shoot you down.

He sighs with resignation. A little breakfast couldn’t hurt, and he wasn’t going with you necessarily. You were just...going to the same cafe in the same direction as him and likely sitting at the same table. Yeah, that’s it. 

“Hurry up, I’m hungry.” 

“Wait...actually?”

You blinked in shock at his lack of resistance. 

“Yes. Now come on. I know a place with really great apple strudels.”

You weren’t aware that by ‘breakfast’, Jungkook actually meant sitting in complete silence and wolfing down food like your life depends on it. You want to be grossed out when he inhales 3 apple strudels in less than 10 minutes, crumbs flaking on his shirt without a care in the world. Yet you just feel endeared. The sight makes you smile. And maybe if Jungkook did not detest you, you would have leaned over and kissed the cinnamon sugar right off his lips. 

“So….”, you sip on a sweet coffee, “Jimin told me you’re going for a masters in art history?” 

Jungkook nods halfway through a bite of his pastry. “Yup.” 

“Is it something you’re really passionate about?” you inquire, desperately wanting the conversation to delve into something that wasn’t so surface level.

“Uh huh.”

“What are some other things you’re interested in besides art?”

“Totally.” 

Jungkook is completely clueless. He only spares glances to the windows and occasional looks to his oh so precious breakfast treats. You want to slap him and be angry, but you only sigh. It shouldn’t be so hard to talk to your soulmate, yet it felt like trying to pull teeth when he was so completely disinterested in you. You wonder if this is worth it.

You look up at him from your steaming cappuccino cup and use your wildcard. 

“In my opinion, Botticelli’s Birth of Venus did little for the Italian Renaissance movement.” 

Your statement almost has Jungkook falling backwards in his chair and choking on a piece of fruit filling, eyes growing as wide as saucers when he finally processes what you just said. A flaming insult to the entire art historian community. 

“What do you know about Botticelli?”, he sneers, and you internally celebrate for this is the most emotion Jungkook has shown since meeting you. 

“I know that his work supposedly epitomizes the spirit of the Renaissance”, you swirl the coffee in your cup nonchalantly, lips curving into a knowing smirk. “But if you ask me, Bellini’s San Giobbe Altarpiece did much more to encapsulate the values of 15th century Italy.” 

Jungkook’s speechless expression is one that you want to take a snapshot of and frame it to your wall. It is glorious, and arguably more artful to you than Botticelli himself. So what, you had conveniently forgot to mention to him about the class you took junior year of college, with a professor that made you engrave the fundamentals of Italian painting in your brain. It’s so much more gratifying to see him stunned silent. 

Across the table from you, Jungkook feels a warm smile itching to display itself. Before it can appear, he disguises it as a cold smirk. He feels something akin to a butterfly at the pit of his stomach, but blames it on indigestion and the inhuman pace at which he devoured his breakfast. Yeah that must be it. There was no way he was feeling butterflies. 

He cracks his knuckles, raises his cup to gulp down a lukewarm green tea, and rests his elbows on the table separating the both of you.

“I don’t suppose you could tell me your thoughts on the influences of neo-classicism in the 18th century?” 

◑

“No, Y/N, turn to your left a little”, Jungkook frustratedly sighs behind the camera lens.

“Your left or my left?”

He pauses. “....left.” 

To any outside eye, you and Jungkook look like two buffoons trying to take pictures on what might possibly be the windiest day of the season, under the peach blossom trees. Jungkook had called you earlier that day and stressed about how he needed mixed media in his beloved portfolio, and photographs were the next topic of interest. Though you couldn’t understand why he couldn’t just set out a fruit bowl on his windowsill and call it still life photography.

Jungkook stares down at his camera, dissatisfaction clear on his face. You almost want to apologize for your abhorrent modeling skills but hey, he was the one that chose you. 

“Hmm...try staring at that boat in the distance”, he dictates, standing beside you and aiming the lens at your side profile. You do as he asks, but don’t hear the shutter of the camera. Jungkook sighs again and leans forward, so close you could feel his warm breath hitting your skin. You hope he doesn’t notice the beet blush on your cheeks.

Jungkook’s hands meet your chin when he uses it to slightly tilt your face downwards. He positions you in the way that he wants you to pose and you finally understand why photography is considered an art. Because it’s almost as if Jungkook is molding you like clay, to get the silhouette he wants to capture with his camera lens. The day is brisk, but his skin on your’s lights you on fire. 

“Okay, that’s…..that’s perfect”, Jungkook breathes, hurriedly picking up the camera that had been hanging onto his neck by the strap and angling it. At the moment his index finger presses down on the button, there is a gust of wind that surrounds the both of you.

The breeze loosens a strand of your hair and it falls into your eyes. You let your eyes drift close for a second, smiling into the cold air that tingles on your skin. Jungkook’s breath catches in his throat and he thanks the skies for the howling wind so you wouldn’t be able to hear his thumping heartbeat. But surely it’s only because it’s cold. And absolutely nothing else. Jungkook coughs inconspicuously to snap himself out of his trance, sighing in relief when he realizes your eyes are still closed and that you hadn’t noticed his internal struggle. 

He drags you to a bridge next and makes you lay on the cold wood to which you vehemently object before you remember that he’s paying you and that you want him to fall in love with you, not dislike you more than he already does. After the bridge, Jungkook makes you kneel beside the park pond and dip your hand in the icy water and you find yourself wanting to do the same thing to his precious camera. 

Before the two of you have realized, the sun sets into the horizon and tinges the sky in a combination of purples and pinks that Jungkook himself has a hard time replicating on canvas. He aims his lens at the clouds and takes a picture that he knows won’t make it into his gallery. He just felt the need to have something to remember this day by. For no reason in particular…

A buzzing coming from your coat pocket alerts you both of the time that has passed and how the sky has considerably darkened since you began the session. When you fish your phone out, Jimin’s contact photo is staring back at you while the marimba ringtone continues playing. You put the phone on speaker.

“Hey Jiminie”, you smile and Jungkook catches a glance of it. And the discomfort in his chest is definitely, 100%, not jealousy. Not at all.

“I told you not to call me that! What is with you younger people and your disrespect for the elderly?” The corner of Jungkook’s lips twitch into a subtle smile at the similarity of your’s and his conversations with Jimin. 

“Okay, okay, grandpa. What’s up?”

“Can you come home ASAP? I may or may not have broken the stove trying to make soup.” 

The redundancy of his confession makes you sigh, as Park Jimin desecrating your shared kitchen space was not a rare occurrence by any means. 

“I’ll be right there”, you chided through the line, “please do not cook anything else before I arrive.” 

“Thanks Y/N-ie, you’re the best!” Jimin’s voice is far too cheery and you make a mental note to nag him a little extra when you get home. The phone call is ended promptly and you turn around to Jungkook, eyes widening in surprise when he has already packed up all his photography gear. The sky had turned dark and the streetlights had been turned on to illuminate the park. If you had craned your neck upwards, you would have noticed the stars that awoke again to shine down upon the city. But you didn’t. You only saw the stars that were twinkling in Jungkook’s eyes. 

“Uh”, he stammers, “I’ll walk you home. It’s late.” 

“Oh! Uh...Thanks.” Though he was still cold and indifferent, your heart jumped in elation. Perhaps this could be considered baby steps. 

The trip home is quiet, only the sounds of your tandem footsteps on pavement and the rustle of a breeze through tree leaves fill the space of silence. But the quiet is not uncomfortable. Just a bit awkward as you two try to figure out how to be around one another. Jungkook’s hands are shoved in his pockets and your fingers itch to intertwine themselves around his own. To press your soulmate marks together and feel them calling out to each other. But you and Jungkook are anything but normal soulmates. For you are already head over heels in love with him and he is adamant on not sparing you a crumb of affection. 

To your disdain, the apartment was closer than you thought and the short walk with Jungkook ended before it really even began. You could practically hear Jimin’s impatience emanating from the third story of the building. 

“So I’ll see you later?”, you smile meekly. Jungkook readjusts the strap of his camera bag before nodding. He is walking away before you turn around to enter the apartment building and even though it was something small and mundane, you wished he would have waited to see you get in safely. You make your way inside, more downcast than you had been before.

You don’t see when Jungkook turns around. You don’t feel the reassurance that washes over him when the door shuts safely behind you. 

That night, Jungkook is reminded far too much of Yoojung. When he goes to make his usual chamomile, he finds her mug at the very back of the tea cabinet. She must have forgotten it when she packed up her stuff. When he spoons in the sugar, he remembers how Yoojung drinks her tea with honey instead. And when he feels himself start to fall apart, he remembers how Yoojung is not there to keep him together. 

Jungkook pushes away his pain, abandons the lukewarm mug of tea, and opts for an early bedtime to sleep away the ache. The camera sitting on his nightstand, though, beckons him to look over the photos you both had taken that afternoon. 

In the moment, he had been dissatisfied with the pictures, always thinking there must be a better angle or a better position you could shift into. However when he looks down at his camera now, in the quiet and solemnity of his bedroom, Jungkook can’t help but to think they are absolutely perfect. 

He doesn’t know whether to credit his own artistic skill or you; for breathing life into his photographs. It’s the lines of your hands, the slope of your nose, and the stray strands of your hair that makes his pictures more human. 

The ones he ends up picking though, are not perfectly  staged and not the ones where he made you change the position of your stance for 10 minutes. No, the best pictures were the ones he took without you noticing. When you had just been enjoying the cool breeze or admiring the beauty of peach blossom season. When you point out a cool looking bird and when you stared annoyedly past the cameras lens (at him no doubt). 

Yoojung is gone from his mind for just a tiny fleeting moment. For little reason at all, Jungkook finds himself smiling. And there is only the company of the moon to see it. 

◒

 It is ten o’ clock in the morning and Jungkook comes to a realization that in the couple weeks since he has met you, he has sighed more times than he has in the past 23 years of life. Jungkook sighs when you text him first thing in the morning about the dream you had the night before and describe it in painfully vivid details. He leaves them unanswered. Sometimes he wished you would just email him the google document instead. He sighs when you fidget in your seat when he’s trying to paint and keep focus, but you are only interested in asking him the snacks he has in his fridge or when he’s going to finish. He sighs when you and Jimin collectively trash his art studio by spamming his $1,000 camera with ugly face pictures and sword fighting with his sable paint brushes. Jungkook often has a hard time believing that both of you are in graduate school. 

Today, he sighs when you bombard into room 62B of the art building; what is supposed to be Jungkook’s completely zen and peaceful creative space. You are tiptoeing around him as you always do, scared that you’ll do something to set him off and your soulmate will disown you for good. He glances at you once, eyes quickly darting back to the sculpture he is molding on the clay table and saying nothing. 

“There’s a new cafe that just opened right across from the apple strudel place”, you gulp tensely. “I was gonna go check out the competition.” Your words seem deaf to Jungkook’s ear and he only furrows his eyebrows, fingers fussing over the mass of clay. There was just something he couldn’t get right. He didn’t know what it was. 

Jungkook pushes away the sculpture frustratedly, wipes his hands on his apron, and finally looks at you. Maybe he did need a break and come back to it with fresh eyes. That’s all it was, though. A break. He wasn’t going because you asked him to. 

“They better have blonde roast otherwise you’ll be compensating me for my time.” Jungkook is as ruthless and blunt as ever and you decide to look past it as you always do. Him agreeing to go with you was a mini success. 

“Welcome in! You’ve stopped by at the perfect time. The strawberry scones have just been taken out of the oven!” The cafe employee is far too enthusiastic for receiving minimum wage and greeting grumpy people off the streets who just want to be caffeinated. His name tag reads Jung Hoseok. 

“Oh, strawberry is my favorite”, you whisper, the statement only meant for your ears but Jungkook picks up on it anyway. He declines to tell you that strawberry is his favorite as well. Hoseok’s eyes light up when you and Jungkook approach the entrance, like he finally succeeded at luring a customer. 

The cafe isn’t anything special. A bit more modern compared to the one across the street and you think you prefer the latter because this new one doesn’t have the owner’s handsome son standing at the cash register. He may not be your soulmate, but even you had to admit Kim Seokjin was a beautiful man if there ever was one. However, this cafe is warm and has ceiling length windows that let in an obscene amount of sunlight. Jungkook makes a mental note to try some pictures here in the future. 

Jungkook’s phone buzzes in his pocket and you are already leaving him behind in the dust, walking straight to the counter and peering up at the menu deep in thought. You turn around to see that he is immersed in mysterious conversation, and take it upon yourself to order him a drink. 

“I’ll have a matcha latte. And uh…”, you decide, trailing off as you wonder what kind of drink Jungkook would enjoy. “And an iced vanilla mocha latte, extra whipped cream, extra chocolate syrup. Do you guys have rainbow sprinkles?” 

A little sugar never hurt anyone. Especially someone so often bitter like your one and only soulmate. 

When Jungkook hangs up and makes his way to the corner table where you are situated, the sight of the concoction on the table is enough to give him an instant cavity. You hide your smile behind the mug of matcha. He grumbles and sits down swiftly, sticking the straw past his lips in defiance and you can only watch expectantly. 

“Well…do you like it?” 

This is when Jungkook realizes you didn’t order this to spite him. You just had completely zero idea what he liked and disliked and chose the first thing you thought was best. As cold as he is, he doesn’t have the heart to tell you that when he drinks coffee, he likes it black. No cream, no sugar, and the darkest roast with the most caffeine to push him through those nights spent in front of a canvas or over a clay table. 

Jungkook fights to keep steady from the ambush of sugar and wills himself to swallow it down. There is sticky chocolate syrup on his hands and it feels cosmically more uncomfortable than paint. But Jungkook manages to look up at you and nod, to which you reward with a smile. 

“I knew you would like it”, you say smugly, giving yourself a mental pat on the back. “You look like you have a giant sweet tooth.” There is a mellow giggle that follows your statement. Jungkook feels a flutter at the bottom of his stomach, and convinces himself it’s only because it sounds so much like Yoojung. He catches sight of the moon on your wrist, and pushes the feeling away even farther. 

The two of you spend the rest of the midday there, tucked away in a corner of a cafe and losing track of time as you always do. Jungkook finds himself forgetting about the mountains of work he has to do to finish his art gallery portfolio, and the unfinished sculpture back at the studio that’s just not right. 

Today, he allows himself to enjoy your presence and get to know you more. Your favorite color is yellow. You had a dog named Benny when you were a child. You detest beer with a passion, but enjoy a nightly glass of pinot grigio. Jungkook barely notices when the entire cup of coffee has disappeared. Every last rainbow sprinkle.

On second thought, he feels that maybe there was something sweeter than his unexpectedly delicious iced vanilla mocha latte with extra whipped cream. Maybe that something was sitting right across from him, rambling about the fundamentals of English literature with unexplained vigor. 

Jungkook’s soul feels lighter when he goes to bed that night. And when he finally succumbs to Morpheus, his last lucid thought is of you; sun beams coming from the large cafe windows that comb through your hair. He looks at you through his mind’s eye and all he can see is the potential heartbreak you have the power to put him through. The fan of your eyelashes. The curve of your smile. The plush of your lips. All he can see is Yoojung as she crushes his soul in her bare hands. 

Yet in the midst of his internal conflict, Jungkook’s subconscious allows him to fall in love with you a little bit. Perhaps not love just yet, but affection. Like a toe dip in uncharted waters or sticking his finger in a bowl of creamy cake batter just for a taste. The walls he has built are still there, strong as ever, but perhaps a couple bricks look a bit askew. He doesn’t know, but his soul calls out to your’s through the fortress.

