#taoka

“Ahhh, did'ja hear that crowd, babe? They absolutely LOVED me!” Taoka Latronis exclaimed confidently as he folded his arms behind his head with a confident smile across his handsome face as he rested his eyes shut contently. You smirked and nudged him softly as you walked closely besides him and assured him that he was magnificent, as always. Taoka cracked one eye open slightly as he glanced back at you and smirked cockily, teasing those pearly white fangs of his. “Course I was. Magnificence is my middle name after all, babe.”

You rolled your eyes and joked that of Taoka had a middle name, it would be 'Crabby Pants.'

Taoka snorted and nudged you back. “Not yer best dig, ain't gonna lie. Heh, must still be awestruck'uh my talents, eh?”

You simply chuckled and conceded that you must be.

As the two of you continued walking, however, suddenly, a rather loud rumble bellowed throughout the hallway of Octavinelle. Taoka winced and rested his ungloved hand against his lean stomach, rubbing it firmly as it continued rumbling up a storm. “Mph, damn, did ya hear that? I'm starvin'...”

Your cheeks reddened a bit as you listened to your boyfriend's middle rumbling away hungrily. Naturally, you joked that there's no way the greedy crab would ever skip out on a meal.

“Tch, s'my new rule, babe. Never eat anythin' before a show,” Taoka's tanned cheeks reddened somewhat as he glanced away and in a more uncharacteristically pouty sort of way, added, “...already made that mistake once...do not need a repeat...”

Again, your cheeks reddened at that memory, biting your lip as you remarked that you certainly didn't mind. Jokingly, you added that half the shred metal where you come from sounds like the singers burping into the mic anyway.

“Yeah, but they ain't LITERALLY doin' it, are they,” Taoka swiped back, before managing a sly smirk back at you and leaning closer. “Buuuut who knows? With a good meal in my belly, I might just give you an encore...'specially with a meal as fillin' as you are, babe...” He looked you over with a hungry look in his gorgeous eyes and slowly ran his tongue across his fangs in a way that made you weak in the knees. “Whadduya say? Care t'satiate my hunger?”

Tugging at your collar a bit, you felt yourself sweat at that predatory teasing of his. Still, you composed yourself and gently rested your hand against Taoka's lean stomach and slowly caressed it up and down, adding that you already planned to, and that if he eats you, he'll miss out on his real reward.

Taoka cocked a brow and tilted his head. “Oh?”

Then of course, upon arriving back at his dorm room, his eyes nearly bugged out of his skull.

“...Oh.”

Spread across the coffee table was a whole slew of dishes you'd ordered from the Monstro Lounge during the live show, all of Taoka's favorite dishes, and a whole bunch of 'em to boot.

Being the lover of a gluttonous young rockstar with about as much self control as a pig before a troff, you'd long since come to know that whenever it was dinner time, Taoka was going to eat enough to feed at least half a dozen students, and likely beyond. Granted, that was kind of the norm with EVERY student in NRC, but hey, details...

“Hooooly crabby crap, you really went all out, didn'tcha, babe...” Taoka mused in awe, before clearing his throat and managing that trademark cocky smirk of his as he added, “...nothin' but the finest fer the finest, amirite?”

Again, you rolled your eyes and nudged him playfully before the two of you sat down at the couch. You remarked that after the show, a bit of a treat would be in order for Taoka knocking it out of the park.

He smirked back at you as he grabbed his first takeout box and said, “Heh, y'were that confident I'd dazzle the crowd? Eh, can't say I blame ya. Hard NOT t'be dazzled by yers truly, ain't it...”

You conceded the point, but added that was mostly because his getup could blind an entire concert hall.

“Oi! It's called 'fashion', thank you very much. Ain't my fault most'uh you, beyond Vil, got the fashion sense of a mannequin,” Taoka insisted as he stuck his nose up at you rather petulantly, before his stomach rumbled almost impatiently. He grimaced and palmed his firm, trim gut, adding, “Alright, alright, jeez..so impatient...” But once he opened that first box and found fried, simmering fish with coconut sauce and lemon awaiting him, Taoka's maw instantly started watering.

You would've said 'bon appetite', but before you could even finish saying 'bon', Taoka was already ravenously gorging himself on that first dish. Taoka groaned at the delicious flavors as he chewed heartily, shoveling more and more fish into his maw and groaning some more at the sheer deliciousness treating his taste buds. After seconds of his fangs pulverizing that ample mouthful of meat, Taoka dipped his head back and gave a thick, hearty gulp. You watched with rapt focus as a sizable lump traversed down Taoka's slender throat with a wet squelch. He rested his gloved finger against it and followed the lump as it vanished past his collarbone and left him huffing contently.

Without wasting another second, he helped himself to another dish, eagerly and voraciously scarfing down its contents like famine was fast approaching. As he gorged himself, he smirked back at you, eyeing you as he watched you watching him stuff his face. “Enjoyin' the show, babe?” he asked in a flirtatiously teasing manner.

You blushed and remarked that he knew full well that you were.

Taoka's grin widened at that, once again baring his fangs a bit. He then grabbed an especially sizable piece of fried tempura, one meant to be cut up into smaller pieces. Instead, Taoka dangled it over his maw and slowly pushed the entire thing into his mouth. He chewed heartily, tugging you close to him as his fangs crunched down heavily against the fried fish. Then, Taoka gave an especially thick gulp, causing an even larger bulge to protrude from his neck, one which made him wince slightly as that big mouthful of tempura slowly descended down your boyfriend's gullet.

Unable to help yourself, you rested your fingers against the bulge in Taoka's neck and pressed into it slightly, as if forcing that lump down his throat manually. You both shuddered at the sensation as the bulge traveled further and further down his throat, with your fingers still pressed against it, until with one last wet gulp, it vanished behind his smooth, athletic chest and into his stomach. Taoka huffed heavily, his fish-scented breath wafting over you as you blushed furiously. He licked his lips clean and grinned back at you again, flashing you a teasing wink which made your spine tingle.

The aquatic, shapeshifting youth continued working his way through dish after dish, effortlessly packing away boxes that would've left you stuffed ages ago. All the while, as he packed it all away, your eyes wandered down to Taoka's stomach. His normally trim and concave midsection had long since flattened out early into his binge-eating. As time went on and more empty takeout boxes continued to pile up, however, Taoka's stomach steadily began to swell, starting with a delightfully curved out edge, until it began to grow more visibly rounded the more Taoka packed away. His almost tribal, crab-patterned shirt tightened around his middle, now, barely containing his belly the more bloated it became. On top of that, Taoka's stylish golden belt began to strain against the weight and heft of his growing gut too.

Even with his stomach bulging out by almost a dozen extra inches, still, Taoka continued wolfing down box after box of all the delectable seafood you'd picked out for him. His pace had certainly slowed down slightly, but the greedy young rockstar showed no signs of stopping any time soon. Taoka ate and ate, as his belly grew bigger and rounder with every takeout box of seafood that he consumed. You swallowed hard as you saw his shirt begin to lift up ever so slightly, almost teasing you as a tantalizing sliver of Taoka's bare, tanned stomach began to poke out from beneath his now-ill fitting shirt.

Smacking his lips a bit, Taoka seemed a bit parched, so you almost a little TOO eagerly snatched up a can of sparkling water for him. Taoka snorted to himself and took the can. “Hehe, man, yer hopeless, y'know that?” He said teasingly.

You insisted that you were no more shameless than he was...or virtually anyone else in NRC whose name wasn't Kalim.

Taoka shrugged, before popping the top of the can open, then bringing it to his lips and took a nice long drag. He pulled the can aside and smacked his lips again. “Ahh, brisk,” he insisted, before bringing it back up to his lips and properly slugging his beverage down. You watched his pronounced Adam's Apple bob in and out as; his throat pulsating as Taoka chugged his drink down at an impressive pace. Your heart raced in your chest, hearing the squelching of his throat muscles as all that fizzy liquid flowed down his gullet. Taoka moaned a little around his can as he chugged, both from how full he was clearly starting to get...aaaaand almost certainly, to rile you up further.

As Taoka chugged his drink down, his ungloved hand rested against his bulging belly, slowly stroking it as more of that carbonated beverage filled his already packed gut up. By the time he finished downing his drink, his stomach was looking slightly more inflated, due to the sheer volume of carbonation building up from downing so much so quickly.

Making it a point to flip the can over and shake it, revealing not a single drop remained, Taoka crushed the can, tossed it aside, and gulped down the remaining mouthful of sparkling water in his mouth. Taoka huffed breathlessly for but a moment...before wincing, grabbing his bulging belly with both hands, and letting loose an absolutely MONSTROUS belch! All that carbonation in Taoka's belly came rushing out of him all at once in one deafening eructation, one that rattled out of him for a few seconds straight, and made you flinch from its sheer might.

When it ended, Taoka gasped breathlessly, laughing in an equally breathless manner as he slapped his belly in satisfaction with an equally satisfying thumping sound to it. “Whew! Haaaah...guh, oh wow,” he started to say, before his voice trailed off. There was a brief look of strain before Taoka took a deep breath, and belched again. It wasn't nearly as explosive as that first, glorious monster, but it was still hefty-sounding, and rolled out of Taoka's maw for nearly six seconds straight. It morphed into a breathy groan of relief at the end, leaving him huffing for several seconds as his bulging belly rose and fell. “...Guhhh, oOoh man, that was a good one...” Taoka moaned as he stroked his belly up and down in a satisfied, teasing manner, before glancing back at you and flashing you another wink. “Yer welcome, by the by...”

You didn't even care how your face was even more red than Riddle at his angriest...that entire scene would replay in your head endlessly for years to come.

Sure enough, Taoka went back to stuffing himself on the remaining boxes of seafood. However, he was definitely starting to flag. His groaning was a little more exaggerated, leaving you unsure if he was hamming it up to rile you up further, or just really, REALLY full. Either way, your cheeks weren't getting any less rosy.

Eventually, Taoka slumped back against the couch, groaning as he massaged his big, weighty gut. It was now sticking out rather prominently by over a foot, and hiking up his shirt more and more until the bottom of his shirt was an inch or so below his bellybutton, as if to tease you. Taoka's hands kneaded into his tight-looking sides as he moaned all the while. “OoOooohhhh, babe...I'm really startin' t'feel it now...” Taoka moaned as he massaged his round, churning gut. He hiccuped loudly, and huffed, covering his mouth as he hiccuped again, jerking his entire torso and causing his bloated belly to burble some more. “Ugh...*HICCULP!*...woof...oohhh man, I'm stuffed...”

The aquatic teen in disguise hiccuped rather loudly again, huffing as he palmed his chest and gave another hiccup. Grimacing, he took a deep breath and pounded his chest a few more times with his fist, until a rather large, rumbling belch finally rolled out of his maw. It lasted a few seconds and ended in a relieved groan that left his tongue hanging from his maw not unlike a dog.

“Hahhh...better,” Taoka moaned, patting his belly contently and letting out a thick afterburp from the corner of his mouth.

Yeaaaaahhhh, your cheeks were going to be burning for a good hot minute...

Taoka tried to keep gorging himself, but you could definitely see that he was reaching his limits. His pace was much slower, he was groaning a bit more, and every so often, some rather thick belches would work their way out of his maw, and always end in a groan.

Still, you insisted that he only had a few more dishes left to eat. He moaned some more, this time in a more noticeably exaggerated manner, arching his back as he did so and not only making his belly stick out more, but hiking up his shirt enough to expose the bottom half of his shallow bellybutton. He didn't even need to look at you to see what that was doing to you, the cheeky little crab...

“Mmmm...I dunno, babe...I'm pretty packed to the brim...” Taoka groaned, slapping the side of his belly again in a showy manner, before adding, “...maybe if someone helped feed me the rest, I could manage...”

...Ohhhh, damn him to the furthest pit of hell...or...whatever the hell equivalent was for everyone in this realm...

Nonetheless, you were all too eager to assist. Grabbing one of the remaining boxes, you scooted even closer to Taoka and cracked it open. It was a box of coconut battered fried shrimps. You took one by the tail and held it towards Taoka's mouth, which opened up to eagerly accept the shrimp. After you stuck the shrimp into his mouth, he wrapped his lips shut around it, crunching away and swallowing it down effortlessly, before opening his maw wide for more.

Oh, he absolutely could've done this himself. This was just to twist your arm into helping rile you up further.

...As if you minded one bit...

You hand-fed Taoka more and more shrimp, shuddering at the way he groaned at you feeding him. As he chewed down a mouthful of shrimps, you finally took a moment to rest your free hand against Taoka's belly. Your knees were practically jelly by this point...

Taoka's gut was beautifully round, sticking out by well over a foot. His slight trace of muscles were nowhere to be found; abs perfectly smoothed out in his bloated state. You tugged his shirt up further, fully exposing his bellybutton and several inches above it. Taoka's round, tan belly was delectably smooth to the touch, and as taut as a drum. Experimentally, you pushed your fingertips into his tight flesh and could barely move it. There was damn near no give whatsoever to that overstuffed stomach.

Slowly, your hand began to run circles into the side of that tight, tanned ball of flesh. Even with how hard his bloat was, you nonetheless dug your fingertips into his skin as you kneaded Taoka's belly. The slick, purple-haired boy moaned in absolute splendor at that sensation, biting his lip as he swallowed that hefty mouthful of shrimps. You peeled your eyes away from his beautifully bloated belly to look up at his throat, once again watching as his gloved fingers traced the lump traveling down his throat. When it reached his belly, you could hear Taoka's stomach gurgle in response, churning so intensely that it bubbled with every addition adding to the growing mass festering inside of Taoka's glutted midsection.

You continued rubbing Taoka's belly with one hand while feeding him with the other. When you pushed more shrimps past his lips, Taoka lapped up the shrimps, but also ran his tongue across your fingers, making you shudder a bit. Grinning, Taoka grabbed your wrist and slowly ran his tongue across your hand, pulling your wrist into his maw slightly more, as if teasingly threatening to eat you...before innocently releasing his grip on your wrist and letting you pull your hand out.

“Mmmm, tasty,” Taoka said with his mouthful, grinning back at you as your mind struggled to comprehend if he was referring to the shrimps or YOU...

...Didn't help that you weren't quite sure which one you were hoping was the right answer...

“S'alright, babe, I know yer a flustered lil mess right now, and rest assured, I'll be more than happy t'fluster ya even f-rRRRMPH?!” The spiky-haired dope tried to keep teasing you, but mysteriously, several shrimps found their way into his mouth all at once. Huh, SURELY, you only meant to feed him a few and not an entire handful, didn't you? Oh well...

His cheeks bulged out rather humorously as he looked both surprised and a bit indignant, nonetheless, he grumbled rather petulantly and nonetheless chewed away. The crunching of those fried shrimp was notably louder than usual due to the sheer amount that you just crammed into his big mouth. There was so much that Taoka had to lean his head back so that gravity could assist him when he finally gulped that mouthful down, which he did with an especially thick, squelching...

*GLUUUUOOORRRLLLK!!!*

...Your eyes widened as you watched a rather thick bulge push down from the bottom of Taoka's jawline and slowly squeeze its way down his throat. Taoka looked a bit strained as he gulped down that ample mouthful, pushing his fingertips against the protrusion in his neck and pushing into it as he gave a few smaller gulps to help work that ample mouthful of shrimp down his gullet. It was like Taoka was swallowing a baseball whole with how thick that lump was...

...How many shrimps DID you shove into his craw anyway...?!

Not that it mattered. Thanks to Taoka's inhuman anatomy, the equally inhuman amount of food was able to work its way further and further down his throat, until with one last wet gulp, it squeezed past his collarbone and added to his already ample belly. Taoka's fingers followed that protrusion all the way down until his palm rested against his chest. After swallowing it down, he huffed breathlessly...

...Then winced as his head sank into his neck somewhat, before lurching forward with his maw gaping open as a HUGE belch blasted aggressively out of Taoka's maw. It rattled out of him so intensely that, for as tight as his gut was, you could feel the inside of his Taoka's weighty stomach reverberate from the sheer intensity of that eructation. When it ended, Taoka gasped breathlessly, looking both relieved but winded after getting that monster out. “Guhh...hooooly hell...” Taoka groaned out in a slightly hoarse tone of voice, before clenching his eyes shut and letting out a lengthy afterburp that left him moaning some more when it ended.

You quickly checked your nose to make sure it wasn't bleeding with how much blood was rushing to your face from that display.

Getting that out of his system, you were able to feed him the remaining boxes of food. Every tempura piece you hand fed him was met with him licking your palm and teasing you in that predatory manner of his, just to watch you squirm. All the while, you continued pampering that big, tanned belly as it grew bigger and rounder.

Eventually, every last scrap of food was finished up, and Taoka was left stuffed into a food-drunk stupor.

“Haahhh...hrraaaaahhhh...” the immensely bloated rockstar huffed and panted, overstuffed beyond belief. “...Gruuoorrgh...oohhh baby, I...am...STUFFED...” Taoka moaned out as he lazily patted his immense dome of a gut. He hiccuped quite loudly and groaned afterwards, sinking into the couch like a dazed ragdoll.

No longer needing to feed him, you now used both hands to work over every inch of that glorious tum. Up and down they slid, kneading into that drum-tight surface.

