#james killian

Taoka looked up and scowled, lips and nose curling and crinkling a bit as he looked the other person up and down. They were a little shorter than he was, though not exceptionally small in stature. Like him, they currently wore a school uniform, but the house they were marked as belonging to was Heartslabyul. Their eyes were the color of chocolate, and their long raven hair was partially kept by a purple bandana, wound about the top of their scalp. Unlike, Taoka, their right hand bore no glove, and was decorated in like fashion to the left (minus the tattoo). Perhaps the most notable thing, however, was that their arm they carried a rather extravagant looking cane, with a crooked gold top. The cane-and-tattoo-bearing fellow turned to look at Taoka, still holding the sandwich in one hand. They had a look of what could only be described as “flamboyant smugness,” nose stuck up and seemingly very proud of themselves…as if they were constantly trying to prove they were better than somebody else. Taoka squirmed internally; he knew that look VERY well from experience, and it only made him scowl more crossly. “Ahoy there!” the young man in the bandana boomed, in a voice that was so loud it almost made Taoka jump. He then gestured behind Taoka, pointing with his cane towards a distant table. “If you would be so kind, my dear sir, as to pardon me and allow me passage? I must retire to consume my vittles at my chosen port.” Taoka blinked a couple times, taken aback. “Uh…you mind runnin’ all that by me a li’l slower, babe? And without blowin’ my eardrums out?” he grimaced, wringing out one ear in emphasis. The other student smiled patiently. Perhaps TOO patiently. Patronizingly, in fact. “I’d like to get by and get to my table, please, and you’re blocking my way currently,” he replied, in a slow, overly-polite-sounding tone that matched his expression. “Oh, so I’m holdin’ you up?” Taoka glared, and advanced slightly. “Well, from where I stand, you’re holdin’ ME up, too! You’re definitely holdin’ up my lunch!” “Your lunch?” frowned the Heartslabyul student, and smirked as he held the sandwich up and gave it a slight wiggle with a flick of his wrist. “I don’t see your name stenciled upon the paper here. As far as I’m concerned, this is MY lunch.” Taoka’s eyes narrowed further, till they were amethyst slits…then, a slow, sinister sort of smile came over his face. Steadily, he prowled closer to his rival for the honor of the mighty sandwich… “Mmmmm…funny thing about that, cutie-pie…I’m not necessarily talkin’ about that sandwich.” He grinned, showing off his sharp teeth. Instantly, a change came over the other student, as their eyes widened and their bold, cocksure smile faltered. Cautiously, they stepped back, and Taoka met each step with a threatening forward step of his own. “I-I, ah…ahem! Is…is th-that so?” the other student stammered, trying to sound bold, but stuttering too much to manage. Taoka chuckled low in his chest and nodded, licking his fangs. “Uh-huh,” he said. “See, it takes a lotta meat to keep this fed…” He patted his belly with one hand as he moved closer to his prey. “...And you, babe? You look like seafood.” Latronis made a show of sniffing the air and chortled. “Ho-Ho…kinda smell like it, too. You sure you’re a human and not just some fishsticks someone left out for me to snap up, huh?” he cooed teasingly.

Taoka’s grin widened as these taunting words only made the other party gulp nervously…and a blush came to their face. “Maybe I oughta just…lead you somewhere less public…gobble you up for my supper…send that sandwich down after you…” The Heartslabyul student froze as they suddenly found their back flat against a wall. Taoka immediately thrust out one arm, slamming his palm into the wall behind them and to the side of their head. He chuckled softly as they let out a shrill sound of startled fright; he could hear their heartbeat, smell their fear…and something else. His mouth watered as he saw their cheeks flush an even brighter shade of red, those brown eyes seeming doe-like and so soft. “How’s that sound, fishfood? Huh?” The other student whimpered a bit, and smiled a sort of crooked, anxious smile, lifting their right hand shakily in a placating manner. “N-Now now, I…um…ahem. S-Steady there! Th-there’s no need to take such drastic measures! I-I’m sure we can…uh…c-come to some sort of agreement, yes?” Taoka hummed thoughtfully in the back of his throat, still rubbing his belly with his free hand. He tilted his head, smiling in a sultry sort of fashion. “What’s your name, babe?” he asked, in his lowest, smokiest sort of voice. “Seen you around. Heard about ya. Don’t think I ever caught it, though.” “James,” the other student answered, and, to their credit, they didn’t stammer when speaking their own name. “James Killian.” “Mmmmm…well, Jimmy-boy…” “James!” “Uh-huh, that’s what I said…tell you what, I’ll let you, heh, ‘off the hook’ this time, ‘kay?” James blinked twice. “You…you will?” he peeped, and almost sounded disappointed…but quickly covered it up. “Er, that is, ah…w-well, I…um…thank you, but…m-may I ask what the condition is?” “Awww, there’s no condition, codfish. Ya see…” Taoka grinned anew, a twinkle in his eyes, lifting the hand that had been at his belly…and suddenly revealing a familiar wrapped sandwich now rested between his fingers. “...I already have what I really wanted.” James’ look of fear and strange longing fell away, changing to an absolutely gobsmacked look. His mouth opened and closed a few times, but no sound came out; he really did look like a fish in that moment! Taoka sniggered as Killian lifted the hand that had been holding his sandwich, flexing his fingers, shocked as they clasped around thin, empty air. James froze up again as Taoka playfully patted his cheek and winked. “Better luck next time, cutie-pie,” he crooned. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go have some ‘vittles’ of my own. Catch ya later.”

So saying, Taoka blew a teasing kiss into James’ face, which brought the blush back…but only briefly. As Taoka turned on his heel and prepared to find a table, he didn’t notice as James’ expression changed from a look of flustered startlement to a snarling sneer…nor when the raven-haired young man undid a secret catch upon his cane, and silently, stealthily withdrew a long, thin blade from his walking stick… “BAD FORM!” Now it was Taoka’s turn to let out a yelp as, suddenly, the point of a rapier-like cane sword thrust itself into his field of vision…and skillfully pierced itself through the wax paper and the sandwich within. The sword then withdrew, bringing the sandwich back with it. Taoka whirled about just in time to see James stuffed the sandwich into a pocket and run off, sheathing his blade as he went. “H-Hey! HEY! GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE CODFISH!” roared Taoka, and sprinted after Killian. “Oh, come now, WHY DO PEOPLE DEFAULT TO THAT NAME SO EASILY?!” James shouted to the sky above. Taoka didn’t even think to answer THAT question: he was more concerned with getting his sandwich back! He gritted his teeth as he chased James clear out of the cafeteria and onto the grounds outside. James had not gone far - the cafeteria doors were still plainly in sight - when he rounded a bend and abruptly bumped into somebody else. Both parties jolted and jerked with a pair of matching grunts, each startled by the other’s presence. “Oof! Oh, excuse me, pardon me!” James sputtered. “No, no, it’s fine, it’s fine, my fault!” the other student said, and helpfully reached out to dust off James’ uniform…only to pull back and put his hands up when James let out a slight growl and defensively swiped at them with his hands, like a cat swatting away unwanted affection. “Sorry about that!” “Not at all,” muttered James, and arched an eyebrow as he looked at the other person. The newcomer was taller than him, Killian noted, with a lean, athletic sort of build. The features of their school uniform indicated they came from Diasomnia house, but at first glance, he might have mistaken them for Savanaclaw: they were a beastman - specifically demi-dog, of some sort. Their hair was slightly shaggy, though short-cut, and brown in color, with pointed canine ears that had inky black tips. This coloration matched the doglike tail that swished behind them. Their green eyes were half-hidden by the odd, indigo-tinted shades they wore, and they wore black gloves on each hand. Their belt was fastened with a silver buckle in the shape of an inkwell. “Elias Inque,” the other student greeted with a broad, amiable smile. “Nice to meet you.” “James,” Killian said, shortly, with a curt nod. “A pleasure, I’m sure. Now, if you don’t mind, I REALLY must-” “GOTCHA!” James yelped as he was suddenly tackled to the ground by Taoka Latronis. Elias nimbly skipped back out of the way. James cried out as he found himself pinned beneath Taoka who grinned viciously down at the pirate’s anxious-looking face. “Thanks for being easy to catch,” cackled Taoka, licking his chops. “Mmmmm…that little race worked up an appetite though…” “A-Alright, alright, easy there!” Killian squeaked out. “Let’s n-not forget, you’re the one who stole from me first, after all!”

“You say that like I should feel bad,” snorted Taoka, and glared ferociously. “Now GIMME!” “Shan’t!” James barked, trying to glare even as his cheeks reddened once again. “I stole it back fair and square!” “You either give me back my lunch, or you’re gonna BE my-!” The sound of rustling paper, and food being bitten into, distracted both scoundrels. Each wore matching, stunned expressions, as they turned and looked upwards towards the source of the sounds. Elias leaned back against the wall, cheeks stuffed with one half of the sandwich, the other still gripped in one of his gloved hands. He smirked in a self-satisfied manner, green eyes glittering behind the blue-violet tinting of his sunglasses as he swished his tail from left to right. He swallowed the mouthful with a loud, almost taunting GUUULLLP, and smacked his lips as the thick bulge went down his gullet…before stifling a burp in his cheeks and fist. “BRRRLLLMMMPH…phew…‘scuse me,” he chuckled, and held the remaining half of the sandwich up a little higher. “This what you’re both looking for? Huh. That’s a shame.” Before either Taoka or James could respond to that, Eli promptly stuffed the other half of the sandwich into his gaping jaws, letting out a relishing “Mmmmm…!” of contentment between gnaws as he chewed it up, just to tease the pair. James and Taoka, for their parts, swore they could feel their eyes twitch, still in the same posture as before, as if they’d been petrified. Elias chuffed with laughter as he swallowed the rest of the sandwich and patted his stomach with pride. He belched again, this time without a hint of restraint, and licked his incisors. “UUUUURRRRRRRP! Oof…sits heavy in there sometimes. Ah, well…thanks for bringing me my favorite from the cafeteria! I’ll be on my way, gentlemen. Ta-ta!” Waggling his fingers in farewell before tucking his hands into his pockets, Eli whistled a jaunty tune as he turned to leave. However, he hadn’t taken more than a half dozen steps (if that) before he found Taoka barring his way, crouched slightly in a ready position. Elias paused…then shrugged and turned around again…only to grow irritated when James Killian blocked him in the other direction, holding his cane out like the rapier hidden within its casing. “Oh, come on,” Elias sighed. “It was just a sandwich!” “It was the last one for the day!” Taoka exclaimed. “It should have been MINE!” “Nonsense,” sniffed James. “I got me hands on it first!” “Heh. Yeah, and how long did that last, fish filet?” teased Taoka cockily. “Oh, as if I didn’t manage to plunder it from your crabby mitts, ye barnacle-brain!” snarled James. “It ultimately doesn’t matter, since I managed to steal it from you both,” Elias almost giggled. “Sorry, boys! You just can’t compare to a TRUE master thief!” “Say that again,” growled Taoka, fists clenched. “I dare you.” “Really? Well, as you wish: you just can’t compare to a true master thief!” grinned Elias, seemingly amused. “Bite your tongue, ya scurvy sea dog!” snapped James. “I’ll have you know I was pilfering long before you were even born!” “I think we’re about the same age,” Elias responded blandly. “That’s beside the point!” huffed James.