◐

“Y/N I don’t know why you thought this was a good idea.”

“Oh hush, just close your eyes and point where your heart tells you to.”

In the lobby of a train station, facing a map and an ETA board is where you and Jungkook will be embarking on your next “date but not really because you don’t believe in soulmates so let’s just hang out”. It had taken a good two hours of nagging and whining on your part to convince him to abandon his portfolio for just a little bit to go an outing. Now standing here, with you excitedly bouncing next to him and a mystery destination, Jungkook feels something akin to utter regret. 

“What if I choose somewhere that’s a thousand miles away? Or just in the middle of nowhere?”, Jungkook groans, still putting up an unbothered and cold front. 

“Well then we will go somewhere that’s a thousand miles away or in the middle of nowhere”, you quipped back at him. Jungkook had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to get out of this one. 

He reluctantly places a hand over his eyes, sighing with resignation before pointing to a random spot on the map. There is a giggle that sounds to his left and Jungkook finds himself wanting to hear more. 

“Wonderful choice”, you smiled, “couldn’t have picked it better myself.” 

Jungkook peeked his eyes open one at a time, scared of seeing what his intuition has chosen for your guys’ spontaneous destination. He breathes out a sigh of relief when he sees that his fingers landed on a town on the outskirts of the city, 20 minutes away from the university. He silently thanks the universe for not sabotaging his wallet and time. 

“We’re never doing this again, Y/N”, Jungkook speaks as you are in front of him, skipping happily to the front desk to buy two train tickets. 

“Wasn’t it fun, though? The thrill?”, you chuckle at his demeanor, to which he only shakes his head vehemently. You note the newest thing you’ve just learned about Jungkook: he has an aversion to uncertainty and spontaneity. 

The train ride was as brief as it was uneventful. You spent the time rambling to Jungkook about all the quips and quirks about yourself and he only listened. Though he kept quiet, his face was free of any annoyance or indication that you were speaking too much. Jungkook only stared at you and unknowing to you, he soaked in every bit of information like a sponge. If anyone asked, he could tell them what foods you were allergic to, what colors wash you out, and what vegetables you hated the most. 

“Wow you didn’t have to pick somewhere so far away, Jungkook.” You muse as the two of you step out of the train car. So far away in fact, that if you were to crane your head up enough, you would be able to see the university from a distance. 

“Hey, you were the one who made me choose”, Jungkook spares a rare smile, “Would you rather we have shelled out our wallets to go on an 18-hour train ride?”

“Okay, fair point.”

The city was as abundant as it was big, and the both of you walked aimlessly from avenue to avenue, stopping occasionally whenever you see a dog you just can’t help but to pet or whenever Jungkook complained about his sore feet. As cold and indifferent as Jungkook made himself out to be, you’ve quickly come to realize that he’s actually a big baby. He still hasn’t let you in or even lowered his walls by a tiny centimeter, but you like to think that even agreeing to go anywhere with you could be considered significant progress.

Jungkook doesn’t notice the pounding of his heart whenever his hands graze against your’s, walking side by side so close he can feel the heat emanating through your coat. He doesn’t notice the peace he feels, just the synchronicity of his feet as he places them on the pavement. 

The fraught wind that blows straight at Jungkook’s face prompts him to look up from where his eyes were cast on the ground. He almost staggers at how strong it is, but finds himself weak in the knees for a completely different reason.

Of course.

Of all the days, of all the times, of all the people in this entire city.

Of course she had to be the one that was currently staring at him from across the intersection. 

The red light seems to go on forever. Either that or time has just spontaneously frozen, Jungkook can’t tell. But his eyes are fixed on hers and his feet bolster him to the concrete when all he wants to do is sprint the other way and forget he ever saw this ghost from the past. 

Yoojung looks as beautiful as the day she left him. 

She’s gained some weight and her cheeks have filled out, but it looks healthy on her now (Jungkook always chided her for forgetting to eat). She stares at him with a combination of shock and guilt and something he wants to overthink into affection but he won’t give himself that satisfaction anymore. She dyed her hair. Light brown looks good on her. 

She looks...happy. As happy as anyone can look when they’re rushing through thick crowds of a city, traffic horns blaring like a dilapidated symphony. 

In the heat of it all, it’s impossible for you not to notice Jungkook’s sudden change in demeanor or the way he has suddenly stopped breathing. When you follow his gaze, there is a girl on the other side of the street that shares the same starstruck expression and even from the outside looking in, you can feel the weight of something painful in his eyes. In her stature. 

When the lights turn green, the throngs of city dwellers migrate across and you stay beside Jungkook when he doesn’t move a muscle. Not even a finger twitch. But she does. And he can only fight to keep the ache away when Yoojung gets closer with every millisecond. Until she is standing right in front of him and he can smell her familiar vanilla perfume. 

“Jungkook”, she speaks, apprehension in her voice. “It’s been a while...how are you?” 

Yoojung only spares you a side glance while keeping attention on Jungkook and you only grow more curious as to who this strange woman is. 

He wants to speak so badly but his tongue remains frozen. He turns to you with flabbergast in his eyes and shakes his head to snap out of the daze of confusion. Of seeing the love of his life again. Or who he thought was the love of his life. 

“Could you give us a minute, Y/N?” 

You didn’t know why but the words that came from his lips made you feel disappointed. Perhaps you were just stupid for thinking he would introduce you. Tell her that you’re his soulmate and scream it at the top of his lungs with sheer pride. But your imagination has hurt you countless times and you had a feeling this one wouldn’t be the last. You manage a curt nod and push away the twinge in your heart. There was a boundary between you and Jungkook and today was not the day to cross it and introduce yourself as his soulmate to any random stranger. 

Once you are out of vicinity and have found solace in a bookstore 10 feet away, Jungkook allows himself to breathe in Yoojung’s presence. 

“I didn’t know if you were still in the city”, he falters, voice coming out quieter than he would have liked it to. But what was he supposed to sound like confronting the supposed love of his life. 

“I never left, Jungkook...my entire life is here.” She sighs, smiling lightly with eyes seeping with guilt. 

He scoffs. “I don’t know Yoojung, you seem to leave behind important things pretty easily.” Jungkook feels himself getting angrier and resentful by the second, and though he knows it is unfair of him, Yoojung’s mere presence brings back all the wounds he never truly healed from. 

Granted, on a concrete sidewalk next to a traffic light pole was not the best place to have a heart to heart about failed relationships. But when has the universe ever given Jungkook the best things in life. He is devastatingly cynical for someone who dedicates his career to art. 

Yoojung wears a frown on her face, but there is no vindictiveness there. Just an overwhelming sense of remorse that Jungkook communicates as pity. 

“I don’t know how else to say that I’m sorry”, she sighs, eyes falling to the ground. Jungkook wishes it would just open up and swallow him whole. 

“Then don’t say anything.” He turns to walk away.

“Wait! Jungkook can we...can’t we catch up or something? For a couple minutes?” Yoojung is visibly desperate, and her hands are outstretched as if wanting to touch him but keeping herself from overstepping the line. 

Jungkook glances through the window of the bookstore, and you are situated on a chair, already nose deep in a hefty book. He wants to smile and tease you for being such a nerd, but the weight of Yoojung’s presence makes him reinforce those walls of indifference tenfold. 

He exhales frustration and inhales temptation, looking back into Yoojung’s familiar eyes and nodding. Jungkook walks to a nearby bench and sits down with no words exchanged, looking forward coldly even when he feels her warmth next to him. A couple months ago, Jungkook would have set all his canvases on fire to feel her beside him again. Now, he’s not so sure.

“So…”, she starts, “who’s that cute girl you were with?” 

“No one.” He shoots out a little too soon with no hesitation. Yoojung gulps.

“You know Jungkook, it’s okay to find someone. I-I know I hurt you, but I’m glad if you’ve found someone who doesn’t.” Jungkook doesn’t say anything so she continues.

“I’m really happy for-”

“I never really forgave you Yoojung.” He stares blankly at the passersby and tries to ignore the ache in his bones. The one that’s been there the day she left and took a piece of his heart with her. 

“And I don’t want to blame you for my decisions but I want you to know that I push away a lot of people because of you. People that don’t deserve it.” From the corner of his eye, he can see her nod solemnly to his words and fidget with her hands in her lap. Part of him feels guilty for unloading on Yoojung. Part of him feels like maybe he deserves to. 

“What you did was really shitty. Astronomically fucking shitty. And I’ve spent the past eternity hating you and maybe I still do, but…”, Jungkook takes a deep breath, “I want to forgive you now. If not fully, then partially. I hope you can understand that.” He finally tilts his head to look at her and though the smile on her face is as beautiful as he remembers it to be, Jungkook no longer feels the longing. No longer feels the sting that he usually does when his thoughts take him back to the years they spent together. 

Jungkook doesn’t want to call it closure, not yet anyway. Sitting here on the bench, he still wants to scream and yell and tell Yoojung of all the nights he’s spent alone since she left. He still wants to drag her back and wonder if she could love him again like she used to. 

But he doesn’t. He listens when she tells him about her new job and her new apartment right by the lakeside. They share snippets of their separate lives. Just deep enough to rekindle something warm but shallow enough to not invite anything else in. 

When he walks away from the bench and into the bookstore, Jungkook stills feels the walls that he has built around himself. He is still scared of opening up and being vulnerable but the anger held for Yoojung for so long is no longer a raging fire. More so a wickering flame. 

When he spots you, though, he remembers why he built those walls in the first place. He remembers how easy it used to be for him to climb a high peak and fall to his demise. Your eyes widen when you catch sight of him, lips curling into a wide smile and clear excitement in your expression. The book in your hands is tossed aside and tunnel vision reserved for him and him only. Something blooms in his chest and he can’t remember the last time someone’s been so elated to just simply see him...aside from his dog. Jungkook reminds himself to act uncaring. If he pretends long enough, he’ll start to believe it himself. 

◓

The train ride home feels longer than the one there. The minutes drag by and perhaps it is because of your drooping eyes or the way Jungkook is looking at you with a different tenderness than he has been before. His stare is not harsh. It’s soft and sweet, but subtle enough for you to wonder if you are just imagining it. The night has always been unforgiving and cold even in the spring, but perhaps all that’s needed to breathe some warmth, is a 15 minute train ride and a wrist with a crescent moon.

Yet every time you become more smitten with Jungkook, there is a harsh reminder that follows you everywhere like a designated storm cloud. 

Jungkook does not love you. And you are trying and you will continue to try but his eyes tell you something he is too courteous to say. You see it now as he sits across from you and admires the skyline from the window. It makes you wonder if it is soulmates he doesn’t believe in, or if it is just you that he can’t bring himself to accept. With every cold glance and wall that he puts up, you start to convince yourself that it is the latter.

“We’re here, Y/N”, Jungkook speaks quietly, interrupting your drifting thoughts. He turns around and leaves the train car with hands tucked in his coat pocket. Did you expect him to escort you out and hold your hand? Of course not. But you were tired of Jungkook being so indifferent to your existence. 

You follow him glumly out the doors that slide close after you step through. Then it zips off again and you wonder where it would have taken you if you just stayed in your seat. If Jungkook would have even noticed that you hadn’t followed him when he left. 

You sigh into the night air and wish it was winter so that your breath could be visible as a white cloud. Maybe then Jungkook would notice that you were a living being beside him. 

“Who was that girl that we met back there?”, you murmur hesitantly. Jungkook nearly chokes on air. 

“No one”, he responds curtly, effectively cutting off the conversation then and there. It makes your heart sink. She must be important and all you want to do is know every single detail about their relationship, but the look in his eyes warn you to not pry. 

You don’t think you can forget the way Jungkook looked at her from across the street. Like he had been lost this whole time and she was the North star. You saw the way his eyes twinkled in the midday sun and sparkled even more when she came closer. You wonder if you’ll ever be able to have that effect on him. 

“Hey, next time you should pick a place you and I both do not live in”, you giggle, nudging his shoulder with your own. It makes him smile and even though your heart feels heavy in your chest, Jungkook looks so beautiful when he smiles. 

The two pair of feet subconsciously carry you both to the front door of your apartment building and the scene is too familiar from the last time. You expect him to turn around and whisper a hushed goodnight under his breath, and you’ll have to watch the back of his head disappear down the street. But he doesn’t. Just stands across from you quietly and waits for you to say something. So you do. 

“Jungkook, I’m sorry if I brought up something you didn’t want to remember. I don’t really know your story but it seems you two have a lot of history.” You want to tell him how hard it is for you to be his soulmate when he is so clearly vying for the warmth of someone else. Someone who didn’t have a crescent moon on her wrist. 

“I know you’ll tell me whenever you’re ready, and if that’s never then I’ll keep waiting until forever. But I’m here if you want to talk or unload and I already know I can help because…” you fidget with your hands and look around nervously. 

“Well, because I’m your soulmate.” 

When you say it loud and explicitly, Jungkook thought the statement would have made him recoil. But it doesn’t. It just seeps through his consciousness and feels warm when he thinks about the weight of those words. You are his soulmate, regardless of if he believes in such a thing or not. You carry the same mark as he does on your wrist and somehow, by some intangible factor, the universe had decided that you were created for him and he for you. 

And when he looks at you. Really looks at you. When Jungkook processes your sincere words and how you manage to deal with his insurmountable boundaries even when you barely know him…

Jungkook has never wanted to kiss you more. 

So he does. 

Your lips taste like mint chewing gum and the ghost of words you wish to tell him but can’t. He feels you stiffen until you completely melt in his hold, and Jungkook cradles your face with both his hands, pulling you closer to him until there is no barrier between you but the clothes on your back and the emotional distance. You feel so far away even when you’re this near. Was it a trick of your imagination when you felt the moon on your wrist tingling? 

It doesn’t last as long as you would’ve liked it to. Jungkook yanks his hands from you like your skin scalded him and takes several steps back. His chest rises up and down violently when his breath comes out ragged, posture stiffening as the gravity of what just happened finally absorbs. You’re there, he knows you’re there and standing in front of him. So why is it he can only see Yoojung. Yoojung and the star on her wrist and apologies on her lips. Yoojung and the tears in her eyes when she walks away. 

You can only stare confusedly when his body goes rigid, and a sudden coldness envelops you both. 

And in the haze of post-embrace, like any two normal lovers, you catch something in his eyes that sets a heavy feeling in your stomach. Before you can confirm if it’s just a trick of the light, Jungkook is already running in the opposite direction and you can only see a shadow of sullen love that follows him. He is gone and you are standing alone, wondering how moonlight could feel so cold even on a spring night. 

You don’t get any sleep that night. Every time you close your eyes, there is only the sight of Jungkook’s disgust and regret to lull you to dreams. 

20 minutes away from your apartment, there is a boy who doesn’t sleep either. He won’t text or call to tell you that he can’t shake off the feeling of your skin on his and your breath fanning his cheek. He won’t admit to himself that tonight, when he looked at you, he felt the possibility of falling in love. He won’t tell you that the moon on his skin longs to be traced by your hands. No, he just shares those secrets with his pillow as its linen soaks up his tears. 

In the midst of it all, there is one verdict that becomes clear to him.

Jungkook wishes he had never told Jimin he needed a muse.

◑

The next three weeks is dedicated to trying to get in touch with your soulmate. Through the whirlwinds of utter confusion and desperation, you try texting, calling, emailing, even showing up at his art studio and apartment to no avail. It seemed he had a talent for avoiding soulmates. 