As you rubbed Taoka's belly, your hands traced down to his smooth, softer underbelly, stroking it from side to side and making Taoka shudder in pleasure. As you did, your fingers traced down towards his waist, working your fingers around the buckle of his belt. It was a struggle. Taoka was so damn bloated that his belly was pressing down firmly against that golden belt. But you knew he'd never stop whining if he burst that belt, glorious as that would've been, so you worked to undo it. It took some doing, but eventually, unbuckled his belt.

And like water breaching the hairline crack of a dam, Taoka's belly surged out freely by a few extra inches and unzipping his pants in the process. “GruoooOOOOohhhhh by the seven...” Taoka moaned out in a relieved daze, practically going crosseyed as his belly spilled out freely. He slumped back even more, making his gut stick out all the way for you.

You took in the sight of that immensely swollen ball of flesh. The sight of Taoka so utterly bloated and looking downright debauched was enough to make you lightheaded. Even in his food drunk state, Taoka managed to catch your obvious attraction and managed a sly, fang-filled smirk.

“Mrrahhh...like what'cha see, babe?” he asked, folding his arms behind his head and arching his back even more to make his belly jut forth even further.

You were too flustered to even retort. Oh, he had you right where he wanted you. Your hands eagerly roamed every inch of that ample, firm dome. Taoka groaned as your fingers ghosted up and down that overstuffed gut of his, kneading into the upper crest of his stomach and kneading circles into the sides of his gut, before sliding down his delectably tender underbelly.

Taoka bit his lower lip in delight, basking in the unbridled pampering you gave his large, churning middle. As you rubbed into it, you rested your head against his belly, pressing your ear against its surface, listening as Taoka's innards gurgled and bubbled intensely to try and break down such a vast meal.

“Mmmm...imaginin' yerself stirrin' around in there, babe? 'Cuz I'd be more than happy to arrange that for ya if y'ask me to,” Taoka remarked, still in his food-drunk haze as he grinned down at you and slowly ran his tongue across his fangs in an extra showy manner, making your spine tingle.

To even pretend that you weren't imagining yourself squirming in Taoka's big, warm belly, feeling the slick stomach lining squeezing all around you, would be a big fat lie. Instead, you nuzzled against Taoka's belly, shuddering at how it gurgled in your ears, and continued rubbing your palm against the center of Taoka's gut. Your finger traced around Taoka's shallow bellybutton, making the young shapeshifter moan a little more pleasurably, especially when you teasingly pushed your finger inside of his navel and kneaded around within it. He always had a pretty sensitive bellybutton, something you'd learned quite a bit the more you two dated.

You eventually pulled your finger out of his navel and gave the side of his gut a few hearty, possessive pats. Each pat had such a wonderfully satisfying thump to it, like thumping against a really ripe watermelon. The gurgling was still relentless, so as you rubbed, you once again started really pushing against Taoka's belly, trying to press your fingers as firmly against his gut as you could.

Taoka winced as his belly gave a rather ominous gurgle. “Mph, oOhhh wow, babe, there's a BIG one in there...” he groaned out as he grabbed your hand and guided it towards the center of his gut, just above his bellybutton. You eagerly pushed as firmly as you could against that portion of his ample stomach, which had no give whatsoever, but still, you pushed.

The gurgling intensified, making Taoka cringe, before a thick lump rose up his throat and caused his cheeks to puff out. For a moment, you feared that Taoka was about to be sick and that you were in the blast range.

Instead? Well...

“BWUUUUUUUUOOORRHHUUUUURRR-AAAAAAAAAAAHHUUUUURRRAAAAAAAAAAAAARPH!!!!!!”

A record-shatteringly COLOSSAL belch exploded from past Taoka's rippling lips...! All that air swallowed down from eating so fast and the sheer volume of gas built up from all this delicious, greasy seafood had created a monumental pocket of stomach gasses that came violently expelling from Taoka's gut all at once and this was the explosive result. The throat-destroying eructation could most definitely be heard from well beyond Taoka's dorm room as it blasted boorishly and loudly for almost eight uninterrupted seconds straight. What probably helped was the way you pushed on Taoka's belly as he burped to force as much of that gas out as humanly possible.

After what felt like an eternity (that you could have happily sat in forever), Taoka gasped heavily before slumping back; a panting, sweaty heap as his big, tight belly rose and fell with each labored and heavy breath he gave.

“Faahhhh...hhhaaaahhhhh...oOOoohhhh Chernabog, that was...” Taoka trailed off again, before throwing his head back, slapping his belly and letting another HUGE burp, almost just as loud, but nowhere near as long. He sighed heavily again, letting his tongue hang from his maw as he nearly went cross-eyed and slowly stroked his belly in a satisfied manner. After catching his breath, he said, “hhhhrraaaahhhhh...ooOooohhh that felt...amazin'...”

...SOUNDED amazing too...

With that pressure now expelled, you much more gently resumed rubbing his big, burbly belly in a more sensual and soothing manner. Taoka groaned pleasurably as he rested his eyes shut and let you pamper away.

“Mmmm...ya know, after gettin' that bad boy outta my poor tum-tum, I'd bet I could probably squeeze ya down fer dessert...” Taoka said in a still hoarse but teasing manner. He licked his lips hungrily at you and added, “How would ya like that, babe? A lot? Or a REAL lot?”

Blushy as you were...for a LOT of reasons, you simply rested your head against that bulbous belly and slowly caressed away. After a while of this, you remarked that you'd rather remain out here so you can tend to Taoka's big ol' tum-tum directly. Adding that if you were stirring away inside, you wouldn't be able to do this...

And by 'this', you, of course, meant plant a kiss just above Taoka's bellybutton.

Sure enough, when you looked up, that cocky smirk was wiped clean off of Taoka's face. Suddenly, it was HIS turn to go red-cheeked as he tugged at his golden blazer a bit and said, “...Err...y-yeah, I guess ya couldn't...jeez, i-is it warm all'uh the sudden or what...?”

You grinned and simply resumed rubbing away. Crabby dork never could take what he dished out...it was adorable, frankly...

As you rubbed, however, you smirked back and added that he really did do an amazing job at the show tonight.

Upon hearing that, he smirked a little more cockily again and said, “Pfft, as if there was any doubt?” His cocky smirk turned just EVER so slightly more sincere as he added, “...'Sides, when ya have a certain someone cheerin' ya on every step'uh the way? S'hard not t'rock out when yer feelin' like a star already, ya know?”

You smiled back and rested your head against his belly, lightly patting it as you nodded in agreement, before adding that he better not start calling you his “Groupie”.

Taoka laughed, then grinned down widely. “Awww, s'wrong with dat, babe? Ya know, there's a ton'uh perks t'bein' my groupie. Such as all these private shows I'm so generously givin' ya?”

You rolled your eyes, but still blushed as you kneaded the side of his stomach.

Then Taoka's stomach gurgled a bit more intensely, and he grinned even wider. “Plus, I can give ya a lil encore...”

You cocked a brow, but before you could ask what sort of 'encore' he was talking about, Taoka pounded his chest, leaned down, and knocked loose a ferocious belch right in your face...one that dragged for a few seconds straight and left him huffing breathlessly, before smacking his chops.

...Oh...

Taoka snickered, folding his arms behind his head again as he arched his back and said, “Ahhh, hehehe, yer just way too easy sometimes, y'know that” His grin turned positively devilish after that. “Tell ya what though. Gimme another one'uh those sparklin' waters'n I'll give ya a REAL show. Hehe, might even try burpin' out more lyrics again, juuuust fer you, babe...”

Taoka looked up and scowled, lips and nose curling and crinkling a bit as he looked the other person up and down. They were a little shorter than he was, though not exceptionally small in stature. Like him, they currently wore a school uniform, but the house they were marked as belonging to was Heartslabyul. Their eyes were the color of chocolate, and their long raven hair was partially kept by a purple bandana, wound about the top of their scalp. Unlike, Taoka, their right hand bore no glove, and was decorated in like fashion to the left (minus the tattoo). Perhaps the most notable thing, however, was that their arm they carried a rather extravagant looking cane, with a crooked gold top. The cane-and-tattoo-bearing fellow turned to look at Taoka, still holding the sandwich in one hand. They had a look of what could only be described as “flamboyant smugness,” nose stuck up and seemingly very proud of themselves…as if they were constantly trying to prove they were better than somebody else. Taoka squirmed internally; he knew that look VERY well from experience, and it only made him scowl more crossly. “Ahoy there!” the young man in the bandana boomed, in a voice that was so loud it almost made Taoka jump. He then gestured behind Taoka, pointing with his cane towards a distant table. “If you would be so kind, my dear sir, as to pardon me and allow me passage? I must retire to consume my vittles at my chosen port.” Taoka blinked a couple times, taken aback. “Uh…you mind runnin’ all that by me a li’l slower, babe? And without blowin’ my eardrums out?” he grimaced, wringing out one ear in emphasis. The other student smiled patiently. Perhaps TOO patiently. Patronizingly, in fact. “I’d like to get by and get to my table, please, and you’re blocking my way currently,” he replied, in a slow, overly-polite-sounding tone that matched his expression. “Oh, so I’m holdin’ you up?” Taoka glared, and advanced slightly. “Well, from where I stand, you’re holdin’ ME up, too! You’re definitely holdin’ up my lunch!” “Your lunch?” frowned the Heartslabyul student, and smirked as he held the sandwich up and gave it a slight wiggle with a flick of his wrist. “I don’t see your name stenciled upon the paper here. As far as I’m concerned, this is MY lunch.” Taoka’s eyes narrowed further, till they were amethyst slits…then, a slow, sinister sort of smile came over his face. Steadily, he prowled closer to his rival for the honor of the mighty sandwich… “Mmmmm…funny thing about that, cutie-pie…I’m not necessarily talkin’ about that sandwich.” He grinned, showing off his sharp teeth. Instantly, a change came over the other student, as their eyes widened and their bold, cocksure smile faltered. Cautiously, they stepped back, and Taoka met each step with a threatening forward step of his own. “I-I, ah…ahem! Is…is th-that so?” the other student stammered, trying to sound bold, but stuttering too much to manage. Taoka chuckled low in his chest and nodded, licking his fangs. “Uh-huh,” he said. “See, it takes a lotta meat to keep this fed…” He patted his belly with one hand as he moved closer to his prey. “...And you, babe? You look like seafood.” Latronis made a show of sniffing the air and chortled. “Ho-Ho…kinda smell like it, too. You sure you’re a human and not just some fishsticks someone left out for me to snap up, huh?” he cooed teasingly.

Taoka’s grin widened as these taunting words only made the other party gulp nervously…and a blush came to their face. “Maybe I oughta just…lead you somewhere less public…gobble you up for my supper…send that sandwich down after you…” The Heartslabyul student froze as they suddenly found their back flat against a wall. Taoka immediately thrust out one arm, slamming his palm into the wall behind them and to the side of their head. He chuckled softly as they let out a shrill sound of startled fright; he could hear their heartbeat, smell their fear…and something else. His mouth watered as he saw their cheeks flush an even brighter shade of red, those brown eyes seeming doe-like and so soft. “How’s that sound, fishfood? Huh?” The other student whimpered a bit, and smiled a sort of crooked, anxious smile, lifting their right hand shakily in a placating manner. “N-Now now, I…um…ahem. S-Steady there! Th-there’s no need to take such drastic measures! I-I’m sure we can…uh…c-come to some sort of agreement, yes?” Taoka hummed thoughtfully in the back of his throat, still rubbing his belly with his free hand. He tilted his head, smiling in a sultry sort of fashion. “What’s your name, babe?” he asked, in his lowest, smokiest sort of voice. “Seen you around. Heard about ya. Don’t think I ever caught it, though.” “James,” the other student answered, and, to their credit, they didn’t stammer when speaking their own name. “James Killian.” “Mmmmm…well, Jimmy-boy…” “James!” “Uh-huh, that’s what I said…tell you what, I’ll let you, heh, ‘off the hook’ this time, ‘kay?” James blinked twice. “You…you will?” he peeped, and almost sounded disappointed…but quickly covered it up. “Er, that is, ah…w-well, I…um…thank you, but…m-may I ask what the condition is?” “Awww, there’s no condition, codfish. Ya see…” Taoka grinned anew, a twinkle in his eyes, lifting the hand that had been at his belly…and suddenly revealing a familiar wrapped sandwich now rested between his fingers. “...I already have what I really wanted.” James’ look of fear and strange longing fell away, changing to an absolutely gobsmacked look. His mouth opened and closed a few times, but no sound came out; he really did look like a fish in that moment! Taoka sniggered as Killian lifted the hand that had been holding his sandwich, flexing his fingers, shocked as they clasped around thin, empty air. James froze up again as Taoka playfully patted his cheek and winked. “Better luck next time, cutie-pie,” he crooned. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go have some ‘vittles’ of my own. Catch ya later.”

So saying, Taoka blew a teasing kiss into James’ face, which brought the blush back…but only briefly. As Taoka turned on his heel and prepared to find a table, he didn’t notice as James’ expression changed from a look of flustered startlement to a snarling sneer…nor when the raven-haired young man undid a secret catch upon his cane, and silently, stealthily withdrew a long, thin blade from his walking stick… “BAD FORM!” Now it was Taoka’s turn to let out a yelp as, suddenly, the point of a rapier-like cane sword thrust itself into his field of vision…and skillfully pierced itself through the wax paper and the sandwich within. The sword then withdrew, bringing the sandwich back with it. Taoka whirled about just in time to see James stuffed the sandwich into a pocket and run off, sheathing his blade as he went. “H-Hey! HEY! GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE CODFISH!” roared Taoka, and sprinted after Killian. “Oh, come now, WHY DO PEOPLE DEFAULT TO THAT NAME SO EASILY?!” James shouted to the sky above. Taoka didn’t even think to answer THAT question: he was more concerned with getting his sandwich back! He gritted his teeth as he chased James clear out of the cafeteria and onto the grounds outside. James had not gone far - the cafeteria doors were still plainly in sight - when he rounded a bend and abruptly bumped into somebody else. Both parties jolted and jerked with a pair of matching grunts, each startled by the other’s presence. “Oof! Oh, excuse me, pardon me!” James sputtered. “No, no, it’s fine, it’s fine, my fault!” the other student said, and helpfully reached out to dust off James’ uniform…only to pull back and put his hands up when James let out a slight growl and defensively swiped at them with his hands, like a cat swatting away unwanted affection. “Sorry about that!” “Not at all,” muttered James, and arched an eyebrow as he looked at the other person. The newcomer was taller than him, Killian noted, with a lean, athletic sort of build. The features of their school uniform indicated they came from Diasomnia house, but at first glance, he might have mistaken them for Savanaclaw: they were a beastman - specifically demi-dog, of some sort. Their hair was slightly shaggy, though short-cut, and brown in color, with pointed canine ears that had inky black tips. This coloration matched the doglike tail that swished behind them. Their green eyes were half-hidden by the odd, indigo-tinted shades they wore, and they wore black gloves on each hand. Their belt was fastened with a silver buckle in the shape of an inkwell. “Elias Inque,” the other student greeted with a broad, amiable smile. “Nice to meet you.” “James,” Killian said, shortly, with a curt nod. “A pleasure, I’m sure. Now, if you don’t mind, I REALLY must-” “GOTCHA!” James yelped as he was suddenly tackled to the ground by Taoka Latronis. Elias nimbly skipped back out of the way. James cried out as he found himself pinned beneath Taoka who grinned viciously down at the pirate’s anxious-looking face. “Thanks for being easy to catch,” cackled Taoka, licking his chops. “Mmmmm…that little race worked up an appetite though…” “A-Alright, alright, easy there!” Killian squeaked out. “Let’s n-not forget, you’re the one who stole from me first, after all!”

“You say that like I should feel bad,” snorted Taoka, and glared ferociously. “Now GIMME!” “Shan’t!” James barked, trying to glare even as his cheeks reddened once again. “I stole it back fair and square!” “You either give me back my lunch, or you’re gonna BE my-!” The sound of rustling paper, and food being bitten into, distracted both scoundrels. Each wore matching, stunned expressions, as they turned and looked upwards towards the source of the sounds. Elias leaned back against the wall, cheeks stuffed with one half of the sandwich, the other still gripped in one of his gloved hands. He smirked in a self-satisfied manner, green eyes glittering behind the blue-violet tinting of his sunglasses as he swished his tail from left to right. He swallowed the mouthful with a loud, almost taunting GUUULLLP, and smacked his lips as the thick bulge went down his gullet…before stifling a burp in his cheeks and fist. “BRRRLLLMMMPH…phew…‘scuse me,” he chuckled, and held the remaining half of the sandwich up a little higher. “This what you’re both looking for? Huh. That’s a shame.” Before either Taoka or James could respond to that, Eli promptly stuffed the other half of the sandwich into his gaping jaws, letting out a relishing “Mmmmm…!” of contentment between gnaws as he chewed it up, just to tease the pair. James and Taoka, for their parts, swore they could feel their eyes twitch, still in the same posture as before, as if they’d been petrified. Elias chuffed with laughter as he swallowed the rest of the sandwich and patted his stomach with pride. He belched again, this time without a hint of restraint, and licked his incisors. “UUUUURRRRRRRP! Oof…sits heavy in there sometimes. Ah, well…thanks for bringing me my favorite from the cafeteria! I’ll be on my way, gentlemen. Ta-ta!” Waggling his fingers in farewell before tucking his hands into his pockets, Eli whistled a jaunty tune as he turned to leave. However, he hadn’t taken more than a half dozen steps (if that) before he found Taoka barring his way, crouched slightly in a ready position. Elias paused…then shrugged and turned around again…only to grow irritated when James Killian blocked him in the other direction, holding his cane out like the rapier hidden within its casing. “Oh, come on,” Elias sighed. “It was just a sandwich!” “It was the last one for the day!” Taoka exclaimed. “It should have been MINE!” “Nonsense,” sniffed James. “I got me hands on it first!” “Heh. Yeah, and how long did that last, fish filet?” teased Taoka cockily. “Oh, as if I didn’t manage to plunder it from your crabby mitts, ye barnacle-brain!” snarled James. “It ultimately doesn’t matter, since I managed to steal it from you both,” Elias almost giggled. “Sorry, boys! You just can’t compare to a TRUE master thief!” “Say that again,” growled Taoka, fists clenched. “I dare you.” “Really? Well, as you wish: you just can’t compare to a true master thief!” grinned Elias, seemingly amused. “Bite your tongue, ya scurvy sea dog!” snapped James. “I’ll have you know I was pilfering long before you were even born!” “I think we’re about the same age,” Elias responded blandly. “That’s beside the point!” huffed James.

