Special Edition Drama (Volume 2 of the Reload Blast Anime BR/DVD) ā Playing House
https://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm33661338
Summary: Ā Tenpou teaches the other three how to play house. Tenpouās āperformanceā during the last 3 minutes is pure gem. I couldnāt stop chuckling even as I translated his lines. Special appearance by Kanzeon Bosatsu and Jiroushin.
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Tenpou: Hmm, which one should I try today? (flips through the pages) Mix yogurt with fermented squid paste to produce the taste of caviar ā ah, letās go with this one.
Kenren: Coming up with a weird combination of foodstuffs again.... Didnāt you attempt to produce the taste of sausage by pouring soy sauce on pudding the other day?
Tenpou: That was difficult, wasnāt it? No matter how many time I adjusted the proportions of the soy sauce and the pudding, I was not able to distill the soy sauce Iād poured onto the pudding.
Kenren: Make what you like, as long as you donāt upset your stomach. How slovenly it would seem for a Field Marshal to be locked up all day long in the toilet!
Tenpou: No worries! Iāve prepared some stomach medicine.
Kenren: Youād go that far for your cooking experiments? Why not just buy some caviar like normal people? Youāre a Field Marshal after all. Your salary should be quite all right, shouldnāt it?
Tenpou: Unfortunately, Iām flat broke because I spend my salary on books. Besides, since I went to great pains to procure this peculiar collection of recipes titled āThe Next Adventurer Is Youā, thereās a variety of food combinations Iād like to try.
Kenren: Hah, so thatās how it is.
Tenpou: Yes, thatās how it is. All right, here goes. Iām adding lots of fermented squid paste to the yogurt....
Kenren: Hmm, it does not look very appetizing.
Tenpou: Well, you wonāt know whether itās delicious or not unless you try eating it. (eats up the unholy mix)
Kenren: How is it?
Tenpou: Itās... not great. Or rather, if I speak further, itāll come outā
Kenren: I told you so. Here, wash it down with some water.
Tenpou: Thank you. Ah, I probably used too much yogurt. Iāll try again with less yogurt.
Kenren: Are you still at it?! Quit it already. I mean, why donāt we just have some drinks as usual?
Tenpou: What are you saying? Our drinking party has already begun.
Kenren: It already has? Where are the drinking snacks?
Tenpou: This here is the snack ā the fermented squid paste.
Kenren: Thatās the paste youāve just mixed with the yogurt!
Tenpou: Donāt hold back.
Kenren: Iām not holding back!
(Someone knocks on the door.)
Tenpou: Yes?
Konzen: Itās me. Iām coming in.
Tenpou: Itās rare for you to visit at this time of the day, Konzen. Whatās the matter?
Konzen: Iām here to return a book I borrowed. Are you two having an evening drink?
Tenpou: Yes, we are. Isnāt it obvious just by looking?
Kenren: Itās because he couldnāt tell just by looking that he had to ask.... Anyway, youāve come at the right time. Why not have a drink together once in a while, Konzen? Have a seat!
Tenpou: How about some fermented squid paste as well?
Konzen: Is this even edible?
Kenren: Give it a pass. Youāll just upset your stomach otherwise.
Konzen: I know just by looking at it. I donāt need you to tell me that. (sits down)
Tenpou (pours Konzen a drink): There you go ā a full glass to begin with.
Konzen (gulps his drink): Actually, aside from returning the book, I came here for some advice.
Kenren: About what? Thatās quite rare coming from you.
Konzen: I didnāt think youād be here too.
Kenren: Two heads are better than one, you know.
Konzen: Itās about Goku.
Tenpou: What about him?
Konzen: Aside from Nataku, there are no kids his age in Heaven. Thatās why heās always playing by himself ā how should I put it ā
Kenren: Ah, so Daddy is worried that Gokuās feeling lonely.
Konzen: Whoāre you calling Daddy?
Tenpou: If thatās the case, why donāt you play with him yourself, Konzen?
Konzen: I tried keeping him company once. The next day, my muscles hurt so much that I could not move.
Kenren: Ah. Well, itās certainly tough for Konzen to keep up with such an energetic, care-free companion.
Tenpou: Still, a kidās education is outside of our area of expertise. At times like this, weāll have to rely on books. Ah, it should be around hereā
Kenren: Oi, donāt pull out the books with that much force! Theyāll fall down on you again!
Tenpou: Iāll be fine. Iāll just move these out of the wayā ah!
(Sound of books falling down.)
Tenpou: Just pretend you didnāt see that.
Konzen: Is it always like that with him?
Kenren: Yeah. It got so extreme that at one point, as soon as I opened the door, books just slid out like an avalanche.
Tenpou: Let me see... Iāve got it. This is the book I was looking for.
