#jaspar request

all masterposts found here

pairing - Joe x reader [ft Caspar] word count - 1,061 warnings - none A/N -

summary - The one where Joe feels responsible and confesses

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“I can’t do this anymore, Caspar!”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m being reasonable! You’re the one who’s ridiculous.”

You had this fight a million times before, but this time it was quite clear there was no solving it. Five months with Caspar and you were already fighting more often than you weren’t. Your honeymoon stage was fun while it lasted, but then there was the partying and the forgetfulness and the boys nights and the sleeping until 1:00 and the never growing up despite the constant wake up calls that he needed to and then, the cheating. You had had it.

Both you and Caspar were quiet. You sat on the couch with your forehead in your hands and Caspar was standing behind you, his hands on the back of the couch and his head hung. “What are we doing, (Y/N)?” he said quietly.

You let out a breath through your nose, “I don’t know.”

“Is this over then?” he said.

“I don’t see how we can move past this,” you said.

“I said that I was sorry, (Y/N),” Caspar sighed. “I don’t understand why you can’t just forgive.”

“Caspar,” you huffed, burying your face deeper in your hands. “How do you not get it? Sorry does not fix this. Sorry does not change the fact that you kissed another girl and lied to me so that I had to find out through fucking We the Unicorns. Do you know how humiliating that was? To get all those tweets to that article link and to go on there and discover through a fucking social media page that my boyfriend cheated on me? I can’t believe you don’t understand how horrible this is. Sorry cannot undo what you did, the utter hurt you caused me.”

Caspar said nothing. You stood up and grabbed your phone, purse, and keys. “I’m done,” you said as you turned to walk to the door. “Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Please just, just leave me alone.” Not hearing any protests from Caspar, you walked out and closed his door behind you.

Instead of driving back to your flat, you found yourself driving the familiar trek to Joe’s flat. You and Joe grew up together. You were the same age so you were always in the same class. You were practically inseparable as kids. He was how you met Caspar in the first place. He didn’t really set you two up but he also didn’t stop you from getting together. You were curious to see how he would react to what you were about to tell him.

Joe let you into his flat almost immediately, greeting you with his usual smile. However, it quickly faded to a frown when he saw your tear stained cheeks. You hardly even noticed that you were crying on the way to his place. You didn’t know what you were feeling. Obviously you were sad that you and Caspar ended the way you had, but surely it was something you had sensed was coming for a few weeks now. Why then were you crying?

Joe brought you in and asked what was wrong. So, you told him everything. The whole time he sat beside you on the couch, rubbing your back and listening to you speak. Joe wasn’t always the best at comforting others, but he somehow always knew how to help you. “Are you okay?” he asked once the tears were completely gone and your breath was relaxed.

“I don’t know,” you said honestly. “I don’t know why I’m acting like this. We’ve been fading for a while. I think it’s just the shock, y’know?” You took a deep breath, then said, “I’m fine. Or, I will be.” Joe was quiet, still rubbing your back even though you hadn’t been crying for a few minutes now. “Joe, are you-”

“I need to tell you something,” he said, his hand leaving your back and running through his hair. “Now is probably the worst time to say it but I have to get it off my chest.”

“Are you okay?” you asked, turning to face him fully.

“Yeah, I just, I gotta say this, okay?” he said. You nodded and reached out to hold his hands in yours, giving them a reassuring squeeze. “(Y/N), I’m in love with you.” You pulled your hands back immediately. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “I know this is so bad. I don’t want things to be awkward and I don’t want you to be mad at me. I didn’t know things with Caspar were gonna be so bad in the end. I thought, well when you guys got together I thought that was it and that I needed to move on and back away so I tried to push away all my feelings but they didn’t go away. And now I feel so bad that things ended with you guys because one stupid, stupid night I was drunk and I told Caspar how I felt and he got so mad, and then he started to feel bad and I can’t help but feel like I’m the reason you broke up and if I am I’m going to hate myself forever.”

“Hey, I need you to relax, okay,” you said, grabbing his hands once again. “Just breathe.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said again, shaking his head and not bringing his eyes to meet yours. You put your hand on his cheek gently. He looked up at you.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” you asked, your voice small.

“I didn’t think you’d ever feel the same,” he said. “I mean, remember that time when I kissed you and you freaked out?”

“Joe we were 11,” you laughed. You could see his body relax slightly.

“You’re not mad?” he asked.

“I’m not mad,” you said honestly. “I’m a little confused. Pretty overwhelmed. But I’m not mad. I could never be mad at you, Joe.”

“I’m just sorry things had to go like this,” he said.