#johnny steps

Kuriboh is used by Yugi Mutou/Yami Yugi. Its stats are the following:

Attribute: DARK

Level: 1

Type: FIEND / EFFECT

Effect Type: QUICK

Effect (according to the anime): "During your opponent's turn, at damage calculation: You can discard this card; you take no battle damage from that battle (this is a Quick Effect)."

ATK / DEF: 300 / 200

Propaganda:

Turn 18 of the duel between Kaiba and Yugi in the Duelist Kingdom arc - INFINITE KURIBOH WALL.

There's one part in Duelist Kingdom (when the rules didn't matter) where the Kuribohs multiply and there's an endless amount of them.

He's cute.

Have you seen this adorable fluff ball?! He's adorable and will take a hit for you because he loves you.

It's just a small, fluffy guy. One that Yugi and Atem used destroy many an opponent, an example of how even a monster that seems useless can be used to topple an opponent. But mostly I'm submitting him because he's a small, fluffy guy. Very iconic, even if it's not the strongest monster.

In my opinion, he's the mascot of DM. Of the whole series, really. That's why there's on in each series. But you cannot go wrong with the OG!!

Witch of the Black Forest is used by Rebecca Hopkins ("Rebecca Hawkins" in the dub), Step Johnny ("Johnny Steps" in the dub), and Yugi Mutou. Its stats are the following:

Attribute: DARK

Level: 4

Type: SPELLCASTER / EFFECT

Effect Type: TRIGGER

Effect (according to the anime): "When this card is sent from the field to the Graveyard: Add 1 monster with 1500 or less DEF from your Deck to your hand."

ATK: / DEF: 1100 / 1200

Propaganda:

So here and now, suddenly inspired by the very romantic tableau of threatening rain and thunder, Yugi sees an opportunity to fill out that bucket list, as it is the end of the world and all. So, he cracks his knuckles, remembers the advice from his Grandfather, wisely decides to forget that advice, and stumbles through the absolute weirdest way to officially ask out the girl you’ve been unofficially dating since you were like 10:

...

Start over.

So...he goes up to Tea...starts asking her out--but then makes it into a blind date with the ghost in his body? Because he’s...concerned about Pharaoh?

OK kid.

It’s just very Muto in that not only does he ask this girl out in the pouring rain, probably hoping for a lightning cue that thankfully never came, but this date can only be done through the medium of a very sad dead guy.

And even Tea wonders “I talk to Pharaoh kind of a lot, what the hell are you going on about?”

But what do you do, girl? Looks like you got stuck on a date trap with a dead dude! At least he has the better butt!

Now, you might say “Rach, he didn’t use the word “date” so this isn’t a date.” but y’all must’ve had a very different high school experience than I, because, unless forced to go to a socially obligatory dance, High Schoolers generally never say “lets go on a date,” they make sneaky date traps.

This is universal, the classic “I REALLY need your help with something I can easily accomplish myself. Meet me at the mall, although we could do this probably right now at school. Don’t bring Joey.”

So, Yugi either has a lot of trust in Pharaoh, or he’s seeing this as a clever way to avoid the actual dating part of dating Tea.

Dude...he’s on to something here. This is an ascended level of friend-zoning. Here I was thinking Yugi was pretty worthless with that puzzle, and then he just BAM unlocks it’s actual, true potential with the ultimate dating dodge. Like, Tea can’t even be mad. He’s on the date even. But also--*not on the date*--gets to enjoy the fun stupid stuff-- *doesn’t have to do any boring stuff*--Goes on a date--*but can’t call it a relationship if it wasn’t hypothetically with yourself* like this actually a pretty great set up and at first I was like wow, what an idiot, and now I’m like 5 paragraphs later and low key jealous I can’t do this Schrödinger's Date nonsense myself.

Anyway, despite how awkward he made it, Yugi is SUPER excited about this date. It’s ALMOST as if he’s going on it himself--which again, he is not. He’s just fretting in a mirror going all “Pharaoh’s gonna freakin love this. I love setting up my friends! Especially when they share the same body as me! Hahaha don’t think about it!”

But apparently Pharaoh was totally sleeping when Yugi was talking to Tea (and probably is whenever Tea shows up, lets be real) because he has no idea that Yugi has done this.

First off--Yugi’s art on the wall.

Ok, glad we all saw it together.

Second off, I love the motif of “kid is going on a date, so he throws everything he owns onto his bed and throws on the other half his closet to make the most ridiculous joke combo” because here it means Pharaoh has to wear the same weird ass outfit.

Y’all I cannot believe this anime is doing this three-way I just cannot. It’s been like a full season building up to it but it still feels VERY sudden.

