#jamiemalcolm

Hmmmmmm The Thick of It x Conclave crossover…..

In this world instead of Jamie quitting seminary school, he somehow dragged Malcolm into it. Malcolm still doesn’t believe in God (or at least not the christian one), but he ends up becoming Scotland’s only Cardinal, with Jamie by his side (because if Jamie wasn’t there he’d quit immediately, but no one needs to know that).

I may have found my roman empire, in fact

Guys. Guys. It would FUCK to see that bitch in a confessional.

I need to put him on his knees and only in an almost-gay way. This dude needs to enter a comprecation. He needs to palter about canvassing an area if he gotta talk to a priest. I WANT! TO WATCH! HIM PRAY!

Malcolm needs to be envious of God. Guys- GUYS-

He has a rosary tucked away in his bottom drawer like an object of shame. It’s dusty asf and the last time he used it was a decade ago. He uses it in his head, though, it’s a practiced movement with his fingers. Dude has never stayed still in his life- his knees jiggle when he’s sitting- his eyes flicker around the room when he enters it- his arms flap when he talks. His fingers play with an imaginary rosary. Malcolm’s caught him doing it. It makes him think about breaking them.

He stole a priests collar once when he was drunk. He meant to burn it. Malcolm burnt his childhood crucifix with him when he first left the church- as sort of a catharsis thing- and he really thought he could replicate that feeling. He wants to feel as sure as he did that day- by his side. He woke up clutching it in the morning. He could barely let it go.

God exists. Probably. Maybe. If he does, he’s not going to Heaven. He doesn’t deserve it, but. Well. He WANTS. Has always wanted.

It hardly matters now. It’s done. Finished. He doesn’t need it. He doesn’t need to be pure. Holy. Good. Salvageable. He doesn’t.

Guys. He means nothing to me guys. Guys! Trust!

He is SELFISH and SELF-LOATHING and BROKEN and fixing himself would surely kill him, but that has never been the reason that he doesn’t try and HE MEANS NOTHING TO ME!!!!