It hurt, to say the least. That he left you high and dry after giving you the most intense

kiss of your life and doesn’t even have the decency to let you know he’s alive. The feeling of his lips still burns on your skin and you wonder if you are a complete fool for being so smitten with a person who, quite possibly, hasn’t spared you a single thought after that night. You just want - no you just need some clarity. 

Jungkook makes you wait another week before replying. 

It is an impossibly sunny day when you wake up. Your neck is stiff from sleeping like a contortionist and your heart aches even more than your muscles with every passing morning with radio silence from your soulmate. You want to call him and tell him you’re sorry. That you’ll forget anything ever happened. It hurts to even think about it, but for Jungkook, you would go through a little more pain so he would let you into his life. 

Outside the hall, Jimin is singing along to a familiar melody of a song you don’t know the name of and judging by the aroma that wafts through the cracks of your door, he has successfully made a pot of coffee. He has been an anchor throughout this whole thing, and sometimes you make a secret wish to the stars that Jimin had been the one with a crescent moon on his wrist instead. Perhaps that way, you wouldn’t have to go through the agony of chasing love that is constantly sprinting away from you. 

Your phone lays on the bedside table and buzzes innocently to start the morning. When you reach over and scroll through notifications routinely, there is a name there that makes your heart pang. Makes you want to throw up and celebrate at the same time. A text from Jungkook. Your fingers shake as you open it. 

I no longer need a model for the portfolio. Thank you for your involvement. Compensation will be provided promptly. 

The day you met him, you already knew that Jungkook was cold. He never dawdled around a painful truth or toed the line between bluntness and sparing feelings. Jungkook spoke his mind, collateral damage be damned. But this is a different type of cold. This one feels more like dry ice on warm skin. Like the numbing chill of a fading hope. Like winter’s first snowfall when autumn had promised you it would forever stay. 

Phone in your hand and tears threatening to drip down your cheeks, you wish you would have waited a bit more before opening his text. Perhaps that way you could have spent the rest of your morning basking in the spring sun, drinking Jimin’s inevitably bad coffee, having hope that Jeon Jungkook would grow to care for you. Perhaps if you hadn’t opened it so soon, your soulmate would still seem in reach. 

Jimin’s mug nearly drops out of his hand when the door of your bedroom is slammed open. He flings it to the side when he notices your red-rimmed eyes and the shaking hands that clutch onto a cellphone. You scream and sob at the universe, at anyone, asking why it was you that had to experience the chaos of longing. Jimin was there to hold you, as he always is, and helplessly listen to the sound of your heart breaking once again by the hands of Jungkook.

◒

Room 62B of the art building is a place you hope to never have to visit again. Though it’s walls contain memories of you and Jungkook, and the evenings navigating his gallery portfolio along with your convoluted relationship, the wallpaper bleeds with a longing ache. A yearning pain. And if those walls could talk, you don’t think you would want them to say anything at all. They would only murmur what you are slowly accepting to be true.

Jungkook, your soulmate, wants nothing to do with you. 

When you hesitantly rap on the door with a fisted hand, the sound of him rustling from inside makes you want to run the opposite direction. It opens before you get the chance to change your mind and the sight of him nearly takes your breath away. He is beautiful as he always is, hair ruffled and mussed from undoubtedly running his hands through it compulsively. His lips are pink from biting on them and the dark circles under his eyes tells you of the dreams he has deprived himself of. 

Jungkook is painfully gorgeous and painfully not yours. 

“Y/N...I sent you a text earlier.” His voice is saccharine but the words taste so bitter. 

“I know. I read it”, you murmur, shrinking in on yourself. 

“I....Can we talk, Jungkook?” 

His eyes dart around nervously at your question, chewing on his bottom lip and tapping the toe of his shoe as if he was impatient and you were bothering him. And you have known that simply being around Jungkook hurts but the light at the end of the tunnel only continues dwindling. 

You understand why he is acting so restless when your gaze drifts past him and into the room. There is a girl perched on a stool, across from a canvas and easel that you know awfully well. You don’t recognize her but it’s only in your nature to begin comparing every aspect of yourself to this stranger. She sits on her hands and swings her legs back and forth, head in the clouds and eyes trailing the ceiling. She isn’t aware of the weight of her presence in the studio, nor the turmoil she has brought to you, who is standing just outside the door. 

The oxygen in the hallway thins and the breath you’ve been waiting to release since knocking catches in your throat. Coming here, you prepared yourself for a long and inevitably heart-wrenching talk with your soulmate. But you hadn’t prepared for the possibility that he had replaced you overnight. 

The only thought that blares through your mind is that this is your fault. For letting yourself think you were worth more to Jeon Jungkook than any other stranger. You can no longer find it in yourself to be angry at him. Just yourself. 

“You…”, you gulp down a whimper, “you replaced me.” 

Jungkook follows your vacant stare past him and sighs, realizing you had most likely deducted what this scene looked like. You would be right. Between the weeks of trying to understand what you were to him and the impending due date of the portfolio, Jungkook was sure the best way to move past this confusion was to just speed full steam ahead. That meant finding another muse. You were no longer an option.

You only stare down at the floor, but Jungkook begins speaking anyway. 

“Y/N, I…I’m sorry.” You scoff at his words, feigning anger when inside, you truly didn’t know if you could piece yourself back together this time. 

“Look, Y/N. It’s not you. It’s just that…”, he breathes deep, not knowing why it was so hard to say. “I’ve stopped believing soulmates were truly a thing a long time ago. I’m sorry.” 

It’s not the first time you’ve heard these words but it doesn’t mean they hurt any less.

“I didn’t want to initiate anything, Y/N, but you did and I let you and that was my fault to let anything start. I shouldn’t have when I knew nothing would come of it.”

It was a fault to him. It never should have happened. 

“So you just thought you would kiss me and decide that I meant nothing to you afterwards?”

“It was a mistake.” It was painful to think it but when you hear Jungkook say it, you experience a new kind of ache. A humorless chuckle bubbles past your throat.

 “I really thought you would grow to love me. Now I know it’s not your fault that I’m a complete fool. To fall head over heels for my soulmate who wishes he had never even met me. Much less share a mark.” 

You can see Jungkook’s eyes widen at your confession, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. It was the truth. He deserved to hear it. 

“You shouldn’t. You can’t.” He reaches up to pull at his hair frustratedly.

“Can’t what, Jungkook? Love you? You think I want to be in love with someone who wishes I didn’t exist?” You hate your voice for breaking, but its impossibly painful when he does nothing to deny your statement. 

“What do you want me to say, Y/N? What can I say to make this better?”

Try: I love you too.

“I don’t need you to say anything you don’t mean, Jungkook.” 

“Then shouldn’t you leave?”

Jeon Jungkook is cruel even when he doesn’t mean to be. There is oblivion in his gaze, and his question is one of genuine curiosity. But it still stabs you exactly where your heart is most tender. Yes, I should have left. 

“I guess I thought you were worth the pain, Jungkook. When you pushed me away and wanted nothing to do with me, I thought you were worth hurting for just to try a little more. Worth the uncertainty of being around you but never getting to actually be with you”, you numbly mutter, uncaring about the rivulets of tears down your face. Not like it wasn’t something he’s never seen before. There is more to come on the tip of your tongue, and Jungkook stays quiet to let you speak. There is conflict in his vision, but you don’t want to give yourself the false hope that he cares for you. 

Look where that has gotten you before. 

“You still are, you know. Worth it.” You release a shaky breath. “But I was stupid to think that I am too.”

Saying the words are revelation for you as much as it is for him. All this time, you’ve been running away from the truth in the pursuit of your soulmate. You hadn’t realized that the chase led you astray. 

“And I know that loving me is not easy. I’m…”, you force the words out so he can at least hear your turmoil by his hands. “I’m never really good enough for anyone. Why did I expect that I would be good enough for you?” 

Jungkook’s expression crumples into a frown. “Y/N, no, that’s not what I mean-”

“You don’t have to tell me what you mean, Jungkook. I meet you and the first thing you say is that you don’t believe in such a thing. I try to get close to you and all you know to do is push me away. And I try so hard to be enough but how can I when Yoojung still has your heart? So you don’t have to say it. I know what you mean.” You’ve stopped crying but the ache relents, and you can only look desperately at the boy who’s slipping from your grasp with every passing second. 

“I’m sorry.” The message is redundant.

“I can’t…” Rip off the bandaid. 

“I just can’t love you.”

The words make their way past his lips before he can stop them, and they shoot through your core ruthlessly. A sharpened dagger to soft flesh. It manifests itself in a physical pain that reverberates across your chest, and when the last strength left in you is used to stare at Jungkook through a pained and teary gaze, you are deaf to everything but those four words.

I can’t love you.

I can’t love you. 

I can’t love you. 

You’re not sure what he is sorry for at this point. If Jungkook is apologizing for not loving you, you don’t blame him. If he is sorry for entertaining the possibility, you don’t blame him. If he is sorry that you are the one with a crescent moon on your wrist, well...you don’t blame him either. All your life you cherished it like some kind of gift from the universe. Now, nursing your crumbling soul in front of Jungkook, you wish it had never appeared in the first place. 

You shake your head, tucking your lip in between your teeth to stop the sob in your chest from escaping. Through the crack of the door Jungkook hadn’t shut fully, the girl was still there, patiently sitting where you were supposed to and making herself scarce after inevitably hearing you bare your heart to a boy who had no interest in it. 

Humiliation goes hand in hand with heartbreak, and the embarrassment that comes with confessing your love and insecurity urges your feet to run home. But even you cannot deprive yourself of looking at him one more time. 

His wavy head of hair. The scar on his cheekbone that makes him look even more beautiful, if that were possible. The gloss in his dark brown eyes, and the way he looks at you through stone cold walls. You commit it to memory, however painful, before you walk out of his life. 

“Be happy, Jungkook.” 

You truly mean it. 

◐

 The sound of your footsteps getting farther away from him is a sound Jungkook thinks he’ll remember for a long time. It almost prompts him to run after you, cradle you to his chest, and profess how sorry he is again and again until you can truly feel the sincerity. But he doesn’t. Only remains behind the self-procured walls and watches when your figure disappears down the hallway. 

Cold. Unbothered. Indifferent. That’s what he had always told himself when it came to you. But the hallway feels so lonely and the ghost of your presence feels even lonelier, and Jungkook wonders if he had been wrong. 

He walks back into the studio, permanent frown on his face and shoulders hunched over in stress. The paintbrush feels like a stranger rather than an extension of his arm, as it always does, but Jungkook begins painting anyway. Looking at the girl in front of him, he is reminded of the look on your face when you realized he had replaced you completely in the span of three weeks, without even giving you a notice. Her presence in his art studio suddenly feels entirely suffocating. 

“Mina, Get out.” 

“What?”

“Get out of my studio. I don’t need you as a model, anymore. Thanks.” His voice cut through the tension of the room, like a hot knife to butter. He recognizes it as the voice he always forces himself to use around you, and grows even more aggravated. 

The girl scoffs annoyedly, snatching her handbag from the floor and rushing out of the room. Obviously she had thought something more was to come from Jungkook’s art arrangement. He made sure to let her know that was not the case. 

There is a gnawing in his chest. Deep and subtle, but it becomes more prominent as the window view from his studio turns from blue to black. He ponders about spending the night in here, instead of going home to his bedroom where he is forced to consult with the agony of solitude. On top of everything today, Jungkook doesn’t think he can handle that. 

Every time he closes his eyes, he sees the pain in your face when he tells you that he can’t love you and he hears the shaking in your voice when you tell him the things that weighed on your soul. He thought the word “wither” was only reserved for flowers. Jungkook didn’t realize a person could wither until he saw it right in front of him. 

In truth, he didn’t know. He didn’t know if he could love you or not. And to Jungkook, that was already a feat in itself. He’s spent so many months convincing himself that his emotional fortress was impregnable. So many nights over whiskey bottles telling himself that love was only for fools and pretenders. To be uncertain about love, now, well...that’s something he is not yet ready to admit to himself. Much less admit to you. But letting you any closer was a fatal game. 

Being uncertain about love means being uncertain about getting hurt. Jungkook has a feeling he wouldn’t make it out in one piece if his heart fell into wrong hands. 

He does end up returning to his apartment that night. But the walk feels far too long and the air feels far too frigid, or perhaps is it because he can’t hear the tread of your footsteps beside him? 

Whatever the reason, tonight feels more lonely.

The stars tell him it’s because he does not like the person he’s alone with. 

Back in room 62B, there is an abandoned painting on a rickety easel. He hadn’t even had the will to wash out his paintbrush, and he’s sure he’ll pay for it the next day. Looking at the piece now, his professor would tell him that there’s too many colors. Too much contrast and nearly not enough depth in his strokes. But what was he to do when he had kicked out his new model and couldn’t get the image of your visible heartbreak out of his brain? 

A familiar wrist with a quaint crescent moon sits on the canvas, and he sure as hell didn’t use Mina as the inspiration. Jungkook reminds himself to throw out the painting tomorrow morning. 

◓

The grease on Jimin’s skillet pan is always so hard to clean. The dish soap never truly cuts through the oil, and no matter how much you rinse it over with scalding water, it still feels soiled. On a normal day, it wouldn’t frustrate you so much. Today, a month-and-a-half after your soulmate made it clear to you that you had no place in his life, you want to throw the pan out the window and cry on the kitchen floor until it collapses with the weight of your tears. 

You settle for throwing down the sponge and making Jimin wash his own dishes.

The phone-that you usually now tend to ignore-buzzes on the counter, and you groan at your complete lack of desire to answer it. But the screen lights up with your roommate’s name and you hit the green button. 

“Y/N! How are you feeling, lovebug?” Jimin’s cheerful tone on speakerphone makes you want to cry. You can only imagine how terrible it is for him to be your roommate when all you know how to do now is mope and cry about a boy who probably hasn’t thought about you since. But he’s been holding you through all your breakdowns, and even sets up the air mattress on the floor of your bedroom when some nights are a little bit harder than most. 

“I’ve had better days”, you glare at the pan in the sink. “What’s up?’

“So I have a friend…”

“Jimin, no.” 

He sighs over the phone understandingly, but still not satisfied. “I know it’s only been a month Y/N, but it doesn’t have to be anything. He’s not looking for anything serious either. But maybe it would be good for you to take your mind off things.” 

It’s been a month. Four weeks. Roughly 31 days, and you still remember every word he said to you in the hallway of the art building. Every pause and quiver of his breath, and the way he looked so completely indifferent to your pain. Was one month enough for you to let go even after finding out Jungkook never planned to hold on in the first place?

“Look, you don’t have to decide now. I’m sorry for pushing you if you’re not ready.” His mumbling is apologetic and it makes you realize that Jimin genuinely means well. Maybe you weren’t ready to move on from Jungkook yet. Maybe you never will be. He was your damn soulmate, after all. But maybe a distraction couldn’t hurt.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I’ll do it.” 

You can practically feel him smiling like an idiot over the phone. “Really?!” You sigh into the speaker and Jimin knows better to continue talking before you change your mind.

“His name is Namjoon, he works with me at the office. Super cute. Super hot. Super smart. Checks all your boxes!”, he rambles on about the nitty gritty details and though a part you is proud that you’re making the decision to move on with life, you can’t help but to realize that no one will ever be able to “check all your boxes”.

Not if they’re not Jungkook. 

“He sounds great, Jimin.” Anyone can tell your happiness is disingenuous, even through the phone. Jimin tells you that he had already planned a date (without your knowledge), and sends you on your way with a quick goodbye when his taxi arrives. The silence of the apartment after the conversation leaves you feeling even more weighted, but hopeful for the possibility of a distraction. You had a feeling you won’t be able to forget the likes of Jeon Jungkook if you tried. But, if only for a night, you were to forget the pain of loving him, you’ll take that chance. 

