I do not understand how there will be those times where in i try to chose my battles, yet the endpoint, I seem to look like a failure.

 I do not understand how my anger seems to show all the insecurities I have behind of me, I chose not to tell myself yet these thing come when sadness hits you when you didn’t even chose not to conquer sadness. 

 I do not understand how things can go so wrong with just a small mistake, and creates that big tornado of feelings that creates that inner god in you that you need to be the head of your own. How can thing flip so hard with that little whirl you created.

 It’s a shame that until now, I can’t decide for myself whether to stay or not —  cause you know what, whenever I hear say “I hold on to you, and I will never leave you” that’s the little hope that makes me stay. How little faith I have for myself to stand strong and choose to fight for what I believe in, but I still end up staying — still trying to accept you even if I have know you you for the longest time than anyone has.

  Why did I choose to be in this situation where I have to choose between staying, or leaving the person who has shown me how beautiful love is after all these flaws and mishaps have been faced together?

I was intrigued a few months ago by a YouTube video from Kalina in her quest to start the Big Talk Movement. While I don’t necessarily have a desire to speak with strangers in my day-to-day life, I’d love to have a dialog with myself, and maybe some friends and family online.

So today for my first post, I’m grabbing a card and getting this ball rolling: “What is your next great adventure?”

This year I’ve given myself the task of 4 things: Get my motorcycle certification, learn the art of burlesque, start blogging and vlogging regularly, and take more photos!

I’ve made my start of taking slightly more photos while out and about, but the lack of use of my new DSLR is really making my heart sad. So, it’s time to bust it out more whether to take more still images, or videos for YouTube. I feel it will help keep me honest in my other ventures for this year that I’ve had in mind. I’d like to create an online trail of my adventures in getting to know myself in a way I’ve never experienced, all while becoming more confident. As for the other goals, they easily go hand-in-hand with taking more pictures and videos of my world. I’ll get to track my progress, and have fun while doing it.

So, here we are. I’m putting myself out in the world this year in a new way. The adventure... will I stick to my goals? Will I let fear control my decisions? How will I handle any road blocks? The plan is to have all of that documented here to hold me accountable. I have no more excuses. Let’s do this. 

What is your next great adventure? How are you staying motivated with your goals? And are you allowing fear to keep you from living the life you want to live?

Check out www.makebigtalk.com