“I’ve been picking pockets for years,” snorted Taoka, crossing his arms firmly. “If anybody here is the best thief, it’s gotta be me.” “Oh, then how do you explain me managing to snatch that sandwich away from you so deftly, hmmm?” James teased. “I dunno. I snatched it from you first. And I was subtle about it,” Taoka taunted right back. “And I got without either of you noticing!” sang Elias. “Again, seems like I’m the top here!” “Babe, I’m the bottom if you’re the top,” droned Taoka. “...I am…not sure what that means, unless you’re referencing a song,” Elias replied blandly. “I’m not,” was the equally bland response. “Oh, what difference does it all make?!” James scoffed. “It’s pointless arguing with animals!” “YOU TAKE THAT BACK!” both Eli and Taoka snarled violently. “Make me, ye blathering pair of Cinderella-slipper-wearing bilge rats!” James yapped. “Girls, girls, you’re ALL beautiful, please stop.” All three stopped short in their arguing as they heard a familiar voice and turned…and when they saw who had just spoken and gone past, all three wore matching, nefarious grins. “Come to think of it…we could always ask for a second opinion,” Elias suggested, slyly. “That’s the first smart thing you’ve said so far,” Taoka said drearily. “Bite me,” growled Eli. “Don’t tempt me,” the half-decapod replied back, and the three hurried to catch up with the person who had just gone past…

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…And this is where YOU come into the story.

You had no idea what James, Elias, and Taoka were nattering about as you headed on your way to the cafeteria. For once, Grim was not at your side: the feline-esque critter had taken ill, and was back at Ramshackle trying to recover from a common cold. You had promised to bring him some of the finest fancy tuna you could find from the cafeteria during your lunch break between classes.

So, when you had seen the trio shouting at each other, you had just decided it was best to put your two cents in, hoping to break up the argument quickly, and move on. That would be one less problem for you to worry about…and considering it seemed like half the school would literally eat each other alive if you weren’t there to do SOMETHING about it for the headmage’s sake, you needed as few problems as possible.

It was regrettable that your decision to call attention to yourself had resulted in the exact opposite of your hopeful interest. Not but a few more steps away from the bickering gaggle of college mages, you almost skidded to a halt as they suddenly swung in front of you and barred your way.

“Hey, sweetheart! Got a minute!” Taoka teased with a wink.

You blinked three times…then sighed and put your hands on your hips, hoping you looked as unfazed as you wanted them to believe…not easy when two of NRC’s Most Ravenous (which was saying a lot) and a dashing pirate were in your path.

“Seems like I haven’t got a choice,” you snorted. “What do you three want?”

“We have a question, my dear Prefect, and we’re hoping you can give us an honest answer,” James explained.

“Okay,” you replied, slowly, after a brief pause. “And…what exactly is that question?”

“Which of us is the better thief?” Elias chirruped, hopefully.

You gave him your most withering stare. You hoped your voice matched it.

“...Are you seriously asking me that question right now?”

“HA! You see. That means it’s me!” Elias grinned proudly.

“In what universe?!” hissed Taoka, angrily.

“I’ll be clam chowder before you two beat me at piracy!” boomed James, waving his cane around dramatically.

“No one, and I mean NO ONE, is a better thief than the Phantom Blot!” bellowed Elias.

“Uh…who is the Phantom Blot?” Taoka asked, lamely.

“ME!” Eli almost screamed, ears dipping, a whine of dejection entering his voice. He quickly changed it to a rough tone of anger: “Not that I’d expect a garish buffoon like yourself to recognize magnificence!”

“Jeeze, how many people here talk like that?” mumbled Taoka, and then added aloud: “If you were as good at stealing as you are at talking fancy, maybe this would actually be a contest!”

Halfway through the newest yelling match, you facepalmed…but as Taoka uttered the last few words, you suddenly felt a metaphorical lightbulb go off over your head.

“There!” you suddenly exclaimed. “You’ve got it!”

“Got what?” Taoka asked, as all three looked at you in confusion.

“A contest,” you smiled. “Why don’t the three of you compete? Create some sort of…I dunno, TEST, to see who is really the better thief?” All three looked at each other…and slowly started to smile. “By Jove, I think that might be an excellent solution!” James declared. “I don’t know who ‘Jove’ is, but I think it sounds fun!” laughed Taoka. “Agreed,” Elias nodded, and placed a finger to his chin in thought. “But how on Earth are we to manage such a thing? We’d need a judge who could remain objective: I don’t think of any of us can be completely unbiased working on the idea ourselves.” “You’ve got that right,” Taoka concurred. “Especially since we all know I’m going to win anyway.” Elias just let out a decidedly doglike growl as his tail-fur fluffed up irritably. “Well, good luck with that!” you said with a salute, and hastened to try and move past the three. “If you don’t mind-” “Hang on, mates!” piped up James. “I have a suggestion!” “Aww, Chernabog, give me strength,” you groaned under your breath: you had a feeling you knew what the suggestion was. You were correct. “Why not elect the Prefect here to be our resident judge?” James said, and clapped you upon the back. “I believe they would be an excellent choice for the objective party!” “I second the nomination!” Elias said, lifting one finger with a grin. You looked helplessly at Taoka, who just smirked back and lifted his hands as if to say, “Outta my hands.” You sighed dismally and shook your head before giving the three a sort of wane smile. “Well…no one’s trying to take over the school or murder someone yet, so…I guess I have a little time on my hands,” you conceded. “Marvelous!” James cheered. “I’m excited already!” Elias agreed. “HOWEVER,” you spoked up, and lifted one hand. “There are a few conditions.” “Sounds fair,” shrugged Taoka. “Go ahead then, name ‘em.” “First of all,” you said, counting on your fingers, “I will decide how the contest is run, and what the rules are. And if any of you break those rules, you will be disqualified. ‘Honor among thieves’ is gonna be a thing here. Got it?” “Seems reasonable enough,” James nodded. “Second of all, my word is gonna be the FINAL word. So no rematches or whatever; if you guys wanna beat each other up about it after, do it as far away from me as possible.” “Understood,” Elias conceded. “And what are the rules you have in mind?” “I don’t know,” you admitted with a shrug. “I mean, you JUST sprang this on me. I need time to figure out what this contest is gonna be like.”

“How much time?” Eli urged. You paused thoughtfully, then answered: “Meet me at Ramshackle Dorm this Sunday, around lunchtime. That’ll give me a few days to work out some plans.” “It shall be done,” James said, obeisantly, with a courtly bow. “Heh. Well, now I know I’m gonna win,” sniggered Taoka. “What makes you so sure?” you asked, raising one eyebrow, while James and Eli glared at him. “Well, no offense, hun, but you aren’t exactly a Master Thief yourself,” Taoka smirked, swinging his hands behind his head in a slothful pose of relaxed arrogance. “So any plans YOU have in mind are bound to be a cinch.” You paused, looking Taoka up and down…then smiled slowly. “Y’know what? That’s a good point,” you confessed. Taoka grinned wider than ever, chest puffed out proudly. “Which is why,” you went on with a grin, “I’m gonna call on some professional help.” Taoka cussed, while James and Eli snickered.

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“Shishishishi! Okay. Okay, this…this is a joke, right? Is there a camera somewhere? I mean…you wouldn’t ACTUALLY be asking me to…to, uh…um…” Ruggie Bucchi trailed off at the look on your face, as he sat beside you on the couch in the Ramshackle Lounge. “...Oh. You, uh…you’re actually serious.” You nodded mutely. Ruggie cocked his head to one side and scratched behind his own ears, his expression lopsided. “Well, uh…I AM pretty nifty when it comes to picking pockets and such, but…are you sure you even wanna DO this? I mean…it’s not really your thing, Herbivore.” “That’s why I need YOUR help,” you replied. “I have to figure out a way for this contest to end the way I’m hoping it will.” “Oh?” Ruggie blinked, and then smiled sneakily, wiggling on his seat as he scooted closer. “That sounds like you’ve got some schemes of your own in mind.” “You could say that,” you smirked. Ruggie snickered in his usual way, hiding his mouth with his hand. “You may not be Leona, but you’re a lot more sly than people give you credit for,” he remarked, grinning and showing off his own sharp teeth. “I guess that makes you brain food, huh?” “You can save the kink-teasing for after I work out a plan,” you huffed, blushing a little…though, to your credit, it WAS only a little. “Fine, fine,” Ruggie drawled rolling his eyes, then cocked his head the other way. “What exactly IS it you want to do?” “Simple. Stop them arguing. Permanently.” “I could eat them! Would that help?” “Tempting, but not why I called on you at all. What I want is to get them to realize there’s no point in this stupidity, and hopefully get along better in the process.” “Awww, trying to make them all buddy-buddy,” teased Ruggie in a sing-song voice. “Well, aren’t you just a softy?” “Softer than most of you,” you scoffed. “But actually, it’s nothing so sentimental: to be blunt, the less they yell at each other, the less likely I’ll have to put up with whatever chaos they cause.” “Heh. Well, I can approve of ulterior motives,” Ruggie chuckled, then narrowed his eyes. "Although…you seem pretty confident I’ll agree to help.” “Will you?”

Ruggie shrugged. He looked a bit uninterested. “I mean…I haven’t said yes yet,” he reminded you. “What’s in it for me, anyway? I’m not taking place in the contest, and even if I was…psh. I don’t feel I need to PROVE anything, I KNOW I’m a great thief.” “Well,” you began thoughtfully. “I can’t PAY you. Not with money, anyway…” “That’s what I figured,” Ruggie nodded, seeming like he was about to get ready to leave. “However,” you went on, quickly, “If you help me, I can offer you the next best thing.” Ruggie’s ears perked up and his eyes widened. His spotted little tail began to thump the cushions of the sofa. He knew what that meant. “Food?” he asked, hopefully, eyes very large and sparkling. “Yup,” you smirked. “Free meals each day you assist me.” “Hot meals?” Ruggie almost woofed. You had to hold back a giggle as you nodded. “Of course. Made by yours truly. And, when it’s all over, I’ll take you out for a special treat myself.” Ruggie grinned wider than ever. You could hear his guts singing your praises already. He thrust out one fingerless-gloved hand, practically panting with excitement. “Deal!” he declared. “Excellent,” you said, and the two of you shook hands. “You know I can’t resist your cooking,” Ruggie winked. “It’s almost as tasty as you are.” “I am NOT going to be the special treat, if that’s what you’re implying.” “Ooooh…that means it’s gonna be a SURPRISE then! I’m even more curious!” “We’ll see what happens,” you smirked, mysteriously, as you withdrew your hand. “Now. Let’s put our heads together. What do you think would be the best way to test how good these guys are at pinching people’s property, huh?” Ruggie let out a thoughtful sound and reclined on the couch, turning his eyes heavenward…then slowly, he smiled in a slippery, almost serpentine way. “I’ve got a couple ideas,” he said, with a slight cackle. “For a start…”

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“‘Ill-met by moonlight, proud Titania.’” “‘What, jealous Oberon! Fairies, skip hence!’” “Look, for five minutes, could you two NOT talk like that?!” James and Elias “harrumphed” in nearly perfect unison, while Taoka rolled his eyes with an utterly exhausted-sounding sigh. The trio were approaching Ramshackle Dorm, at the appointed date and time the Prefect had set up. They had all chosen to wear their selection of casuals for the occasion: Taoka was gaudily garbed in his favorite gold-and-purple jacket and coral-colored shirt, with the image of a crab stenciled upon it, along with cerulean trousers and glammed-up boots similar in color to his coat. James, meanwhile, was costumed in a bright red coat, a white shirt with frilly, lacey sleeves, maroon-toned pants held in place by a belt with a golden skull-and-crossbones-bearing buckle, and tall black boots. Finally, Elias was dressed in a near skintight black turtleneck top, and similarly form-fitting black pants (fastened by his own unique belt and buckle), with shiny black shoes; combined with his beret cap and purple shades, he looked a little like a stereotypical, pretentious beatnik. It is therefore totally understandable that when Ruggie opened the door and saw the trio…he immediately burst out into a peals of high-pitched giggles. “What’s so funny?” scowled James, fidgeting his fingers around the topper of his cane sword. “Noooothing,” Ruggie sang back, grinning wider than any Cheshire Cat. He then stepped to one side and swept out his arm in an over-the-top way; he spoke in a similarly exaggerated “posh” sort of voice: “Please, fancy gentlemen, DO enter!” All three could tell they were being mocked, and glared at the hyena…but they entered anyway. “So, where’s the Prefect?” asked Taoka, slinging his arms behind his head and half-groaning as he stretched through his sentence. “They’re waiting in the Lounge,” Ruggie answered, and waved for the three to follow him as he strolled in front. “C’mon!” The three strode after the half-hyena as he led them down the hall and into the lounge in question; Ruggie’s ear twitched as he could hear the tapping of Killian’s cane upon the floorboards As they entered the lounge, Ruggie glided over to a loveseat near the entryway. Eli, James, and Taoka all paused as they soon saw you. You were sitting in a rocking chair at the other end of the room…with Grim in your lap…stroking him with a most sinister smile. “Welcome, gentlemen,” you intoned, in your most velvety voice. “I’ve been expecting you. Your timing is impeccable…and by impeccable, I mean ‘completely peccable!’” The three just…blinked at you. Three times each. Slowly. “...Wow,” Elias said at last. “And people say I’M a ham.” Taoka snorted with laughter while Ruggie snickered in the background. James merely smirked, shouldering his cane.

You sighed and pinched your brow. “Everyone’s a critic,” you mumbled. “ACHOO!” All of you jumped slightly as Grim sneezed, sending sparks and smoke flying from his nostrils. The flame-eared, trident-tailed cat looked rather tired and miserable as he slowly rolled his head up to look at you. “Nyaaaa…Minion…can I be excused?” he whined. “I’m still not feeling too good…” “Of course,” you said with a gentle smile, scratching under his chin. “Go rest up. And thanks, Grim; sorry the big entrance didn’t work.” “That’s okay,” sniffled Grim, sounding as stuffed up as he doubtless felt, and nuzzled you slightly. “Hey…bring me some tuna soup when you finish, please?” “Sure,” you nodded, and Grim bounced off your lap and dismally padded off to find his bed. “Goodness, he really MUST be under the weather,” frowned James, worriedly. “I’ll say,” Eli murmured, scratching his head. “He was actually being POLITE.” “I know, right?!” Ruggie broke in. “It’s not natural!” “Grim will be fine by the end of the week,” you said, folding your hands in your lap where he’d been (after dusting a few stray imp-hairs he’d shed away). “You three have more to be concerned with.” “So, you got everything worked out, babe?” Taoka inquired. “I sure do, with Ruggie’s help,” you nodded, and waved a hand towards a sofa near you. “Have a seat, all of you, and I’ll tell you how this is gonna work.” The three self-proclaimed master thieves obediently marched over to the sofa and sat down. For a moment, all three growled as they fidgeted and tried to get comfortable, clearly incensed at being in such close proximity to each other, but finally they settled and looked at you expectantly. You took a breath, and then began to elaborate on the plan… “I am preparing four challenges, each to be completed on a separate day, starting tomorrow. The day after tomorrow will be the second task, the day after that the third, and of course the fourth would follow thereafter.” “Ooooh, ‘thereafter,’” smirked Taoka. “You rehearsed this a little, didn’t you?” “Alternatively, I can call on a favor from Riddle. Then you can all be collared, and no one wins, if you keep making fun of me while I’m talking.” Taoka made a motion of zipping his lip. James and Eli remained respectfully silent.