◑

“What do you mean they all ‘feel the same’?” Jungkook is exasperated. He had drafted a complete version of his portfolio, working through the nights by the sweat of his brow. Now his professor was telling him that all his pieces felt the same and Jungkook thinks he might commit arson to the art studio.

Professor Sejin sighs contemplatively, taking off his glasses and throwing them on the table, all too familiar with Jungkook’s periodic art tantrums. 

“I mean that your pieces lack any variegation. The portfolio is well done and coherent, but the completed package is one-noted. It’s consistent. But too much so.”

Professor Sejin’s words make him fall back into the chair dejectedly, shoulders slumped and disappointment in his eyes at the critique of his art. Though it is hard to hear, Jungkook always welcomes productive criticism. The older man sympathizes with his downcast eyes and the visible stress on his back. 

“Look, Jungkook”, he affirms sincerely, “you just need to find some dynamic. Something to make people know that you can do more than one tone of art.” It’s obvious that the professor has a soft spot for the boy in front of him, who looks like his entire world is collapsing. The portfolio folder is handed back to him and Jungkook has the urge to burn it and not hear the word “gallery” again in the next decade. 

“I have faith in you. You’ll figure out what it is that you’re missing.” The smile on the man’s face is congenial. Genuine. And even though he has an ambitious amount of work to do, Jungkook finds the will to nod, haul himself off the office chair, and begin the trek back to his studio. 

The pinnacle of spring is approaching and the sun shines brighter with each morning. Not that he would know or care. He’s spent the last month locking himself inside, dedicating every fluid ounce of energy towards completing his project. It’s been surprisingly easier, and Jungkook finds himself finishing paintings, sketches, and sculptures with ease. Like untapped inspiration had revealed itself to him suddenly. Yet it still wasn’t enough...at least not according to Professor Sejin. 

Headphones drown out the cacophony of hustlers and bustlers with the laughter of children as accompaniment. He doesn’t allow himself to enjoy the music of the city. Not anymore. It gives him too much space to think, and Jungkook has a feeling that’s not good for anyone and definitely not good for him. 

The sight of a familiar bakery with particularly delicious apple strudels is enough to stop him in his rush, feet winding down until he is standing outside, staring at the door and wondering if he could go in without being reminded of you. Well, it might be too late for that anyhow, but further signs of protest are halted when he hears his growling stomach. 

Jungkook had morbidly underestimated your presence in the memory of his favorite cafe. You are everywhere. He sees your smiling face when he looks up at the chalkboard menu, soul vying for you to be next to him and excitedly choosing a new fru-fru drink that would undoubtedly have excessive sugar. He hears your giggles ruminating through the cafe while the other patrons only hear the music over loudspeaker. He practically feels you near, but that doesn’t matter now. It’s better this way. No one gets hurt this way. 

Jungkook plops himself at a corner table and buries his face in his hands, fingertips soothing over his pulsing eyebags and wrinkles he’s gotten from sleep deprivation. He desperately needs an espresso shot. Or five. 

“Hey…”, a voice makes him snap his head up. Jungkook recognizes the stranger as the owner’s son, who always stands guard at the cash register. The tag on his lapel reads Kim Seokjin, and Jungkook has a distant memory of you gushing over how nice Seokjin’s hair was. He had acted unbothered back then, but Jungkook would die before telling a soul that he was annoyed and jealous when you thought the cashier was cute. 

“Jungkook, right?”. He has a kind smile and a natural air of invitation. Jungkook nods. 

“I’ve seen you around a lot. Where’s that girl you always come here with?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business”, he nearly hisses, antsy at the mere mention of you. He instantly regrets it though. Seokjin looks like he’s been cornered with a blunt weapon, and it makes Jungkook sigh at his own asshole-ishness. 

“I’m sorry”, he mumbles, “just not a good day. At all.” 

There is a pause and hesitation before the boy speaks. “Do you...wanna talk about it?” Seokjin’s question is met with silence. 

There is a predictability about Jeon Jungkook. He doesn’t open himself up to anyone. He pretends that he doesn’t have problems so well, people start to become convinced. He avoids new connections like it’s the plague. But there is something so idiosyncratic about Kim Seokjin that makes him want to talk. Makes him want to trust a complete stranger. 

So Jungkook nods, depositing his black backpack besides him and lets himself breathe deep. 

“Her name is Y/N….”

In the lukewarm air of the café, Jungkook tells Seokjin about you. About the tiny crescent moon on your wrist that identically matches his - even unwraps his cloth to show it - and how he pushed you away hard enough to put an ocean’s worth of distance between the two of you. He tells Seokjin about Yoojung and the stars on her skin that have been plaguing him since the day she left. He tells him about that damn portfolio that refuses to be finished; one that he apparently has to start over because Professor goddamn Sejin says it's too boring. He allows himself to unload, and wow is it easier to breathe when you talk about your feelings. Jungkook reminds himself to do that more often. 

The “conversation” seems to stretch for hours (if a conversation can be considered one person unleashing all their hidden baggage on the other while they sit in silence). Jin listens intently through the entire ordeal, offering occasional nods and encouragement for him to continue. When Jungkook finally finishes with a deep breath, falling back on the chair looking completely worn out, Jin fixes him with a hot tea before speaking.

“The portfolio is important to you, Jungkook. If it’s important to you, you’ll find a way. Something tells me that you’re not one to give up so easily”, he quips with a playful lilt in his voice. Jin’s genuine faith in him makes Jungkook believe in himself.

“And as for Yoojung, well, I can’t speak on your pain. You are the only one that narrates your experiences but as much as she seems like a villain in your story, perhaps she has opened a door.” Jungkook thinks his voice sounds far too wise to be coming from a guy in his 20’s.

“Would you have known how to nurse a broken heart had it not been for her? I’m sorry she did that to you, Jungkook, but..Yoojung is your past. And I see so much in your future.” 

Jungkook only stares into the abyss of his tea cup. The reflection that stares back is someone he desperately wants to learn to love. When he looks up again, there is a sad glimmer in Seokjin’s gaze. Something so despondent that he feels second-hand pain. 

Jin pulls up the sleeve of his knit sweater. On his wrist sits a faded marigold, so blanched it almost blends in with his skin and makes him wonder if it will just disappear one day. Jungkook feels his blood run cold.

“It’s been two years since she died”, he stares solemnly at his skin, “I don’t think a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about her.” 

Jungkook’s thought about his soulmate mark disappearing before. Even hoped and prayed for it the days after Yoojung left. But now, when he sees it up close on Seokjin’s wrist, Jungkook doesn’t want to wish that loneliness upon anyone. 

“She was so damn...persistent”, Jin laughs, fondness dripping in every word. “Like your Y/N in that way, I suppose. She had a goal and was hell-bent on achieving it. She was so kind and strong and much more of a badass than I could ever be. I loved that about her.” There is sorrow in his voice when he uses the past tense, and Jungkook feels even worse for pouring his heart out about his very alive soulmate. 

“She was studying to be a doctor, you know? Ironic that even the best doctors couldn’t have saved her in the end.” His sentence trails off and he loses focus gazing out the window, fidgeting with the ring on his left hand with a faraway look in his eyes. 

“I don’t mean to ramble about my dead soulmate for no reason, Jungkook. And I’m in no position to tell you what you should or should not do regarding Y/N. But if I could restart this life with my soulmate, there wouldn’t be one second I would waste not at her side.” Jin’s tone is not accusatory or convicting. Just honest.

“It’s normal to be scared and apprehensive. Hell, I would be more concerned if you weren’t going into it with a shit ton of skepticism. I was terrified. Yet out of the billions of people that could’ve had my mark on their wrist, just knowing that she was that one was enough for me to love her.”

The cup of tea has long gone cold. Jungkook only manages to stare at the mahogany table, thoughts too heavy to voice aloud, so Jin continues. 

“I think I would give anything to know that such a person still exists for me. Someone out there that was chosen by an unknown, cosmic force for an unexplainable reason just for me. To see a mark that matches my own. Well…”, Jin breathes deeply, tears welling in his eyes but not falling, “I think that must be the most wonderful thing in the entire world.”

◒

Seokjin’s words stick with him long after he has departed from the café. Long after the tea has settled in his stomach along with the weight of what a soulmate means to this stranger whose life story he has learned in the course of an evening. 

Even so, Jungkook’s not sure what he should feel. The fear of vulnerability still feels like a designated thundercloud above his head, and the thought of letting you past his walls makes Jungkook want to run the other way.

At the same time, the trepidation doesn’t feel so heavy anymore. It’s still there, and he can’t pinpoint exactly what happened but when he sees your smiling face behind his eyelids, Jungkook doesn’t feel scared. When he focuses on what you look like under sunlight, or your eyes staring at him through a camera lens, there is no fear of the broken heart you could leave him with. Just something warm. Something that feels an awful lot like...love?

 But what does Jungkook know about such things? 

He shrugs it off his shoulders, and readies himself for a night of inevitably restless sleep. He blames it on the impending due date of his beloved portfolio, but really, it is you. You and your insistence on trying every single coffee shop in the city. You and your convoluted idea of a date; letting your partner choose the location with their eyes closed. You and…

Just everything about you. 

He falls asleep well into 4am. The thin strap of cloth sits on his bedside table. Even if it is only for the night sky to see, Jungkook lets his soulmate mark breathe. 

◐

It’s been so long since you’ve dressed up or cleaned up to go out anywhere, the reflection that stares back feels like a stranger. You’ve opted for a bold red lip, meticulously applying your makeup so that even the wing of your eyeliner was sharp enough to kill. Jimin forced you to curl your hair too, of course. The girl in the mirror looks beautiful. You know that she is beautiful.

So why is it that you can only see the face that is not enough for Jeon Jungkook? A person that he is unable to love. No, not even foundation can cover the face of longing.

“Y/N”, Jimin sing-songs, “hurry! You don’t wanna be late do you?” No, you don’t want to be late. You want to not go. Maybe retreat to your bedroom and cry the night away again. But you won’t tell him that when he is so clearly ecstatic that you’re spending a night out for the first time in months. 

The restaurant looks like it is entirely out of your budget. Well, you reckon any restaurant is out of your budget with all the debt that looms overhead and your painfully apparent unemployment. Waiting for Namjoon is less than exhilarating, and you spend the time fiddling with your bracelet that conveniently covers the crescent moon. These days, you can’t bear to look at it anymore. Your eyes are glued to the little mark, before a voice sounds from across the table.

“Sorry I’m late, traffic was insane. You must be Y/N, nice to meet you.” You weren’t sure what you expected Kim Namjoon to look like but were pleasantly surprised. Namjoon looks like he takes care of himself, neat and clean and sporting a very shiny watch that looks like 4 months’ worth of rent. 

“And you must be Namjoon. Likewise.” 

When he pulls out the chair to sit down, you can’t help but to notice the cloud on his wrist. It was smaller than yours but you had no doubt it felt just as heavy. If Namjoon felt your gaze on his skin, he did nothing to show it. 

“Hey, I know I just got here but…”, he sighs and takes a look around the room, “do you wanna get out of here? Find the cheapest and greasiest food we can?” His request makes you smile, and you grab the purse that rested on the table. 

“Namjoon, I think that’s the best idea you’ve had yet.” 

You and Namjoon manage to find a diner that wasn’t far from the fancy restaurant, and you thank the skies that you didn’t have to pay $50 for a salad tonight. Just some pocket change for quite possibly the best and oiliest hamburger you’ve ever had. 

By conversation that happens through mouthfuls of food and faces smeared with milkshake residue, you come to learn that Namjoon is an unsurprisingly nice guy. He studies poetry, but is working as a secretary at an office, hence his connection to Jimin. He loves to garden and talks about his bonsai plants to you like they’re his kids, even pulling up pictures on his phone and gazing down at them fondly. It makes you smile. He plays the piano, and likes to take long bike rides when the weather permits. 

It’s nice to have someone reciprocate your effort. It’s something you haven’t experienced in a long time, all credit to one Jeon Jungkook. Namjoon is warm in all the corners where Jungkook is cold. 

In a word, he is pretty damn perfect. And if he had a crescent moon on his wrist, you probably wouldn’t bat an eye or have a lick of doubt in the universe. He encompasses everything you want, so alike you in so many aspects it makes you wary. If Namjoon had your matching soulmate mark, you would already be in love with him. 

But he doesn’t. And that thought alone keeps you from feeling anything but platonicity. He is not Jungkook. You don’t think anyone can make you feel the way Jungkook does. You want to curse the stars for making this so. 

It’s well into the night, and you both remain planted in the diner booth, chatting and chuckling over a plate of french fries. It’s when you drift off while he’s talking about his latest attempt at focaccia that Namjoon sighs and sits back in the seat. 

“What?”, you confusedly ask after he suddenly stops speaking.

He smiles. Stays silent for a couple seconds. Then speaks. 

“So what did your soulmate do to you?”

His question catches you off guard and you can only stare at him, frown on your face and words lost on your tongue. 

“You’ve been staring into space every 5 minutes this whole night, and fidgeting with your bracelet so much I’m surprised it hasn’t fallen off”, he explains, tenderness and sympathy in his tone. 

“Every time I speak, you have this sad look in your eyes and I have a feeling you’re imagining someone else’s face, Y/N. I’ve enjoyed talking to you...a lot. But I can tell you want to be somewhere else so”, Namjoon places his elbows on the table and gazes at you endearingly, “tell me about your soulmate.” 

You stare at Namjoon through shocked eyes, glistening with the onset of tears that you manage to keep from escaping. Gosh, you were pathetic. Already wanting to cry at the mere mention of him. Or maybe the fact that someone could see through your facade. You take a deep breath. 

“His name is Jeon Jungkook.” Your voice quivers, and Namjoon continues listening intently. You are reluctant to continue because you know that once this conversation begins, there is a chance you might have to confront yourself again with the pain of loving someone who doesn’t want love. You internally apologize to Namjoon in advance, for you might cry on this first date. 

“I…I’m completely head over heels in love with him  but after everything, I’m not sure I have the slightest clue what love is. Because what sane person can fall in love with a person who has made it clear that that love wouldn’t be reciprocated from the get go?”

You fiddle with the plastic straw in your milkshake, searching for the courage to go on and tell him about every thought that you have denied yourself the satisfaction of verbalizing. 

“He loves apple strudels, you know. Eats them every time like they’re the last apple strudels he’ll ever have and he doesn’t give a damn who’s watching”, you chuckle, gaze drifting off to space. There is a fondness in your eyes as you speak, and Namjoon does not miss it. 

“He’s as punctual as the day is long. One time I was late to a photoshoot and he almost made me cry lecturing me about the importance of being on time. But now I’m never late.” 

The memory makes you, as well as Namjoon, smile. 

“He paints like his life depends on it, and he’ll get oil paint on his face without noticing and sometimes I just want to reach out and wipe it off. But I think he’d murder me on the spot.”

“How come?”, Namjoon offers his first words in the midst of your monologue. You’re not sure what to say next. 

“Well...I think Jeon Jungkook might be the coldest person I’ve ever met”, you dejectedly sigh. Reality tastes bitter even with remnants of whipped cream on your lips. 

“Every time I was around him, it felt like I was willingly breaking my own heart just for the chance to know that he was next to me. That in this entire world of billions of people, the one with the same moon on their wrist was next to me. And...I guess I didn’t really need him to love me yet”, your gaze locks onto Namjoon and you find he is already staring at you with utmost curiosity and subtle pity. 