Konzen: Hmm? āClub Memoryā?
Kenren: What sort of book is that?
Tenpou: Itās a popular magazine in the mortal realm filled with useful information about child rearing.
Kenren: Why do you have such a thing in your possession?
Tenpou: Chance favors the prepared mind. [Lit.: Those who are prepared avoid grief.] (flips through the pages and reads out the contents) Childrenās games can be categorized into two types: outdoor games and indoor ones. Goku usually prefers outside activities such as climbing trees or playing tag. So how about letting him play indoor games for a change?
Konzen: Indoor games?
Tenpou: Paper folding, catās cradle, puzzlesā ah, what about something like this? Itās called āplaying house.ā
Kenren: āPlaying houseā? Whatās that?
Tenpou: Itās a game that is good for cultivating sensibility in children. It instills vocabulary and teaches them how to use daily items.
Kenren: Eh, it sounds perfect for Goku.
Tenpou: Besides, Goku has hardly played with anyone indoors. I think he will enjoy this.
Kenren: Well, it certainly doesnāt sound like a game for which one would need to use physical strength. How about giving it a try for once?
Konzen: But I donāt know how to play this game.
Tenpou: Donāt worry about that. Since I happen to be off duty tomorrow, Iāll be there to teach you.
Kenren: I donāt have anything planned in particular tomorrow either, so Iāll come along.
Konzen: Fine with me.
Kenren: By the way, what else is in that magazine? It looks very bulky....
Tenpou: Hmm. āA Complete Walkthrough for Struggling Mothers,ā āHow to Compose a Perfect Email Response,ā āMethods for Taking Pictures that Will Net a Large Amount of Likes on Your Blog,ā āA Compilation of Games in the Parkā ā and so forth.
Konzen: Youāve lost me entirely.
Tenpou: No matter in which era, child-rearing is a tough job for mothers, isnāt it?
Kenren: From whose standpoint are you speaking?
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Goku: Hey Konzen, why canāt I go outside to play today?
Konzen: Never mind that. Just shut up and sit down.
Goku: Thatās boring! I want to play!
Konzen: Youāre noisy! I told you to be quiet and wait, didnāt I?
Goku: Eh?!
(The door opens.)
Kenren: Oh, youāre as lively as ever today. Iām coming in.
Tenpou: Pardon the intrusion.
Goku: Ken nii-chan! Ten-chan!
Konzen: You guys are late!
Kenren: Sorry. It took Tenpou a while to wake up.
Tenpou: My bad for staying up all night yesterday....
Kenren: Didnāt we end our drinking party earlier than usual last night? Ah, could it be that you stayed up reading again?
(Tenpou laughs sheepishly.)
Goku: Whatās the matter, you two?
Kenren: We just thought weād come play with you, Goku.
Goku: Really! What should we play? Baseball? Hide-and-seek?
Tenpou: Baseball and hide-and-seek are fun too, but shall we try a different game today?
Kenren: Together with Konzen too, okay?
Goku: Eh? Konzen too? Really?
Konzen: Yes.
Goku: Yay! So, what are we gonna play?
Tenpou: Letās play house.
Goku: āPlay houseā? Whatās that?
Konzen: All right! Seems like heās never played it before.
Kenren: Seems so.
Goku: Hey, whatās āplay houseā?
Tenpou: Itās a pretend play, Goku. The players take on the roles of the father, the mother or the children.
Goku: Hmm... I see.
Kenren: Oh, you already understand how itās played, Goku?
Goku: Not really, but it sounds interesting.
Kenren (chuckles): So you donāt really understand. Well, letās try it for once, shall we?
Tenpou: Indeed. First, letās decide on our roles. Itās based on my arbitrary judgment and bias, but Goku shouldā
Goku: I want to be the Meat Bun Man!
Tenpou: āplay the role of the mother.
Goku: Iām the mother?
Tenpou: As for the role of the father, Iāll let Konzen do the honors.
Konzen: Hah? Why me?
Tenpou: Donāt you want to make Goku happy?
(Konzen mumbles unintelligibly.)
Kenren: What about me?
Tenpou: Youāll play the son.
Goku: Ken nii-chan is my son? Then, that means Iām more important than him? Yay!
Kenren (in a low voice): Seriously?
Tenpou: Iāll be the narrator and monitor the progress, okay?
Kenren: Monitor the progress? Arenāt we just going to play as we like based on our assigned roles?
Tenpou: The three of you are beginners at playing house. If you play as you like, youāre unlikely to reach the proper conclusion. ** For this reason, Iāve prepared this.
Konzen: Whatās that?
Tenpou: Itās the script. It contains the character descriptions and the storyline Iāve created for todayās game.
Kenren: Thatās the reason you stayed up all night....
Tenpou: This time, letās play by following along this script!