“That’s better,” you mumbled, and then went on: “Each challenge will test your skills for your chosen…hobby. Every task requires you to find a playing card, which I have hidden somewhere on the campus…” “AHEM!” Ruggie coughed, crossly. “...Which either I or Ruggie have hidden on campus,” you corrected, which satisfied the Savanaclaw student. “One of the four Aces. Ruggie has helpfully put a special marking spell on the cards, so if you try to cheat me with a phony, we will know. Whichever one of you has collected the most cards by the end wins, barring the possibility of a tie, of course. All clear?” “Yeah, so far,” Elias nodded. “Good. Now, there are three basic rules,” you continued, lifting up two fingers in emphasis.“First and foremost, you are not allowed to harm anyone else, or their property, whether they are involved in the contest or not. You also cannot tell anybody who isn’t already aware of the contest anything about it. On that note, while I may enlist the help of other students to make the challenges possible, none of you will be allowed to get help from others who are not involved.” All of you looked pointedly at James. He pouted. “No help from Smitty,” he grumbled. “Got it.” You nodded. “Like I said before,” you finished, lowering your hand, “Break any rules or regulations, and you will be disqualified. That’s all, I think, at least for now.” “Great!” grinned Elias, and leaned forward on the couch slightly, rubbing his hands together. “So, what’s the first challenge? Which card are we getting?” You smirked and looked towards Ruggie, giving him his cue. The hyena was lounging on the loveseat, head propped up on a pillow against one arm rest, his legs crossed and outstretched. Bucchi flashed a devious grin and made a show of flippantly inspecting his fingernails.

“This morning,” he reported, “I managed to sneak into the locker room of the gymnasium and hid the Ace of Clubs in one of the lockers. Tomorrow, you guys have to try and figure out a way to get the card out of the locker, without being caught, then bring it back here to Ramshackle before…uh…” “Dinnertime,” you reminded him. “Around six o’ clock in the evening.” “Right, right,” Ruggie nodded, and then snapped his fingers. “Oh! And I should let you all know: the person whose locker I hid it in? They’ve got no idea it’s in there. At least, I don’t think they do.” “Definitely helpful to be aware of that,” mumbled James, scratching his chin ponderingly. “Hey, no sweat on my back!” grinned Elias, cracking his knuckles and neck in a showoff fashion. “A locker’s no great challenge!” “Well, that depends,” Taoka said, surprisingly seriously, and looked over at Ruggie, raising one eyebrow. “Whose locker is it, babe? Kinda gotta know that, don’t we?” Ruggie glared. “First of all, don’t call me babe.” “Whatever,” shrugged Taoka, uncaringly. “Second of all,” Ruggie went on, and grinned devilishly, “The locker is Azul Ashengrotto’s.” All of the color drained from Taoka’s face. His jaw dropped. A strangled sort of sound left him, as if all the air had been sucked dry from his lungs. His whole demeanor was one of absolute, mortified terror. James and Elias giggled like naughty little boys. “You know, I daresay this game is getting interesting already,” James commented.

“Same here,” chuckled Eli. Taoka said nothing. He looked like he was trying to remember how prayers worked…or perhaps what he wanted to write in his will. You smirked and shook your head in amusement. “You’ve got all the rest of the day to plan this first one out,” you reminded the three. “Good luck, guys.” “Yeah,” Ruggie snickered. “You’re gonna need it…especially crab cakes. Shishishishi!” Latronis could only whimper.

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The following day, a head of purple-dyed hair poked its way around the corner of the entrance to the locker rooms. Two similarly violet-hued eyes darted this way and that, before the owner of these features tip-toed carefully through the quiet backroom area of the gym. Taoka took a deep breath as he approached the locker designated as Azul’s, drumming his fingertips against each other nervously. “Okay…okay, you got this,” he whispered to himself. “It’s just one locker. One simple, ordinary locker. Just a locker with a playing card in it. That’s it. That’s all you gotta worry about. Just…one locker…that belongs to…your absolute worst living nightmare…one locker that belongs to one of the scariest Housewardens in Night Raven history…one locker that belongs to someone who could c-crack your shell and s-s-suck out your s-soul-ohhhhhh, Poseidon give me strength…”Taoka slapped his own cheeks and shook himself out of his fear, taking another couple of deep breaths before moving closer to the locker. It was secured with a rather large and shiny-looking padlock; no doubt Azul, with his personality, had made sure to buy the very best he could afford. Still, any lock had a key or a combination, and Latronis was sure he could figure it out. He just prayed he could do it before Azul showed up; he knew his employer at the Lounge had PE classes in a short while. But if he could get in and out without even SEEING the Octopus…well. Not only would he win the first trial, but it would do a lot for his stress levels. Taoka stuck his tongue out thoughtfully as he brushed his fingers against his own PE uniform, and then took cautious hold of the lock; he half expected an alarm to go off or something, but no. The lock seemed relatively ordinary. Encouraged, he took hold of the dial, and started to turn it this way and that, listening closely to try and pick up the sound of the tumblers tucked within the mechanism. Unfortunately for the demi-crab in disguise, before he could even make a second of headway in that regard, he heard the sound of footsteps approaching…and his blood ran cold as ice in his arteries as he heard a familiar voice speaking…

“Come in! Come in, and follow me. This business shouldn’t take too long…”

The Octopus!

Taoka cursed under his breath, and scurried like a rat (or…well…a crab) across the gymnasium floor, hiding behind a wall that separated the lockers from the showers. He flattened himself back against it, trembling, trying to keep his teeth from chattering. Contest or no contest, if Azul caught HIM anywhere near his locker, he could end up being made into crab bisque! Literally!

As Taoka hid, he heard Azul enter the locker room, muttering something to himself. As his crabby brain raced to try and figure out some sort of way out of this situation (and into the half-cephalopod's locker to snatch the Ace of Clubs), he suddenly heard another, equally familiar (though much less scary) voice come echoing down the hall…

“I’m so glad we could arrange this so easily.”

“Killian?” Taoka murmured to himself in recognition.

“No trouble at all, James!” Azul’s voice crowed, as they moved increasingly closer to the lockers. “Once you told me what you were working on, I simply couldn’t refuse! You know how hard it is for me to say no to my favorite seafarer…”

“Flatterer. At this rate, you’ll have me blushing!”

“Well…you DO look delicious when you’re embarrassed.”

“Oh, come now, that was a trifle forced, don’t you think?”

“Sorry. I have to get at least ONE tease in whenever I meet you, it’s practically law.”

“Indeed? Did we sign a contract on that point at some time and I didn’t know?” “We could, if you like.” “No thanks, I’ll pass. Now, let’s see about opening that locker and-” “CHEAT!” Azul Ashengrotto and James Killian both jumped, startled, as a familiar voice shouted at them, echoing through the locker room. Taoka, rather impulsively, had leapt out from his hiding place, pointing an accusatory finger at James. “Taoka!” Azul gasped in surprise, looking rather amazed at the boldness of the Pomefiore half-crab. “What are you doing here?” James exclaimed, seemingly even more bewildered. “The same as you,” sneered Taoka. He was about to reprimand James for apparently breaking the rules, when Azul spoke up: “Interesting…I didn’t take you to be much of a reader, Latronis.” Taoka blinked. “...Much of a what?” “Well, James was hoping I could lend him a book I borrowed recently from the library,” Azul explained, gesturing towards his locker. “I told him to meet me early, before athletics class, and I would give it to him then and there. Meaning, of course, here and now.” “Oh.” There was an awkward silence. “So…uh…what is the book about?” Taoka asked, with an innocent smile. “Don’t try to change the subject,” Azul glared, eyes glittering in a stormy way behind his glasses. “Given that it’s obvious that’s not what you are here about, why were you skulking about in the showers? And how long have you been here?” “Indeed,” James smirked, and crossed his arms. “And what did you mean by calling me a cheat, hmmm?” Taoka clenched his gloved fist and gritted his teeth behind closed lips. Not only did he now have a rather suspicious Azul looking at him crossly, but if he called James’ bluff and answered the latter question, he’d be disqualified for breaking the rules. Thankfully, the crab-man in human clothing was nothing if not quick-thinking, and rapidly came up with an out. “Oh, I wasn’t calling you a cheat for anything related to that book, whatever it is,” Taoka purred, mimicking James’ own actions. “You ought to know already what this is about.” James Killian’s smile faltered.

“Why should I explain, blast it?! You’re the one who was hiding.” “And you’re the one I accused of cheating.” “How does that put ANY blame on me?” “Well, I have to have a REASON to accuse you, don’t I? Go ahead, give the reason.” “That’s not how this works!” “Isn’t it?” “I can’t simply say what’s going on!” “Then you admit something IS going on, and you know what.” “Yes! NO! I mean…curse it, I can’t say!” “Why not?” “Because…because…YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHY NOT!” “Do I?” “Of course you do!” “Hmmmm, I’m not so sure…” “Oh, you are a VILE creature, sir.” “What’s the matter, Little Codfish? Feeling cornered?” “Says the one who could easily be made into crab cakes!” “Okay, that’s uncalled for-” “Will one of you KINDLY explain what’s happening?” Azul groaned, clearly growing annoyed with both of them. “We can’t,” both answered at once, then glared at each other before looking back at Azul again. Ashengrotto was completely puzzled…then his expression cooled. It was now HIS turn to smirk and cross his arms. “I see,” he said, in a soft, slow way…and then moved to stand firmly in front of his locker. “Well. Then perhaps I can make a guess.” The two gulped nervously, but said nothing. “I’m going to make a wager - hypothetically, mind you - that both of you want something I have,” Azul said, calmly, and adjusted his glasses. His usual sly, smarmy smile came to his face as he spoke. “Presumably, something inside my locker. Am I right?” Neither said a word. “I’ll take your silence as a yes,” Azul almost giggled, and then plastered his most charming, winning smile upon his face as he swept some stray silver hairs out of his eyes. “Well, this is hardly a great issue! You know I’m more than happy to help my underclassmen! Why don’t you simply tell me what it is, and we’ll see about coming to an arrangement for one or both of you. Simple enough, isn’t it?” “Not quite,” James said slowly, and bowed slightly in respect. “You see, Azul, we ARE after something you have…” “...But we can’t tell you what it is,” Taoka finished.

“Why not?” Azul inquired, raising one eyebrow. “For a start, you probably don’t even know you have it, boss,” Taoka said. “That is a fact,” James conceded. “You wouldn’t be aware you’re holding it.” Azul glared. A coldness came to his blue eyes that made both James and Taoka feel as if the whole room had lost all its warmth. Slowly, he advanced on both of them, stepping closer and closer. Both the pirate and the half-crab gulped anxiously and stepped backwards as he approached. “I am aware,” Azul said, very quietly, “Of every single coin in my collection. I am aware of every single thaumark my Lounge has made me, and then some. I am aware of each and every LETTER printed upon each and every contract I keep stored in my special vault. I am acutely aware of every single collateral and payment those contracts involve, from magical abilities to monetary fees. I am also aware of every single pound I put on and every single calorie I have to count after I overindulge at mealtimes.” James and Taoka were now backed up against the wall, the icy gaze of the head of Octavinelle boring into their very spirits. “So…are you two really telling me…I don’t know I have something that you really, really want?” “M-Maybe?” squeaked Taoka. “Quite possibly,” peeped James. Azul’s eyes flashed, and he leaned in closer still. “Say. That. Again.” James and Taoka almost whimpered. They had the sneaking suspicion that if they did just that, they’d be among the calories Azul would be counting. Given how James’ face turned pink, and Taoka’s turned white as a sheet, one could guess how each felt at such a proposition. While the pirate and the crab tried to figure out a way out of their sticky situation, neither they nor Azul noticed a dark, thin trail of what appeared to be blackish-blue ink, slithering across the floor like a snake in the grass. It wormed its way up across the lockers…and then slid through the gaps in the slats on Azul’s locker front. After a few moments, the dark tendril retracted, wriggling its way back the way it had just come, down the side of the lockers, across the floor, around the bend into the shower room Taoka had been in not long ago…and up the wall there, into a ventilation shaft, where it disappeared completely. It was only once the unseen, inky intruder had left the backrooms of the gymnasium that one of the two competing bandits was able to finally find his voice… “A RECIPE!” Azul’s eyes now fixed firmly on James, the look of unnerving frostiness changing to a confused expression. “A what?” “W-Well, you see…the Culinary Crucible is in a couple of months, and I-I was planning to p-participate!” James stammered, with a wide smile, and glanced towards Taoka. “He was going to do the same, and…we-well, you know how competitive that course is! D-Don’t you?” “I was? I mean, YES! Yes, that’s totally true, babe-AH, I mean, boss! Yes, boss, that’s what this is all about!” Azul did not look convinced, but he no longer looked like he was about to call on Floyd or Jade (or worse), either.

“I don’t quite understand,” he said slowly. “What do I have to do with that?” “Well, we both knew you participated a while back, and we also know you’re always looking for recipes to add to the Mostro Lounge menu,” James went on. Azul nodded steadily, still not quite understanding. “I had mentioned to my crabby associate here that I might try asking you if you had any recipes to share that might be in your locker. My guess is that Taoka was waiting here in the hopes of getting ahead of me, and thought that I had been trying to do the same.” “Yeah,” sighed Taoka, and made a show of looking shamefaced, kicking at an invisible rock with his shoe. “Sorry, boss, for worrying you. We just wanted to get an advantage over each other ahead of time. You can understand that, right?” “I can indeed,” Azul nodded, seemingly swallowing the story. “And as luck would have it, I think I might have a new recipe I discovered in my locker; I was planning to bring it back after class concluded. So, I’ll make you a deal: I’ll give one of you this recipe, but only on the condition that it stays secret between the three of us. And of course, you won’t be getting it for free.” “Name your price, we’ll see which of us can meet it,” promised Taoka. “Indeed!” James grinned, hoping he looked as eager as he sounded as he made a show of crossing his heart. Azul smirked. “Well, let’s see how much the two of you like it first,” he purred, like a cat settling a belly full of rich cream. Then, he turned on his heel and tromped back towards his locker. James and Taoka sighed with immense relief behind him, and shot each other a sour look…but their shared mixed feelings of animosity and relief were short-lived. As Azul opened his locker, each was thinking of a way to sneakily get the card supposedly stored inside… …But Azul letting out a perplexed, “Eh?” beat them to it. “What’s the matter?” James asked. “Something strange. Perhaps you two weren’t being as silly as I thought,” Azul frowned. He turned around, holding out what appeared to be not a playing card, but an index card, towards the two. “Do either of you know about this business?” James stepped forward to take the card and inspect it. His expression hardened as he then handed it to Taoka, who peered at what was written upon it. The half-crab felt something inside of him twitch, and his temple throbbed, as he saw the image of a smeared ink blot, and the following words: Better luck next time, fools! “No,” he said, evenly, with his best poker face. “This is totally news to us, boss.”

Azul looked Taoka up and down briefly, clearly dubious. To say he was concerned was an understatement. He hastily began to sift through the stuff in his locker, obviously checking to see if anything had been taken. His expression changed to one of great relief when he realized everything he knew should be in there WAS in there. “Thank goodness…a prank, no doubt, slipped through the slats,” he muttered, and retrieved the index card before tearing it up, grumbling to himself. “I’ll bet it was Floyd…or maybe Jade. Those two always love giving me a heart attack, one way or another…” As Azul went to throw the shredded pieces away, Taoka and James shared a sorrowful look. “I hate that mutt,” Taoka Latronis growled. James Killian said nothing, but he seemed inclined to agree.

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The next morning… “Ahhh! Look who decided to show up!” Elias greeted, grinning and wagging his tail as he stirred a glass of chocolate milk with one hand. He was seated in the lounge, waiting happily for James and Taoka. As they entered - each with matching, grouchy looks upon their faces - he held up the Ace of Clubs. “First game goes to me! You two might as well forfeit early; that was too easy!” “For YOU, maybe,” Taoka said with a shudder. “I thought I was gonna be fried and served on a bun!” “One could only be so lucky,” mumbled James, with a slight blush. “What?” “Nothing, never mind.” “Hey, contest’s only just getting started, guys,” Ruggie drawled from his spot on the loveseat as he munched on a strip of bacon. You had prepared breakfast for everybody present, and while Eli and Taoka’s plates were piled high with food, Ruggie had clearly gotten the lion’s share…ironically, perhaps, for a hyena, but that was another matter. “Well,” grunted Taoka, as he sat down and began to munch on some hashbrowns. He spoke through a full mouth. “What’s the next test?” You waited till he swallowed before answering between bites of your own, much smaller-served breakfast of bacon, hashbrowns, and scrambled eggs with cheddar. “Your next prize is the Ace of Diamonds,” you told them. “I took care of hiding it this time, myself. It’s in the Alchemy Lab.” “Hmph. You know, if every test is going to be, ‘get this thing I put here,’ without variation, it could become quite tedious,” James drawled. “Oh, it’s a little trickier than that,” you explained to the trio with a slight smirk. “See, there are two important points: first, I’m not telling you WHERE in the Alchemy Lab it is. You’ll have to figure out where it’s been stashed.” “And what’s the other point?” Elias asked, as he sipped his chocolate milk.

“When you took the Ace of Clubs, you did it before classes began; when there was no teacher supervising things, and no other students to potentially interfere,” you reminded them. You paused, before then saying: “This time, you have to get the card out of the Lab…while you’re all in Alchemy Class together. You will then all report back here this evening. Obviously, you can’t let Professor Crewel or anyone else in class see you take it.” “Are you daft?!” James exclaimed. “We all know what a strict taskmaster he is!” “That’s what makes it challenging!” Ruggie sang out, waving his fork around merrily. “What’s the matter, Little Codfish?” smirked Elias. “Afraid I’ll win again?” “Stow yer anchor in a place where the sun won’t shine, ye ink-brained sea slug,” and pointed his own fork at Eli…still with a bit of egg on it. “This time, I’ll get that Card, just wait and see!”