“Jungkook alone was enough. I just wish he could have felt the same about me.” 

Perhaps the reason why the truth is so painful to speak is because people have a tendency to run from it. Then when it catches up to you, it’s a harsh trip and fall to the rocky ground. There is no cushion when you land. 

Namjoon doesn’t offer advice. Doesn’t dish his own experiences to relate to your own or even make any comments from his perspective. He just sits and listens in silence, but it doesn’t feel like he is disregarding you. No, his eyes tell you that he soaks in every word. You hope you’ll get the chance to do the same for him...if he ever decides to share his story with you. 

The two of you leave the diner with a prospective to be friends, and no plans of a future second date. You had a strong feeling that spending the entire evening talking about your unrequited soulmate love had something to do with that. Nevertheless, though Namjoon didn’t work out as a distraction, you were glad to have met him. It made you realize something.

Even if Jimin thought you were ready to move on. Even if you thought you were ready to forget. It might be a lifetime before you finally let go of that boy.

◓

The morning reeks of rain and dew, humidity nearly clawing its way through his window and turning his apartment into a swamp. When he wakes up, it is not to his blaring alarm clock, but the uncomfortable sensation of a sweaty shirt sticking to his back. Jungkook groans, already tired of this day. It seems hopeless from the beginning. 

As much as he wanted to stay home and crank up the air conditioner so much that his landlord would come running, Professor Sejin’s voice reverberates through his eardrums.

You art is too one-noted, Jungkook.

Be better, Jungkook.

You’re talentless and will never succeed, Jungkook. 

Of course, these are not Professor Sejin’s verbatim, more so Jungkook’s own mind that twists his teacher’s constructive criticism into something else. He is a master at feeding his insecurity.

Jungkook chugs down a lukewarm cup of black coffee, and his stomach growls for something with a little more sugar and maybe a dash of rainbow colored sprinkles. He guesses he has you to thank for that. The art studio is always a daily destination, and this day is no different. Jungkook has a plan to dedicate himself to fixing his portfolio and maybe finish that clay piece he never got around to. 

The studio is too cold for his liking; Jungkook can’t remember how many times he has begged the superintendent to lower the AC. The cold he can deal with. The loneliness, however, is a different story. Jungkook is always alone. Alone when he’s in his apartment. Alone when he’s in class. Alone when he’s in the art room. These days, aloneness feels more haunting when he knows he had the option to escape it, but chose to stay. A part of him is ready to admit that it’s because of you. 

Jungkook hums a random melody that had been stuck in his head since the morning, fingers gliding over the slick sculpting clay. The days are easier now. He doesn’t think about you so much when the sun is out and there is the bustling of the busy city to distract him. The nights, however, are just as difficult as they have been. Jungkook’s last drifting thought is of you, and your face torturously carries over to each dream. Like his entire being misses you but he refuses to accept it. 

He takes a deep sigh in relief once the sculpture feels finished. Professor Sejin wanted something more dynamic, so there: his very own realist clay piece drawing inspiration from Praxiteles’ sculpture of Aphrodite. He sits back in pride, admiring his own handiwork and giving himself a mental pat on the back. It looks great. Perfect even. It looks….

It looks like you. 

Jungkook pales at the realization as the clay face stares back at him. No, this was supposed to be Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty and love, inspired by the ancient Greek artist that sculpted her. Then why does she have your nose? Those eyes are definitely your’s and even those cheeks are identical. Jungkook hadn’t even realized that in the rhythm of his art, he got lost and accidentally sculpted your face instead. 

He walks away from the clay table and hurriedly yanks off the soiled apron around his waist, confusion swimming in every cell of his body. How had he just...made a sculpture of you? With no knowledge that he was doing it?

Jungkook leans with his back against the sink, staring down at the floor with furrowed brows and a thundering heart. With a sudden epiphany, Jungkook leaps from his position and pulls out all the canvases, printed photographs, graphite drawings, and clay pieces he’s made for the past few months. Everything he can grab in the small studio space. 

It is then that he comes to the daunting realization:

Holy shit.

Professor Sejin was right.

 Everything feels the same. His whole portfolio has one note and no dynamic or diversity because...well, because all of his pieces are of you. Not you, necessarily, but your breath has come alive on his art in some way, shape, or form. 

The multimedia painting he made two weeks ago using polystyrene sheets was supposed to mimic sunlight through a stained glass window, but Jungkook hadn’t even noticed he'd drawn the window of the café you dragged him to on its opening day. And the colors of the glass is just the twinkle of your eyes when they stare back into his. 

The photoset he spent hours taking around the city, after taking a 15 minute train ride, were just repeats of all the places you two went to that one day. The book store. The park. The streetlight where Yoojung stopped him. He hadn’t even realized he only saved the photos associated with a subconscious memory of you. 

Jungkook can’t explain it, but he feels you in every single picture. Every piece of art that his hands have manifested since you walked into his life, stupid smile on your face and that little moon on your wrist. He feels it...and call it artist’s intuition or something but perhaps that’s why Professor Sejin could feel it too. 

Even though he stopped making you his muse months ago, you are still the root of inspiration for whatever he’s produced since. And if that’s not enough to finally tell him what he needs to hear. Finally make him realize that he’s fallen in love with you without even knowing it, the universe doesn’t know what will. 

The minutes it has been since he realized your place in his life melts like slow dripping honey, feeling like an eternity when it is mere moments. Jungkook regains his focus in the haze. He knows what you mean to him now, but there was something he had to fo first. 

He swipes all his paintbrushes and palette knives to the side, sweat on his brow as he furiously rearranges his portfolio. He takes out the pictures of Mina - no one would miss them anyway - and trashes all the photos he took before he met you. He only uses the art he’s created post-Y/N and tucks them in the manila folder so rapidly, there’s paper cuts on his fingers. But he doesn’t feel them. Jungkook has only one objective. 

He snaps a picture of the new clay sculpture he’s just finished. The photo goes into the portfolio with the name ‘Aphrodite’, but Jungkook knows better about whose face that truly belongs to. Not that anyone would bat an eye. He thinks you are as beautiful as the goddess herself. 

The trip to Professor Sejin’s office is short, unsurprising though, since Jungkook sprints the whole way there. When he arrives, and the professor can only stare as he’s bent over and huffing violently trying to catch his breath, Jungkook reminds himself to spend less time at the studio and more time on the cardio. 

He throws the portfolio onto the man’s desk unceremoniously, nearly collapsing on the chair across from him and not ready to speak yet. Professor Sejin confusedly rifles through the folder quickly, too quickly, and sighs, ready to offer Jungkook yet the same critique again. 

He opens his mouth, but Jungkook cuts him off. 

“Before you say anything…”, he gulps, finally ready to admit the truth to himself. 

“I want you to know that I’ve met my soulmate, a-and there’s a reason why you feel that my portfolio is all the same. There’s a reason why you feel it’s all one-noted or that there’s no progression.” Jungkook takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, and you are there behind his lids. 

“It’s because she sowed the seeds for all of them. Everything. They’re just symptoms of what it feels like to be loved by her. Art is meant to come from your soul, no? And when I reach into my soul to find it, it’s just her. It’s only her.” Professor Sejin stays silent at his monologue, gaze unreadable but eyes sharp and trained solely on Jungkook. 

“Maybe...Maybe art doesn’t need to be super variegated all the time. Maybe it’s supposed to be a cohesive unit and the pieces should string to each other. Maybe paintings should have a relationship to photos and them, to sculptures. Maybe you’re just...wrong.” 

He is exasperated and passion flows out of him through every pore. Jungkook looks expectantly at his professor, who has the open folder in his hand and still in the process of taking in his words. When the adrenaline starts to fade, he realizes that he just dissed his venerable teacher. 

“With all due respect…”, he coughs, “sir.” 

Professor Sejin lets Jungkook spend the next couple minutes in complete torturous silence so that he can finish reviewing his portfolio. The tension is cut with the sound of the man’s hands slapping together as he closes the folder. Jungkook prepares himself for a stern lecture.

However, when he looks up, there is a smile on the man’s face. There’s no malice there, or even disdain. He pulls off his glasses, sets them on the table, and sits back in the office chair, arms folded over his chest. Jungkook can feel his heart threatening to pound past his rib cage. 

“Jungkook…”, Professor Sejin declares, “I think you’ve got a contender for the gallery spot.” 

◑

If someone had asked you what Jeon Jungkook meant to you, you would look them in the eye and tell them that he meant nothing. Because it’s easier to pretend that someone does not mean anything to you after they pretend that you do not exist. That the universe had not given you both matching marks and deemed that your souls were meant for each other. Jeon Jungkook is a stranger to you. One that you wanted so badly to love. But you’ve come to learn that no matter how hard you try; you can’t love someone who doesn’t want to love at all.

So the days trickle by as they usually do. Painstakingly slow and viscous with memories of a boy named Jeon Jungkook and the way he has hurt you enough to last a little bit over forever. 

“I understand why you don’t want to go, Y/N. But aren’t you the least bit curious? Especially after that fancy invitation in the mail?” Jimin’s query is innocent. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t make your blood boil. 

“I don’t know...the thought of going to my soulmate’s grand art gallery when the last time we spoke, he told me he can’t love me, just doesn’t seem appealing Jimin”, you snark, burying your face into the bowl of cereal you are now spooning far too aggressively. 

“But...it’s been months. And he wouldn’t have sent you an invitation if he didn’t want you to come.” 

This conversation has happened too frequently since that red envelope arrived at your apartment. You cried your eyes out when you opened it, both out of pride for Jungkook and the fact that no matter what you did, the universe found a way to keep you from moving on. 

A sigh heaves through your chest, and the cereal is abandoned by your loss of appetite. “I’m not going to show up there and have him tell me again all of the reasons he can’t be with me. I barely survived it last time.” 

“But what if, Y/N?”

There is a glimmer in Jimin’s eye and he radiates so much hopefulness for you, you can’t help but to feel it too. 

“Isn’t the what if already enough? You used to tell me that Jungkook was worth anything. Isn’t he worth the risk this time too?”

You don’t have anything else to say after that because as much as you hate to admit, perhaps Jimin is right. Jungkook is worth going through anything for, even if he wants to stay as far away as possible. Call it a fluke in the postal system that the invitation to his gallery landed on your doorstep, but can you allow yourself to read between the lines and dare say that he sent it himself? Can you put yourself through such a perilous thing like optimism?

Jungkook has left you battered and broken for the past months. But you would give your heart to him to break all over again if he asked. 

◒

To say that you did not fit in with those dawdling around the art gallery was a gross understatement. You didn’t just not fit in. Your entire presence and aura defied every expectation, and suddenly, watching the upper echelon of the city mingle with champagne and gaze critically at Jungkook’s art, makes every breath feel like an insecurity. 

The boy in question was nowhere in sight, and you now regret not dragging Jimin with you. The invitation had specifically prohibited plus one’s, and though Jimin whined to no end about his hurt feelings and emptily promised never to talk to Jungkook again, you managed to keep him home. Now, you wish you were back at the apartment with him.

The pieces were, in short, completely breathtaking (to no surprise, of course, this was Jungkook you were talking about). Though you knew he always held doubt in himself, in the short time he allowed you to be in his life, you had never once thought he was anything less than spectacular. Yet you could not allow yourself to completely enjoy them. Each brushstroke and paint color you remember from his palettes, or the filters on the photos that you helped him with, was agonizing to look at. 

You are standing in front of a canvas titled “Windowlight” when a man comes up beside you. He nurses a flute of bubbly champagne and makes no move to gain eye contact. Unknown to you, Professor Sejin knows exactly who you are. He’s seen your face in his student’s portfolio one too many times. 

“Artful use of mixed media, isn’t it?”, he mutters.

“I suppose so.” 

“He’s quite the prodigy. Have you met him yet? I’m sure he’s lurking around somewhere.” The man takes a sip from his glass, smirk on his lips hidden from your eyes that still blankly stare ahead.

“Yes. He’s a...friend.” We share a soulmate mark. He hates my guts. 

He hums a sound of affirmation and you ignore the weird feeling it leaves in your stomach; one that tells you this stranger sees right through you. 

“Ah, how rude of me. Professor Sejin. Arts director and senior advisor.” He spares you a brief glance, but you make no move to shake his hand or pretend to be courteous. You don’t have the energy for it tonight. Just being in this building, surrounded by everything Jungkook has touched, makes you want to collapse into yourself. 

“It was nice to meet you, Y/N.” He speaks nonchalantly, and you almost miss the fact that you never told him your name. Your brows crease in confusion and you are ready to turn and interrogate the stranger, but he is already walking away, gliding smoothly across the gallery. Before he gets too far, though, Sejin cranes his neck and makes eye contact. 

“Oh, and be sure to visit the one called ‘Moon’. It’s upstairs, next to the Aphrodite sculpture on the second level exhibit”, he entreats, a suspicious lilt in his voice.

“Something tells me you’ll appreciate its…sincerity.”

Honestly, you’re not sure what you expected when you came to Jungkook’s art gallery tonight. But to be approached by a stranger who already knows your name, who dubiously instructs you to seek out a mystery art piece, was not on the list of expectations. Still...Professor Sejin’s words made you curious. 

Through the night, your eyes subconsciously seek out that familiar head of fluffy brown hair and a tall gait that always seems to stick out, even in a large crowd. It was as if Jungkook versed himself in complete camouflage, so much so that you began to doubt that he was even in the building.  

The traipse through the gallery is done in silence and solitude, and you tune out the sounds of popping champagne and raucous laughter coming from the second floor, as the patrons undoubtedly banter over which piece to auction off. You hope he keeps them. You’ve never seen someone appreciate art the way that Jungkook does. 

You catch sight of a few pieces that you recognize, ones that you remember him showing you when he had finished. You always excitedly told him every single one was a masterpiece, and Jungkook only rolled his eyes and made minimal effort at hiding the blush on his cheeks. Your steps falter when you come across a set of photographs in black and white, set in consecutive frames next to each other and it feels so warm despite the lack of color. Jungkook just had that special talent when it came to photography. 

It’s the bookstore. In the city during the impromptu train ride you had coerced him to take. Your heart catches in your throat as you recognize all the other ones immediately because well...you’ve been to all those spots. A familiar pressure builds in the back of your eyes, and you swallow down a whimper of pain. 

The urge to leave becomes too strong. But not strong enough to quell the slow burn of curiosity from Professor Sejin. There is a chance that you might not run into Jungkook at all tonight with the vast space and people bumbling through the corridors. It hurts to think that you might never see him again at all, but you’ll allow yourself another indulgence. Something is calling you. 

Moon. He titled it Moon? You grip onto your wrist reflexively and run your thumb over the mark, like you did when you were younger and still had hope for soulmates. The pulsepoint there beats under your finger and lets you know how alive you are. Compels you to give into your curiosity, even if it might decimate your already crumbling heart. The stairs that lead up to the second floor are short, but the trek feels like it knocks the wind out of you, or perhaps that was just the anticipation of what was waiting for you on the other side.

You were right to be scared. Because right in the smack dab center of the circular room is where you see it, and your gasp is one that can be heard from each wall and corner. 

A painting of you. A portrait from the waist up, with oil paint and so much detail, Jungkook has even managed to line the shallow wrinkles by your eyes when you smile. You have never considered yourself beautiful in any sense but the way he has captured you on canvas starts to make you believe that you truly are. You feel Jungkook in each streak of the brushstroke where he hadn’t spread the color evenly. It is as if the painting is alive, and though you are staring at yourself, it doesn’t feel like the way it does in the mirror. Doesn’t feel like a reflection. 