“I’ve been picking pockets for years,” snorted Taoka, crossing his arms firmly. “If anybody here is the best thief, it’s gotta be me.” “Oh, then how do you explain me managing to snatch that sandwich away from you so deftly, hmmm?” James teased. “I dunno. I snatched it from you first. And I was subtle about it,” Taoka taunted right back. “And I got without either of you noticing!” sang Elias. “Again, seems like I’m the top here!” “Babe, I’m the bottom if you’re the top,” droned Taoka. “...I am…not sure what that means, unless you’re referencing a song,” Elias replied blandly. “I’m not,” was the equally bland response. “Oh, what difference does it all make?!” James scoffed. “It’s pointless arguing with animals!” “YOU TAKE THAT BACK!” both Eli and Taoka snarled violently. “Make me, ye blathering pair of Cinderella-slipper-wearing bilge rats!” James yapped. “Girls, girls, you’re ALL beautiful, please stop.” All three stopped short in their arguing as they heard a familiar voice and turned…and when they saw who had just spoken and gone past, all three wore matching, nefarious grins. “Come to think of it…we could always ask for a second opinion,” Elias suggested, slyly. “That’s the first smart thing you’ve said so far,” Taoka said drearily. “Bite me,” growled Eli. “Don’t tempt me,” the half-decapod replied back, and the three hurried to catch up with the person who had just gone past…

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…And this is where YOU come into the story.

You had no idea what James, Elias, and Taoka were nattering about as you headed on your way to the cafeteria. For once, Grim was not at your side: the feline-esque critter had taken ill, and was back at Ramshackle trying to recover from a common cold. You had promised to bring him some of the finest fancy tuna you could find from the cafeteria during your lunch break between classes.

So, when you had seen the trio shouting at each other, you had just decided it was best to put your two cents in, hoping to break up the argument quickly, and move on. That would be one less problem for you to worry about…and considering it seemed like half the school would literally eat each other alive if you weren’t there to do SOMETHING about it for the headmage’s sake, you needed as few problems as possible.

It was regrettable that your decision to call attention to yourself had resulted in the exact opposite of your hopeful interest. Not but a few more steps away from the bickering gaggle of college mages, you almost skidded to a halt as they suddenly swung in front of you and barred your way.

“Hey, sweetheart! Got a minute!” Taoka teased with a wink.

You blinked three times…then sighed and put your hands on your hips, hoping you looked as unfazed as you wanted them to believe…not easy when two of NRC’s Most Ravenous (which was saying a lot) and a dashing pirate were in your path.

“Seems like I haven’t got a choice,” you snorted. “What do you three want?”

“We have a question, my dear Prefect, and we’re hoping you can give us an honest answer,” James explained.

“Okay,” you replied, slowly, after a brief pause. “And…what exactly is that question?”

“Which of us is the better thief?” Elias chirruped, hopefully.

You gave him your most withering stare. You hoped your voice matched it.

“...Are you seriously asking me that question right now?”

“HA! You see. That means it’s me!” Elias grinned proudly.

“In what universe?!” hissed Taoka, angrily.

“I’ll be clam chowder before you two beat me at piracy!” boomed James, waving his cane around dramatically.

“No one, and I mean NO ONE, is a better thief than the Phantom Blot!” bellowed Elias.

“Uh…who is the Phantom Blot?” Taoka asked, lamely.

“ME!” Eli almost screamed, ears dipping, a whine of dejection entering his voice. He quickly changed it to a rough tone of anger: “Not that I’d expect a garish buffoon like yourself to recognize magnificence!”

“Jeeze, how many people here talk like that?” mumbled Taoka, and then added aloud: “If you were as good at stealing as you are at talking fancy, maybe this would actually be a contest!”

Halfway through the newest yelling match, you facepalmed…but as Taoka uttered the last few words, you suddenly felt a metaphorical lightbulb go off over your head.

“There!” you suddenly exclaimed. “You’ve got it!”

“Got what?” Taoka asked, as all three looked at you in confusion.

“A contest,” you smiled. “Why don’t the three of you compete? Create some sort of…I dunno, TEST, to see who is really the better thief?” All three looked at each other…and slowly started to smile. “By Jove, I think that might be an excellent solution!” James declared. “I don’t know who ‘Jove’ is, but I think it sounds fun!” laughed Taoka. “Agreed,” Elias nodded, and placed a finger to his chin in thought. “But how on Earth are we to manage such a thing? We’d need a judge who could remain objective: I don’t think of any of us can be completely unbiased working on the idea ourselves.” “You’ve got that right,” Taoka concurred. “Especially since we all know I’m going to win anyway.” Elias just let out a decidedly doglike growl as his tail-fur fluffed up irritably. “Well, good luck with that!” you said with a salute, and hastened to try and move past the three. “If you don’t mind-” “Hang on, mates!” piped up James. “I have a suggestion!” “Aww, Chernabog, give me strength,” you groaned under your breath: you had a feeling you knew what the suggestion was. You were correct. “Why not elect the Prefect here to be our resident judge?” James said, and clapped you upon the back. “I believe they would be an excellent choice for the objective party!” “I second the nomination!” Elias said, lifting one finger with a grin. You looked helplessly at Taoka, who just smirked back and lifted his hands as if to say, “Outta my hands.” You sighed dismally and shook your head before giving the three a sort of wane smile. “Well…no one’s trying to take over the school or murder someone yet, so…I guess I have a little time on my hands,” you conceded. “Marvelous!” James cheered. “I’m excited already!” Elias agreed. “HOWEVER,” you spoked up, and lifted one hand. “There are a few conditions.” “Sounds fair,” shrugged Taoka. “Go ahead then, name ‘em.” “First of all,” you said, counting on your fingers, “I will decide how the contest is run, and what the rules are. And if any of you break those rules, you will be disqualified. ‘Honor among thieves’ is gonna be a thing here. Got it?” “Seems reasonable enough,” James nodded. “Second of all, my word is gonna be the FINAL word. So no rematches or whatever; if you guys wanna beat each other up about it after, do it as far away from me as possible.” “Understood,” Elias conceded. “And what are the rules you have in mind?” “I don’t know,” you admitted with a shrug. “I mean, you JUST sprang this on me. I need time to figure out what this contest is gonna be like.”

“How much time?” Eli urged. You paused thoughtfully, then answered: “Meet me at Ramshackle Dorm this Sunday, around lunchtime. That’ll give me a few days to work out some plans.” “It shall be done,” James said, obeisantly, with a courtly bow. “Heh. Well, now I know I’m gonna win,” sniggered Taoka. “What makes you so sure?” you asked, raising one eyebrow, while James and Eli glared at him. “Well, no offense, hun, but you aren’t exactly a Master Thief yourself,” Taoka smirked, swinging his hands behind his head in a slothful pose of relaxed arrogance. “So any plans YOU have in mind are bound to be a cinch.” You paused, looking Taoka up and down…then smiled slowly. “Y’know what? That’s a good point,” you confessed. Taoka grinned wider than ever, chest puffed out proudly. “Which is why,” you went on with a grin, “I’m gonna call on some professional help.” Taoka cussed, while James and Eli snickered.

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“Shishishishi! Okay. Okay, this…this is a joke, right? Is there a camera somewhere? I mean…you wouldn’t ACTUALLY be asking me to…to, uh…um…” Ruggie Bucchi trailed off at the look on your face, as he sat beside you on the couch in the Ramshackle Lounge. “...Oh. You, uh…you’re actually serious.” You nodded mutely. Ruggie cocked his head to one side and scratched behind his own ears, his expression lopsided. “Well, uh…I AM pretty nifty when it comes to picking pockets and such, but…are you sure you even wanna DO this? I mean…it’s not really your thing, Herbivore.” “That’s why I need YOUR help,” you replied. “I have to figure out a way for this contest to end the way I’m hoping it will.” “Oh?” Ruggie blinked, and then smiled sneakily, wiggling on his seat as he scooted closer. “That sounds like you’ve got some schemes of your own in mind.” “You could say that,” you smirked. Ruggie snickered in his usual way, hiding his mouth with his hand. “You may not be Leona, but you’re a lot more sly than people give you credit for,” he remarked, grinning and showing off his own sharp teeth. “I guess that makes you brain food, huh?” “You can save the kink-teasing for after I work out a plan,” you huffed, blushing a little…though, to your credit, it WAS only a little. “Fine, fine,” Ruggie drawled rolling his eyes, then cocked his head the other way. “What exactly IS it you want to do?” “Simple. Stop them arguing. Permanently.” “I could eat them! Would that help?” “Tempting, but not why I called on you at all. What I want is to get them to realize there’s no point in this stupidity, and hopefully get along better in the process.” “Awww, trying to make them all buddy-buddy,” teased Ruggie in a sing-song voice. “Well, aren’t you just a softy?” “Softer than most of you,” you scoffed. “But actually, it’s nothing so sentimental: to be blunt, the less they yell at each other, the less likely I’ll have to put up with whatever chaos they cause.” “Heh. Well, I can approve of ulterior motives,” Ruggie chuckled, then narrowed his eyes. "Although…you seem pretty confident I’ll agree to help.” “Will you?”

Ruggie shrugged. He looked a bit uninterested. “I mean…I haven’t said yes yet,” he reminded you. “What’s in it for me, anyway? I’m not taking place in the contest, and even if I was…psh. I don’t feel I need to PROVE anything, I KNOW I’m a great thief.” “Well,” you began thoughtfully. “I can’t PAY you. Not with money, anyway…” “That’s what I figured,” Ruggie nodded, seeming like he was about to get ready to leave. “However,” you went on, quickly, “If you help me, I can offer you the next best thing.” Ruggie’s ears perked up and his eyes widened. His spotted little tail began to thump the cushions of the sofa. He knew what that meant. “Food?” he asked, hopefully, eyes very large and sparkling. “Yup,” you smirked. “Free meals each day you assist me.” “Hot meals?” Ruggie almost woofed. You had to hold back a giggle as you nodded. “Of course. Made by yours truly. And, when it’s all over, I’ll take you out for a special treat myself.” Ruggie grinned wider than ever. You could hear his guts singing your praises already. He thrust out one fingerless-gloved hand, practically panting with excitement. “Deal!” he declared. “Excellent,” you said, and the two of you shook hands. “You know I can’t resist your cooking,” Ruggie winked. “It’s almost as tasty as you are.” “I am NOT going to be the special treat, if that’s what you’re implying.” “Ooooh…that means it’s gonna be a SURPRISE then! I’m even more curious!” “We’ll see what happens,” you smirked, mysteriously, as you withdrew your hand. “Now. Let’s put our heads together. What do you think would be the best way to test how good these guys are at pinching people’s property, huh?” Ruggie let out a thoughtful sound and reclined on the couch, turning his eyes heavenward…then slowly, he smiled in a slippery, almost serpentine way. “I’ve got a couple ideas,” he said, with a slight cackle. “For a start…”