Elias laughed mockingly in response. Taoka, for his part, remained unusually quiet. He simply smirked to himself, licking his lips between gulps of milk, the fingers of his free hand drumming against the sofa cushions to a beat only he could hear…

Elias whimpered, ducking his head and tucking his tail between his legs with a look of true fear. James, who had watched everything, sniggered nastily. Then, both of them jumped and yelped - as did nearly everybody else in the lab, in fact - when out of nowhere… ZAM! …There was a blinding flash of golden light, which lit up the whole lab. Everyone flinched and shrouded their eyes. Many blinked back tears that were jerked from their ducts at the sudden, bursting glare. James and Elias blinked - the latter removing his shades and rubbing his eyes, confused as to how even his sunglasses hadn’t done much to block the shining flash - as the light finally faded and their bleary vision began to clear. Once it finally had…Elias Inque’s eyes widened. He waved to James to get his attention, and pointed at the shelf that had been a target for them both. James turned…and was stunned to see the card had disappeared from its place. Over the sound of Divus Crewel barking at the students, demanding to know what had just happened, certain someone had put something in their potion they should not have…a shrill whistle caught the pair’s ears. The two turned… …And each sneered vengefully. Taoka Latronis stood a few stations away. His partner was still clearing their eyes. The crab in disguise offered them each a complacent smile as he revealed the Ace of Diamonds tucked between two of his fingers, and then slipped it into his pocket. “Drat,” Elias groaned. “Foiled again.”

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“Yer a limp-fingered, brine-swilling, quasi-crustaceous excuse of a man!” “And you REALLY know how to come up with some HILARIOUS insults, tiger. Mind writin’ some of ‘em down? Maybe I can work ‘em into a song sometime!” grinned Latronis in response to Killian’s caterwauling. “Guys, guys, relax!” Ruggie yawned, as he once again lounged upon the loveseat. “It’s only half time…” All this was said before Ruggie placed a cherry on the tip of his tongue and swallowed it up whole. He sighed, tracing the path it made as it rolled down his throat and into his belly. He gave his tummy a tap with two fingers before letting out a short, deep burp. He then grinned and winked in your direction. You blushed bright red and squirmed in your seat. “Teasing showoff,” you mumbled, then quickly cleared your throat. You had served up some fruit salad for each of your guests that evening. Thankfully, Elias and Taoka were too busy glaring at each other to even consider teasing you, and James was more the sort to be teased himself than anything else. Ruggie was the only one in any kind of mood to fluster you. Small blessings, you supposed. “AHEM! So. That’s two cards and two trials down, two more to go. For the next one,” you informed the group, “I’ve decided to bring someone else into the fold…kind of.” “Kind of?” Eli repeated, finally turning away from Taoka to arch an eyebrow in your direction. He adjusted his shades and his tie. “What do you mean by that?” “Well, therein lies the test,” you explained. “I’ve asked another party to take care of the Ace of Hearts. They’re to deliver it to me, here, by sundown tomorrow. However, I haven’t told them the real reason why I need them to take care of the card: they only know that I’ll need them to return it to me by then, and not to let anybody else take it from them.” “Which is exactly what we’ve gotta do, right?” Taoka guessed. “Correct,” you nodded. “Just like with the previous task, all three of you will report here in the evening, presumably after the test is finished. The usual rules apply, meaning you can’t hurt this person or anything they value, you cannot tell them why you need the card if you confront them, and you cannot ask anybody who isn’t involved for help.” “We all gathered those points, I suspect,” Elias pointed out. “But who on Earth did you get to agree to this? There aren’t very many people on this campus I’d personally trust with my own property, under any circumstances, and very few I can think of who would do something like this under the given set of issues. I’m presuming you offered them a reward?” “No reward, actually, just trust,” you replied. “Well, that rules out Ace and Deuce, just for a start,” James murmured thoughtfully. “Is it Kalim?” Taoka asked. “I mean, that kid’s got more honesty in his chest than is probably healthy in a human being…or any other livin’ creature, for that matter.” “I’d personally wager that the same fact rules him out, too,” Elias pointed out. “Kalim is far too trusting, and while he’s no slouch in physical fitness, he’s more of a lover than a fighter. Any one of us could easily beguile him into giving up the card or snatch it out from under his nose without much issue. I’d suggest our discerning judge would be a little too smart to utilize him.” “Thank you, Eli,” you smiled with a grateful nod. “And no, it’s not any of them.” “Perhaps one of the other housewardens then?” Elias thought to ask…and then looked distinctly anxious. “You wouldn’t lend it to Malleus, would you?” “I want you all to compete, not risk getting roasted alive,” you blandly retorted.

“You’re getting warm though!” Ruggie sang out, in-between bites of cantaloupe from his fruit salad bowl, wiggling his booted feet happily as he swished his tail. He was clearly enjoying watching the trio try to figure it out. “Is it someone from Diasomnia?” James guessed. “Ding-Ding-Ding! Give the Little Codfish a prize!” Ruggie giggled. James blushed at the nickname, and mumbled “churlish pozzy-wallah” under his breath. “So,” Taoka summed up, clapping and rubbing his hands together. “Some guy at Diasomnia…someone the Prefect trusts a lot - who isn’t Malleus, thank Chernabog - and isn’t likely to just give us what they’re holding or let their guard down easily. Also, apparently they’re doing all this without asking for something in return, so they ain’t as selfish as some others.” Elias Inque’s green eyes widened. A Diasomnia student himself, he immediately fitted the puzzle pieces in his head together. A pondering “Hmmmmm” left him as he sat back, steepling his fingers in grave concentration. “I can think of only one person in my dorm that fits that entire description,” he said, seriously. James and Taoka looked at each other, then at you and Ruggie and your matching smirks, and then at Elias Inque. “Who?” they asked together.

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Silver yawned, and stretched drowsily. He smiled - a patient, calm, ever-sleepy smile - as he glanced about the halls of Diasomnia’s castle dormitories, and then began to march his way through the passages. It was time to start another day of classes.

As he walked, he patted a pocket of his dorm uniform. He nodded to himself, a stern look in his aurora-hued eyes.

“Good,” he murmured. “It’s still there. I just have to hold onto it till sundown. I’m not sure what this ‘special project’ the Prefect was talking about needs a playing card for…but if they really need it to be kept safe till they’re ready, I’ll do my very best.”

Nodding to himself again, Silver straightened his posture as he strode in the direction of the mirror portal that would lead him out of Diasomnia and to the main campus. As he was walking, he heard a sudden commotion, and the sound of someone cursing under their breath. A perplexed sort of scowl came to Silver’s face, and he hurried to see what was the matter.

His aurora eyes widened when he saw a fellow Diasomnia student kneeling on the ground, apparently trying to clean up some sort of mess. He recognized who it was instantly: there was only one student in their dorm with doglike ears and a tail. “Elias?” he called out, hastened down the hall. “Are you alright?” “Oh! Oh, Silver, good morning!” Eli called back with a wave, and a slightly embarrassed chortle. “Ha Ha…yes, I’m fine, just…a bit clumsy, that’s all…” “That’s not like you,” Silver observed as he approached, and tilted his head as he looked down. “What’s the matter? Drop something?” “Yes,” sighed Eli, and stood up making a grand, sweeping gesture with his hands. All around him on the floor was a litter of playing cards. “I was invited to join Reno for a game over breakfast, you see, before we both need to get to class. I volunteered to bring my own deck, but…well…” He showed the box that had held the cards to Silver. It looked rather old and worn out, and had clearly torn along its sides. “I’m sorry,” Silver said, a hint of sadness in his eyes. “I know that’s got to be frustrating…and I’d hate for you to be late for your game…” A smile came to his face, and he knelt down. “Here,” he said, and began to lift the cards from the floor. “I’ll help you pick these up, for a start.” “Thank you, my friend,” Elias said graciously, hiding his smirk as the pair hastened to pluck the cards that had fallen and reshuffle them together. Elias carefully picked up the Ace of Hearts from his deck first, and tucked it sneakily into his own uniform pocket when he thought Silver wasn’t looking. Then, he made a show of fussing and fretting as the two quickly gathered up the other 51 cards in the deck and sorted them together. He soon spotted the Ace of Hearts in Silver’s pocket with his keen eyes. He quickly tried to snatch it out with a deft swipe of his fingers…but before he could, Silver stood, and Eli had to withdraw lest his attempt be spotted. “There you go!” Silver said, sweetly, holding out half the deck. “That should be all of them.” “Oh! Oh, uh, thank you!” Eli stammered as he put the two half-decks together. “Not at all,” Silver said, smiling a little more. “What are dorm-mates for? Now, I have to get to my own class, Eli. Please be more careful!” “I’ll try, and I’ll find another box soon,” Eli added. Silver nodded, and then turned to leave. As he did, Elias waited a bit…then called out. “One moment!” Silver turned around, looking confused. “Is something wrong?” he asked, innocently. Eli was making a show of scanning the deck in his hand. “I, uh…think you might have accidentally taken one of my cards. The Ace of Hearts?” he said.

Silver blinked at him. Twice. “You put it in your pocket,” he reminded Inque. “I saw you.” Elias cursed violently in his own mind. In real life, he laughed with embarrassment and fetched the card from his own coat pocket. “Ah-ha! Yes, yes, so I did! Er…thank you again!” “Anytime,” smiled Silver, serenely, seemingly none the wiser, and went on his way. Behind him, Elias pouted as he pocketed the deck of cards. “Ruined a good box for nothing,” he grumbled, and pouted as he stalked back towards his room. “Curses!” A couple of hours went by. They were uneventful. For Silver, the day was passing like any other so far. A few times he checked his pocket to make sure the playing card was still there and decently intact, but otherwise, things proceeded as usual. Of course, “usual” for Silver also meant one particular curse. About halfway through his day, as he was on his way to lunch, he suddenly felt the oncoming stirrings of a sudden spell of tiredness. He yawned and scrubbed at his eyes as he walked through the grounds. Part of the way to the cafeteria, he paused…and sat down on a bench beneath an apple tree, near the wishing well. “Just a short nap,” he mumbled to himself, yawning again as he reclined upon the bench and got ready to sleep. “I’m sure…I’ll still have time…to…” Before he could say “eat,” he was already snoring, eyes closed as he peacefully rested in the shade. The breeze whistled through his hair, but still he did not stir. This was the moment another competitor had been waiting for. Taoka Latronis grinned wider than any Cheshire Cat as he poked his head out of the nearby colonnade, and then began to sneak towards Silver. He’d been watching the bodyguard most of the day, waiting for the right moment to strike. As far as he was concerned, the best time to pinch the playing card would be while Silver was having one of his sleeping spells. At first, it seemed he was correct. Cautiously, steadily, Taoka bent down…and dove his gloved hand into one of Silver’s pockets. To his delight, he picked the one that had the playing card on the first try! Carefully, he slid the card out of the pocket, and turned away, ready to depart as if nothing happened… …Unaware that a single gray eye had instantly snapped open behind him. Taoka had only taken three steps…when he froze up, suddenly, as Silver shot up from his resting spot, and drew the collapsible combat-rod he carried with him from its scabbard. The same steel rod suddenly whipped out and drew itself hard against his chest, and one of his arms was captured into the crook of Silver’s other limb, to make sure he wouldn’t escape. Taoka hissed through his teeth, startled and a little scared. He instinctively raised both hands (not hard when one arm was already drawn upwards) in surrender. His own violet eyes slid to peer into Silver’s. The resident human of Diasmonia was glaring at him with a frosty, strict look in his metallic irises. “Please give that back,” he asked, politely but firmly. “I…wha…buh…how did you…?!”

“My training with my father has taught me a great deal,” Silver said. “Though I may sleep extremely soundly, I can still feel it when one tries to pick my pocket. If I am to defend Malleus with all my heart, I need to be alert as much as possible.” Taoka gulped. “I’ll ask once more: please, give that back.” Silver’s tone was neither angry nor annoyed. He sounded matter of fact, calm, and even sort of beseeching. “I don’t want to fight you, but I will, if I need to. Return the card, and then we can go back to being friends. Alright?” Taoka would have snorted at the almost infantile naivete he felt in those words…but he really didn’t want to risk getting beaten within an inch of his life, when his shell wasn’t even on him…and besides, he’d already lost the trial. In a test of thievery, it was naturally indicated he couldn’t get caught, and he had been…and if he tried to take it by force, that would only make things worse, as he wasn’t allowed to even try and hurt Silver. “Alright, fine,” he sighed in defeat. Silver lowered the rod and released his arm. Taoka then turned and obligingly handed the Ace back to him. “Why would you want to take this anyway?” Silver asked, puzzled. “Eh, it was just meant to be a bit of fun,” Taoka lied, with a limp sort of smile. “Didn’t think it would mean that much to ya.” “I see,” Silver nodded, accepting this excuse immediately. “Well, normally, I wouldn’t mind, but I promised the Prefect of Ramshackle Dorm I’d bring this back to them by sundown. I have to keep my promise; I hope you understand.” “I understand you’re a goody two shoes,” mumbled Taoka to himself. “What was that? I didn’t quite hear you,” Silver checked, sincerely. “Oh, uh…nothin’. Yeah. I get it, sunshine. Uh…have a good day, and, um…sorry for that.” “You’re forgiven,” smiled Silver, then gave Taoka a patient look. “Although, I should remind you…my name is Silver. I know it sounds a little similar to Sunshine, but I’d appreciate it if you could remember it next time.” “I’ll try,” Taoka said, through gritted teeth, as one of his temples throbbed. Silver did not notice the way the crab fumed as he smiled, bid a polite and sweetheart farewell, and then went off on his way to class again. He also didn’t catch the moment Taoka began to throw a tantrum, stomping his feet angrily behind him before kicking a wall…which he immediately regretted as the hard stones smarted his toes, and he found himself comedically bouncing around on one foot.

Another couple hours went by, Silver had no issues whatsoever. Once again, classes went by as usual, neither Taoka nor Eli tried to snatch the card from his pocket again in any sly way…he almost forgot he had the card on him. Then, as Silver was on his way to the last class of his day, he heard footsteps hurriedly coming down the hall. “Silver! Silver, hold on!” He turned around fast, and was surprised to see James Killian rushing down the hall to meet him, clearly in a state of apparent distress. “What’s the matter?” Silver asked, as James stopped before him, panting deeply, hands on his knees. “Are you alright, James?” “I’m fine, I’m just glad I’ve caught up with you,” James sighed with relief, and smiled thinly at Silver. “I was asked to deliver a message to you earlier, but I haven’t been able to find you! I’m so happy to finally get hold of you.” “What message?” Silver asked, cocking his head to the left. “Is it from Lilia? Or Malleus?” “Neither,” James said with a shake of his head, and then straightened up. “It’s actually from the Prefect. They asked me to take that playing card of theirs off your hands.” Silver’s eyes widened…then narrowed. “Did they really?” “Yes!” James smiled. “You see, I happen to be working with them on the project that card is for. I’m not allowed to say what it’s about, I’m afraid, but-” “Why didn’t the Prefect just come get it themselves?” Silver interrupted. “Why send you?” “Because Grim is having an appalling sneezing fit at Ramshackle,” James droned. “They and the ghosts are trying to make sure his infernal ‘achoo-ing’ won’t burn down the mansion.” Silver nodded slowly, processing that: it sounded plausible. He knew Grim had been sick lately. “Well…if what you say is true, I can give you the card, but-” “You’re worried I would lie to a friend?” James checked, giving the best impression of puppy dog eyes he could manage. Silver smiled gently and apologetically. “It’s not that, exactly, just…I DID promise the Prefect that I’d be the one to bring it to them. I’d feel a lot better if I could be CERTAIN it would reach them without my help.” James hummed thoughtfully, putting a finger to his chin as he closed his eyes. “Yes,” he murmured. “I do understand your dilemna…if only there was a way you could check…” His eyes shot open and he grinned. “Check! THAT’S IT!” he cheered, snapping his fingers, and then bowed to Silver. “Here I shall give ye me solemn word, Silver: I believe you were told you had to get the card to the Prefect by sundown, unharmed, yes?”

“Yes,” Silver conceded, looking suspicious. “But how did you-?” “The Prefect told me,” James dismissed. “I’ll make you a deal: why don’t you stop by Ramshackle this evening, after you finish your last class. I will be there, with the Prefect, and if they do not have the very same card with them, undamaged…well. Then you may report me as you see fit. And if I am caught in such a precarious state, I will neither protest nor fight against any consequences I have to go through. It’s simple, isn’t it? Either I’m there, with them and the card, or I’m not.” Silver thought about this proposition. To be honest, while some might say it was much too easy…it seemed fair enough. If James broke his promise, he’d know immediately. And if he knew who had taken something another schoolmate needed, then James could immediately be investigated against. “I would advise you to decide quickly,” James urged, indicating a nearby clock. “I know you only have a little time till class begins.” Silver hummed as he mulled over the offer…then nodded. “Alright,” he agreed, and held up a finger. “BUT. Remember this: the Prefect is not only my friend, but the friend of Malleus. If you ARE lying, if you DO take this card and do something with it without their permission, I WILL come after you, and so will the rest of Diasomnia. Breaking the trust of a friend is something none of us will ever permit. I don’t say this to threaten you, simply to warn you of the consequences.” “Most deeply understood,” intoned James, with a respectful bow of his head. “I give you my word: this card will find its way into the hands of the Prefect, thoroughly unsullied, by sundown if not sooner. And I will obligingly wait at Ramshackle Dorm for you to check in to make sure our bargain is kept.” “Good,” smiled Silver, and removed the card from his pocket before giving it to James. “There you go. Be careful with it.” “I shall indeed,” James promised, and inspected the Ace of Hearts briefly before placing it in his own coat pocket. He bowed again. “Good day, Silver. See you this evening.” Silver bid James farewell, and the two parted ways. As they walked off in different directions, James cackled to himself and twirled his cane, a spritely spring in his step.