No, this feels like looking through Jungkook’s eyes. It is what he sees in you, rather than what you see in yourself. And what he sees is beautiful. Through the haze of shock and confusion as to why he chose this as the centerpiece, you don’t notice the warm presence that lurks behind you. The one that has watched your every move since you walked into this building. 

“Yeah, that’s my favorite one too.” 

You whip your head around so quick it nearly gives you whiplash, but the sight of him is the nail in the coffin. Jungkook is cleaned up in a black suit, and an unfamiliar smile on his lips he rarely lets you see. A genuine one that he’s tried to hide so many times but now that it’s clear and up close, you resent him for keeping it from you. 

Jungkook is just as gorgeous as the day you lost him. 

But looking at him hurts. You don’t know why you’re even here, and why he sent the invitation, or why he was standing in front of you now and there is not a sliver of antipathy in his eyes. You don’t know why your face is plastered in the center of the gallery. Most of all, you don’t know why you are still weak in the knees for Jeon Jungkook. 

“Although, I have to say, it was a close race between this one and the pictures I made you take at the lake, when you nearly dunked me in the river because it was so cold”, he breathily laughs but you aren’t able to get through the shock just yet. If Jungkook notices your starstruck state, he doesn’t let it affect him. 

“And I definitely have to give some credit to the one I painted after you told me about your dream”, Jungkook prattles on, “where you were a mermaid who planted peaches under the sea, remember? That’s an honorable mention.” 

These memories make you want to smile but in this moment, the best you can do is try to hold yourself together when your eyes begin to warm with tears. Jungkook stays silent when you do. He notices you haven’t said a word and your gaze refuses to meet his. 

“Why are you doing this, Jungkook?”, you curse yourself when your voice cracks. “Why are you telling me these things? Haven’t you hurt me enough?” Jungkook’s smile drops off his face, and for once, you can see your own pain reflected in his eyes. 

He takes a deep breath, hands hanging limply at his side that itch to wrap themselves around yours. To feel your skin. Feel your mark. 

“I…”, he hesitates in his words, “I remember that day every night when I go to sleep, Y/N. Every time I shut my eyes, I just see your face when I told you I can’t love you, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt such aching before. Not even when she left me.” Jungkook’s voice is tinted with desperation but it just makes your walls rise higher. 

He’s lying to you. Your tongue wants to protest, but he continues. 

“I see you in everything”, Jungkook breathes out, like he is also admitting it to himself. 

“The paintbrushes I can never put down to the black coffee I force myself to drink nowadays because the ones I actually like, the ones with too much whipped cream and vanilla syrup, just reminds me of you.” His brows are knitted, and his feet vie to step closer to your quivering form. But you look like a caged animal about to bolt at any moment. 

“And when I’m reminded of you, I am reminded of…”, he gulps down the fear, “I’m reminded of how I am utterly in love with someone who deserves so much more than what I have put them through.”

The blood that runs through your veins drops to subzero temperatures, and you swear in the split millisecond that you have absorbed what he’s just said, your heart ceases its beating. The world stops turning, and the waves still for a brief moment. You can’t find any words just yet, but Jungkook can see straight through you and your stupefied expression. 

“Y-you’re lying to me, Jungkook. Stop lying.” 

“I’m not lying, please…” Jungkook knows he’s losing you by the second, but he’s promised you he would persist. He just wants you to listen. Wants you to feel how sorry he is, and how his soul screams to be next to your’s. 

“I can’t explain how it happened. Like it was an epiphany. Like someone has been screaming at me and I had been ignoring them, and that someone was my own heart.” Jungkook doesn’t stumble over his words once. He does not stutter because it is the plain white truth. 

“Stop, Jungkook.”

“It’s been knocking on the door of my chest and when I finally let it in, it just yells and shouts ‘oh my god, you’re in love’ and then I realized oh my god, i’m in love. In between painting you and convincing myself that soulmates meant nothing to me, I’ve completely and unquestionably fallen in love with you, Y/N.” 

Jungkook can’t decipher the look on your face. Something between the lines of disbelief and heartbreak, and it makes him want to split at the seams at the pain he’s put you through. How he’s convinced you you’re impossible to love. He vows to make it right again.

“Jungkook-”

“And you’re wrong, you know. You’re not hard to love. Hell, I was dead set on never loving again and you managed to make me so smitten, I can’t paint or draw a damn thing without including some aspect of you in it.” Jungkook steps back and gestures to all the canvases and photos that hang on the wall. 

“Take a look around, Y/N. It’s all you. Every piece.” Once he says it, you finally notice Every piece of art in this room can be traced to you, or a memory you two share. It’s so clear, you don’t know how you missed it before. You feel yourself in the art Jungkook has poured his soul into. Instead of making you feel elated, these words that you’ve been waiting your entire life to hear just ignites the sting. 

“Just stop. Please.” It is only a weak whisper through your lips, and he ignores it. 

“If you can’t forgive me, I get it Y/N. I can’t forgive myself either. But can you just know that you are enough. You are more than what I deserve. And I know you told me to be happy, but there is no way I can possibly do that without you.” 

When your gaze falls to the floor, you notice that his wrist is clean of any bracelets or watches. Come to think of it, this is one of the first times you are seeing it clear and in the flesh. Jungkook doesn’t tell you, but nowadays, he doesn’t allow anything to impede on the sight of the crescent moon.

When your guard is down and you are distracted, he finds the perfect time to finally reach forward and take your hand in his. His touch is gentle when it wraps around your wrist, tugging off the ribbon that circled it, and revealing the matching mark. Your pulse jumps under his fingers, and skips a beat when he runs a thumb over the moon. You are already melting with such simple contact, and you almost allow yourself to succumb. Almost.

It’s as if suddenly his skin was scalding, and you snatch your wrist from his grasp at lightning speed. The tears that have strayed down your face are wiped away as quickly as they came. The surprise on his face is missed by your eyes because before he can comprehend what is happening, you are bolting down the staircase and out the glass doors of the gallery. No, you cannot forgive him yet. What would you do if he hurt you again? You don’t think you would survive. 

You ignore the pain of seeing his art pieces as you run, now that you know you are the muse behind them all. The only noise is the sound of blood rushing in your ears, and you are oblivious to the racket of Jungkook’s shoes clapping against marble flooring as he chases after you, expertly dodging the other patrons and butlers holding trays of champagne. 

And Jungkook? Well, he is oblivious to the complete turmoil that runs through your every nerve. He only sees your back, and not the way you bite your lip painfully to keep the sobs from escaping. Not the way your pain is exhibited clear as day in the crease of your eyebrow and the wrinkle of your nose. 

The air outside is so cold it bites at your nostrils, but makes it easier to breathe. The wind calms the thundering heart in your chest.

He must be lying. There was no way he had a change of heart now, not when he was so rooted in his belief before. There is no virtual possibility, on any plane of existence, on any dimension where Jeon Jungkook has fallen in love with you. 

Right?

The hand that circles around your wrist tightly to keep you from getting any farther tells you that you are wrong. He did come after you. Jungkook’s strength forces you to stop running, but you can’t find the courage to turn around and face him just yet. But you don’t make an effort to pull away, and he takes it as progress.

“You can run if you want, Y/N. You can walk away from me and from us, but don’t doubt that I’ll always be chasing after you. For as long as it takes.” He is panting and speaking through heavy breaths, but you hear him. Loud and clear. 

“I won’t let you leave again. Not like last time.”

There is no malice. No coldness, and for the first time since you’ve met him, his words feel like warm honey instead of monotone ice. He is utterly distraught when you turn around slowly, hesitant like you’re afraid he will break your heart right then and there. 

His heart shatters at the wetness at your waterline, and the way you look up at him; completely vulnerable and scared. 

“Do you promise?” 

There is a lot of weight in your three-word question. It’s not as innocent as meets the eye, and Jungkook knows it. He feels it. When you ask him if he promises, it is an invitation back to you. You are offering him your heart, which he has already broken and bruised, and trusting him to be careful with it this time around. Jungkook already knows he loves you. And if you let him, he’ll spend the rest of his life making sure this promise remains unbroken. 

“I promise.” 

It’s a commitment. One he used to be terrified of making, but it seems so easy when it’s for you. 

And when you fly forward to wrap your arms around him, Jungkook feels like home. Like the stars twinkle a little brighter and the earth stops spinning for a mere second, just for the two of you. You feel him squeeze you closer, just as tightly, and Jungkook wants to kick himself for depriving you both of a simple thing called love. 

You are here, souls and now bodies intertwined, and Jungkook lets the pain of past hurt fall away. Pain is so miniscule when you are by his side. When you pull back, Jungkook frowns at your red-rimmed eyes, and the tears that still persist. He wipes it away oh so softly, as if you were delicate clay and he, a sculptor. 

“Please don’t cry anymore, princess, it breaks my heart. I’m so sorry.” It is the softest, most sugary tone you’ve ever heard out of him. But hearing affection from his lips makes you feel that perhaps all of this sorrow, this longing, has been worth it. He has been worth it. He always has. 

“I love you, Y/N.” Jungkook’s words are almost as beautiful as he is. 

His lips are familiar when you lean forward and kiss him. Yet they are different. This time, the hands on your waist hold you a bit more carefully, even closer if that were possible. You can feel his thudding heart as it beats against your own, learning to match rhythms with each other, and Jungkook cradles your face in his hand like you are the only artwork he has truly been proud of. 

And it’s true. All the canvases and paints and camera film seem wasted now. Nothing he ever makes will be quite as alluring as the art he holds in his arms in this moment. 

“I love you too, you goddamn idiot.”

You meant it all those months ago, and you mean it now. If Jeon Jungkook was the sun, you would gladly change your name to Icarus. If Jeon Jungkook was the moon, then you are the tides that he pushes and pulls. If Jeon Jungkook belonged to you, well...you don’t have to imagine that anymore. He is your’s, as you are his. 

Old habits die hard, but they are not immortal. They wax and wane, and remind you that in the cosmic vastness of things, you are only human. Humans whose hearts beat in tandem and souls made to complete the other. Humans with identical crescent moons, lost but now found.

Old habits die hard. But you have learned to fix those of a broken heart. 

Huffs escaped him every other step as he gripped the railing for support, letting his head roll to the side with a close of his eyes once he’d successfully made it through the fire and ache that was his muscles right now. 

After fiddling with your stubborn lock and door handle, he sighed in relief as he entered your place, pouting a bit as he heard you clanging pots and pans in the kitchen. Glancing at his phone, he supposed it was dinner time. But he wanted nothing to do with food and everything to do with you. 

Kicking off his shoes, he slid his phone back into his pocket, rolling his shoulders back as well as his neck. The burn eased only slightly from the action. This was worse than he’d felt in a while. 

The pout stayed on his lips as he shuffled into the kitchen, pausing in the doorway for a second to watch as you stirred something over the stovetop, shifting your face over the open pot every once in a while to make sure you were doing it right. 

The action made him feel slightly less tired and all the more fond, a gentle greeting smile from you brightening his attitude almost completely before he tried to take another step toward you, calf tightening into a painful cramp as he hissed in a breath through his teeth. 

You immediately frowned in concern, taking the initiative to walk the one step to close the gap between you, wrapping your arms around him and letting out an ‘oof’ as he rested his body weight on you. 

“Hi.” Jungkook mumbled through his pout, hair hanging into his eyes and blocking his full expression from your view. 

Even without seeing the man, you could tell he wasn’t in his regular mood, heavy on his feet with nothing left to give. It irked you, seeing him like this. 

“Hi. You okay?” You wondered aloud, a question you fully knew the answer to as you sneakily reached your arm back to turn the heat down on the burner, allowing the food to rest a bit while you investigated your boyfriend’s serious lack of Jungkook. 

“Mm. Tired.” He replied flatly, shrugging a bit as his eyes drooped to stare back at you. 

Frowning as he remained uncharacteristically silent after his brief answer to your question, you tucked some of his long strands back behind his ear, sighing through your nostrils at the dark circles the action revealed to you. 

He was tired. He was so fucking tired.

Quickly making the executive decision to move the pot to a completely cold burner, you turned back around to place your hands on his chest, letting an arm slide around his back to support his slumped frame. 

The man’s face remained unmoving as you encouraged his other arm to rest around your neck, your boyfriend grunting as the motion strained his muscle but sighing nonetheless at the relief it gave him. Finally, he didn’t feel quite as heavy as when he was holding himself up.

“C’mon, baby. Let’s get you cleaned up.” You tugged at the hand of his arm resting on your shoulder gently, letting his exhausted body lean on you as you retreated down the hallway.

“Thank you.” He spoke weakly, melting into you further as you dipped your head to press a kiss to the hand resting upon your shoulder, his fingers stroking at your shirt in response. 

Leading him into the bathroom, you propped the sleepy man against the counter, popping out of the room only momentarily to grab a towel from the hallway closet, placing it beside the sink for him and walking over to the shower to play with the water temperature.

“Shower or bath?” You asked to the man behind you, hand hovering over the nozzle to adjust the setting as he let out a deep sigh. 

“Shower. I think I’d fall asleep in a bath.” He admitted sheepishly, making you chuckle a bit before nodding. 

“Shower it is, then.” 

As you switched the stream of running water from tub to shower head, the spray of the water against the tub drowned out almost every other noise, even the soft hum coming from your throat as you pulled the curtain all the way back for easy access inside. Holding your hand out to the man, you gestured for him to come to you with a fold of your fingers, Jungkook easily following your lead as he trudged over to you. 

“Hi, lovey.” You greeted him again, softer this time as you slid your hand underneath the hem of his shirt to grip the fabric. Leaning forward to catch your lips with his, he planted a soft kiss to the flesh, the action gentle and tired as he tried to relay the gratefulness he felt in this moment. Pulling back with a slight smile, you lifted your eyebrows as your boyfriend chuckled at you.

“What?” You asked, making him laugh a bit more and only increasing your confusion. 

“Every time we kiss you act like it’s the first time.” He commented, a bit of teasing in his tone as he smirked a bit back at you. 

You let out a scoff at his words, lifting the material of his shirt to trap his head in the fabric and making him let out a loud laugh at the action. The moment was the first positive sign you’d seen since he arrived home, making your heart feel content as you smiled at his hidden face beneath the cotton. Releasing his head from the shirt, you tossed the black tee to the ground, Jungkook taking the lead on his shorts as he shoved them and his underwear down his thighs. 

“It feels like the first time every time.” You said softly, stepping aside so that Jungkook could make his way into the basin.

“For me too,” he smiled, “you coming?” He referenced the running shower, an open invitation to join the man behind the curtain with pleading doe eyes. 

“Mm, I should finish dinner so that when you get out-”

“Please?” He pouted again, making you blow a breath out past your lips before caving.

“Okay. I’ll be back in a moment, you get in and start without me.” You instructed, the man grinning a bit before stepping into the tub, letting out an immediate sigh at the ease of the water pounding down on his sore back. 

Walking into your bedroom, you quickly made your way over to his drawer in your dresser, picking out another one of his black t-shirts and boxers for him to sleep in and setting them out on the bed. 

Making your way back to the bathroom with an extra towel in hand, you held back your own yawn as you stepped inside the already steamy air of the bathroom, the curtain left the slightest bit open for your expected return.