Goku: All right!
Tenpou: Ah, as for you, you donāt have to follow along the script, Goku.
Goku: Eh? Is that okay?
Tenpou: Yes. Since the purpose of playing house is for children to learn various things via practice, please play as you like.
Goku: I donāt really get it, but okay!
Kenren: I guess itās more fun that way.
Konzen: Indeed.
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Tenpou: Once, there was a pretty ordinary family of consisting of a father, a mother and a son. The sonās name was Kenren. However, their happiness did not last long. The father and the mother got divorced. The father got the custody of Kenren. Afterward, the father remarried. The new wife was more than twenty years younger than him. Kenren and his stepmother were not related by bloodā
Kenren and Konzen: Hold on for a second!
Tenpou: Yes?
Konzen: Which part of such a scenario is conducive for cultivating sensibility?
Kenren: Doesnāt it sound like some trendy daytime soap? Wouldnāt it be better to just stick to a simpler scenario?
Tenpou: What are you two saying? The fun of playing house depends on how well-crafted the scenario is. By the way, the father works at a brokerage firm. This year is his twentieth year of continuous employment there. A straight-laced veteran.
Kenren: āStraight-lacedā does describe Konzen in real life.
Konzen: Oi!
Goku: Hey, whatās the matter? Hurry up and continue!
Tenpou: All right, all right. You two, Goku is getting bored, so Iāll carry on.
(Kenren and Konzen gasp in frustration.)
Tenpou (clears his throat): The stepmother is young but hardworking. She performs the housework all by herself. At the moment, she is doing the laundry.
Goku: Er, laundry? All I have to do is soak the clothes in water and hang them out to dry, right? Eh... there are no clothes here, so would it be fine if I soak these documents instead?
Konzen: How could that be fine, stupid monkey! (hits Goku)
Goku: That hurts! This is DVD!
Tenpou: Close, but not quite right. The correct term is DV ā domestic violence, Goku.
Kenren: Where did he pick up such a word?
Goku: Ten-chan taught me a lot of words the other day.
Konzen: You teach him nothing but nonsense.
Tenpou: Uh, according to the script, while Goku is doing the laundry, the son comes home. This is supposed to result in an uneasy tension between the son and the stepmother who are not related by blood.
Kenren: Uneasy tension? What do you intend to make us do here?
Tenpou: I want to show the typical behavior of a child in his rebellious phase. Whatever Goku says to Kenren falls on deaf ears.
Kenren: Why such an unpleasant atmosphere? Why not just have the son and the stepmother get along with each other?
Tenpou: If the stepson and the second wife were to get along, the flow of the story I came up with would end up ruined. (sighs) It canāt be helped. Well then, letās skip the afternoon scene and go straight to the basic element of playing house: the scene in which the family sit down together for dinner.
Konzen: You shouldāve done that from the start!
Tenpou: It appears to be a usual family dinner until the father, Konzen, announces his decision to quit his job.
Kenren and Konzen: Oi!
Goku: Eh? Konzen is quitting his job?
Konzen: Donāt narrate the story as if Iām actually quitting my job! Tenpou!
Tenpou: Since this is our first time playing house, I think it would be better if an incident is to occur.
Kenren: Is playing house really like this?
Goku: So, if Konzen quits, what is going to happen?
Tenpou: There, Konzen. At any rate, please continue playing. Your lines are written in the script.
Konzen: Really! (flips through the pages) āToday, I submitted my letter of resignation at my workplace.ā
Kenren: āHah?ā
Goku: Letter of resignation?
Konzen: āI have something else I wish to do. That is why I quit my job. No matter what your objection is at this point in time, my decision will remain unchanged.ā
Kenren: āWell, Iāve yet to voice out any complaint, but what is this thing that you wish to do?ā
Konzen: āRaāā
Goku: Raā?
Konzen: āRamen restaurant. Iāll open a ramen restaurant.ā
(The door opens.)
Kanzeon: Thatās the first time I hear of you wanting to open a ramen restaurant.
Konzen: Eeek!
Goku: Ah!
Tenpou: Kanzeon Bosatsu!
Kenren: Another unbelievable turn of the situation....
Kanzeon: What are you four doing gathering around here in silence?
Tenpou: Weāre playing house for the sake of cultivating Gokuās sensibility. Konzen is the father, Goku is the mother, Kenren is the son and Iām the narrator. By the way, in the scenario weāre playing, the mother and the son is not related by blood. Ā
Kenren: Weāre not making much progress, though, thanks to the script being full of absurdities.
Kanzeon: Sounds interesting. Iāll join.
Konzen: Hah? What are you saying, shitty hag?
Goku: Youāll play with us? Yay!
Kenren: But... is there any role left?