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“‘Ill-met by moonlight, proud Titania.’” “‘What, jealous Oberon! Fairies, skip hence!’” “Look, for five minutes, could you two NOT talk like that?!” James and Elias “harrumphed” in nearly perfect unison, while Taoka rolled his eyes with an utterly exhausted-sounding sigh. The trio were approaching Ramshackle Dorm, at the appointed date and time the Prefect had set up. They had all chosen to wear their selection of casuals for the occasion: Taoka was gaudily garbed in his favorite gold-and-purple jacket and coral-colored shirt, with the image of a crab stenciled upon it, along with cerulean trousers and glammed-up boots similar in color to his coat. James, meanwhile, was costumed in a bright red coat, a white shirt with frilly, lacey sleeves, maroon-toned pants held in place by a belt with a golden skull-and-crossbones-bearing buckle, and tall black boots. Finally, Elias was dressed in a near skintight black turtleneck top, and similarly form-fitting black pants (fastened by his own unique belt and buckle), with shiny black shoes; combined with his beret cap and purple shades, he looked a little like a stereotypical, pretentious beatnik. It is therefore totally understandable that when Ruggie opened the door and saw the trio…he immediately burst out into a peals of high-pitched giggles. “What’s so funny?” scowled James, fidgeting his fingers around the topper of his cane sword. “Noooothing,” Ruggie sang back, grinning wider than any Cheshire Cat. He then stepped to one side and swept out his arm in an over-the-top way; he spoke in a similarly exaggerated “posh” sort of voice: “Please, fancy gentlemen, DO enter!” All three could tell they were being mocked, and glared at the hyena…but they entered anyway. “So, where’s the Prefect?” asked Taoka, slinging his arms behind his head and half-groaning as he stretched through his sentence. “They’re waiting in the Lounge,” Ruggie answered, and waved for the three to follow him as he strolled in front. “C’mon!” The three strode after the half-hyena as he led them down the hall and into the lounge in question; Ruggie’s ear twitched as he could hear the tapping of Killian’s cane upon the floorboards As they entered the lounge, Ruggie glided over to a loveseat near the entryway. Eli, James, and Taoka all paused as they soon saw you. You were sitting in a rocking chair at the other end of the room…with Grim in your lap…stroking him with a most sinister smile. “Welcome, gentlemen,” you intoned, in your most velvety voice. “I’ve been expecting you. Your timing is impeccable…and by impeccable, I mean ‘completely peccable!’” The three just…blinked at you. Three times each. Slowly. “...Wow,” Elias said at last. “And people say I’M a ham.” Taoka snorted with laughter while Ruggie snickered in the background. James merely smirked, shouldering his cane.

You sighed and pinched your brow. “Everyone’s a critic,” you mumbled. “ACHOO!” All of you jumped slightly as Grim sneezed, sending sparks and smoke flying from his nostrils. The flame-eared, trident-tailed cat looked rather tired and miserable as he slowly rolled his head up to look at you. “Nyaaaa…Minion…can I be excused?” he whined. “I’m still not feeling too good…” “Of course,” you said with a gentle smile, scratching under his chin. “Go rest up. And thanks, Grim; sorry the big entrance didn’t work.” “That’s okay,” sniffled Grim, sounding as stuffed up as he doubtless felt, and nuzzled you slightly. “Hey…bring me some tuna soup when you finish, please?” “Sure,” you nodded, and Grim bounced off your lap and dismally padded off to find his bed. “Goodness, he really MUST be under the weather,” frowned James, worriedly. “I’ll say,” Eli murmured, scratching his head. “He was actually being POLITE.” “I know, right?!” Ruggie broke in. “It’s not natural!” “Grim will be fine by the end of the week,” you said, folding your hands in your lap where he’d been (after dusting a few stray imp-hairs he’d shed away). “You three have more to be concerned with.” “So, you got everything worked out, babe?” Taoka inquired. “I sure do, with Ruggie’s help,” you nodded, and waved a hand towards a sofa near you. “Have a seat, all of you, and I’ll tell you how this is gonna work.” The three self-proclaimed master thieves obediently marched over to the sofa and sat down. For a moment, all three growled as they fidgeted and tried to get comfortable, clearly incensed at being in such close proximity to each other, but finally they settled and looked at you expectantly. You took a breath, and then began to elaborate on the plan… “I am preparing four challenges, each to be completed on a separate day, starting tomorrow. The day after tomorrow will be the second task, the day after that the third, and of course the fourth would follow thereafter.” “Ooooh, ‘thereafter,’” smirked Taoka. “You rehearsed this a little, didn’t you?” “Alternatively, I can call on a favor from Riddle. Then you can all be collared, and no one wins, if you keep making fun of me while I’m talking.” Taoka made a motion of zipping his lip. James and Eli remained respectfully silent.

“That’s better,” you mumbled, and then went on: “Each challenge will test your skills for your chosen…hobby. Every task requires you to find a playing card, which I have hidden somewhere on the campus…” “AHEM!” Ruggie coughed, crossly. “...Which either I or Ruggie have hidden on campus,” you corrected, which satisfied the Savanaclaw student. “One of the four Aces. Ruggie has helpfully put a special marking spell on the cards, so if you try to cheat me with a phony, we will know. Whichever one of you has collected the most cards by the end wins, barring the possibility of a tie, of course. All clear?” “Yeah, so far,” Elias nodded. “Good. Now, there are three basic rules,” you continued, lifting up two fingers in emphasis.“First and foremost, you are not allowed to harm anyone else, or their property, whether they are involved in the contest or not. You also cannot tell anybody who isn’t already aware of the contest anything about it. On that note, while I may enlist the help of other students to make the challenges possible, none of you will be allowed to get help from others who are not involved.” All of you looked pointedly at James. He pouted. “No help from Smitty,” he grumbled. “Got it.” You nodded. “Like I said before,” you finished, lowering your hand, “Break any rules or regulations, and you will be disqualified. That’s all, I think, at least for now.” “Great!” grinned Elias, and leaned forward on the couch slightly, rubbing his hands together. “So, what’s the first challenge? Which card are we getting?” You smirked and looked towards Ruggie, giving him his cue. The hyena was lounging on the loveseat, head propped up on a pillow against one arm rest, his legs crossed and outstretched. Bucchi flashed a devious grin and made a show of flippantly inspecting his fingernails.

“This morning,” he reported, “I managed to sneak into the locker room of the gymnasium and hid the Ace of Clubs in one of the lockers. Tomorrow, you guys have to try and figure out a way to get the card out of the locker, without being caught, then bring it back here to Ramshackle before…uh…” “Dinnertime,” you reminded him. “Around six o’ clock in the evening.” “Right, right,” Ruggie nodded, and then snapped his fingers. “Oh! And I should let you all know: the person whose locker I hid it in? They’ve got no idea it’s in there. At least, I don’t think they do.” “Definitely helpful to be aware of that,” mumbled James, scratching his chin ponderingly. “Hey, no sweat on my back!” grinned Elias, cracking his knuckles and neck in a showoff fashion. “A locker’s no great challenge!” “Well, that depends,” Taoka said, surprisingly seriously, and looked over at Ruggie, raising one eyebrow. “Whose locker is it, babe? Kinda gotta know that, don’t we?” Ruggie glared. “First of all, don’t call me babe.” “Whatever,” shrugged Taoka, uncaringly. “Second of all,” Ruggie went on, and grinned devilishly, “The locker is Azul Ashengrotto’s.” All of the color drained from Taoka’s face. His jaw dropped. A strangled sort of sound left him, as if all the air had been sucked dry from his lungs. His whole demeanor was one of absolute, mortified terror. James and Elias giggled like naughty little boys. “You know, I daresay this game is getting interesting already,” James commented.

“Same here,” chuckled Eli. Taoka said nothing. He looked like he was trying to remember how prayers worked…or perhaps what he wanted to write in his will. You smirked and shook your head in amusement. “You’ve got all the rest of the day to plan this first one out,” you reminded the three. “Good luck, guys.” “Yeah,” Ruggie snickered. “You’re gonna need it…especially crab cakes. Shishishishi!” Latronis could only whimper.

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The following day, a head of purple-dyed hair poked its way around the corner of the entrance to the locker rooms. Two similarly violet-hued eyes darted this way and that, before the owner of these features tip-toed carefully through the quiet backroom area of the gym. Taoka took a deep breath as he approached the locker designated as Azul’s, drumming his fingertips against each other nervously. “Okay…okay, you got this,” he whispered to himself. “It’s just one locker. One simple, ordinary locker. Just a locker with a playing card in it. That’s it. That’s all you gotta worry about. Just…one locker…that belongs to…your absolute worst living nightmare…one locker that belongs to one of the scariest Housewardens in Night Raven history…one locker that belongs to someone who could c-crack your shell and s-s-suck out your s-soul-ohhhhhh, Poseidon give me strength…”Taoka slapped his own cheeks and shook himself out of his fear, taking another couple of deep breaths before moving closer to the locker. It was secured with a rather large and shiny-looking padlock; no doubt Azul, with his personality, had made sure to buy the very best he could afford. Still, any lock had a key or a combination, and Latronis was sure he could figure it out. He just prayed he could do it before Azul showed up; he knew his employer at the Lounge had PE classes in a short while. But if he could get in and out without even SEEING the Octopus…well. Not only would he win the first trial, but it would do a lot for his stress levels. Taoka stuck his tongue out thoughtfully as he brushed his fingers against his own PE uniform, and then took cautious hold of the lock; he half expected an alarm to go off or something, but no. The lock seemed relatively ordinary. Encouraged, he took hold of the dial, and started to turn it this way and that, listening closely to try and pick up the sound of the tumblers tucked within the mechanism. Unfortunately for the demi-crab in disguise, before he could even make a second of headway in that regard, he heard the sound of footsteps approaching…and his blood ran cold as ice in his arteries as he heard a familiar voice speaking…

“Come in! Come in, and follow me. This business shouldn’t take too long…”

The Octopus!

Taoka cursed under his breath, and scurried like a rat (or…well…a crab) across the gymnasium floor, hiding behind a wall that separated the lockers from the showers. He flattened himself back against it, trembling, trying to keep his teeth from chattering. Contest or no contest, if Azul caught HIM anywhere near his locker, he could end up being made into crab bisque! Literally!

As Taoka hid, he heard Azul enter the locker room, muttering something to himself. As his crabby brain raced to try and figure out some sort of way out of this situation (and into the half-cephalopod's locker to snatch the Ace of Clubs), he suddenly heard another, equally familiar (though much less scary) voice come echoing down the hall…

“I’m so glad we could arrange this so easily.”

“Killian?” Taoka murmured to himself in recognition.

“No trouble at all, James!” Azul’s voice crowed, as they moved increasingly closer to the lockers. “Once you told me what you were working on, I simply couldn’t refuse! You know how hard it is for me to say no to my favorite seafarer…”

“Flatterer. At this rate, you’ll have me blushing!”

“Well…you DO look delicious when you’re embarrassed.”

“Oh, come now, that was a trifle forced, don’t you think?”

“Sorry. I have to get at least ONE tease in whenever I meet you, it’s practically law.”