And, as you know, I have a superpower that makes me immune to shipping, I dunno...maybe it’s because I grew up with the nuts Harry Potter era of ships (freakin Snape/Lily)? Or maybe that I come from the era of Kingdom Hearts-style romance twists (whooo will he eat ice cream with)? I feel like I can’t throw too many rocks at this ship because I know when my house is glass. Especially since I enjoy shows that are bonkers, I’ve seen some weird ass dating stuff that didn’t make me bat an eyelash. I watched Season 2 of Seaquest where at least 2 people accidentally ask out their own Mother. I would double check, but it was so awful Netflix pulled it (or trust me I’d be recapping that show, too)

Personally, I have never wanted to date a ghost but I guarantee other people have thought about it. And, youknow, if it’ll make the 2002-era tweens that were super excited about this ship happy, lets get these kids on a date and get this over with. With the Pharaoh that died at hell knows what age, was reborn so hypothetically you could also argue he’s only like a couple years old, and was mind wiping up until basically a couple weeks ago. Whatever, it’s a new season, he’s a new boy, just, don’t think about it, sit back and enjoy it for what it -- HOLY CRAP

What fake-goth funeral date are you going to here!? Wow. This is...This is a bad choice of clothes! It’s the middle of the day! Other people are in shorts. He is wearing so many chains from his neck, to his bracelets...also he still has that massive bike lock chain on - the one that went through a FIRE.

And does his shoes have freakin studs?

At least neck belt is still here.

I’d say he doubles as a stage tech but with those 7 bangles he’s got on, he would make too much noise. He’d sound like a freakin wind chime.

Anyways, Yugi switches places and Pharaoh freaks the Hell out like he’s been pranked. I wish it were a prank, y’all, I wish it were. But this is actually happening on this television show where the only other legit romance we saw was Pegasus macking a ghost.

MAN ghosts gets a lot of action in this show.

Now, this anime gets a lot of flack, but it does do one thing, and that’s make me appreciate something I forget a lot of the time when I see character designs in pictures rather than in motion. And it’s that that character design’s aesthetic includes physics. Sometimes--like very often in Yugioh--the aesthetic is mostly about those physics and what all these separate pieces do when they move.

In Yugioh, the designs are a hot mess. I can’t say they aren’t. But, there is a reason why he has all those moving bangles--it’s because he holds cards a lot and that’s where is camera is. I guarantee, when jacket comes back it’ll be flowing in the wind 100% of the time. Every single one of Yugi’s weird bangs can sway around like a weather vane.

So, while this looks not great from the get go, by the time you’ve watched Yugioh for a while, it all comes back together somehow. That’s the thing--that’s what Yugioh proves, it’s that no matter how freakin weird and abstract your design is, if it has the right physics, you’ll have a good time, and that’s an aesthetic all in itself that can’t be described in photo caps.

BUT

but

but, it’s still hella fun to roast Yugi for it because like--look what he’s wearing.

First stop on their date: a diner of lies that gave us no anime food. Just some nondescript milkshake. Every time we see a diner and I don’t get to see anime food my heart shrivels a little smaller like the Grinch.

Yo I assumed the neck belt was attached to the belt-shirt before--but I guess not. Oh man was belt shirt a turtleneck the whole time??? A belt TURTLENECK?

Tea decides to pull out her idea. The idea that Yugi asked her to give Pharaoh--that she could have just...given...straight to Yugi...but here it is. Here’s the big Tea idea.

Tea suggests “Listen, you don’t know who you’re going to be, but that’s true of everyone” which kind of ignores destiny and prophecies and the end of the world, but she’s gonna be a dancer, OK? And because Pharaoh hasn’t seen very much of the world, and is as impressionable as a newborn lamb, he just soaks it right up.

And so they decide not to go to the Museum because Pharaoh’s not feeling it. Probably also has a sixth sense that the museum is currently staffed by the most boring Millennium Item.

FYI this is exactly what my local Dave & Busters looks like floor to ceiling. It’s a real disappointment. It has only 1 DDR machine and one off brand DDR machine, unlike this place.

Yugioh has more diversity than most Anime I’ve seen, but it’s still a work in progress. Also, it’s hard to spot but keep an eye out for this guy’s fringe moccasins.

...Someone brought their briefcase to the arcade? Wh...why?

This whole episode is a whole lot of why.

WHAT?

Everyone just kinda watched this go down?

Again, I’ve never actually played DDR at an arcade because it’s always taken by two sweaty high schoolers who are sweating like ALL OVER the handlebars, and I’m just like...I could ask them to move or...I could not touch their sweat? So, long story short, if DDR involves elbowing each other in the face, this is news to me, and I have been missing out.

Long story short, she wins. We actually get to see Tea use her one and only useful skill--dance fighting. We’ll probably never see it again. Glad they gave us a very long narcissistic Tea dancing montage while they were there. Wish it was done to ska, but you can’t have everything.

And right when this settles into a romantic sunset I start to worry because we’re getting VERY close to a non-vague situation. The show senses this too and just, out of no where, pulls any distraction to get them away from said sunset.

Y’all how do you even manage to draw a spike mullet with dreads?

And here we all thought we’d get through this episode without cards!

JK, you were absolutely right for thinking that.

In her defense, he did try to elbow jab her in the head.

Anyways, after seeing Tea tear through Johnny Steps, Pharaoh feels like maybe he can handle whatever crazy thing happened to him 5000 years ago. He decides “Lets go recklessly open that Pandora’s box!”

I just noticed his second belt has a fanny pack on the butt for his cards.

Well, that was...still vague somehow. Good. Got me worried there for a second.

Next week, on Yugioh: