#jax analysis

y'know the other trans character in this show who has an opposite arc to Jax, a trans character that was out of the closet, learnt to open up to their loved ones, accept their insecurities, is a kind supportive person to their friends and has a close wholesome relationship with another character to show what Jax could've been if she was able to overcome her own bullshit

If this show was here to push a rhetoric that "trans people are abusive assholes" Zooble literally wouldn't fucking EXIST

We literally got 2 trans characters on opposite sides of the spectrum in terms of morality and self acceptance in the same show, isn't that awesome? We don't have just one token, we have 2 trans characters who are different from each other which shows that we're all different and gives trans people in the audience more than one trans character to connect to, that's great!

I mean, just look at her body language in the last two

She looks comfortable here, and I know that if I (transmasc) was forced into a dress against my will, it would not take that small amount of time to become relaxed, even around people I know and trust

Now that might not apply to everyone, but it definitely has more transfem vibes to me

And also, if she wanted to keep up the ‘pinnacle of masculinity’ act, then surely she would have acted angry and uncomfortable the whole time

The “this is real” scene is insanely important for Jax’s arc, and here’s why.

Jax’s Dissociation from Reality

The reason Jax says “this is real” when he hears Kinger become coherent and explain the creation of Caine isn’t because he’s shocked that this isn’t a video game afterall. Jax says himself in episode 5 that he only later convinced himself all they were is cartoon characters.

The key phrase being, “I thought we were [people] at first.” He knew the circus was real when he first showed up, but as he remained trapped there and time went on, he told himself that everyone was just archetypes, including himself, that no one was real at all. He was lying to himself, but this goes a lot deeper than just denial.

Jax is dissociating, to some agree, at all times.

We can see specific moments he blocks everything out when he physically shuts down— all those scenes where his eyes get huge and he mentally clocks out.

But deeper than these spells of blocking out the world, Jax is dissociating on a much larger scale. He’s not just in denial— he’s experiencing derealization and depersonalization.

Derealization: the perception that the world is not real. Depersonalization: the perception that the self is not real.

Jax isn’t just in a state of denial; his perception of reality is warped, not because he actually thought they were in a video game the whole time, but because his surroundings were so terrible he was unable to confront reality and he retreated into the back of his mind.

This is obvious with the way Jax reacts to Kinger telling them about the lore. The moment Kinger becomes coherant, Jax is immediately distressed.

In the last episode, Abel’s adventure wasn’t real. Even if Jax himself bought it in the end, once it was over, it was fairly obvious how Caine pulled the strings. But Kinger becoming stable and spilling insane secrets was something Jax never saw coming. And most importantly, it was a huge deviation from Kinger’s archetype.

Jax can’t deny the situation anymore. This is the moment the illusion starts to break, and he is pushed from the dissociation, pushed from his safe place, all at once.

He wasn’t overreacting— he had been living in a state of foggy emptiness for years, and he was forced to face real life all at once.

And for Jax, there is nothing more terrifying than reality.

To the extent that in episode 7, he would rather continue to play pretend in the circus than go back to the real world. Because this is easier. Shutting off his attachment to everything around him is easier than seeing himself as a person. In episode 8, when reality sets in, Jax is forced to face not just his actions, not just his life, not just the circus, but he is forced to confront that *he* is real. There are only ever so many layers of masks that can keep him safely hidden inside, and now they’ve all been peeled back.

Jax has been totally emotionally and mentally gutted. He is a Jax that, for the first time, is processing the fact that he and his pain actually exist in any way that means anything.

And how is Jax supposed to face himself?

You just gave me an excuse to go on an analytical rant, including the similarities between Jax and Zooble's defense mechanisms. (I swear it's related) YIPPIE. At first, surprised. Confused. Disturbed by events they don't understand yet. Everything has been intimately off since the very beginning of the video recording, and that moment added an extra layer of wrongness. Not because of the suicidal intonations of the scene, mind you, but because of the intensity of both Jax's and Pomni's parts in the deal. The fact that it doesn't feel like a joke to either of them. If this had been any other day, any other situation, they wouldn't have cared. Or they would have, in the sense that they would have thought Jax was being a terrible, no good person that was pushing things too far, and that Pomni had gotten close and believed he might not be, only to get pied in the face by reality. Most of the crew think they understand Jax, mostly because they believe Jax's 'fun but in an asshole way' mask is real. And it is, the mask is an inherent part of Jax at this point, but the extent that Jax is willing to push things is not the same the others THINK he's willing to go. Jax has a limit, the others might not think so. But even though he's an asshole, Jax is still 'the funny guy', okay? As much of an asshole that he is, most of the shit he pulls has some...purpose. A joke, a painful but 'carefree' punchline. He's always insisting not to take thing seriously, but there's nothing 'carefree' going on here. He's pushing Pomni away, and while the crew would expect that out of him (namely Ragatha, Zooble and perhaps Gangle) because he's an asshole like that...everything else is wrong in this picture. One step away from being broken, ill-sided.

Jax is trying VERY hard to prove a point. It's so visible to them because Jax hardly tries HARD to do anything. And yet he's willing to lose the gun, lose the battle, lose the chaos and everything expected of him, to take the hit and run. Before Pomni began asking him questions, he simply told her to shoot him. There was no flare, no punchline. Just a 'go ahead'. Carefree, yes. But there was no laughing track that followed.

First, the blink-and-you-miss-it hug. Second, the spaced-out hand staring. Third, Jax giving his gun away. Fourth, the insistence. The insistence, the insistence, the insistence. The more Pomni tries to breach the distance, the more ups the stakes. To the point where he points the gun at himself. And that's the thing. If it was just about the game, he would have shot himself. But that was NEVER the point. Jax wanted POMNI to be the one to cut the chord, put the distance first.

Now, what would the crew think? Someone like Ragatha, who tries to pull people IN rather than pushing them away, is dreadfully confused. For several reasons. So are the rest. And yet, I think ZOOBLE is the one who gets some sort of realization, here. Zooble also works on Jax's 'don't care' defense mechanism persona, just not to his extent. Not as hard, but enough to be avoidant of their own insecurities with other people, to barely talk about them with Gangle, even when given the chance. Zooble never DID tell Gangle 'actually, yeah, I also struggle with shit, man. In fact, Im dead-deep into a pit of self hate, too'. when Gangle asked 'did you ever have to make that choice?' But they didn't, because Zooble ALSO keeps themselves emotionally safe by setting some distance. Distance that Jax is clearly putting in between himself and Pomni. It's enough for Zooble to understand, enough to see through what Jax is doing then and there.

she’ll just keep looking.