“Indeed? Did we sign a contract on that point at some time and I didn’t know?” “We could, if you like.” “No thanks, I’ll pass. Now, let’s see about opening that locker and-” “CHEAT!” Azul Ashengrotto and James Killian both jumped, startled, as a familiar voice shouted at them, echoing through the locker room. Taoka, rather impulsively, had leapt out from his hiding place, pointing an accusatory finger at James. “Taoka!” Azul gasped in surprise, looking rather amazed at the boldness of the Pomefiore half-crab. “What are you doing here?” James exclaimed, seemingly even more bewildered. “The same as you,” sneered Taoka. He was about to reprimand James for apparently breaking the rules, when Azul spoke up: “Interesting…I didn’t take you to be much of a reader, Latronis.” Taoka blinked. “...Much of a what?” “Well, James was hoping I could lend him a book I borrowed recently from the library,” Azul explained, gesturing towards his locker. “I told him to meet me early, before athletics class, and I would give it to him then and there. Meaning, of course, here and now.” “Oh.” There was an awkward silence. “So…uh…what is the book about?” Taoka asked, with an innocent smile. “Don’t try to change the subject,” Azul glared, eyes glittering in a stormy way behind his glasses. “Given that it’s obvious that’s not what you are here about, why were you skulking about in the showers? And how long have you been here?” “Indeed,” James smirked, and crossed his arms. “And what did you mean by calling me a cheat, hmmm?” Taoka clenched his gloved fist and gritted his teeth behind closed lips. Not only did he now have a rather suspicious Azul looking at him crossly, but if he called James’ bluff and answered the latter question, he’d be disqualified for breaking the rules. Thankfully, the crab-man in human clothing was nothing if not quick-thinking, and rapidly came up with an out. “Oh, I wasn’t calling you a cheat for anything related to that book, whatever it is,” Taoka purred, mimicking James’ own actions. “You ought to know already what this is about.” James Killian’s smile faltered.

“Why should I explain, blast it?! You’re the one who was hiding.” “And you’re the one I accused of cheating.” “How does that put ANY blame on me?” “Well, I have to have a REASON to accuse you, don’t I? Go ahead, give the reason.” “That’s not how this works!” “Isn’t it?” “I can’t simply say what’s going on!” “Then you admit something IS going on, and you know what.” “Yes! NO! I mean…curse it, I can’t say!” “Why not?” “Because…because…YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHY NOT!” “Do I?” “Of course you do!” “Hmmmm, I’m not so sure…” “Oh, you are a VILE creature, sir.” “What’s the matter, Little Codfish? Feeling cornered?” “Says the one who could easily be made into crab cakes!” “Okay, that’s uncalled for-” “Will one of you KINDLY explain what’s happening?” Azul groaned, clearly growing annoyed with both of them. “We can’t,” both answered at once, then glared at each other before looking back at Azul again. Ashengrotto was completely puzzled…then his expression cooled. It was now HIS turn to smirk and cross his arms. “I see,” he said, in a soft, slow way…and then moved to stand firmly in front of his locker. “Well. Then perhaps I can make a guess.” The two gulped nervously, but said nothing. “I’m going to make a wager - hypothetically, mind you - that both of you want something I have,” Azul said, calmly, and adjusted his glasses. His usual sly, smarmy smile came to his face as he spoke. “Presumably, something inside my locker. Am I right?” Neither said a word. “I’ll take your silence as a yes,” Azul almost giggled, and then plastered his most charming, winning smile upon his face as he swept some stray silver hairs out of his eyes. “Well, this is hardly a great issue! You know I’m more than happy to help my underclassmen! Why don’t you simply tell me what it is, and we’ll see about coming to an arrangement for one or both of you. Simple enough, isn’t it?” “Not quite,” James said slowly, and bowed slightly in respect. “You see, Azul, we ARE after something you have…” “...But we can’t tell you what it is,” Taoka finished.

“Why not?” Azul inquired, raising one eyebrow. “For a start, you probably don’t even know you have it, boss,” Taoka said. “That is a fact,” James conceded. “You wouldn’t be aware you’re holding it.” Azul glared. A coldness came to his blue eyes that made both James and Taoka feel as if the whole room had lost all its warmth. Slowly, he advanced on both of them, stepping closer and closer. Both the pirate and the half-crab gulped anxiously and stepped backwards as he approached. “I am aware,” Azul said, very quietly, “Of every single coin in my collection. I am aware of every single thaumark my Lounge has made me, and then some. I am aware of each and every LETTER printed upon each and every contract I keep stored in my special vault. I am acutely aware of every single collateral and payment those contracts involve, from magical abilities to monetary fees. I am also aware of every single pound I put on and every single calorie I have to count after I overindulge at mealtimes.” James and Taoka were now backed up against the wall, the icy gaze of the head of Octavinelle boring into their very spirits. “So…are you two really telling me…I don’t know I have something that you really, really want?” “M-Maybe?” squeaked Taoka. “Quite possibly,” peeped James. Azul’s eyes flashed, and he leaned in closer still. “Say. That. Again.” James and Taoka almost whimpered. They had the sneaking suspicion that if they did just that, they’d be among the calories Azul would be counting. Given how James’ face turned pink, and Taoka’s turned white as a sheet, one could guess how each felt at such a proposition. While the pirate and the crab tried to figure out a way out of their sticky situation, neither they nor Azul noticed a dark, thin trail of what appeared to be blackish-blue ink, slithering across the floor like a snake in the grass. It wormed its way up across the lockers…and then slid through the gaps in the slats on Azul’s locker front. After a few moments, the dark tendril retracted, wriggling its way back the way it had just come, down the side of the lockers, across the floor, around the bend into the shower room Taoka had been in not long ago…and up the wall there, into a ventilation shaft, where it disappeared completely. It was only once the unseen, inky intruder had left the backrooms of the gymnasium that one of the two competing bandits was able to finally find his voice… “A RECIPE!” Azul’s eyes now fixed firmly on James, the look of unnerving frostiness changing to a confused expression. “A what?” “W-Well, you see…the Culinary Crucible is in a couple of months, and I-I was planning to p-participate!” James stammered, with a wide smile, and glanced towards Taoka. “He was going to do the same, and…we-well, you know how competitive that course is! D-Don’t you?” “I was? I mean, YES! Yes, that’s totally true, babe-AH, I mean, boss! Yes, boss, that’s what this is all about!” Azul did not look convinced, but he no longer looked like he was about to call on Floyd or Jade (or worse), either.

“I don’t quite understand,” he said slowly. “What do I have to do with that?” “Well, we both knew you participated a while back, and we also know you’re always looking for recipes to add to the Mostro Lounge menu,” James went on. Azul nodded steadily, still not quite understanding. “I had mentioned to my crabby associate here that I might try asking you if you had any recipes to share that might be in your locker. My guess is that Taoka was waiting here in the hopes of getting ahead of me, and thought that I had been trying to do the same.” “Yeah,” sighed Taoka, and made a show of looking shamefaced, kicking at an invisible rock with his shoe. “Sorry, boss, for worrying you. We just wanted to get an advantage over each other ahead of time. You can understand that, right?” “I can indeed,” Azul nodded, seemingly swallowing the story. “And as luck would have it, I think I might have a new recipe I discovered in my locker; I was planning to bring it back after class concluded. So, I’ll make you a deal: I’ll give one of you this recipe, but only on the condition that it stays secret between the three of us. And of course, you won’t be getting it for free.” “Name your price, we’ll see which of us can meet it,” promised Taoka. “Indeed!” James grinned, hoping he looked as eager as he sounded as he made a show of crossing his heart. Azul smirked. “Well, let’s see how much the two of you like it first,” he purred, like a cat settling a belly full of rich cream. Then, he turned on his heel and tromped back towards his locker. James and Taoka sighed with immense relief behind him, and shot each other a sour look…but their shared mixed feelings of animosity and relief were short-lived. As Azul opened his locker, each was thinking of a way to sneakily get the card supposedly stored inside… …But Azul letting out a perplexed, “Eh?” beat them to it. “What’s the matter?” James asked. “Something strange. Perhaps you two weren’t being as silly as I thought,” Azul frowned. He turned around, holding out what appeared to be not a playing card, but an index card, towards the two. “Do either of you know about this business?” James stepped forward to take the card and inspect it. His expression hardened as he then handed it to Taoka, who peered at what was written upon it. The half-crab felt something inside of him twitch, and his temple throbbed, as he saw the image of a smeared ink blot, and the following words: Better luck next time, fools! “No,” he said, evenly, with his best poker face. “This is totally news to us, boss.”

Azul looked Taoka up and down briefly, clearly dubious. To say he was concerned was an understatement. He hastily began to sift through the stuff in his locker, obviously checking to see if anything had been taken. His expression changed to one of great relief when he realized everything he knew should be in there WAS in there. “Thank goodness…a prank, no doubt, slipped through the slats,” he muttered, and retrieved the index card before tearing it up, grumbling to himself. “I’ll bet it was Floyd…or maybe Jade. Those two always love giving me a heart attack, one way or another…” As Azul went to throw the shredded pieces away, Taoka and James shared a sorrowful look. “I hate that mutt,” Taoka Latronis growled. James Killian said nothing, but he seemed inclined to agree.

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The next morning… “Ahhh! Look who decided to show up!” Elias greeted, grinning and wagging his tail as he stirred a glass of chocolate milk with one hand. He was seated in the lounge, waiting happily for James and Taoka. As they entered - each with matching, grouchy looks upon their faces - he held up the Ace of Clubs. “First game goes to me! You two might as well forfeit early; that was too easy!” “For YOU, maybe,” Taoka said with a shudder. “I thought I was gonna be fried and served on a bun!” “One could only be so lucky,” mumbled James, with a slight blush. “What?” “Nothing, never mind.” “Hey, contest’s only just getting started, guys,” Ruggie drawled from his spot on the loveseat as he munched on a strip of bacon. You had prepared breakfast for everybody present, and while Eli and Taoka’s plates were piled high with food, Ruggie had clearly gotten the lion’s share…ironically, perhaps, for a hyena, but that was another matter. “Well,” grunted Taoka, as he sat down and began to munch on some hashbrowns. He spoke through a full mouth. “What’s the next test?” You waited till he swallowed before answering between bites of your own, much smaller-served breakfast of bacon, hashbrowns, and scrambled eggs with cheddar. “Your next prize is the Ace of Diamonds,” you told them. “I took care of hiding it this time, myself. It’s in the Alchemy Lab.” “Hmph. You know, if every test is going to be, ‘get this thing I put here,’ without variation, it could become quite tedious,” James drawled. “Oh, it’s a little trickier than that,” you explained to the trio with a slight smirk. “See, there are two important points: first, I’m not telling you WHERE in the Alchemy Lab it is. You’ll have to figure out where it’s been stashed.” “And what’s the other point?” Elias asked, as he sipped his chocolate milk.

“When you took the Ace of Clubs, you did it before classes began; when there was no teacher supervising things, and no other students to potentially interfere,” you reminded them. You paused, before then saying: “This time, you have to get the card out of the Lab…while you’re all in Alchemy Class together. You will then all report back here this evening. Obviously, you can’t let Professor Crewel or anyone else in class see you take it.” “Are you daft?!” James exclaimed. “We all know what a strict taskmaster he is!” “That’s what makes it challenging!” Ruggie sang out, waving his fork around merrily. “What’s the matter, Little Codfish?” smirked Elias. “Afraid I’ll win again?” “Stow yer anchor in a place where the sun won’t shine, ye ink-brained sea slug,” and pointed his own fork at Eli…still with a bit of egg on it. “This time, I’ll get that Card, just wait and see!”

Elias laughed mockingly in response. Taoka, for his part, remained unusually quiet. He simply smirked to himself, licking his lips between gulps of milk, the fingers of his free hand drumming against the sofa cushions to a beat only he could hear…

Elias whimpered, ducking his head and tucking his tail between his legs with a look of true fear. James, who had watched everything, sniggered nastily. Then, both of them jumped and yelped - as did nearly everybody else in the lab, in fact - when out of nowhere… ZAM! …There was a blinding flash of golden light, which lit up the whole lab. Everyone flinched and shrouded their eyes. Many blinked back tears that were jerked from their ducts at the sudden, bursting glare. James and Elias blinked - the latter removing his shades and rubbing his eyes, confused as to how even his sunglasses hadn’t done much to block the shining flash - as the light finally faded and their bleary vision began to clear. Once it finally had…Elias Inque’s eyes widened. He waved to James to get his attention, and pointed at the shelf that had been a target for them both. James turned…and was stunned to see the card had disappeared from its place. Over the sound of Divus Crewel barking at the students, demanding to know what had just happened, certain someone had put something in their potion they should not have…a shrill whistle caught the pair’s ears. The two turned… …And each sneered vengefully. Taoka Latronis stood a few stations away. His partner was still clearing their eyes. The crab in disguise offered them each a complacent smile as he revealed the Ace of Diamonds tucked between two of his fingers, and then slipped it into his pocket. “Drat,” Elias groaned. “Foiled again.”

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“Yer a limp-fingered, brine-swilling, quasi-crustaceous excuse of a man!” “And you REALLY know how to come up with some HILARIOUS insults, tiger. Mind writin’ some of ‘em down? Maybe I can work ‘em into a song sometime!” grinned Latronis in response to Killian’s caterwauling. “Guys, guys, relax!” Ruggie yawned, as he once again lounged upon the loveseat. “It’s only half time…” All this was said before Ruggie placed a cherry on the tip of his tongue and swallowed it up whole. He sighed, tracing the path it made as it rolled down his throat and into his belly. He gave his tummy a tap with two fingers before letting out a short, deep burp. He then grinned and winked in your direction. You blushed bright red and squirmed in your seat. “Teasing showoff,” you mumbled, then quickly cleared your throat. You had served up some fruit salad for each of your guests that evening. Thankfully, Elias and Taoka were too busy glaring at each other to even consider teasing you, and James was more the sort to be teased himself than anything else. Ruggie was the only one in any kind of mood to fluster you. Small blessings, you supposed. “AHEM! So. That’s two cards and two trials down, two more to go. For the next one,” you informed the group, “I’ve decided to bring someone else into the fold…kind of.” “Kind of?” Eli repeated, finally turning away from Taoka to arch an eyebrow in your direction. He adjusted his shades and his tie. “What do you mean by that?” “Well, therein lies the test,” you explained. “I’ve asked another party to take care of the Ace of Hearts. They’re to deliver it to me, here, by sundown tomorrow. However, I haven’t told them the real reason why I need them to take care of the card: they only know that I’ll need them to return it to me by then, and not to let anybody else take it from them.” “Which is exactly what we’ve gotta do, right?” Taoka guessed. “Correct,” you nodded. “Just like with the previous task, all three of you will report here in the evening, presumably after the test is finished. The usual rules apply, meaning you can’t hurt this person or anything they value, you cannot tell them why you need the card if you confront them, and you cannot ask anybody who isn’t involved for help.” “We all gathered those points, I suspect,” Elias pointed out. “But who on Earth did you get to agree to this? There aren’t very many people on this campus I’d personally trust with my own property, under any circumstances, and very few I can think of who would do something like this under the given set of issues. I’m presuming you offered them a reward?” “No reward, actually, just trust,” you replied. “Well, that rules out Ace and Deuce, just for a start,” James murmured thoughtfully. “Is it Kalim?” Taoka asked. “I mean, that kid’s got more honesty in his chest than is probably healthy in a human being…or any other livin’ creature, for that matter.” “I’d personally wager that the same fact rules him out, too,” Elias pointed out. “Kalim is far too trusting, and while he’s no slouch in physical fitness, he’s more of a lover than a fighter. Any one of us could easily beguile him into giving up the card or snatch it out from under his nose without much issue. I’d suggest our discerning judge would be a little too smart to utilize him.” “Thank you, Eli,” you smiled with a grateful nod. “And no, it’s not any of them.” “Perhaps one of the other housewardens then?” Elias thought to ask…and then looked distinctly anxious. “You wouldn’t lend it to Malleus, would you?” “I want you all to compete, not risk getting roasted alive,” you blandly retorted.

“You’re getting warm though!” Ruggie sang out, in-between bites of cantaloupe from his fruit salad bowl, wiggling his booted feet happily as he swished his tail. He was clearly enjoying watching the trio try to figure it out. “Is it someone from Diasomnia?” James guessed. “Ding-Ding-Ding! Give the Little Codfish a prize!” Ruggie giggled. James blushed at the nickname, and mumbled “churlish pozzy-wallah” under his breath. “So,” Taoka summed up, clapping and rubbing his hands together. “Some guy at Diasomnia…someone the Prefect trusts a lot - who isn’t Malleus, thank Chernabog - and isn’t likely to just give us what they’re holding or let their guard down easily. Also, apparently they’re doing all this without asking for something in return, so they ain’t as selfish as some others.” Elias Inque’s green eyes widened. A Diasomnia student himself, he immediately fitted the puzzle pieces in his head together. A pondering “Hmmmmm” left him as he sat back, steepling his fingers in grave concentration. “I can think of only one person in my dorm that fits that entire description,” he said, seriously. James and Taoka looked at each other, then at you and Ruggie and your matching smirks, and then at Elias Inque. “Who?” they asked together.

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Silver yawned, and stretched drowsily. He smiled - a patient, calm, ever-sleepy smile - as he glanced about the halls of Diasomnia’s castle dormitories, and then began to march his way through the passages. It was time to start another day of classes.

As he walked, he patted a pocket of his dorm uniform. He nodded to himself, a stern look in his aurora-hued eyes.

“Good,” he murmured. “It’s still there. I just have to hold onto it till sundown. I’m not sure what this ‘special project’ the Prefect was talking about needs a playing card for…but if they really need it to be kept safe till they’re ready, I’ll do my very best.”

Nodding to himself again, Silver straightened his posture as he strode in the direction of the mirror portal that would lead him out of Diasomnia and to the main campus. As he was walking, he heard a sudden commotion, and the sound of someone cursing under their breath. A perplexed sort of scowl came to Silver’s face, and he hurried to see what was the matter.

His aurora eyes widened when he saw a fellow Diasomnia student kneeling on the ground, apparently trying to clean up some sort of mess. He recognized who it was instantly: there was only one student in their dorm with doglike ears and a tail. “Elias?” he called out, hastened down the hall. “Are you alright?” “Oh! Oh, Silver, good morning!” Eli called back with a wave, and a slightly embarrassed chortle. “Ha Ha…yes, I’m fine, just…a bit clumsy, that’s all…” “That’s not like you,” Silver observed as he approached, and tilted his head as he looked down. “What’s the matter? Drop something?” “Yes,” sighed Eli, and stood up making a grand, sweeping gesture with his hands. All around him on the floor was a litter of playing cards. “I was invited to join Reno for a game over breakfast, you see, before we both need to get to class. I volunteered to bring my own deck, but…well…” He showed the box that had held the cards to Silver. It looked rather old and worn out, and had clearly torn along its sides. “I’m sorry,” Silver said, a hint of sadness in his eyes. “I know that’s got to be frustrating…and I’d hate for you to be late for your game…” A smile came to his face, and he knelt down. “Here,” he said, and began to lift the cards from the floor. “I’ll help you pick these up, for a start.” “Thank you, my friend,” Elias said graciously, hiding his smirk as the pair hastened to pluck the cards that had fallen and reshuffle them together. Elias carefully picked up the Ace of Hearts from his deck first, and tucked it sneakily into his own uniform pocket when he thought Silver wasn’t looking. Then, he made a show of fussing and fretting as the two quickly gathered up the other 51 cards in the deck and sorted them together. He soon spotted the Ace of Hearts in Silver’s pocket with his keen eyes. He quickly tried to snatch it out with a deft swipe of his fingers…but before he could, Silver stood, and Eli had to withdraw lest his attempt be spotted. “There you go!” Silver said, sweetly, holding out half the deck. “That should be all of them.” “Oh! Oh, uh, thank you!” Eli stammered as he put the two half-decks together. “Not at all,” Silver said, smiling a little more. “What are dorm-mates for? Now, I have to get to my own class, Eli. Please be more careful!” “I’ll try, and I’ll find another box soon,” Eli added. Silver nodded, and then turned to leave. As he did, Elias waited a bit…then called out. “One moment!” Silver turned around, looking confused. “Is something wrong?” he asked, innocently. Eli was making a show of scanning the deck in his hand. “I, uh…think you might have accidentally taken one of my cards. The Ace of Hearts?” he said.

Silver blinked at him. Twice. “You put it in your pocket,” he reminded Inque. “I saw you.” Elias cursed violently in his own mind. In real life, he laughed with embarrassment and fetched the card from his own coat pocket. “Ah-ha! Yes, yes, so I did! Er…thank you again!” “Anytime,” smiled Silver, serenely, seemingly none the wiser, and went on his way. Behind him, Elias pouted as he pocketed the deck of cards. “Ruined a good box for nothing,” he grumbled, and pouted as he stalked back towards his room. “Curses!” A couple of hours went by. They were uneventful. For Silver, the day was passing like any other so far. A few times he checked his pocket to make sure the playing card was still there and decently intact, but otherwise, things proceeded as usual. Of course, “usual” for Silver also meant one particular curse. About halfway through his day, as he was on his way to lunch, he suddenly felt the oncoming stirrings of a sudden spell of tiredness. He yawned and scrubbed at his eyes as he walked through the grounds. Part of the way to the cafeteria, he paused…and sat down on a bench beneath an apple tree, near the wishing well. “Just a short nap,” he mumbled to himself, yawning again as he reclined upon the bench and got ready to sleep. “I’m sure…I’ll still have time…to…” Before he could say “eat,” he was already snoring, eyes closed as he peacefully rested in the shade. The breeze whistled through his hair, but still he did not stir. This was the moment another competitor had been waiting for. Taoka Latronis grinned wider than any Cheshire Cat as he poked his head out of the nearby colonnade, and then began to sneak towards Silver. He’d been watching the bodyguard most of the day, waiting for the right moment to strike. As far as he was concerned, the best time to pinch the playing card would be while Silver was having one of his sleeping spells. At first, it seemed he was correct. Cautiously, steadily, Taoka bent down…and dove his gloved hand into one of Silver’s pockets. To his delight, he picked the one that had the playing card on the first try! Carefully, he slid the card out of the pocket, and turned away, ready to depart as if nothing happened… …Unaware that a single gray eye had instantly snapped open behind him. Taoka had only taken three steps…when he froze up, suddenly, as Silver shot up from his resting spot, and drew the collapsible combat-rod he carried with him from its scabbard. The same steel rod suddenly whipped out and drew itself hard against his chest, and one of his arms was captured into the crook of Silver’s other limb, to make sure he wouldn’t escape. Taoka hissed through his teeth, startled and a little scared. He instinctively raised both hands (not hard when one arm was already drawn upwards) in surrender. His own violet eyes slid to peer into Silver’s. The resident human of Diasmonia was glaring at him with a frosty, strict look in his metallic irises. “Please give that back,” he asked, politely but firmly. “I…wha…buh…how did you…?!”

“My training with my father has taught me a great deal,” Silver said. “Though I may sleep extremely soundly, I can still feel it when one tries to pick my pocket. If I am to defend Malleus with all my heart, I need to be alert as much as possible.” Taoka gulped. “I’ll ask once more: please, give that back.” Silver’s tone was neither angry nor annoyed. He sounded matter of fact, calm, and even sort of beseeching. “I don’t want to fight you, but I will, if I need to. Return the card, and then we can go back to being friends. Alright?” Taoka would have snorted at the almost infantile naivete he felt in those words…but he really didn’t want to risk getting beaten within an inch of his life, when his shell wasn’t even on him…and besides, he’d already lost the trial. In a test of thievery, it was naturally indicated he couldn’t get caught, and he had been…and if he tried to take it by force, that would only make things worse, as he wasn’t allowed to even try and hurt Silver. “Alright, fine,” he sighed in defeat. Silver lowered the rod and released his arm. Taoka then turned and obligingly handed the Ace back to him. “Why would you want to take this anyway?” Silver asked, puzzled. “Eh, it was just meant to be a bit of fun,” Taoka lied, with a limp sort of smile. “Didn’t think it would mean that much to ya.” “I see,” Silver nodded, accepting this excuse immediately. “Well, normally, I wouldn’t mind, but I promised the Prefect of Ramshackle Dorm I’d bring this back to them by sundown. I have to keep my promise; I hope you understand.” “I understand you’re a goody two shoes,” mumbled Taoka to himself. “What was that? I didn’t quite hear you,” Silver checked, sincerely. “Oh, uh…nothin’. Yeah. I get it, sunshine. Uh…have a good day, and, um…sorry for that.” “You’re forgiven,” smiled Silver, then gave Taoka a patient look. “Although, I should remind you…my name is Silver. I know it sounds a little similar to Sunshine, but I’d appreciate it if you could remember it next time.” “I’ll try,” Taoka said, through gritted teeth, as one of his temples throbbed. Silver did not notice the way the crab fumed as he smiled, bid a polite and sweetheart farewell, and then went off on his way to class again. He also didn’t catch the moment Taoka began to throw a tantrum, stomping his feet angrily behind him before kicking a wall…which he immediately regretted as the hard stones smarted his toes, and he found himself comedically bouncing around on one foot.

Another couple hours went by, Silver had no issues whatsoever. Once again, classes went by as usual, neither Taoka nor Eli tried to snatch the card from his pocket again in any sly way…he almost forgot he had the card on him. Then, as Silver was on his way to the last class of his day, he heard footsteps hurriedly coming down the hall. “Silver! Silver, hold on!” He turned around fast, and was surprised to see James Killian rushing down the hall to meet him, clearly in a state of apparent distress. “What’s the matter?” Silver asked, as James stopped before him, panting deeply, hands on his knees. “Are you alright, James?” “I’m fine, I’m just glad I’ve caught up with you,” James sighed with relief, and smiled thinly at Silver. “I was asked to deliver a message to you earlier, but I haven’t been able to find you! I’m so happy to finally get hold of you.” “What message?” Silver asked, cocking his head to the left. “Is it from Lilia? Or Malleus?” “Neither,” James said with a shake of his head, and then straightened up. “It’s actually from the Prefect. They asked me to take that playing card of theirs off your hands.” Silver’s eyes widened…then narrowed. “Did they really?” “Yes!” James smiled. “You see, I happen to be working with them on the project that card is for. I’m not allowed to say what it’s about, I’m afraid, but-” “Why didn’t the Prefect just come get it themselves?” Silver interrupted. “Why send you?” “Because Grim is having an appalling sneezing fit at Ramshackle,” James droned. “They and the ghosts are trying to make sure his infernal ‘achoo-ing’ won’t burn down the mansion.” Silver nodded slowly, processing that: it sounded plausible. He knew Grim had been sick lately. “Well…if what you say is true, I can give you the card, but-” “You’re worried I would lie to a friend?” James checked, giving the best impression of puppy dog eyes he could manage. Silver smiled gently and apologetically. “It’s not that, exactly, just…I DID promise the Prefect that I’d be the one to bring it to them. I’d feel a lot better if I could be CERTAIN it would reach them without my help.” James hummed thoughtfully, putting a finger to his chin as he closed his eyes. “Yes,” he murmured. “I do understand your dilemna…if only there was a way you could check…” His eyes shot open and he grinned. “Check! THAT’S IT!” he cheered, snapping his fingers, and then bowed to Silver. “Here I shall give ye me solemn word, Silver: I believe you were told you had to get the card to the Prefect by sundown, unharmed, yes?”

“Yes,” Silver conceded, looking suspicious. “But how did you-?” “The Prefect told me,” James dismissed. “I’ll make you a deal: why don’t you stop by Ramshackle this evening, after you finish your last class. I will be there, with the Prefect, and if they do not have the very same card with them, undamaged…well. Then you may report me as you see fit. And if I am caught in such a precarious state, I will neither protest nor fight against any consequences I have to go through. It’s simple, isn’t it? Either I’m there, with them and the card, or I’m not.” Silver thought about this proposition. To be honest, while some might say it was much too easy…it seemed fair enough. If James broke his promise, he’d know immediately. And if he knew who had taken something another schoolmate needed, then James could immediately be investigated against. “I would advise you to decide quickly,” James urged, indicating a nearby clock. “I know you only have a little time till class begins.” Silver hummed as he mulled over the offer…then nodded. “Alright,” he agreed, and held up a finger. “BUT. Remember this: the Prefect is not only my friend, but the friend of Malleus. If you ARE lying, if you DO take this card and do something with it without their permission, I WILL come after you, and so will the rest of Diasomnia. Breaking the trust of a friend is something none of us will ever permit. I don’t say this to threaten you, simply to warn you of the consequences.” “Most deeply understood,” intoned James, with a respectful bow of his head. “I give you my word: this card will find its way into the hands of the Prefect, thoroughly unsullied, by sundown if not sooner. And I will obligingly wait at Ramshackle Dorm for you to check in to make sure our bargain is kept.” “Good,” smiled Silver, and removed the card from his pocket before giving it to James. “There you go. Be careful with it.” “I shall indeed,” James promised, and inspected the Ace of Hearts briefly before placing it in his own coat pocket. He bowed again. “Good day, Silver. See you this evening.” Silver bid James farewell, and the two parted ways. As they walked off in different directions, James cackled to himself and twirled his cane, a spritely spring in his step.

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“Like taking candy from a baby!” James Killian crowed. “Really, that was too easy!”

Silver gaped, looking rather bewildered at the gathering before him. Ruggie was laughing like a madman in one corner of the room, while James was standing on a couch, holding the Ace of Hearts he’d been given high over his head. Elias and Taoka were each shouting at him as they jumped up and down to try and snatch it away.

All the while, you were in your favorite chair, pinching your brow, praying for the Gods to give you strength.

“YOU CHEATED!” Taoka screamed. “YOU ABSOLUTELY CHEATED!”

“Cheated? I?!” James gasped, placing a hand to his chest. “You dare to impugn me honor, sir?!”

“The rules stated you couldn’t ask for help!” Elias growled. “You BROKE them!”

“Did I?” James crooned, oh-so-innocently, then looked over at you. “Prefect!”

You opened one eye and peeked between your fingers. “Yes?” you groaned, half-muffled by your own hand. “As I recall, the EXACT wording of the rules was we could not ask others who weren’t involved for help…” “Right,” you confirmed, droningly. “...And we also could not tell others who didn’t know about the contest’s details…well…the details! Am I right again?” “You are.” “Well,” grinned James, waving the card playfully. “I never once told Silver what this little card was for, exactly. Simply told him what he ALREADY knew: that it was for a special project. I also told him I was involved in that project: this was not a lie, and it gave no indication what the project was. As he held the card KNOWINGLY in his possession, and was totally and completely AWARE of the fact he had to hand it in for this ‘project,’ he was already quite involved! Indeed, as I recall, the Prefect flat-out stated that they had ‘involved another party!’ Be not all of this correct?” “Every word,” you begrudgingly agreed. “So there!” James laughed with a grand gesture, pointing at you with his cane as he smiled mockingly down at Elias and Taoka. “I have broken no rules at all, I have brought the card here, it is undamaged, it was given to me under what were not the most honest pretenses, which I would classify as stealing…and to top it all off…” He looked towards Silver. “...You’ll see that I have kept my word. The sundown is arriving, and this card…” James hopped down from his seat and bowed theatrically as he handed the Ace of Hearts to you. “...Is safely and securely in the Prefect’s oh-so-lovely hands. Let it never be said James Killian would break a promise!” You mouthed the words “thank you” as you took the card from him with a wry smile. Taoka and Eli looked over at Ruggie desperately, clearly hoping he’d intervene. The hyena was still giggling fit to burst, covering up his laugh with one fist as his other hand clutched his belly. “I think he’s got you both dead to rights,” he snickered. “Great way to find a loophole, James! Shishishishi!” “Several loopholes, thank you,” James smirked with a slight sniff, fluffing up his jacket lapels as he held his head high and proud. “They are among my specialties.” Silver had watched all of this with a completely flummoxed expression. Finally, his eyes turned almost pleadingly onto your own face. “I’m…a bit lost,” he finally said, realizing he had a chance to talk. “Have I been fooled? Did…did I let you down?” Noting the deep worry and sadness in his voice at those last words, you shook your head, stood up, and crossed the room to place a hand on Silver’s shoulder.

“Not at all,” you promised him, solemnly, and smiled up at him. “Kind of the opposite, actually. I got what I needed, and the project I told you about is still going well. Thank you for your help, Silver. I promise, I’ll tell you everything soon, and you’ll understand better then.” Silver still looked VERY befuddled, but he seemed to accept your answer. He smiled tenderly, and bowed his head respectfully. “Well…if you say so, then I’ll take my leave,” he said. “I’m still not exactly sure what all this was about, or what just happened, but…if you say I helped, then you are welcome for it.” “Thank you again,” you nodded back. “Now go on and get back to your dorm; Elias will be there soon, too. And please try not to fall asleep on the way there, okay? I don’t want Sebek roaring down my front door trying to figure out where you’ve gone.” Silver yawned heavily, but said he’d try not to. Then, he departed. Sighing heavily, you turned back to the room, clapping your hands together to get everyone’s attention. Eli and Taoka were pouting where they sat like spoiled brats. James, meanwhile, looked like a proud teacher’s pet. Ruggie was still biting his lip, shoulders shaking with barely-repressed laughter. “Well!” you finally said, in your best “announcer” voice. “With that out of the way, all three of you are tied! There’s only one test left to go, and one card left to gather: the Ace of Spades. Whoever picks that up will be the champion.” “What’s the final problem?” Elias asked. “It better be worth all this,” grunted Taoka. “You’ll find that out tomorrow,” Ruggie interjected, and smirked as he jabbed a thumb towards his chest. “A certain someone - who will remain anonymous, but happens to be incredibly smart, good-looking, and has a name that rhymes with ‘Muggy’ - has to get the last challenge ready first.” “That will be dealt with by morning,” you agreed. “Tomorrow, show up here at ten in the morning to get your instructions. Then we’ll see who wins the whole thing.” “Might as well throw in the towel, gentlemen!” grinned James as he swaggered out of the room. “I warned you from the start…!” “Oh, don’t start with us!” snapped Elias. “Who won the first challenge to begin with?! This game WILL go to the Phantom Blot, mark my words!” “Ha! I think you’ll both be left eatin’ dust after I dazzle ya with what I’ve got!” Taoka taunted. “Tomorrow’s MY day, wait and see!” The three were still snapping at each other like jackals as they finally left the manor. You sighed and sank back into your chair again. Ruggie gave you a smirk as he lay on his belly upon the loveseat. His tail wagged, his legs kicked above him, and he rested his chin on his arms in the armest. “Well? Not going so well, is it?” he teased. “That depends on perspective,” you said, coolly. “Yeah, and my perspective is it ain’t!” Ruggie jeered. “Shishishishi! I mean, they’re all tied up, and clearly they aren’t getting along at all! All you’re gonna do by the end of this is earn MORE arguments, now!” “Not necessarily,” you smiled. “I have a feeling this final challenge will really turn the tables. You sure you’re up to the challenge of getting it set up?” “Psh. Getting set up is gonna be easy-peasy,” Ruggie shrugged. “They’re the ones doin’ the REAL hard work, not me. I better be gettin’ that special reward, still, though!”

“You will,” you vowed. “Tomorrow, after you set things up, you’ll get what I promised you…” “My stomach is already excited,” Ruggie said, mouth watering even now. “...And we’ll see if my plan works at all,” you added, then murmured to yourself, “Or if they end up killing each other…at this point, anything is possible…”

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The following morning, at ten ‘o clok sharp, the three thieves arrived at Ramshackle Dorm. Elias rang the doorbell. James knocked with his cane. Taoka peered through the glass. When they realized no one was coming to answer the door - not yourself, not Ruggie Bucchi, not even the ill Grim or any of the happy haunts - they checked the knob. Finding that door was surprisingly unlocked, all three carefully crept into the old, eerie house, and headed towards the lounge. The lounge, too, they found empty. No food. No drinks. And certainly no sign of their judge or co-conspirator. “Okay…now this is gettin’ kinda creepy,” mumbled Taoka. “They DID say ten o’ clock, didn’t they?” Elias wondered. “They did,” confirmed James…then pointed with his cane as he noticed something. “I believe the solution to our present predicament may rest there.” Laying upon the chair where you usually sat was a plain white envelope. It was sealed with red wax. The three bandits looked at each other, then approached the seat. Taoka picked up the envelope and cautiously undid it. He pulled out the folded piece of paper within…then grimaced, agitated, as Elias snatched it up and read the message aloud… “The final task,” the letter read, “Will be solved in the room of the most difficult yet careless person to steal from in the entire school. Better try to get ahead. You are to meet me and Ruggie at a rendezvous point, which I will list at the bottom of this message. The first to bring me the Ace of Spades wins. Your time starts now.” “The most difficult yet careless person to steal from?” murmured James. “Now, who on Earth could that be?” “I can think of several people who’d be hard to steal from, but they ain’t that careless,” Taoka said. “The same goes in reverse, actually: I can think of lots of careless idiots, but they’d be pretty easy to rob.” “You don’t think they mean Silver again?” James suggested. “No, I doubt it,” Eli said, shaking his head. “The Prefect has too good a head on their shoulders to try the same person twice in a-” He paused. His eyes widened. “Oh,” he whispered. “I don’t like the sound of that,” gulped Taoka. “Do you think you know who it is?” James inquired. “Yes,” Elias nodded, and looked at each of them as he lowered the message and pointed to the typed words upon it. “‘Better get ahead.’ I think it’s a pun.” “But we’re not stealing someone’s head! Just a playing card!” frowned Taoka. “That’s not the gag,” sighed Elias, exhaustedly. “Think about it: who is ‘a head’ at this school that is both careless and yet hard to rob? Somebody who is in charge, but isn’t very responsible, and yet would be really difficult to steal from?” It took a few moments for Killian and Latronis to recognize what Inque was hinting at. When they did, each groaned… “Oh, they’ve gotta be kidding,” snorted Taoka. “Odds, bobs, hammer and tongs, that’s asking too much!” James complained. “Not if I’m reading this letter correctly,” Elias said. “If I’m right, my fellow thieves…then our final target is the Headmage himself: Dire Crowley.” “You don’t have to say every other line like a cliffhanger, y’know,” Taoka muttered, crossing his arms huffily.

The half-dog merely growled with irritation.

“Perhaps you’ll be less quick to criticize me when I use my power to slip into his desk unnoticed,” he slithered.

“How ya gonna do that?” snorted Taoka. “The Headmage doesn’t hold Special Lessons today, which means he’s gonna be in that office most of the day sorting out paperwork. Plus, you don’t know where in or on the desk they’ve stowed the card!” “Oh, indeed?” huffed Elias. “Well, I don’t suppose YOU’VE got any ‘bright’ ideas, flashy-pants? Distracting him with YOUR Unique Magic will be way too obvious, and you don’t know where the card is, either!” Taoka opened his mouth to snap something back…when suddenly James broke into the conversation. “BRIMSTONE AND GALL! SILENCE, YE FOOLS!” he roared…but not with anger. His face was split into a wide, scheming smile. “You’ll break me concentration. I see the way to do it!” “And why should we let you plan things out and get ahead of us?” sneered Taoka. “I’m not planning things out for myself!” protested James…then paused and thought for a second. “Well…alright, maybe I’m doing it A LITTLE for myself, but…the truth is, I can’t think of a way I could get to it on my own, either. But then, maybe I don’t have to! Maybe none of us have to!” Taoka and Eli looked at each other, then back at James, their noses crinkled slightly. “I don’t understand what you’re getting it,” the self-proclaimed Phantom Blot said slowly. “You know we can’t ask others for help.” “Not entirely true,” James said, lifting one finger in emphasis and waggling it about as he winked, a sneaky gleam in his chocolate-hued eyes. “I’ll remind you again, as I reminded you after the previous test: the rules specifically dictated we couldn’t ask others who weren’t involved for help. But I’d say all three of us, without a single shred of stretching the truth, certainly count as involved. Wouldn’t you agree?” “Whoa, whoa, time out!” Taoka interjected, gesturing with his hands. “Are you suggesting that we…work together?” James nodded, still grinning. “And how would that benefit any of us?” Elias demanded to know, crossing his arms and arching one eyebrow. “Yeah, unless you wanna tussle over the card after we get it,” Taoka snorted. James shrugged. “I thought we might cross that bridge after we reached it,” he replied. Taoka and Elias still looked skeptical. “Look,” James said, placing his hands together and taking a patience-seeking breath before he went on: “Each of us wants to prove the same thing. Each of us wants to get the same thing. But I think each of us feels there’s no easy way to manage this without at least one other person’s help. And as there’s nobody else we can rely on…the best thing to do is to rely on each other. Just this once. I’d much rather pool our respective assets than scramble about and have none of us succeed at all. So…” He held out one hand. “...Shake hands?” The crab and the dog looked down at James’ hand, then back up at him, with bored looks. Each had heard of James’ Unique Magic. They weren’t shaking his tattooed hand. “Oh. Apologies,” chuckled James with embarrassment, and promptly switched hands. “Old habits. Anyway…a truce?” This time, there was (somewhat) less hesitation. First, Elias shook Killian’s hand, then Taoka, and then the two shook hands with each other to make up the difference. “Truce,” agreed Eli with a nod. “We’ll work together to sort out this final problem.” “I don’t suppose you’ve got any ideas of how to do this, do ya, fishsticks?” Taoka guessed. “As a matter of fact,” smirked James, “I just might…”

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Headmaster Crowley of Night Raven College sighed past dark-painted lips, his eyes narrowed in irritation behind his crow-like mask. Two fingers pinched his brow in the space between his top hat and the mask, as his other hand busily scratched away with an old-fashioned quill pen across pieces of paper. “Bills, bills, and - what a shock - more bills,” he grumbled to himself, rustling through it all with another heavy sigh. “And they wonder why I worry so much about funding for this place…oh! Would you look at that? An extra fee! Why in the name of Chernabog do we need to pay an extra fee FOR THE WINDOWS?! I swear to-!” A sudden knock at the door caused Crowley to jump and yelp almost comically as he was disturbed from his thoughts. He cursed beneath his breath as he dropped a couple of papers in the process. As he picked them up hastily, he heard a voice call out from beyond the door… “Headmage! Are you busy? May I come in?” “Yes, yes, by all means! Just one moment!” Crowley called back, eager for something, ANYTHING to distract him from the unfathomable horrors of paperwork and taxes. He sorted the papers back into place, straightened himself up, and adopted his best “proper and businesslike dean” pose before clearing his throat. “Ahem…there now. Please, come in!” The door opened. Crowley recognized the student who approached immediately from their gold-topped cane and purple bandana. “Mr. Killian!” he greeted. “How may I be of assistance?” “Oh, it’s nothing of great issue, Headmage, I assure you,” James replied, with a bow as obsequious as his vocal tone, and approached the desk. “I simply wanted to ask if you’d looked over my recent proposition.” Crowley blinked three times fast. His face was an absolute blank. There was absolutely nothing going on behind those masked eyes. James bit back a bit of his own personal aggravation and patiently reminded the head of the college: “I sent in an official proposition for a new club here at the school. The sailing club, you may recall?” “Oh! Of course!” exclaimed Dire Crowley, snapping his fingers as he was reminded at last. “My apologies, Mr. Killian: the rigors of my job have made it difficult for me to focus on extracurricular matters lately.” “More than understandable, Headmage,” James said, smoothly, and asked to be seated. Once he was given permission, he sat down before the desk. He glanced over the top of it quickly; he saw no sign of the Ace of Spades.

