#jazzmasters

It started with Herbie Nichols.

Not too long after I moved to Amsterdam in 1996, I was hanging out at my then boyfriend Jochem's place and pulled out this cheesy compilation CD carrying a name I never heard of but with a great probing face on the cover. So I put it on. Most of the music sounded other worldly harmonically even though it swung, it was way beyond my musical understanding at the time.  A composition midway through the disc called House Party Starting came on and I jumped out my seat.  Love at first hear. I listened to House Party Starting incessantly and real enough with myself to know that there was no way in hell I could sing this tune.  I mean it was hard. The composition blew my mind and I vowed to become a good enough vocalist one day to sing it.

Fast forward to four years later while I'm working out the details for my 2nd recording project, lyrics to House Party Starting came to me.  Just like that on a shiny Saturday afternoon. I had learned it by ear at this point and sought out the music, which wasn’t easy to find.  I began asking around for the music which led me to contacting Misha Mengelberg.  I was told to "just call him up, he's really OK, trust me. Especially if it’s about Nichols".  

ME call Misha Mengelberg.  Really?

I hadn't been in the Netherlands that long but one thing was clear.  Misha Mengelberg loomed large on the Dutch music scene.  Equally loved and feared it seemed so the idea of cold calling him was not appealing at all. "Just call him up…" What??

But after struggling to find the music to House Party Starting and wanting to record it now, I did just that - I called Misha at home and prepared what I would say to sound relaxed but firm just in case he was as scary as people made him out to be.   Misha picked up the phone! After my nervous introduction, I began my spiel…telling who I was and if I could be so kind to talk to him about Nichols, I want to do this tune of his....and blah, blah, BLAH...

He stopped me cold and said "Are the lyrics to House Party Starting based on the title or something else?"

"Excuse me?”,  I said.

"Well, are the lyrics based on the title or something else?" he repeated.  I paused.

"The title…and they just came to me…from the title", I finally replied. "Tell me more…" he said.  So I did.  It still is one of the most intriguing conversation I've had with anyone and he managed to shut me up and make me listen with a soft tone of voice. Our talk left me thinking for a long time.

As it turns out though, he wasn't that much help with getting the music - HA! As luck would have it the guitarist in my group knew House Party Starting inside and out - and even funnier when I got to NY to record, I found a book called Hard Bob Piano - with the full score of House Party Starting and a lead sheet to boot. Well…

I recorded House Party Starting renamed ‘Tonight’ on Darker than Blue in 2000. In that initial conversation with Misha I asked him if he'd like to hear what I did with House Party.  He said yes so I sent him a copy of the record when it was released. Following up sometime after that all he said about it was that "It reminded him of nothing".

OK.

That was perplexing yet I sensed that coming from him, it was a compliment. It meant a lot.  About a year later I ran into Misha at a Bimhuis concert of pianist Andy Milne's group.  I remember he was there with journalist Kevin Whitehead and we were all hanging out, Misha slightly curious about how I knew Andy and I too wondered how he knew Andy, Misha explaining that they played together on a little solo piano festival in Belgium and he liked what he heard. I think our friendship began that night. I knew Andy from the New York scene in the early 90′s and whenever he passed through Amsterdam in those years, I’d go out and hear him play if I was free.  I remember an intriguing Carlos Ward concert in Utrecht with Andy at the piano from those years as well.

During this time I was pretty obsessed with Thelonious Monk and beginning to get deeper into Herbie Nichols as well with a long term goal of recording a project where I'd write all the lyrics for both composers' compositions.  But WHO to play on such a project and have the shit sound loose and not derivative at the same time? I had a coffee with Kevin Whitehead in Amsterdam and spoke of my idea…he thought it was great and said "why don't you ask Misha to play on it? He'd be perfect."  I said YEAH that's true but why would he want to do that with me?

Turns out I was wrong.  A couple months before I left the Netherlands to return to New York for good,  I got in touch and he invited me to his home and I expressed what I wanted to do.  He said that of all the vocalists that have approached him to do something like this over the years, he felt confident that I could actually pull this off and told me to consider himself on board. WOW.

After that we kept in touch and I began developing repertoire and writing lyrics to tunes such as, I also learned more about Misha’s own amazing music. Outside of ICP, His trio music, his duo with Han Bennink and so much more.  I thought he was an astonishing and exciting and challenging pianist and bandleader.  I’ve never seen anyone more comfortable on stage than Misha.  Such a command of his voice yet left space for others to come at him or not. I'd call him from Brooklyn from time to time and we'd have these great conversations on history, music, silliness, lots of stories, musicians, the lyrics I was writing which he loved and whatever else came to mind. Misha was instrumental in validating my own whimsy and wacky foolishness in my music, which I've always felt should be part of the music too. We jazzers can be so damn serious! And then the greatest honor of all -  he invited me to play with ICP (the Instant Composer’s Pool), the flagship Dutch jazz group from 1967 fronted then by Misha and drummer Han Bennink.

ICP - what a band.  I discovered ICP LIVE just as I was grappling with leaving jazz standards by the wayside. I'd heard some amazing records but seeing them live was life changing.  I walked into a packed Bimhuis with Misha and Han finishing up an absurd conversation at a table in the middle of the stage while some musicians played and other looked on or shouted words and sounds. Misha and Han got up after awhile, returning to their instrument chairs, the band went into a Monk tune of which I can't recall then an improv that morphed into a Dixieland tune.  I was transfixed.  A great and raucous display of honoring nothing and everything at the same time.  The audience was going crazy…me too! This approach of melding/morphing music irregardless of genre or sub-genre of jazz eventually changed how I wanted to make music while connecting some dots I had a hard time reconciling. 

Playing with Misha was like walking a tightrope at first.  You better have your footing because there's no telling what will be there if you slip. I found this exhilarating! The possibility of falling into the abyss just right there and then you don't…always.  Not all vocalists dig this uncertainty but I relish in it. I loved the challenge and Misha liked the fact that I was a fighter.  Between 2005 and 2012, I was fortunate to play with Misha a number of times various settings  - a quartet called the FreeSong Suite and appearances with ICP - which was a dream for me.  Plus I'd go see him and his lovely wife Amy whenever I was in the Netherlands, just to hang out.  Spending time with Misha and Amy was always a deep joy that I will treasure. 

Misha in a sense has been gone for some time now.  He was diagnosed with Dementia and it's been a few years since we've been able to talk as we once did.  I saw him last year around this time when I was in Amsterdam, visiting him at the nursing home he moved to with Amy by his side.  After a while I sensed the old connection and it was beautiful. His spirit warm and happy, the energies felt. I want to thank Misha from the bottom of my heart for all the beautiful music, for being a great bandleader, teacher and visionary and for his generous support and guidance.  He gave me something very precious. I am sad...this one is VERY hard but I am incredibly grateful to have gotten to know him just a bit. He was always very kind.

The last concert we played together we did as a duo on a crazy triple bill with Roscoe Mitchell playing solo after us plus a fantastic group from Cologne.  We started the concert with the melody of Herbie Nichol's the Gig and as we left the stage I sang and Misha whistled The Gig again. Together.