Peeling your shirt up over your head, you dropped it onto the group of Jungkook’s clothes, letting your shorts slide down your legs to join the pile before pulling the curtain back a bit more. The action revealed a very dry Jungkook, leaning against the tile wall instead of underneath the water like you’d been expecting. Scoffing at his smirk as you stepped into the shower, you gestured to his dry strands of hair, raising your eyebrows in amusement. 

“You were supposed to start without me.” You commented on the barely wet hair framing his face, the man full-on grinning at you as he pulled your body closer to his, guiding you both underneath the stream of water. 

“Now why would I do that?” He asked teasingly, giggling when you shook your head at him. 

“You’re annoying. Give me the shampoo.” You ordered, another big smile twisting at the man’s lips as he dutifully nodded, grabbing the bottle of your shampoo from behind him before you stopped him with a grasp on his wrist.

“Yours, love.” You directed him, pointing to the sweet-smelling shampoo Jungkook adored, having become his favorite shortly into staying over with you and now referred to as ‘his’ by the both of you.

“I wanna wash your hair.” He pouted, you swiping the unfavorable expression off with a kiss to his chin before reaching over to retrieve the shampoo you’d directed him to get. 

“Another time. Right now I need to get you clean and in bed.” You said authoritatively, the man raising his eyebrows in amusement as you squeezed a dollop of the shampoo onto your palm. 

“Aw, babe. I love when you talk nurturing to me.” He smirked, a chuckle exhaled out your nostrils at his words. 

“Yeah, yeah. Just shut your eyes, unless you want me to burn them with this cherry blossom shit.”

After you were done washing his hair, having to occasionally pause to direct his hands back to your hips from where they sometimes started wandering over your body throughout, you began lathering the bottle of body soap in your hands, rubbing down his arms and torso and all around his back to wash away the sweat and aches from his day. 

“Why won’t you let me touch you?” He practically whined after you moved his hand off your stomach the fourth time, letting you pick his arm up to run the water along the limb and successfully run the soap off. 

“Because I know it won’t end there. And I need to get you to bed, remember?” You tutted, placing one more kiss to his jaw before leaning over to shut the water off, setting your hand on his back to encourage him out of the shower. 

His legs didn’t budge, hand collecting your own to stubbornly guide you out ahead of him. 

“You first.” He emphasized as you remained standing in the tub, rolling your eyes with a sigh before you stepped out with the help of his hand. Reaching for one of the towels you’d gathered, you spread it out in front of your body, holding it out by the edges for the man to step into. 

“C’mon, Kookie.” You gestured with a nod of your head, your soft tone making a smile light up his face as he finally stepped out of the tub. Immediately enveloping him in the soft towel, you wrapped him in the dry fabric, hugging him as tired chuckles escaped his lips. 

“Go get dressed. I’ll be there in a minute.” You patted his butt, eliciting more giggles out of the man before he spun on his heel to leave the bathroom.

You could tell the shower had done a lot for his muscle tightness and overall attitude, the familiar smile you’d fallen in love with so long ago making a reappearance within moments of the water making contact with his skin.

Grabbing the other towel, you wrapped it around your own torso, squeezing the ends of your hair a bit, lifting and setting your feet down against the carpet to dry them before stepping out onto the tile floor. 

Shuffling into your bedroom, you whistled at the sight in front of you, a very bare Jungkook turning around to face you with the towel you’d wrapped around him bunched at his feet. 

“Hello there.” You flirted, your boyfriend scoffing as he looked down to his spread boxers, ready for him to step into. The smile remained on his face as he pulled the underwear up his legs, settling them on his hips before directing his gaze back to you.

“Hi, gorgeous.” He crooned, walking over to you with a smirk as he dropped a kiss to your temple. 

“Stop that.” You hushed, shoving his shoulder in an attempt to get him off of you from where he was latched onto your side, head down in the nook between your neck and shoulder pressing kisses to the still-wet skin.

“Oh, so you can flirt with me but I can’t flirt with you?” He raised his eyebrows, you nodding with a confirming hum as you successfully wriggled out of his hold. 

“Precisely.” You replied, slipping a large t-shirt over your torso and opening your drawer in search of proper underwear. 

“Mm. That sounds fair.” He hummed, feet padding against the floor as he exited the room, bent at the waist to ruffle the towel through his hair as he walked. 

After getting some of your regular sleep clothes on, you followed the route your boyfriend had taken moments before, squeezing the water out of your hair with the towel much like he’d done previously. 

“I love when your hair curls like that.” 

Jungkook’s eyes widened at the suddenness of your voice in the room, meeting your fond gaze through the mirror as you watched him wet a cloth underneath the running faucet. 

His dark hair was hanging in waves around his face, tendrils already half dry as they framed his cheeks. His doe eyes stared at you through the mirror, completely bypassing your comment as he turned to you, wet cloth still in hand. 

“You look really pretty.” He grinned, your head tipping in confusion as you gestured to your old ratty t-shirt; it was your classic bedtime attire and frankly, one of the ugliest outfits in existence. 

“How can you even say that right now?” You chuckled, the man mirroring your actions as his teeth beamed at you, eyes watching as you stepped forward and took the cloth from his hand, directing it back under the stream of water from the faucet. 

“I can say that all the time. You always look pretty.” He shrugged, smiling at your exhaled scoff as you waved him off. 

After squeezing the excess water from the washcloth with your hands, you twirled a strand of his hair around your finger, forming a firmer curl around your appendage and nodding once to affirm your work. 

“You’re prettiest.” You concluded with a smile, backing him up so that the backs of his tired knees hit the toilet, easily giving out and letting him land on the closed seat with a grunt. 

“You’re strongest, that’s for damn sure.” He huffed teasingly, watching you roll your eyes at him as you leaned over to grab his face wash. As you repositioned yourself in front of him to apply the foam onto his skin, his eyes poured into yours, making you hum in question at the glint in his eye. 

“C’mere.” He said simply, arms tightening around your thighs to pull you down onto his lap, your legs reflexively wrapping around his waist as he smiled in approval.

“Much better.” He squeezed your hips lovingly, wiggling his eyebrows at you to make it harder for you to focus on your application of the foam as you finally locked eyes with him. 

“Jungkook, I’m trying to take care of you.” You whined, making him stop immediately as he pursed his lips out, humming when you reflexively pressed yours to them. 

“What?” You asked, genuinely confused at the softened look in his eye. For god’s sake, you were in your ratty old college t-shirt sitting on a toilet applying sticky foam to fight his acne. What was romantic about this?

“Just love you.” He said simply, leaning forward to peck your lips again and giggling when some of the foam from his nose smeared onto your skin. 

You told Jungkook you couldn’t make it until just about when the cars would be leaving to take the boys and their group to the event.

He greets you with a kiss at the door when you rush in, dressed and ready to the hotel room everyone gathers in. You eagerly greet and catch up with the others. Jungkook knowingly raises his eyebrow at you.

He doesn’t deserve this and you’re not proud of it but you aren’t ready to talk about it. Everything was left in the air last you saw each other and there’s a lot to discuss. You managed to get away from work for just 1 night, so, you plan on avoiding it until your next visit, maybe another 2 weeks.

That would give you enough time to think about it, about what you would say. It might give you time to come up with a good reason why he’s completely wrong about this.

So, you settle for getting ready for a formal event in the airport bathroom. That’s how badly you don’t want to talk about it.

A voice announces that the cars are here and people fuss at themselves in the full length mirror before corralling out the door. Soon, it’s just you left, touching up your red lipstick. You almost never wear it but hope It hides your total cowardice.

Jungkook approaches you from behind in the mirror.

Can we talk about it?”, he asks your reflection.

“I’m not sure now is a good time”, you say as casually as possible.

“Well, will there be a good time before you leave tomorrow morning? We never finished talking...”

“We weren’t talking, we were arguing.”, you interrupt and pull his arms around you from behind, hands laced at your waist. “Look, we have one night. And I have to leave for the airport by 7:30 tomorrow.”

He pauses before he speaks. “No you don’t.”, he says plainly. Silence hangs heavy in the air.

You take a breath. “But I will.” You shrug and sigh, still in his arms.

“So, the answer to my question is ‘no’, you plan on avoiding the topic until….”

“...until I come back.”, you finish, trying to sound optimistic.

He pulls his hands from around you and steps away from you.. “In 2 weeks.”, he scoffs. “So, what, you’re here to get fucked and leave?”

You turn to face him and tell the truth. “I miss you, baby.” You plant a soft, closed kiss on his lips. “I'm here to see you.”, you inspect his mouth for any trace of lipstick. “Besides….would it be the worst thing if I came for one night just to get fucked?”, you tease, turning to the mirror again.

He snickers, “...no”. He kisses your neck and shifts his crotch against your ass. “I just worry you think this problem won’t be here when you get back.”

“Please, Jungkook, I just want to be with you, I don’t want to fight. There’s no chance we could solve this in a night anyway.”

Jimin renters the room to gather you. “We need to go_”, he stops when he sees Jungkook’s worried reflection. “Everything ok?”

Jungkook abruptly drops his arms from you. “We’re having an argument,'' he announces. “but we’re not talking about it.” He moves to hold the door open and gestures for you and Jimin to exit before him.

Ugh. Brat.

The back of the private car is your proverbial doghouse as you both sip your cocktails in silence, Jungkook obviously agitated. You sit next to each other, such a big space for just 2 people. A small gap between you feels wider than ever.

“I’m sorry. I’m just not ready”, you finally say, lamely.

“It’s fine,'' he replies quickly. “You don’t want to talk, we won’t.” He finishes one drink and pours another.

You stay quiet, still without the right words. He looks at you and thinks for a long time. You almost ask if he’s ok when he finally speaks.

“You look really good.”, he abruptly spits out and laughs as if he’s missed something that had been in front of him the whole time. “I’m sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I wanted to tell you in the mirror.“

You’re relieved with his light-heartedness and grateful for the effects of alcohol as you close the gap between you, placing your hand on his closest thigh.

The cabin is dimly lit with a bluish light. Jungkook brings his face so close to yours, tingles go down your spine. He smells like a mixture of cologne and liquor.

“I like your pretty red lips.”, he hums, voice deep and low. His eyes, dark in the dim light. “And if you’re not going to use them to talk...”, tracing his thumb over your bottom lip and leaning in to whisper, “...I want them wrapped around my cock.” He moves his hand back and tugs at your hair.

You waste no time. The area of the car is spacious enough that you can get to your knees below him. You work together to pull his trousers down far enough to expose his pretty leaking cock.

You start a long lick with a flat tongue at the base of his shaft and up to the tip. You hollow your cheeks and fully engulf him on the way back down, knowing it’s just a matter of time before you arrive.

He guides your head as you diligently slide up and down, slurping and occasionally stopping to hold the tip at the back of your throat. Soon, his hips lift on every trip down, squirming and unable to hold back the prettiest whines.

“Look at me”, Jungkook urges. You turn your head to the side to look up and run your tongue up a vein on the side of his shaft.

“So good, noona.”, he says with his eyes rolling backward with a smirk. He pushes your head down harder, driving you to increase the pace.

He fills your mouth with a groan. You swallow, eager to take whatever he gives you.

The car comes to a stop and you pull yourself together enough to get to the bathroom inside to check your lipstick.

***

Wherever you are, it’s huge. A massive hall with doors that seemed to go on forever. The party and guests, relegated to one (very big) room.

As the guests and your group get toasted and social, it becomes easier to step away from your unresolved issues than you thought. Jungkook and the boys are laughing and enjoying themselves. Everyone’s guard is down, including you.

That’s why you love these types of events. The ones with no cameras or staff, where boys can bring dates or just be themselves. There’s so many of these things you CAN'T go to; another point of contention between you and Jungkook.

Here, when everyone can just be together without a camera, it seems easy. The last moments of your previous visit begin to replay in your mind, as you watch Jungkook charm the room.

“What are you so afraid of?”, his voice echoes in your mind. Suddenly, the mellow tone of the room fades and it feels stifling and small, heat flooding to your chest.

You make your way to the entry doors. Maybe to get some air, or make an escape, you’re not sure. You calmly peek outside the big room to the empty big hall with endless doors. Before the door can close behind you, Jungkook peeks out, whispering and smiling. “Where are you going?”, worries obviously set aside. His face is comforting and makes it feel like you can breathe again.

“Exploring.”, you whisper back with a wink and extend your hand. He offers a cheeky smile and accepts.

You tipsily giggle down the hall into an empty room. It’s identical to the room the party is in, only this one is empty and one wall is made of full mirrors, like some kind of performance and rehearsal room.

You kiss and stumble into a corner. He takes both of your drink glasses and places them on the floor. He grabs your body so you face away and you’re looking at your reflections again.

“We were like this.” his lips are on your neck again and a hand sneaks up the slit in your dress and inside your thigh. “...when I saw how you looked in the mirror at the hotel.” He lets out a gratified sigh and slips his fingers effortlessly into you.

“Jungkook!”, you scold, doing your best not to sink into his sensation but it’s too late now. Your body is a step ahead of your mind and you’re moving your hips in time with his fingers. You place both hands on the mirror in front of you to brace yourself.

“What?”, he says innocently, still speaking to the mirror. You came here to get fucked and leave right? ”, pushing fingers in and out of your entrance. “Anyway”, he continues, “You know better. You should’ve showed up earlier so I could fuck you before we had to leave. You knew we’d end up like this.”

His skilled fingers stir inside you so delightfully that you close your eyes. He puts a squeezing hand on your shoulder to alert you.

“Keep your eyes on the mirror, baby. I want you to see what I see.” You make an effort to keep your eyes on the mirror but shriek when he lays a hard spank on you, cold rings intensifying the sting. He quickly removes his fingers to unbutton himself, lowering his pants again.

“Jungkook...”, you start, fussing to pull your dress down and yammering in panic about how you ‘can’t do this here’ and ‘what happens if we get caught?’.

He grins arrogantly and uses a hand to cover your mouth and pushes at the small of your back with the other so you're bent in front of him again, your hands propped against the glass. Your heart races when he lines his tip to your core.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He thrusts himself into without warning. You let out a shocked moan. “Maybe we can talk about it when you come back in 2 weeks”, he taunts as he sets his rhythm.

Petty brat.

All thoughts wash away as you watch him take you in the mirror with punishing thrusts, so heavy, your eyes are closing again as you feel the brunt. He digs his nails into your shoulder.

“Eyes Open.”, he reminds, never breaking stride. Your bodies echo lewdly in the empty room. “You flew a long way for this, I want you to see everything.” His hand is pressed tight to your mouth and using his free hand on your shoulder to steady you, exhibiting you in the mirror.

Your eyes are open but they’re watching Jungkook. Sweat runs down his neck. You’re terrified to be caught but relish watching him take your body for himself, happy to shut up and watch.

“I could fuck you like this everyday if you wanted, noona.”, he menaces. You whimper behind his gripped hand. “Wouldn’t you like it if I could spoil this pussy everyday?”.

You can only nod in the mirror.

“I wish I could do it every day, baby.” Hand tight on your mouth, he pulls back on your body so his teeth can reach your neck. Arms off the mirror, Jungkook marks you.

When he releases your neck, he directs: “Touch yourself, baby. I want you to watch yourself come with my hand wrapped around your pretty mouth.”

You collect the abundant slick from around Jungkook’s cock at your opening to run your fingers to your clit. The other hand props yourself up against the mirror, back arched. You fight to stay focused on the mirror, the sensation on your clit making your legs buckle. Your whimpers are stifled behind his palm.

“That’s it, baby, that’s so good. His eyes are glued at your moving fingers, eyes egging you on. The warmth building at your center takes over you when he whispers.