It was either inside or under the desk then. He casually, but firmly, tapped his cane on the floor… “Not quite so hard,” the Headmage warned. “The carpet has just been cleaned.” “Sorry!” James chirped, and lifted his cane up to rest in his lap. “Now, do you have any idea when you may get a chance to look over my proposition, sir?” Crowley paused, then folded his hands before him as he shifted in his seat. “To tell you the truth, Mr. Killian, most clubs at this school run by their own rules. Which is to say, while your proposition for an official club is appreciated…you by no means require MY certificate of approval to get it running. What you really need is a good idea of what this club will be about, and then to find if there are any students interested. My approval is only required if the facilities need help from a person in authority.” James nodded. Silently, he knew this. He’d actually given up on Crowley getting around to his proposition at all, and was ready to simply begin with whatever and whoever he could find: if the Gargoyle Club, for instance, could involve all of one single person, then he hardly needed more people than Smitty and himself. However, none of this was the real reason he was there. So, he kept talking to the Headmage - “I know, sir, but I feel an official statement would be useful…” - as he waited for the rest of the scheme to go into action… Meanwhile, up on the roof, at the top of the tower where Crowley’s office stood, six strong, crustaceous, sharp-tipped legs gripped tightly to the steep slope. Taoka Latronis shuddered and groaned till his shell rattled, as he waited impatiently in his true form as a crab-taur. His antennae twitched as his pincers helped to grip the roof and ensure he wouldn’t fall. He whined and trembled as the wind whistled through the gaps in his armor. “Oooooooogh…don’t look down…don’t look down…Gods, I’m gonna be sick,” he groaned, turning a bit green in the proverbial gills as he felt waves of something like vertigo rolling through him. “I’m not supposed to be this high up, how did I let them talk me into this…?!” He was distracted from his fear when he heard the signal: keen senses picked up the sound of James’ cane thumping on the floor of the office within. That was Taoka’s cue. He took a deep breath, muttering to himself - “Whew…okay, okay, you got this, yooouuu got this…” - and began to steadily, cautiously, carefully creep across the roof on his decapod legs, moving closer and closer to the edge and to the windows below. When he had gotten far enough, Taoka very, VERY carefully - for both the sake of stealth and his own precarious safety - reached down to place one hand near the window pane. Crowley, inside, was still too busy chatting with James to notice anything, and had not heard the sound of the tip-tapping claws atop his roof. This was the moment both Killian and Latronis had counted on. James’ eyes briefly caught a glimpse of Taoka’s hand reaching down, and counted silently in his head… Three…two…one… ZAM!

Dire Crowley - in the middle of a spiel about costs - suddenly cried out as there was a vibrant flash of yellow light that sparked through the room and blinded him. It seemed as bright as the Sun, if not brighter! He shielded his eyes, as his vision became blurry. James had timed things perfectly. He had shut his eyes quickly and tightly in the split-second before the flash went off. For added protection, he’d covered them with his bandana. As soon as he felt the glow dissipate, he uncovered and opened them up again, and then quickly got up from his chair. “Headmage!” he exclaimed. “Are you alright? What’s the matter?” “You…you didn’t see?” Crowley gasped, trying to scrub at his eyes through his mask. “See what?” James asked, feigning thorough innocence. “The light!” Crowledy sputtered. “It…it nearly blinded me!” James looked concerned and let out a thoughtful hum. “I think perhaps you’ve been overworking, sir,” he said, and approached Crowley. “Perhaps we should see about getting you to the infirmary, if your eyes are in such bad shape.” Crowley began to stutter and stammer about how that wasn’t necessary, but it was too late. James was quickly ushering him out of his own office and towards the nursing area of the castle. As he did so, Taoka very steadily began clamber down the side of the tower, scaling the walls as he descended in his appropriately crablike way. While both Killian and Latronis retreated, the last member of the party made his move. Out of a nearby air vent - just as had been the case with the very first challenge - a slithering rope of ink came swirling out and made its way towards the Headmage’s desk. The owner soon found the card: it was taped to the bottom of Crowley’s desk. The inky appendage snatched it up - this time without leaving a calling card of his own in place - and dragged it back through the slats, leaving the room empty. The final challenge had been completed.

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“UUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRUUUUP!” “Excuse you.” “Heh…oh, c’mon, you know you love that - URP! - sound.” You blushed, unable to deny this, as you nibbled a sandwich mousily in the restaurant in Port Town where you had arranged to rendezvous with the rest of those involved in the great contest. It was the same fine establishment Jack Howl and others had managed to rescue at the first Port Fest NRC joined in. Ruggie knew it well. This did nothing to curb his enthusiasm as he stuffed his face with an assortment of doughnuts you had purchased, licking off specks of honey glaze and powdered sugar from his lips before his jagged teeth tore into another baked delight as he scarfed them down like a famine was coming on. Another empty box stood near him…and a third, yet-to-be-opened box rested at his other side. “I’ve gotta give you credit, Prefect!” he sputtered through a full mouth, spitting out speckles of food between chews…then swallowed down his mouthful and licked his teeth clean before continuing: “When you settle a debt, you REALLY know how to do it!” “When I remember how to stop blushing for five seconds, I’ll say you’re welcome,” you muttered, half to Ruggie and half to yourself, as you watched him wolf down his food. Ruggie snickered in response as he shoved an entire chocolate eclair into his mouth. His eyes rolled and he moaned as he savored the sweet, creamy goodness that flowed over his tastebuds and filled his cheeks. He swallowed it loudly, then grimaced and thumped his chest before letting out a hiccuping burp. “HIC-URLCH! Oof…that one didn’t go down so smooth,” he mumbled, and sipped on a bit of soda he’d ordered himself to help wash the masticated goodness down. You had to hold back the urge to squeak, saying nothing. You were almost grateful when you heard the ting-a-ling of the entrance bell, and then rapid footsteps approaching the table. You knew who it had to be before they even got there. A glimmer of satisfaction flickered inside of you as you saw Ruggie freeze with a look of absolute amazement, the last doughnut of the second box halfway to his mouth. “WE GOT IT! WE GOT IT!” a chorus of three voices cheered, as they raced over to you. “Hey, hey, keep your voices down!” you giggled, as the trio of thieves approached you, each with beaming, excited faces. They looked like a triumphant bunch of schoolkids after a baseball match. You held out one hand, and Elias bowed theatrically before flipping the Ace of Spades out of his sleeve and handing it to you. You briefly inspected it, then offered it to Ruggie; Bucchi took a second to wipe his fingers clean and then plucked it from your own fingertips. “Yep,” he nodded in confirmation, when he sensed the marking spell he’d placed on the item. “This is the one! Great job, Elias!” “Oh, I can’t take complete credit, as much as I wish I could,” Eli confessed, and gestured to where Taoka and James stood on either side of him, each with their chests puffed out in a show of pride. “I was the one who snatched up the card…but I couldn’t have done it if these two hadn’t provided the distraction.” “Isn’t that how things worked with Azul?” Ruggie pointed out. “Not exactly, my good fellow!” James corrected. “With Azul, there was no cooperation at all. But then I remembered how well that HAD gone for our Phantom friend…” “...And how well my light had worked in the lab,” Taoka put in. “...And we figured we could all work together to use the same method to get the final prize,” Elias finished. Ruggie stared…then, he started to laugh so hard he nearly fell out of his chair. “OH!” he gasped out between cackles. “OH - HA HA HA HA HA - I GET IT! I FINALLY GET IT! OH, THAT WAS THE PLAN ALL ALONG! HA HA HA! OH, THAT’S INCREDIBLE, THEY ACTUALLY FELL FOR IT! HA HA HEE HEE HEE HEE HA!”

All three thieves were rather taken aback by his sudden show of mirth as he wiped tears from his eyes and clutched his stuffed belly. They saw you looking up at them, clearly holding back giggles of your own, and frowned. “What’s so funny?” all three asked at once. You couldn’t hold back the giggles anymore, but you still managed to answer. “Don’t you see?” you told them. “None of you won! And none of you lost. You all got the last card together, so none of you can take the final prize as your own! And with each of you having one card to their name apiece…” “IT’S A TIE!” Ruggie cackled. “NONE OF YOU ARE BETTER THAN THE OTHERS!” All three of them - the scavenging crab, the scarlet pirate, and the phantom thief - looked so distraught at this news, it only made things funnier. You finally managed to calm down your own peals of laughter before standing and looking seriously at them. “Don’t you three see?” you urged. “You ALL are great at what you do. You all know how to use your own skills to your advantage, and all of you have a lot of practice at finding ways to get the job done. Whether it’s in thievery or theatre, singing or stealing, boating or burglary…all three of you are among the best! What’s the point in fighting over it to begin with? You can do so much more and get along so much better by simply realizing you are EQUALS.” The trio squirmed where they stood, your words clearly affecting them. They almost seemed shamefaced as they glanced at one another. “You know,” Taoka finally spoke up. “They’ve got a point. I mean…I’ve had a lot of experience picking pockets, and my light makes for a great distraction…but I don’t have a silver tongue like the Little Codfish does.” “That’s very true,” James smirked, then paused before adding, “Having said that, both of you have signature spells that give you a decided advantage. Without my ability to persuade and find loopholes, I’m at a decided loss.” “And for as much as I can play things up and use my ink to slip into tight spaces, I’m helpless if I’m caught and don’t have a good alibi,” Elias admitted with a shrug, and chuckled. “Heh…I guess you guys really are great thieves. More than a match for the Phantom Blot.” “And you are each worthy opponents,” James agreed, and bowed. “It has been an honor to compete against you, gentlemen.” “Yeah,” Taoka nodded, with a warmer sort of smile than usual, a look bordering on affection in his eyes. “You guys ain’t half bad. I’ll admit it.” You smiled triumphantly as the three shared amiable, friendly smiles, and looked over at Ruggie as if to say, See? Told you so. Ruggie just rolled his eyes and sipped more of his fizzy orange soda. “In fact,” Taoka went on, “I think the three of us could be onto something with this!”

Confused, you turned back towards the trio. Their smiles had gone from warm and friendly to snakish and sly. “Uh…wh-what do you mean by that?” you stammered. “Well, isn’t it obvious?” Taoka chuckled. “If the three of us are able to match each other’s strengths and weaknesses…” “Ohhhhh…then think of all the things we could steal working together, instead of apart!” grinned James, rubbing his hands together with glee. “Ha! I was just considering the same thing!” Elias barked out, and adjusted his glasses with a sinister grin. “Why…we’d be next to unstoppable!” “Not a single security officer could ever snag us!” James cheered. “Why, it’s BRILLIANT!” “Ohhh, all the shiny things we could take from Pomefiore!” Taoka cackled. “Not to mention from any museum we visited, or any bank we had to stop by, or any food stall we wished!” “Right!” Elias said, and held out his hand. “Let’s make a pact, comrades! From this point on, instead of rivals, we shall be partners in crime! ALL SHALL BOW BEFORE TEAM BLOT!” “We’ll work on the name, babe,” droned Taoka, but he held out his hand anyway. “Still…yeah! Partners in crime!” “Here here!” crowed James in agreement, as he put his hand in and the three whooped and laughed as they broke it up like a team before a football match. “Come, shipmates! There’s a tune in my soul, and fine seas ahead for us all! Let us plot!” And the three sauntered off and out of the restaurant, with James leading them in a merry shanty - “Hey-Ho! Imagine the places that we’ll go! No one will stop us, so one, two, three! They will all cower in fear…!” - and disappeared. You gulped anxiously, your expression having changed from joy to despair as you looked back at Ruggie. Bucchi just grinned teasingly, wagging his tail. “I wanted them to get along.” “Uh-huh. I know you did.” “So that I wouldn’t have more to worry about.” “Yep-yep. I know that’s why.” “...I just…gave myself even more to worry about instead…didn’t I?” “Hmmm…maaaaybe,” Ruggie sang with a wink. “Seems like your plan worked a little too well.” “Oh, gee. Ya think?” Ruggie snickered and threw his hands up. “Shishishishi! Hey, what can we say? That’s just the Night Raven College Spirit, Prefect,” he said, as he flipped open the third box of doughnuts and pulled a cruller from the collection. “Take what you can…” He bit into the doughnut, ripping it in half before finishing: “...Give nothing back.” All you could do was groan and sigh as you let your head fall into your hands. “I hate this place sometimes,” you mumbled. Not even the sound of another mocking belch from Ruggie could brighten your mood, at that point. Sometimes, contest or no contest…you just couldn’t win.