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“Like taking candy from a baby!” James Killian crowed. “Really, that was too easy!”

Silver gaped, looking rather bewildered at the gathering before him. Ruggie was laughing like a madman in one corner of the room, while James was standing on a couch, holding the Ace of Hearts he’d been given high over his head. Elias and Taoka were each shouting at him as they jumped up and down to try and snatch it away.

All the while, you were in your favorite chair, pinching your brow, praying for the Gods to give you strength.

“YOU CHEATED!” Taoka screamed. “YOU ABSOLUTELY CHEATED!”

“Cheated? I?!” James gasped, placing a hand to his chest. “You dare to impugn me honor, sir?!”

“The rules stated you couldn’t ask for help!” Elias growled. “You BROKE them!”

“Did I?” James crooned, oh-so-innocently, then looked over at you. “Prefect!”

You opened one eye and peeked between your fingers. “Yes?” you groaned, half-muffled by your own hand. “As I recall, the EXACT wording of the rules was we could not ask others who weren’t involved for help…” “Right,” you confirmed, droningly. “...And we also could not tell others who didn’t know about the contest’s details…well…the details! Am I right again?” “You are.” “Well,” grinned James, waving the card playfully. “I never once told Silver what this little card was for, exactly. Simply told him what he ALREADY knew: that it was for a special project. I also told him I was involved in that project: this was not a lie, and it gave no indication what the project was. As he held the card KNOWINGLY in his possession, and was totally and completely AWARE of the fact he had to hand it in for this ‘project,’ he was already quite involved! Indeed, as I recall, the Prefect flat-out stated that they had ‘involved another party!’ Be not all of this correct?” “Every word,” you begrudgingly agreed. “So there!” James laughed with a grand gesture, pointing at you with his cane as he smiled mockingly down at Elias and Taoka. “I have broken no rules at all, I have brought the card here, it is undamaged, it was given to me under what were not the most honest pretenses, which I would classify as stealing…and to top it all off…” He looked towards Silver. “...You’ll see that I have kept my word. The sundown is arriving, and this card…” James hopped down from his seat and bowed theatrically as he handed the Ace of Hearts to you. “...Is safely and securely in the Prefect’s oh-so-lovely hands. Let it never be said James Killian would break a promise!” You mouthed the words “thank you” as you took the card from him with a wry smile. Taoka and Eli looked over at Ruggie desperately, clearly hoping he’d intervene. The hyena was still giggling fit to burst, covering up his laugh with one fist as his other hand clutched his belly. “I think he’s got you both dead to rights,” he snickered. “Great way to find a loophole, James! Shishishishi!” “Several loopholes, thank you,” James smirked with a slight sniff, fluffing up his jacket lapels as he held his head high and proud. “They are among my specialties.” Silver had watched all of this with a completely flummoxed expression. Finally, his eyes turned almost pleadingly onto your own face. “I’m…a bit lost,” he finally said, realizing he had a chance to talk. “Have I been fooled? Did…did I let you down?” Noting the deep worry and sadness in his voice at those last words, you shook your head, stood up, and crossed the room to place a hand on Silver’s shoulder.

“Not at all,” you promised him, solemnly, and smiled up at him. “Kind of the opposite, actually. I got what I needed, and the project I told you about is still going well. Thank you for your help, Silver. I promise, I’ll tell you everything soon, and you’ll understand better then.” Silver still looked VERY befuddled, but he seemed to accept your answer. He smiled tenderly, and bowed his head respectfully. “Well…if you say so, then I’ll take my leave,” he said. “I’m still not exactly sure what all this was about, or what just happened, but…if you say I helped, then you are welcome for it.” “Thank you again,” you nodded back. “Now go on and get back to your dorm; Elias will be there soon, too. And please try not to fall asleep on the way there, okay? I don’t want Sebek roaring down my front door trying to figure out where you’ve gone.” Silver yawned heavily, but said he’d try not to. Then, he departed. Sighing heavily, you turned back to the room, clapping your hands together to get everyone’s attention. Eli and Taoka were pouting where they sat like spoiled brats. James, meanwhile, looked like a proud teacher’s pet. Ruggie was still biting his lip, shoulders shaking with barely-repressed laughter. “Well!” you finally said, in your best “announcer” voice. “With that out of the way, all three of you are tied! There’s only one test left to go, and one card left to gather: the Ace of Spades. Whoever picks that up will be the champion.” “What’s the final problem?” Elias asked. “It better be worth all this,” grunted Taoka. “You’ll find that out tomorrow,” Ruggie interjected, and smirked as he jabbed a thumb towards his chest. “A certain someone - who will remain anonymous, but happens to be incredibly smart, good-looking, and has a name that rhymes with ‘Muggy’ - has to get the last challenge ready first.” “That will be dealt with by morning,” you agreed. “Tomorrow, show up here at ten in the morning to get your instructions. Then we’ll see who wins the whole thing.” “Might as well throw in the towel, gentlemen!” grinned James as he swaggered out of the room. “I warned you from the start…!” “Oh, don’t start with us!” snapped Elias. “Who won the first challenge to begin with?! This game WILL go to the Phantom Blot, mark my words!” “Ha! I think you’ll both be left eatin’ dust after I dazzle ya with what I’ve got!” Taoka taunted. “Tomorrow’s MY day, wait and see!” The three were still snapping at each other like jackals as they finally left the manor. You sighed and sank back into your chair again. Ruggie gave you a smirk as he lay on his belly upon the loveseat. His tail wagged, his legs kicked above him, and he rested his chin on his arms in the armest. “Well? Not going so well, is it?” he teased. “That depends on perspective,” you said, coolly. “Yeah, and my perspective is it ain’t!” Ruggie jeered. “Shishishishi! I mean, they’re all tied up, and clearly they aren’t getting along at all! All you’re gonna do by the end of this is earn MORE arguments, now!” “Not necessarily,” you smiled. “I have a feeling this final challenge will really turn the tables. You sure you’re up to the challenge of getting it set up?” “Psh. Getting set up is gonna be easy-peasy,” Ruggie shrugged. “They’re the ones doin’ the REAL hard work, not me. I better be gettin’ that special reward, still, though!”

“You will,” you vowed. “Tomorrow, after you set things up, you’ll get what I promised you…” “My stomach is already excited,” Ruggie said, mouth watering even now. “...And we’ll see if my plan works at all,” you added, then murmured to yourself, “Or if they end up killing each other…at this point, anything is possible…”

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The following morning, at ten ‘o clok sharp, the three thieves arrived at Ramshackle Dorm. Elias rang the doorbell. James knocked with his cane. Taoka peered through the glass. When they realized no one was coming to answer the door - not yourself, not Ruggie Bucchi, not even the ill Grim or any of the happy haunts - they checked the knob. Finding that door was surprisingly unlocked, all three carefully crept into the old, eerie house, and headed towards the lounge. The lounge, too, they found empty. No food. No drinks. And certainly no sign of their judge or co-conspirator. “Okay…now this is gettin’ kinda creepy,” mumbled Taoka. “They DID say ten o’ clock, didn’t they?” Elias wondered. “They did,” confirmed James…then pointed with his cane as he noticed something. “I believe the solution to our present predicament may rest there.” Laying upon the chair where you usually sat was a plain white envelope. It was sealed with red wax. The three bandits looked at each other, then approached the seat. Taoka picked up the envelope and cautiously undid it. He pulled out the folded piece of paper within…then grimaced, agitated, as Elias snatched it up and read the message aloud… “The final task,” the letter read, “Will be solved in the room of the most difficult yet careless person to steal from in the entire school. Better try to get ahead. You are to meet me and Ruggie at a rendezvous point, which I will list at the bottom of this message. The first to bring me the Ace of Spades wins. Your time starts now.” “The most difficult yet careless person to steal from?” murmured James. “Now, who on Earth could that be?” “I can think of several people who’d be hard to steal from, but they ain’t that careless,” Taoka said. “The same goes in reverse, actually: I can think of lots of careless idiots, but they’d be pretty easy to rob.” “You don’t think they mean Silver again?” James suggested. “No, I doubt it,” Eli said, shaking his head. “The Prefect has too good a head on their shoulders to try the same person twice in a-” He paused. His eyes widened. “Oh,” he whispered. “I don’t like the sound of that,” gulped Taoka. “Do you think you know who it is?” James inquired. “Yes,” Elias nodded, and looked at each of them as he lowered the message and pointed to the typed words upon it. “‘Better get ahead.’ I think it’s a pun.” “But we’re not stealing someone’s head! Just a playing card!” frowned Taoka. “That’s not the gag,” sighed Elias, exhaustedly. “Think about it: who is ‘a head’ at this school that is both careless and yet hard to rob? Somebody who is in charge, but isn’t very responsible, and yet would be really difficult to steal from?” It took a few moments for Killian and Latronis to recognize what Inque was hinting at. When they did, each groaned… “Oh, they’ve gotta be kidding,” snorted Taoka. “Odds, bobs, hammer and tongs, that’s asking too much!” James complained. “Not if I’m reading this letter correctly,” Elias said. “If I’m right, my fellow thieves…then our final target is the Headmage himself: Dire Crowley.” “You don’t have to say every other line like a cliffhanger, y’know,” Taoka muttered, crossing his arms huffily.

The half-dog merely growled with irritation.

“Perhaps you’ll be less quick to criticize me when I use my power to slip into his desk unnoticed,” he slithered.

“How ya gonna do that?” snorted Taoka. “The Headmage doesn’t hold Special Lessons today, which means he’s gonna be in that office most of the day sorting out paperwork. Plus, you don’t know where in or on the desk they’ve stowed the card!” “Oh, indeed?” huffed Elias. “Well, I don’t suppose YOU’VE got any ‘bright’ ideas, flashy-pants? Distracting him with YOUR Unique Magic will be way too obvious, and you don’t know where the card is, either!” Taoka opened his mouth to snap something back…when suddenly James broke into the conversation. “BRIMSTONE AND GALL! SILENCE, YE FOOLS!” he roared…but not with anger. His face was split into a wide, scheming smile. “You’ll break me concentration. I see the way to do it!” “And why should we let you plan things out and get ahead of us?” sneered Taoka. “I’m not planning things out for myself!” protested James…then paused and thought for a second. “Well…alright, maybe I’m doing it A LITTLE for myself, but…the truth is, I can’t think of a way I could get to it on my own, either. But then, maybe I don’t have to! Maybe none of us have to!” Taoka and Eli looked at each other, then back at James, their noses crinkled slightly. “I don’t understand what you’re getting it,” the self-proclaimed Phantom Blot said slowly. “You know we can’t ask others for help.” “Not entirely true,” James said, lifting one finger in emphasis and waggling it about as he winked, a sneaky gleam in his chocolate-hued eyes. “I’ll remind you again, as I reminded you after the previous test: the rules specifically dictated we couldn’t ask others who weren’t involved for help. But I’d say all three of us, without a single shred of stretching the truth, certainly count as involved. Wouldn’t you agree?” “Whoa, whoa, time out!” Taoka interjected, gesturing with his hands. “Are you suggesting that we…work together?” James nodded, still grinning. “And how would that benefit any of us?” Elias demanded to know, crossing his arms and arching one eyebrow. “Yeah, unless you wanna tussle over the card after we get it,” Taoka snorted. James shrugged. “I thought we might cross that bridge after we reached it,” he replied. Taoka and Elias still looked skeptical. “Look,” James said, placing his hands together and taking a patience-seeking breath before he went on: “Each of us wants to prove the same thing. Each of us wants to get the same thing. But I think each of us feels there’s no easy way to manage this without at least one other person’s help. And as there’s nobody else we can rely on…the best thing to do is to rely on each other. Just this once. I’d much rather pool our respective assets than scramble about and have none of us succeed at all. So…” He held out one hand. “...Shake hands?” The crab and the dog looked down at James’ hand, then back up at him, with bored looks. Each had heard of James’ Unique Magic. They weren’t shaking his tattooed hand. “Oh. Apologies,” chuckled James with embarrassment, and promptly switched hands. “Old habits. Anyway…a truce?” This time, there was (somewhat) less hesitation. First, Elias shook Killian’s hand, then Taoka, and then the two shook hands with each other to make up the difference. “Truce,” agreed Eli with a nod. “We’ll work together to sort out this final problem.” “I don’t suppose you’ve got any ideas of how to do this, do ya, fishsticks?” Taoka guessed. “As a matter of fact,” smirked James, “I just might…”

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Headmaster Crowley of Night Raven College sighed past dark-painted lips, his eyes narrowed in irritation behind his crow-like mask. Two fingers pinched his brow in the space between his top hat and the mask, as his other hand busily scratched away with an old-fashioned quill pen across pieces of paper. “Bills, bills, and - what a shock - more bills,” he grumbled to himself, rustling through it all with another heavy sigh. “And they wonder why I worry so much about funding for this place…oh! Would you look at that? An extra fee! Why in the name of Chernabog do we need to pay an extra fee FOR THE WINDOWS?! I swear to-!” A sudden knock at the door caused Crowley to jump and yelp almost comically as he was disturbed from his thoughts. He cursed beneath his breath as he dropped a couple of papers in the process. As he picked them up hastily, he heard a voice call out from beyond the door… “Headmage! Are you busy? May I come in?” “Yes, yes, by all means! Just one moment!” Crowley called back, eager for something, ANYTHING to distract him from the unfathomable horrors of paperwork and taxes. He sorted the papers back into place, straightened himself up, and adopted his best “proper and businesslike dean” pose before clearing his throat. “Ahem…there now. Please, come in!” The door opened. Crowley recognized the student who approached immediately from their gold-topped cane and purple bandana. “Mr. Killian!” he greeted. “How may I be of assistance?” “Oh, it’s nothing of great issue, Headmage, I assure you,” James replied, with a bow as obsequious as his vocal tone, and approached the desk. “I simply wanted to ask if you’d looked over my recent proposition.” Crowley blinked three times fast. His face was an absolute blank. There was absolutely nothing going on behind those masked eyes. James bit back a bit of his own personal aggravation and patiently reminded the head of the college: “I sent in an official proposition for a new club here at the school. The sailing club, you may recall?” “Oh! Of course!” exclaimed Dire Crowley, snapping his fingers as he was reminded at last. “My apologies, Mr. Killian: the rigors of my job have made it difficult for me to focus on extracurricular matters lately.” “More than understandable, Headmage,” James said, smoothly, and asked to be seated. Once he was given permission, he sat down before the desk. He glanced over the top of it quickly; he saw no sign of the Ace of Spades.

It was either inside or under the desk then. He casually, but firmly, tapped his cane on the floor… “Not quite so hard,” the Headmage warned. “The carpet has just been cleaned.” “Sorry!” James chirped, and lifted his cane up to rest in his lap. “Now, do you have any idea when you may get a chance to look over my proposition, sir?” Crowley paused, then folded his hands before him as he shifted in his seat. “To tell you the truth, Mr. Killian, most clubs at this school run by their own rules. Which is to say, while your proposition for an official club is appreciated…you by no means require MY certificate of approval to get it running. What you really need is a good idea of what this club will be about, and then to find if there are any students interested. My approval is only required if the facilities need help from a person in authority.” James nodded. Silently, he knew this. He’d actually given up on Crowley getting around to his proposition at all, and was ready to simply begin with whatever and whoever he could find: if the Gargoyle Club, for instance, could involve all of one single person, then he hardly needed more people than Smitty and himself. However, none of this was the real reason he was there. So, he kept talking to the Headmage - “I know, sir, but I feel an official statement would be useful…” - as he waited for the rest of the scheme to go into action… Meanwhile, up on the roof, at the top of the tower where Crowley’s office stood, six strong, crustaceous, sharp-tipped legs gripped tightly to the steep slope. Taoka Latronis shuddered and groaned till his shell rattled, as he waited impatiently in his true form as a crab-taur. His antennae twitched as his pincers helped to grip the roof and ensure he wouldn’t fall. He whined and trembled as the wind whistled through the gaps in his armor. “Oooooooogh…don’t look down…don’t look down…Gods, I’m gonna be sick,” he groaned, turning a bit green in the proverbial gills as he felt waves of something like vertigo rolling through him. “I’m not supposed to be this high up, how did I let them talk me into this…?!” He was distracted from his fear when he heard the signal: keen senses picked up the sound of James’ cane thumping on the floor of the office within. That was Taoka’s cue. He took a deep breath, muttering to himself - “Whew…okay, okay, you got this, yooouuu got this…” - and began to steadily, cautiously, carefully creep across the roof on his decapod legs, moving closer and closer to the edge and to the windows below. When he had gotten far enough, Taoka very, VERY carefully - for both the sake of stealth and his own precarious safety - reached down to place one hand near the window pane. Crowley, inside, was still too busy chatting with James to notice anything, and had not heard the sound of the tip-tapping claws atop his roof. This was the moment both Killian and Latronis had counted on. James’ eyes briefly caught a glimpse of Taoka’s hand reaching down, and counted silently in his head… Three…two…one… ZAM!

Dire Crowley - in the middle of a spiel about costs - suddenly cried out as there was a vibrant flash of yellow light that sparked through the room and blinded him. It seemed as bright as the Sun, if not brighter! He shielded his eyes, as his vision became blurry. James had timed things perfectly. He had shut his eyes quickly and tightly in the split-second before the flash went off. For added protection, he’d covered them with his bandana. As soon as he felt the glow dissipate, he uncovered and opened them up again, and then quickly got up from his chair. “Headmage!” he exclaimed. “Are you alright? What’s the matter?” “You…you didn’t see?” Crowley gasped, trying to scrub at his eyes through his mask. “See what?” James asked, feigning thorough innocence. “The light!” Crowledy sputtered. “It…it nearly blinded me!” James looked concerned and let out a thoughtful hum. “I think perhaps you’ve been overworking, sir,” he said, and approached Crowley. “Perhaps we should see about getting you to the infirmary, if your eyes are in such bad shape.” Crowley began to stutter and stammer about how that wasn’t necessary, but it was too late. James was quickly ushering him out of his own office and towards the nursing area of the castle. As he did so, Taoka very steadily began clamber down the side of the tower, scaling the walls as he descended in his appropriately crablike way. While both Killian and Latronis retreated, the last member of the party made his move. Out of a nearby air vent - just as had been the case with the very first challenge - a slithering rope of ink came swirling out and made its way towards the Headmage’s desk. The owner soon found the card: it was taped to the bottom of Crowley’s desk. The inky appendage snatched it up - this time without leaving a calling card of his own in place - and dragged it back through the slats, leaving the room empty. The final challenge had been completed.

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“UUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRUUUUP!” “Excuse you.” “Heh…oh, c’mon, you know you love that - URP! - sound.” You blushed, unable to deny this, as you nibbled a sandwich mousily in the restaurant in Port Town where you had arranged to rendezvous with the rest of those involved in the great contest. It was the same fine establishment Jack Howl and others had managed to rescue at the first Port Fest NRC joined in. Ruggie knew it well. This did nothing to curb his enthusiasm as he stuffed his face with an assortment of doughnuts you had purchased, licking off specks of honey glaze and powdered sugar from his lips before his jagged teeth tore into another baked delight as he scarfed them down like a famine was coming on. Another empty box stood near him…and a third, yet-to-be-opened box rested at his other side. “I’ve gotta give you credit, Prefect!” he sputtered through a full mouth, spitting out speckles of food between chews…then swallowed down his mouthful and licked his teeth clean before continuing: “When you settle a debt, you REALLY know how to do it!” “When I remember how to stop blushing for five seconds, I’ll say you’re welcome,” you muttered, half to Ruggie and half to yourself, as you watched him wolf down his food. Ruggie snickered in response as he shoved an entire chocolate eclair into his mouth. His eyes rolled and he moaned as he savored the sweet, creamy goodness that flowed over his tastebuds and filled his cheeks. He swallowed it loudly, then grimaced and thumped his chest before letting out a hiccuping burp. “HIC-URLCH! Oof…that one didn’t go down so smooth,” he mumbled, and sipped on a bit of soda he’d ordered himself to help wash the masticated goodness down. You had to hold back the urge to squeak, saying nothing. You were almost grateful when you heard the ting-a-ling of the entrance bell, and then rapid footsteps approaching the table. You knew who it had to be before they even got there. A glimmer of satisfaction flickered inside of you as you saw Ruggie freeze with a look of absolute amazement, the last doughnut of the second box halfway to his mouth. “WE GOT IT! WE GOT IT!” a chorus of three voices cheered, as they raced over to you. “Hey, hey, keep your voices down!” you giggled, as the trio of thieves approached you, each with beaming, excited faces. They looked like a triumphant bunch of schoolkids after a baseball match. You held out one hand, and Elias bowed theatrically before flipping the Ace of Spades out of his sleeve and handing it to you. You briefly inspected it, then offered it to Ruggie; Bucchi took a second to wipe his fingers clean and then plucked it from your own fingertips. “Yep,” he nodded in confirmation, when he sensed the marking spell he’d placed on the item. “This is the one! Great job, Elias!” “Oh, I can’t take complete credit, as much as I wish I could,” Eli confessed, and gestured to where Taoka and James stood on either side of him, each with their chests puffed out in a show of pride. “I was the one who snatched up the card…but I couldn’t have done it if these two hadn’t provided the distraction.” “Isn’t that how things worked with Azul?” Ruggie pointed out. “Not exactly, my good fellow!” James corrected. “With Azul, there was no cooperation at all. But then I remembered how well that HAD gone for our Phantom friend…” “...And how well my light had worked in the lab,” Taoka put in. “...And we figured we could all work together to use the same method to get the final prize,” Elias finished. Ruggie stared…then, he started to laugh so hard he nearly fell out of his chair. “OH!” he gasped out between cackles. “OH - HA HA HA HA HA - I GET IT! I FINALLY GET IT! OH, THAT WAS THE PLAN ALL ALONG! HA HA HA! OH, THAT’S INCREDIBLE, THEY ACTUALLY FELL FOR IT! HA HA HEE HEE HEE HEE HA!”

All three thieves were rather taken aback by his sudden show of mirth as he wiped tears from his eyes and clutched his stuffed belly. They saw you looking up at them, clearly holding back giggles of your own, and frowned. “What’s so funny?” all three asked at once. You couldn’t hold back the giggles anymore, but you still managed to answer. “Don’t you see?” you told them. “None of you won! And none of you lost. You all got the last card together, so none of you can take the final prize as your own! And with each of you having one card to their name apiece…” “IT’S A TIE!” Ruggie cackled. “NONE OF YOU ARE BETTER THAN THE OTHERS!” All three of them - the scavenging crab, the scarlet pirate, and the phantom thief - looked so distraught at this news, it only made things funnier. You finally managed to calm down your own peals of laughter before standing and looking seriously at them. “Don’t you three see?” you urged. “You ALL are great at what you do. You all know how to use your own skills to your advantage, and all of you have a lot of practice at finding ways to get the job done. Whether it’s in thievery or theatre, singing or stealing, boating or burglary…all three of you are among the best! What’s the point in fighting over it to begin with? You can do so much more and get along so much better by simply realizing you are EQUALS.” The trio squirmed where they stood, your words clearly affecting them. They almost seemed shamefaced as they glanced at one another. “You know,” Taoka finally spoke up. “They’ve got a point. I mean…I’ve had a lot of experience picking pockets, and my light makes for a great distraction…but I don’t have a silver tongue like the Little Codfish does.” “That’s very true,” James smirked, then paused before adding, “Having said that, both of you have signature spells that give you a decided advantage. Without my ability to persuade and find loopholes, I’m at a decided loss.” “And for as much as I can play things up and use my ink to slip into tight spaces, I’m helpless if I’m caught and don’t have a good alibi,” Elias admitted with a shrug, and chuckled. “Heh…I guess you guys really are great thieves. More than a match for the Phantom Blot.” “And you are each worthy opponents,” James agreed, and bowed. “It has been an honor to compete against you, gentlemen.” “Yeah,” Taoka nodded, with a warmer sort of smile than usual, a look bordering on affection in his eyes. “You guys ain’t half bad. I’ll admit it.” You smiled triumphantly as the three shared amiable, friendly smiles, and looked over at Ruggie as if to say, See? Told you so. Ruggie just rolled his eyes and sipped more of his fizzy orange soda. “In fact,” Taoka went on, “I think the three of us could be onto something with this!”

Confused, you turned back towards the trio. Their smiles had gone from warm and friendly to snakish and sly. “Uh…wh-what do you mean by that?” you stammered. “Well, isn’t it obvious?” Taoka chuckled. “If the three of us are able to match each other’s strengths and weaknesses…” “Ohhhhh…then think of all the things we could steal working together, instead of apart!” grinned James, rubbing his hands together with glee. “Ha! I was just considering the same thing!” Elias barked out, and adjusted his glasses with a sinister grin. “Why…we’d be next to unstoppable!” “Not a single security officer could ever snag us!” James cheered. “Why, it’s BRILLIANT!” “Ohhh, all the shiny things we could take from Pomefiore!” Taoka cackled. “Not to mention from any museum we visited, or any bank we had to stop by, or any food stall we wished!” “Right!” Elias said, and held out his hand. “Let’s make a pact, comrades! From this point on, instead of rivals, we shall be partners in crime! ALL SHALL BOW BEFORE TEAM BLOT!” “We’ll work on the name, babe,” droned Taoka, but he held out his hand anyway. “Still…yeah! Partners in crime!” “Here here!” crowed James in agreement, as he put his hand in and the three whooped and laughed as they broke it up like a team before a football match. “Come, shipmates! There’s a tune in my soul, and fine seas ahead for us all! Let us plot!” And the three sauntered off and out of the restaurant, with James leading them in a merry shanty - “Hey-Ho! Imagine the places that we’ll go! No one will stop us, so one, two, three! They will all cower in fear…!” - and disappeared. You gulped anxiously, your expression having changed from joy to despair as you looked back at Ruggie. Bucchi just grinned teasingly, wagging his tail. “I wanted them to get along.” “Uh-huh. I know you did.” “So that I wouldn’t have more to worry about.” “Yep-yep. I know that’s why.” “...I just…gave myself even more to worry about instead…didn’t I?” “Hmmm…maaaaybe,” Ruggie sang with a wink. “Seems like your plan worked a little too well.” “Oh, gee. Ya think?” Ruggie snickered and threw his hands up. “Shishishishi! Hey, what can we say? That’s just the Night Raven College Spirit, Prefect,” he said, as he flipped open the third box of doughnuts and pulled a cruller from the collection. “Take what you can…” He bit into the doughnut, ripping it in half before finishing: “...Give nothing back.” All you could do was groan and sigh as you let your head fall into your hands. “I hate this place sometimes,” you mumbled. Not even the sound of another mocking belch from Ruggie could brighten your mood, at that point. Sometimes, contest or no contest…you just couldn’t win.

Indeed, it had been Vil who had - with surprising generosity - arranged the interview Taoka was heading to: the on-campus restaurant, the Mostro Lounge, had announced that it was going to be seeking performers for a live house band. Before this, all music at the Lounge simply came from the radio playing over the loudspeakers. Now, for at least some part of the day, there would be live musical accompaniment for diners to enjoy. Taoka had all but leapt at the chance…but had hesitated when he realized where the Lounge was. Surprisingly, Taoka had never come to Octavinelle before, let alone the Mostro Lounge. He didn’t know much about the place, except that it was supposed to be a very ritzy sort of joint. He had no idea who ran the restaurant…although he DID know who ran Octavinelle. For his fellow Pomefiore students, the shudder of fear that went through him at the thought of THEM was a total mystery…but anyone with knowledge of marine biology would probably guess the reason. “It’s alright,” Taoka said to himself, taking a deep breath as he came nearer and nearer to the famous place. “Just keep calm an’ show ‘em yer stuff. Long as THEY aren’t around, ya got nothin’ to fear. Heh…in fact, they oughta be afraid of YOU. That’s right, babe! You go in an’ show ‘em yer stuff…an’ if they don’t like it? Maybe ya got other ways of makin’ sure you see eye to eye…” Snickering with wicked anticipation, Taoka picked up his pace, adjusting the guitar case strap. It was only moments later that he finally found himself at the Lounge. Unlike the halls, the fine restaurant was packed full of chattering customers, all laughing and gabbing between bites of food and sips of fruity drinks. Chandeliers with lights shaped like jellyfish provided an almost ethereal illumination to the place, accompanied by the bioluminescent algae beyond the huge pane of glass on one of the walls, like a giant aquarium. Taoka whistled, impressed by the expertly-made, expensive-looking furnishings and rich decor. “Whew! This place is even fancier than I figured,” he chuckled. He sniffed at the air…and then let out what could only be described as a sort of wincing sigh as he picked up the scent of seafood and other savory things. His empty belly whined needily, and he gave it a pat, rubbing at it through his vest and shirt. “Easy there, stomach,” he almost pouted. “Yer gonna get plenty to play with soon enough. Business first.” Nodding to himself, Taoka stepped further into the Lounge, and looked around. It wasn’t long till he saw an employee - dressed in the almost mafia-esque costume of an Octavinelle Dorm Uniform - standing at the reception desk. However, they seemed to be a bit more concerned with the cellphone in their hands than with any new arrivals. Taoka smirked and approached the desk, knocking on it with his gloved hand. “Hey,” he grunted. “Eyes up here, babe.”

The receptionist yelped, fumbling with their phone and jolting slightly. Taoka’s smirk widened as his eyes narrowed; a quick look up and down the student’s form showed him the familiar sight of a seagull’s feathered tail, sprouting from the small of their back. The gull demi had a round face and a plump body, with eyes of a warm, rich, yellow-amber color; the sweet hue of honey. “Oh! Uh…h-hello there, sir,” the gull-demi chirped out, quickly trying to compose himself. “Welcome to the Mostro Lounge. Do you have a reservation?” Taoka hummed in the back of his throat as he leaned forward on the reception desk. The gull took a step back, tail twitching nervously. Taoka’s smirk became a full-on grin, as he noticed the way the little bird boy - about the same age as himself, but noticeably smaller in height - gazed at him with flustered apprehension. His belly rumbled yet again, this time in a lower, almost ominous fashion: while humans could not always recognize it, beast-people of all sorts seemed programmed to recognize their natural predators no matter what form they took. Sometimes it was a scent thing, other times a case of close observation, and still other times it just seemed to be an innate instinct. Either way…crabs like him and little, adorable gulls didn’t exactly get along. And the anxiety in the receptionist’s eyes indicated which side each occupied on the food web. “More of an appointment, really,” Taoka practically purred, his voice smooth and slippery. “Got a Taoka Latronis written down somewhere…” Taoka quickly glanced at the name tag the desk worker wore. “...Larin?” The gull boy - Larin - timidly moved to pick up a clipboard, and scanned through the papers it held. He looked up at Taoka a few times, worriedly; Taoka just smiled patiently. “It’s okay, babe,” he cooed at one point. “If there’s any vacancies…I could just stay for some lunch. I’m gettin’ REAL hungry…” He licked his teeth and cackled as Larin shuddered, the feathers of his tail shaking. Finally, the pudgy little gull found what he was looking for. “Ah! H-Here you are…you, um…y-you have a meeting with the boss, right?” “That’s about the size of it,” Taoka answered with a nod, and jabbed a thumb towards the guitar case on his back. “Lookin’ to become part of the house band I heard he’s making.” “W-Well…I’m sure you’ll do well,” chuckled Larin, with a nervous smile…then all but tip-toed out from behind the desk. Taoka watched every single move the little gull made as he came into full view, never once blinking, his smile remaining sly, seductive, and more than a little predatory. “If you’ll, um…j-just follow me, please.” “Mmmm…lead the way, babe,” rumbled Taoka, in his most sultry voice. He chortled darkly at the quiver that went through the demi-bird, and followed him as Larin led the crab-in-human’s-clothing through the dining area of the Lounge.

The restaurant was large, as well as presently busy; it was not a short trip from the main part of the place to the “backstage” spaces. Taoka twined his way between waiters and customers alike…a couple times, when he saw a particularly cute face, he would give them a light, playful bump with his hip. “Sorry, babe!” he would teasingly chirp, and grin as the human or lesser beastman in question would blush and grumble. Other times, he’d catch some giving him a blushing expression, or even a somewhat frightened look. Awink and a lick of the lips made them hastily avert their eyes, for one reason or another. When he wasn’t teasing the guests and waiting staff, Taoka was smirking at Larin, who kept glancing back over his shoulder, trembling slightly, his feathered tail twitching with every other step. He inhaled and rumbled at the scent of fear that came from the young seagull-man. As they left the crowded dining space, moving past the bar into the quieter, more sparsely-populated backrooms and hall, Taoka moved to stand beside Larin rather than directly behind him. He gave a smug sort of smile to the seagull, who glanced up at him nervously…just in time to see Taoka rubbing his belly, as it let out another greedy gurgle. “Do you all serve chicken here?” he asked, innocently. “I could really go for some poultry right about now…” Larin just whimpered and didn’t answer as he looked away. Taoka sniggered and smiled toothily. He didn’t ACTUALLY plan on eating Larin…at least not today…but, oh, how DELIGHTFUL it was watching him squirm… It wasn’t too long thereafter that they finally reached the entrance to the manager’s office. It was closed off by a large and rather fancy-looking door…par the course, at this point, Taoka supposed. “I’ll go in and announce you,” Larin said, trying to keep up a businesslike tone and demeanor. Taoka nodded, and patiently leaned back against the opposite wall. As Larin entered, he couldn’t help but allow a wicked thought to enter his mind; if the employees and guests of this place were sooo easy to ruffle the feathers of (pun only partially intended), he wondered if their leader would be equally easy to scare and subdue. Oh, he’d play nice, but if they showed any sign of turning him away…well…he WAS genuinely hungry. And humans were such, SUCH good little morsels… Taoka smacked his lips at that thought, but it left almost as soon as it came…at least partially due to Larin’s reappearance as he crept back into the hall from the door. “The boss will see you now,” he said. “Thanks, babe,” Taoka replied. Larin nodded back…then stiffened, his face turning a shade of strawberry as Latronis’ one good hand swept out and cupped his cheek and part of his jawline. The taller boy leaned in close, with a smile like a sea serpent. “Y’know, you’re pretty cute,” he crooned. “Maybe sometime you an’ I can…get some lunch together?” Larin looked utterly mortified…but he was also blushing more than ever. Unable to speak, he just sputtered. Taoka laughed lightly and playfully patted him on the head. “Think about it, chicken,” he teased with a wink, and left Larin to his own devices as he stepped through the doorway and closed it behind him.