“I'm gonna make you walk back into that room with my cum still dripping out of you.”

You gasp when he releases his grip on your face to replace your hand and continues to circle fingers around your clit while he thrusts deeper into you, and both of your moans resounding off the walls.

He grunts, slows, and lets himself fall out of you . Cum, already dripping down your thighs.

“I’ll see you in there.” He quickly buttons himself and leaves, his footsteps echoing through the empty room until the door closes.

His intentional coldness hurts but you can’t help

but feel that you deserve it. You clean up as best you can before rejoining the group.

***

You casually approach the group in the full room hoping you appear somewhat put together.

They stand in a circle and Hoseok looks at you from across. One arm around his date, he dabs a finger from the other hand underneath his bottom lip. “You’ve got a little…”

“...lipstick.”,Jimin pipes in from beside you and uses his own thumb to wipe the smeared lipstick.

“And a little…” Yoongi starts and dabs a finger in the same motion as Hoseok, only on the side of his neck.

Jimin pulls long strands of hair over your shoulder to cover the fresh bruise Jungkook marked into your neck.

Taehyung turns to Jungkook who has a shit-eating grin on his face. A few in the crew exchange glances and soon a knowing giggle ripples through the group. Blood hits your cheeks.

“What did I miss?” Seokjin says, looking at Jimin.

“They were fighting but now they’ve made up. Now You’re all caught up.”, Jimin chides.

“We didn’t make up.”, Jungkook corrects, his cheery disposition quickly fading. “She said she’s here for a night to get laid. I’m just making sure she gets what she came for.”

He walks away and leaves you to deal with the silence.

Namjoon expertly changes the attention and subject by asking about your job. He must know it’s your preferred way to avoid any real conversation.

The party winds down, the room slowly empties and guests make their way back to their cars.

The car ride home is silent, buzzes fading and exhaustion setting in. You make it back to his room when Jungkook finally speaks.

“You don’t get to be mad at me, you know.”

“Yes, I do.”, you snap back. “I just know I deserve it.”

“No, you don’t.”, he says, a flash of guilt passing over his face. “I just want you to talk to me. And we don't even need to solve any_.”

You’re relieved when he abruptly stops himself and raises 2 surrendering hands in the air. He mimics zipping his lips and winks.

No talking.

He shoves you so you fall back on the bed and pulls up a nearby chair to the edge, looking more determined than ever. He crawls above you and pushes your long dress up over your hips and opts to keep himself quiet instead of you. Diving in right away, he uses 2 fingers to spread your lips apart to give a straight licks before attaching to your exposed clit. He moans while he sucks, sending little vibrations through your center. He laps at you like he can’t get enough.

You start to squirm so he hooks an arm around one of your thighs in the air and the other hand to pin your 2nd thigh flat to the bed.

Hunched over, he continues work on you. You cover your own mouth with your hands while he flicks and sucks furiously on your clit, refusing to let up until your legs shake and he fights your thighs, eager to clamp shut around him.

Your hands drop from your face and shamelessly scream when you come, hands gripping the sheets.

He crawls up to kiss you, tasting him and yourself. He lays his head on your chest and squeezes your body tight. You stroke his head until he falls asleep. You close your eyes too, and when you open them again, the sun shines through the window and it’s time to leave.

You fuss in the bathroom mirror. Sleepy face Jungkook slides behind you and groans, voice still rough with sleep. He buries his face in your neck then lifts to look at your reflections. You both smile at the familiar position. He takes steps to turn on the shower and finds his way to you again.

He begins: “I know we’re not talking about it now….”, you flinch from his touch at the mention. He gets closer to you anyway, happy to press up against your thorny exterior. He continues, “but in 2 weeks, I’m going to ask you again. He presses his forehead against your temple and you listen, watching the mirror.

“Quit your stupid job. Please. Stay with me. And you don’t need to have an answer. But we have to talk about it.”

You nearly made it through this unscathed but two strokes to midnight, you finally snap.

“And talk about what, Jungkook? How you’ll be gone months at a time?, eyes on your own terrored expression in the mirror. “How I should uproot my life so I can live in random hotels basically alo_”. He turns you to face him and places his index finger over your running lips before you can finish.

“It’s 7:30. You need to leave if you’re going to catch your flight.” He moves his finger to kiss your lips.

He enters the shower without a word, confident you’ll be gone when he gets out.

Jungkook is a star.

He’s won eight games — five against wild beasts and three against other gladiators where he killed two and maimed the other. The entire Colosseum always cheers when he enters. He knows he’s become a favourite, that there are those who bet their life savings on him, and most importantly, he always wins.

The fact that he’s alive is enough proof.

But in spite of the horrors he’s had to face, of the lives he’s had to take, Jungkook still likes it. They give him a place to sleep, three delicious meals a day, and baths and massages whenever he wants. Jungkook is good at what he does too. He isn’t like those elite men from the senate who rigged the fights in their favour and perform simply for their own amusement. The scars on his body are the evidence of his strength and true victories. Jungkook is talented. He was one of the best during training, heard endless praise and even now the roars of the people make him feel alive. Even when asked if he wanted to be free, he refused. Jungkook bleeds competitiveness and the games have become his reason to live.

Today, the crowd is cheering again. But it’s not for him.

“Who’s up there?” he asks a fellow fighter, Darius.

“The new one. You haven’t heard of him?”

The two of them climb the steps, candle fire illuminating their figures and casting their shadows against the underground stone walls. 

“They call him the Mouse Dragon.”

Jungkook frowns. “Why?”

“Because he’s as tiny as a mouse, but as fierce and swift as a dragon.” The clamour of the crowds become louder the closer they get to the center. There’s light from the end of the tunnel closest to Jungkook and curiosity makes him go closer. “He’s already won five games, Jeon. He might take your place soon.”

Darius nudges him with a small grin. But Jungkook doesn’t take it lightly.

He follows the light and peeks out of the barred tunnel to see you. 

You’re in amber armour, silver dagger in hand as you encircle a wounded bear. It growls, leaps forward at the speed of light, but you don’t evade. You lurch forward and before the animal’s sharp teeth can rip into your skin, the dagger pierces into the side of its throat.

The bear roars in pain and you dig the blade into it before pulling out to pierce it again.

Finally, the large creature drops dead at your feet. The crowd bursts into wild howls and screams. It’s deafening. 

Jungkook slinks back into the shadows.

He doesn’t know how he remained so ignorant as to not know you, to not know a fellow gladiator who won so many games. Granted, your number of victories is far from his, but it’s still notable especially when most gladiators died in their first games and few made it past ten. Jungkook plans on making it there. But at this rate, you might as well. And there was no room for two stars. Not when fame was fickle and he planned to become the most famous.

He allowed his arrogance to blind him for long enough. It’s time to make himself known to you, to show you what a real gladiator is and let you know your place.

Jungkook returns underground, darting past the many fighters preparing for their own matches. He brushes past the guards and trainers, ignoring the cry of the animals kept in their cages. 

Down here, there was its own chaos. Chaos that is kept from the eyes of the public. 

But when he gets to the place where survivors usually recover and collect themselves, the hall is empty and much quieter. The noise of the Colosseum is merely muffled faintly above him.

Jungkook whips back the curtain of the first room, but it’s empty. He turns on his heel, calms down his temper and glances through the gaps of the curtains, searching for you. He sees no one in the second room and no one in the third.

He’s about to relent and look for you on the training grounds later on. But at the fourth room, Jungkook’s vision unintentionally trails through the small space between the curtain and the wall.

His eyes grow wide as it lands on you. Unraveling your chest bindings.

You look up on instinct. Your pupils connect with his doe, brown eyes. A gasp rips from your throat.

But by then, he’s gone. Like a ghost or the smoke of a flame.

Jungkook strides back from where he came from, feet moving quickly. He’s in disbelief, utter confusion—

And a hand wraps around his wrist. In an instant, Jungkook’s yanked into one of the rooms.

You’re panting, chest rising and falling as you hold your bindings to your breasts.

His eyes weren’t wrong. “You’re a woman.”

“And you’re Jungkook.”

He blinks. “You know me?”

“Who doesn’t?” You slip the worn tunic on, and Jungkook realizes how small you really are. Up close, your neck is slim and your wrists small. But unlike the others, he knows it’s not because you’re a tiny, frail man. You’re a woman. “I’ve watched your games before.”

“Why are you here?”

“Why are any of us here?” You face him, gaze intense and fierce without once wavering. He can’t be threatened. Not when he’s Jungkook, someone who’s quickly becoming one of the strongest gladiators of Rome. Yet for some reason, he’s held in his spot because of you. “I was a slave and was going to be sold as a prostitute.”

“So you pretended to be a man and train as a gladiator.”

“At least I can win enough prize earnings to pay for my freedom. Or I can die. Either way, it’s better than what was in store for me.”

Jungkook’s taken aback by the determination ablaze in your eyes, by the strength and conviction in your voice. “There are female gladiators, you don’t need to hide yourself.”

“If they knew I was a woman, they’d want me to expose my breasts and fight and no one would take me seriously.” You hiss at him like he knows nothing, “What kind of prize earnings would I get then if they’re pitting me against dwarves for their own amusement.”

Jungkook looks at you — he really looks at you. Beyond a fighter in the Colosseum, beyond a fellow competitor, beyond a heroic gladiator who garners cheers.

He feels foolish.

Small-minded. Short-sighted.

His intentions of intimidation and putting you in your place has long vanished. You and him are so different. He can’t compare to you.

You don’t fight for sport. You fight to escape.

“Don’t tell anyone.” You soften. “I hate owing others, but please. I beg of you. Let me be.”

“I was a slave too.” In the farthest confines of his mind, Jungkook still hears the screaming, the burning city, Romans taking him in the midst of their conquests. And the others. The difference between him and them was that he was stronger. He survived. But he almost let himself forget. “If you made it this far, it means you’re strong as well. I have no business in revealing your secret.”

Jungkook had almost forgotten what life outside the Colosseum meant. He almost forgot the thirst to survive. To live on without needing to fight another day.

But as he looks at you, the memories return. It makes him feel sickly. He pushes them away.

“But for a price.”

The relief on your expression washes away just as quickly as it came. “What price?”

“Tell me your name. Your real name.”

You hesitate before the secret tumbles from your lips. “It’s Y/N.”

...

Jungkook sees you again in the training barracks. Now that your face isn’t simply one amongst the crowd, blurring together with the men, now that he can pick you out by just the back of your head, he often joins you. Whether it be pity or curiosity, he isn’t quite sure yet. But he speaks to you when he has the chance, invites you to sit and eat at the table with him much to the confusion of fellow gladiators, and he trains with you during the day.

He can tell you’re not fond of his attention as it garners the attention of the other men. After all, Jungkook doesn’t often associate himself with fellow fighters and certainly not those that are supposedly lower than he is. But he can also tell that you like his training help. 

“Stab, don’t slash.”

“I know that.”

“But you’re still doing it.” 

“I survived this far without your help, Jungkook.”

“And you’re going to need my help if you want to keep surviving and earn your way to freedom.”

The corner of his mouth tugs when you’re rendered to silence. 

But you’re not the only one to gain from the relationship. Jungkook enjoys sparring with you. He likes it when your sword clashes against his, when your shields are struck. You’re a formidable competitor. While he is sturdy, swift and strong, you are agile and dexterous. He is especially impressed when you tumble away from him like your bones have turned to air.

Jungkook has always liked his women elegant with intelligent eyes, dressed in beautiful clothes that drift through the breeze. You, on the other hand, are rough when you wield weapons. Your words can be crude and he’s never once seen you in finery. Yet, he is absolutely stricken with you.

And maybe that’s why he feels a need to protect you through the fight—

“The Mouse Dragon! The Unstoppable Beast!”

The crowd goes wild as you both enter the Colosseum together. The nicknames given to the two of you are absurd, but Jungkook still feels pride that he’s famed enough to be named.

It was posted earlier today that you’d be fighting together against an exotic animal from the west. A creature with a large trunk, two tusks and whose height towers him twice over.

Perhaps the trainers saw how close he was becoming with you. Maybe the rumours began to take that he was your mentor and you were going to become the next bold gladiator. Either way, you were put together.

Jungkook looks to you and the both of you nod, preparing your stances as the animal is released from its confines. It cries out and decides to trample towards you.

The game lasts ten minutes. It always does and it’s the longest ten minutes he knows.

Jungkook is reckless this time. More than what he is used to.

“You don’t need to protect me—” you spit at him, standing shoulder to shoulder, catching your breaths.

He knows, but he can’t help it. “Who says I am?”

Jungkook strikes when he should be holding up his shield. He surges forward before you can. And he’s clearly more worn than you are. But it’s not for the cheers, not for the crowd to chant his name, and he isn’t trying to steal the spotlight from you.

You narrow your eyes in on him. “I can handle it on my own.” 

You do. 

The creature becomes wounded from your stabs and blood splatters across your face. But in the moment of the animal’s death, it wails out and leans on its hind legs with its last effort. From the force, you’re thrown to the ground. About to be trampled. About to be crushed.

Yet before it can come down, before you can brace yourself — Jungkook digs his entire sword through its side.

The animal falls over. The dust is awakened into a cloud.

The crowd screams all around you and your gaze meets Jungkook’s, knowing he saved your life.

The game is something to remember. So much so that a close trainer, Marcus Namjoon, whispers that the next time the two of you will have to fight a more ferocious beast. The lion.

“How will you manage?” he asks you that same night as you’re seated on the wooden steps.

“I’ll just have to or I’ll die.” The corner of your mouth curls as the light of the stars glow against your face and makes you look like a goddess. Jungkook is sure you must be the child of Ares and Aphrodite. “May the best warrior survive.”

His hand crumples into a fist. He tears his eyes away from your magnificence.

Sooner or later, you will win your freedom or sooner or later, you will die. Or worse. Jungkook knows how the games go. He’s been here for years and he knows why these matches exist. It’s all to distract the public of more important matters and if something happens, if a big enough distraction is needed, sooner or later, Jungkook will be pitted against you.

Then, he will have to kill you or at least maim you. Or he will have to be your sacrifice.

“Take this.”

He drops a leather pouch into your lap and looks away.

It’s heavy and you tug the strings. A gasp pulls on your lips. Gold and silver gleams back at you.

“Jungkook…”

“It’s all of my earnings I’ve saved so far. With what you have, together it should be enough to buy your freedom.” It becomes silent and he lets the peace of the night settle into him.

“Why?”

“Because you desire freedom more than I have ever desired anything.” That might be a lie. There is one thing Jungkook desires most that could possibly contend — and he’s looking at it. Looking at you. “If there’s anyone who deserves this, it’s you. I would not regret it if this is where my earnings went.”

“W-What about the fight?”

“I’ll have a better chance than you do.”

“Jungkook.”

You take his face within your hands to kiss him. He feels your soft lips and in spite of being a warrior, your body is even softer. You feel feminine under his touch and as he years for more, he grabs a hold of your waist and pulls you flush against him. Jungkook inhales your yelp, your tongues sloppy against one another.

A hunger from inside him awakens. Jungkook wants to have you right here, right now. But you part from him, catching your breath.

Under the stars, Jungkook has become entirely enraptured by you.

“I’ll work.” You make an oath to him. “I’ll save enough to free you.”

Jungkook’s never thought of leaving before. Even as a distinguished warrior, when he had been asked if he wanted to be granted freedom, he refused. He likes it here. There’s a roof over his head, he gets three meals and gains attention and fame that he could never get on his own.

Yet, you are a bigger reason than all other reasons.

He has never desired anything more than being with you.