Tenpou: We could have hir play the former wife.
Kanzeon: Hmm, Konzenās ex? All right, Iāll take it.
Konzen: I have a bad feeling about this.
Tenpou: Well then, letās pick up where we left off.
Kenren (clears his throat): āWhat were you thinking, quitting your job all of a sudden?ā
Goku: If we run a ramen restaurant, I can eat as much ramen as I want! I agree with Konzenās decision!
Kenren: āI object! Weāre talking about a guy who doesnāt even cook. No way he would be able to successfully run a ramen restaurant!ā
Goku: Oh, itās true that the ramen Konzen makes is not very delicious....
Konzen: āWe can just serve cup instant ramen.ā
Goku: Aha, thatās right!
Kenren: āWhat sort of ramen restaurant would that be?ā
Kanzeon: āYou guys havenāt changed at all.ā
Kenren: āMoā mother!ā (to himself) I had a hard time with this line.... **
Konzen: āYou, how dare you show up here!ā
Goku: āWelcome!ā
Kanzeon: āOnce again, youāve picked a type that is totally different from me.ā
Konzen: āAfter all this time, what is your reason for coming here?ā
Kanzeon: āIāve come here to take Kenren with me.ā
Kenren: āHah?ā
Goku: āNever! Ken nii-chan is a precious member of this family. Donāt just take him away as you please!ā
Kanzeon: āItās better for a child to be with his biological mother. Isnāt it, Kenren?ā
Kenren: āActually, Iām fine with the way things are now.ā
Goku: āNo, no! Ken nii-chan is my child!ā
Konzen (sighs and mutters to himself): Whatās this farce?
Tenpou: āWait a minute!ā
Kenren: Hah? Tātenpou?
Kanzeon: Who the hell are you?
Tenpou: āHow heartless of you, section manager Konzen! You told me I was the only one, but youāre actually married. And not for the first time either!ā
Goku: Eh? Eh? Whatās going on here? Is Ten-chan also Konzenās wife?
Kenren: The ex-wife, the current wife and the mistress.... Youāve really come up with a hackneyed scenario straight out of a daytime soap.
Konzen: Er, Tenpou, donāt you think weāve had enoughā
Tenpou: āYou deceived me! Youāre the worst! I mean, whatās so great about this middle-aged woman here? What a bad taste she has in fashion, too!ā
(The door opens.)
Jiroushin: Pardon my intrusion. Is Kanzeon Bosatsu hereā
Kanzeon: āWhat are you going to say next? Donāt think of bragging of your conquest, husband-stealer!ā
Tenpou: āYouāre the one to talk! Donāt you feel embarrassed wearing such a revealing dress at your age?ā
Kanzeon: āHeh. Arenāt you just jealous of my figure?ā
Tenpou: āWhat did you just say? Iām not jealous! My complexion is smoother than yours!ā
Kenren: What impressive ad-libs.... (to Konzen) Hey, what are you gonna do, āhusbandā?
Konzen: Who are you calling āhusbandā? How would I know?
Jiroushin: Erā
Kanzeon: Ah, Jiroushin. Whatās the matter?
Jiroushin: What are you doing?
Kanzeon: Playing house.
Jiroushin: Playing house? What is that? Well, never mind. Kanzeon Bosatsu, you need to return to your office.
Kanzeon: Come on, why not let me stay here for just a bit moreā
Jiroushin: I canāt do that! Documents that have passed the deadlines are piling up. If you neglect them any further, weāll receive complaints from the various departmentsā
Kanzeon: Tch. It canāt be helped, then. Well, Iāve had my fun killing time, so Iāll go back now. See you guys later.
Goku: Bye-bye!
(The door creaks as Kanzeon and Jiroushin leave.)
Kenren: Uhā
(Konzen sighs.)
Tenpou: That was exciting, wasnāt it?
Kenren: Well, it was exciting indeed, but it wasnāt educational at all, was it?
Konzen: Not at all.
Kenren: Sorry that things turned out like this, Goku. Letās go play baseball outside, shall we?
Goku: I donāt really understand what has happened, but itās been a long time since I last got to play with Konzen. Also, I got to play with the two of you too, so it was a lot of fun for me!
Tenpou: Goku....
Kenren: Thatās what he said, āDaddyā.
Konzen: Tch.
Goku: Moreover, playing house was fun too.
Tenpou: Was it? Then, letās redo the scenario for next time. Ā Weāll go with āThe Field Marshall Saw It All: The Hidden Secret Behind the Generalās Grand Lifeāā
Kenren and Konzen: Forget it!
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(Round brackets): actions and sound effects. Ā [Square brackets]: translatorās notes. Double asterisks **: Stuff I am not sure with. Suggestions for improvements and corrections are more than welcome.