Up to now, dearest reader, Taoka had felt confident, and very pleased with himself. He had little fear as he entered the office of the master of the Mostro Lounge. But there are many sayings about those who feel perhaps too much pride, and perhaps abuse their presumed position a bit too much. A lot of them could apply here. For within a matter of about…three seconds, give or take, after entering the office…EVERYTHING changed for Taoka Latronis. Instantly, his confidence seemed to drop into his feet, as a chill fell over his spine. His swaggering peacock posture slackened, and his vainglorious smile seemed to be slapped off his face by an invisible hand. All this was in response to the tall, willowy pair of figures he saw standing ahead of him, one on either side of the large, expensive-looking desk at the other end of the VIP Room. Each was dressed in a dorm uniform, and looked almost identical, from their mismatched eyes of gold and olive, to their teal-toned hairdos, each of which bore a single long, black lock. “You two?” murmured Taoka, voice becoming somewhat shaky. The Leech Twins smiled wider in response to Taoka’s near-whispered words; Jade’s was its usual practiced, patient, cool-and-collected self. Floyd’s grin, meanwhile, showed perhaps a few too many sharp, jagged, dagger-like teeth…teeth that, if they so chose, could easily crush and stab through a crab’s shell, shattering it like fragile glass. Taoka felt nervous in an instant. Perhaps more than anyone else at all of Night Raven, he had good reason to fear the Leech Brothers. Eels, after all, were one of the most prominent natural enemies many crabs had to face. They were part of why he avoided Octavinelle, and why he’d asked Vil to kindly handle arranging the interview…but if he’d known the Twins were working at the Lounge, he wouldn’t have even gone that far. Already, the musician felt his rung on the food chain ladder get lower…he was pondering if he really wanted to stay in the room, when the manager had such fearsome help… …But before he could question this too deeply, a voice finally spoke up. It was smooth and luxurious, but with a certain bold quality that was hard to define. It came from the figure who sat with his back to Taoka, in a large, plush-looking swivel armchair that was presently turned away from the young half-decapod. Over the top of the chair’s back - which, itself, was covered by what looked like a huge gray trenchcoat - Latronis could catch a glimpse of silvery hair. “Never mind them,” the voice from the chair said. “Come in…come in, Mr. Latronis! No need to be shy. After all, we mustn’t lurk in doorways. It’s rude. One can’t make business arrangements like this…” A slender hand, clad in what looked like a white kid glove, stretched out from behind the chair, dropping what appeared to be a manilla folder onto the desk behind the figure. It sat beside a dark-colored fedora. Then, the chair turned around, revealing the bespectacled figure - garbed in a black three-piece suit - who occupied the seat. Eyes the color of the deep blue sea itself zeroed in on Taoka, as a devious, duplicitous smile slid across soft, plump-looking lips, which quirked over a tiny birthmark near the chin. “...Without seeing each other face to face.”

Every drop of color seemed to drain from Taoka Latronis’ face as he immediately recognized the lithe, somewhat curvy person whom he now realized ran the Mostro Lounge. His heart seemed to jump up a few beats as his breath hitched. Every ounce of confidence he still held after seeing the Leech Twins vanished in a split second as terror gripped his very soul. “A-Azul…Ashengrotto?” he exclaimed, his voice unusually high-pitched as it cracked and squeaked. Azul merely smiled wider, folding his hands before him on his desk as he raised one eyebrow. “Yes, that would be me,” he replied. “And I’m glad to see my reputation precedes me.” “Ha Ha Ha! Little Crab Cake makes such silly sooouuunds!” sang out Floyd, grinning and giggling at the squeaky tone of Taoka’s voice. “He usually sounds all cool, but now he’s making noises like a scared flounder! It’s almost cuuuute!” “Now, now, Floyd,” tutted Jade, his own smile and posture completely unchanged. “We mustn’t tease a client. Especially not under such circumstances. I imagine he’s quite nervous enough, considering he’s in a room with three of his kind’s most dangerous and feared natural predators. We must make him feel comfortable. Isn’t that right, Azul?” “Of course,” purred Azul in reply, as he and Jade shared a rather sneaky look with each other. “Just like any client.” He then looked back at Taoka, who was still standing, with knees almost knocking together, near the doorway. “And you ARE a client, aren’t you, Mr. Latronis?” he crooned. Taoka had to repress the urge to let out a moaning, groaning sound of pure, ever-rising dread. Eels were bad enough company for a crab like him…but octopi? They were another story. Above all others in Night Raven College, the mere THOUGHT of the Octopus - of Azul - made Taoka Latronis whimper. In the wild, while crabs had several predators, few were as purely nightmarish as cephalopods: it wasn’t just that they ate crabs that made them frightening. It was the manners and the “morals” (one must note the quotation marks) that octopi had, when feasting on crustaceans, which made them so particularly horrible. Cecaelia like Azul were not much better…in fact, as they had humanoid intelligence, and not just animal hunting instincts, they were arguably even worse. “Helloooo?” Floyd’s voice cut through Taoka’s grim musings. He tilted his head, his smile disappearing as he blinked owlishly. “Ehhhh? What’s the matter, Crab Cake? Catfish got your tongue?” “Perhaps he’s simply speechless at being given the opportunity,” suggested Jade, oh-so-sweetly. Taoka just gulped nervously. “Y-Yeah, well…um…I…” His words failed him. They felt foreign and faint in his own mouth. Floyd’s smile returned and he heard Jade chuckle under his breath. Azul shook his head with apparent amusement, adjusting his glasses in his usual tic. “Come now, Mr. Latronis,” he soothed. “Compose yourself. You came here to audition, didn’t you?” “I…I did, yeah…just…j-just…” “Just what?” Taoka bit his lip before, in an unusually soft voice, admitting: “I didn’t…think I’d be…au-auditioning f-f-for…you.”

Azul blinked just once, cocking his head ever so slightly to the right. “I am the dorm leader of Octavinelle,” he reminded Taoka, in a calm, patient way. “Did you really think anybody else would be in charge of this place? Vil said you wanted to interview with the manager. I am the manager. And the owner. And the Housewarden. In short…no one else COULD be in charge.” Taoka blinked twice…then felt his cheeks heat up as he looked down almost guiltily at his shoes, and kicked at an invisible rock. “Y’know, in hindsight, that’s a good point,” he mumbled under his breath. All three of the Octavinelle trio laughed softly. Azul stretched out a hand, gesturing towards the large, well-cushioned sofas in the center of the room as he rose from his desk. "“Sit down,” he invited. Taoka paused only a moment longer, and then began to take a few steps forward…but on the third step, he saw Azul’s smile widen, and a flicker of what he swore could only be the look of someone who had successfully lured their prey into a trap flashed in those deep blue eyes. Something about that simple gesture IMMEDIATELY killed any amount of courage the crab had. “On second thought, I-I think I’m a little too early!” he suddenly blurted out, and spun around on his heel before briskly marching towards the door. “I’ll just c-come back later, I’m sure you’re very busy-YEEP!” Taoka froze and cowered as - seemingly out of nowhere - Floyd and Jade moved to block the door and bar his way. Each of the twins wore matching fanged smiles that made Taoka’s blood run cold…he felt goosebumps prickle his skin and began to tremble anew as he heard Jade’s stomach bubble, and saw Floyd’s tongue trace the tips of his pointed teeth… …Then the crab boy stiffened and flinched as a long, lean-but-well-toned arm draped itself across his shoulders. With obvious foreboding on his face, Taoka looked to see who the arm belonged to…and thought he might faint as he found Azul Ashengrotto’s smiling face only inches away from his own. “Nonsense, nonsense!” sang Azul, waving his other hand around in a flippant gesture. “I’m never too busy to discuss a potential new employee. And from what your Housewarden tells me, you could be a great…asset to me.” Taoka peeped as he felt Azul’s hip bump against him on those words. He’d teased enough “preythings” to know what that combo of words and gestures meant. “But…but…I’m not so sure that-” “Come,” Azul interrupted, in a firm voice, and Taoka felt the hand on his shoulder grip more tightly, hinting at the octopus’ harnessed strength…something very few at Night Raven ever suspected, given his aversion to great physical exertion. “Have a seat.” Azul thus led Taoka to the twin couches in the center of the office. The whole time, his smile never faded, and he never blinked, smiling at Taoka with a sort of thinly-veiled anticipation. Taoka gave a very, VERY nervous smile in return; already he could imagine that collected smirk transforming into a gaping set of jaws, ready to consume him, or a set of tentacles forming from where the octo-man’s legs were, ready to ensnare him…but such nightmarish imagery did not come to pass. Still, Taoka found it hard to relax, even as he sat on the (admittedly VERY nice and well-cushioned) sofa. Azul sat directly across from him, prim and proper. Taoka considered rising and trying to make another break for it…but he felt the presence of the Leech Twins behind him before he could act on it.

“Now then,” Azul began, crossing his arms over his chest and slinging one leg over the other as he leaned back in his own seat. “Is there anything you want to say before we start?” The question sounded a bit too much like Azul was asking him if he had any last words for Taoka’s personal comfort. Nevertheless, Taoka realized that there was no turning back now: he removed his guitar case and placed it on the seat beside him on the sofa. He was here for an audition, it was time to get serious. Still scared, the crabby youth tried to compose himself, straightening his posture and opening his mouth to speak…only to be interrupted when his stomach let out a VERY loud and greasy gurgle. Azul’s smile fell in an instant, his eyes widening. Now worried the sound would ruin the interview, Taoka’s nerves rang alarm bells…but before he could apologize, Floyd’s face suddenly lurched into view, as the gangly eel-man dropped his head onto the back of the couch, chin in his folded arms as he looked directly into the seated decapod’s purple eyes. “Awww…is Crab Cake hungryyyyy?” crooned Floyd. Breath that stank too much OF crab cakes puffed into Taoka’s face, making the musician cough briefly. Nervously, he nodded. Azul tutted and shook his head. “Oh, dear…I hate conducting business when my client has an empty stomach,” he declared, and smiled indulgently. “Would you care for a bite?” Taoka was very, VERY afraid of answering that question, with so many crab-munching creatures surrounding and smiling at him…but he finally managed to nod, tugging on his collar afterwards. Had it gotten warmer in this room…? “Ah…ha ha…i-if by that ya mean a totally normal, not-involving-my-shell kind of snack, then…I guess I wouldn’t mind,” he said. He tried to sound like he was joking, but somehow he knew he had failed. Azul let out a sort of scoffing laugh. “Of course,” he replied. He seemd almost offended. “Really, I’m not like those fuzzy mongrels in Savanaclaw. You don’t think I’d seriously consider taking a bite out of a possible employee, do you?” “Yeah! We just swallow them whole!” teased Floyd. “Floyd, don’t fib,” Jade scolded, but his own smile never disappeared once. “You know the rules: we don’t eat them till AFTER they fail an interview.” Taoka felt like his lungs were seizing up at those words. Azul just sighed and rolled his eyes, looking almost mournful. “Ignore them,” he advised, seriously. “They do this sort of thing ALL the time.” Taoka said nothing. He silently wondered if “interviewees” made it out of this office alive all the time, too.

“Jade, if you’re quite done terrorizing our guest and client, could you perhaps see about having some of the special served in here, along with an appropriate drink of choice.” “Will sparkling lemonade suffice?” Jade asked, politely. “Yes, that should do nicely,” Azul nodded, and smiled back at Taoka. “No objections?” “N-Nope! None here, um…boss. Uh, c-can I call you boss?” Azul narrowed his eyes and adjusted his glasses. It was hard to tell what he was thinking about that question. “I think, for now, you can simply call me Azul,” he replied, and then smiled. “After all, upperclassman or not, possible employer or not, we ARE both students of Night Raven College.” The fact Azul had not mentioned the fact he was a superior predator, as well, helped put Taoka a little more at ease. But only a little. Jade bowed to Azul respectfully, then turned to his brother. “Come on, Floyd. I’ll carry the food, you can carry the drinks.” “Ehhhh? Can’t you do it yourself?” pouted Floyd. “Yes, if necessary, but it’s much easier when there’s two,” Jade replied, as if he were speaking to a small child. “But I wanna stay and play with Crab Cake!” whined Floyd, and grinned at Taoka right afterwards. “Maybe I could give him a nice friendly squeeze, huuuuh? See if he’s easier to break in human form than in crab form? I bet he’d be all…CRUNCHY…” If Floyd’s words didn’t scare the Hades out of Taoka, the smile on his face certainly did…but it seemed Jade was in no mood for his brother’s nonsense as, without warning, he stretched out a hand and grabbed Floyd by the ear. “AH! H-HEY! HEY, LEMME GO!” squealed Floyd, scrabbling to break free. Jade just shook his head in amusement, and smiled a calm, tranquil smile as he bowed his head to Taoka, as if this was all totally casual and completely everyday. “Apologies for his forwardness,” he replied. “I’ll be back shortly with some vittles, as requested.” Taoka just blinked. “Uh…r-right, that’s…that’s good, thanks.” Jade smiled a tiny bit wider, then turned and dragged the still yelping and complaining Floyd out of the room, shutting the door to the VIP office behind them both.

Now, the crab was alone with the octopus. For a few moments there was an awkward silence between them. Azul smiled. Just smiled. Taoka noticed the way the restauranteur’s blue eyes seemed to scan up and down his own body. “Ah…m-may I ask you a question?” stammered Taoka, hoping to break the uncomfortable quiet. “If you feel you must,” replied Azul, somewhat cryptically. “How come you agreed to hear me out?” Taoka asked. “I mean…do you just trust Vil’s judgment that much?” “Well, yes, for one thing, I do,” Azul replied, frankly, folding his hands in his lap. “Not only do I consider him to be a particularly dependable and intelligent Housewarden, but I believe he is the single most discerning judge of talent, particularly where the arts are concerned, on the entire campus. The only other person who might rival him there is Professor Crewel. So if he takes the time to recommend someone, even obliquely, I listen.” Taoka nodded in understanding. He supposed all that sounded logical enough. “Besides,” Azul went on, quite casually, but with a smile that was perhaps just slightly too broad, “Based on his description, I could hardly let someone with such good taste go without a chance.” The crab-man quivered till his golden necklace rattled. He really didn’t like the way Azul emphasized three of those words. “Well…wh-what is that chance going to involve?” he asked at length. Azul paused, as if pondering how to answer…but before he could, the door opened up again. Jade and Floyd re-entered the office, one carrying a silver platter, and the other a pair of drinks.

“For your dining pleasure, gentlemen,” purred Jade, as he placed the platter in the center of the glass-topped table, and opened the lid, revealing a steaming dish of freshly-made shrimp scampi. “Yeah, yeah, here ya go,” grumbled Floyd, apparently still grouchy over his earlier treatment as he handed both Taoka and Azul their glasses of sparkling lemonade. He then plucked a couple pairs of chopsticks out of his pocket and gave them to each. Azul placed his chopsticks on the table…then removed one of his gloves, revealing his long, sturdy, yet elegant fingers. Taoka watched as Azul plucked one piece of shrimp up off the plate between his forefinger and thumb, and lifted it up to his face. He paused, smiling as he inspected the piece of seafood…before opening his mouth and tossing the entire shrimp inside. Taoka could hear the sound of Azul’s teeth mulching the cooked meat before a soft swallow sent the masticated stuff down his throat. “Excellent,” he judged, and wiped his fingers on a napkin before replacing the glove on his hand as he looked at the Leech Brothers. “Tell the cooks they’ve done a fine job, when we’re done here.” Jade bowed and murmured that it would be done. Floyd just snorted, placing his hands behind his head and rolling his eyes. “Go ahead,” Ashengrotto urged Latronis, who had watched all of this with rapt attention. He picked up his glass of lemonade as he spoke, tilting it towards Taoka as if in toast. “Try some. You can eat while I explain how this is going to work.” Taoka hesitated for just a moment; the food smelled delicious, but something about the showy way Azul had eaten his first bite had bothered him. Of course, if any of the three had wanted to poison him, it seemed unlikely they’d do so this way. So, he lifted his chopsticks and plucked a piece of shrimp from the scampi. He popped it into his mouth…and immediately felt some his tension ease up as he chewed and swallowed it. The savory, spicy, buttery seasoning filled his mouth with a wonderful flavor, and the shrimp itself was cooked to perfection, with an excellent texture. “Well?” asked Azul, as he took a sip of lemonade. “It’s…it’s REALLY good,” smiled Taoka, trying to hold back just how delicious he thought it all was. “I know,” smiled Azul, but he still seemed pleased to hear it. “Perhaps sometime we can give you a nice sampler; plenty of food to go with one of those.” “I doubt that would be such a good idea,” Jade spoke up. “The sampler does include crab meat.” “Ewww, that’d be like one of us eating smoked eel,” sneered Floyd. “And we all know eel tastes so much better raw,” grinned Jade, diabolically. “Huh?” Floyd blinked in confusion. “Nothing,” said Jade, innocently.

“Well, I guess it wouldn’t be toooooo bad, either way,” shrugged Floyd, and grinned toothily. “I mean, crabs DO eat other crabs, yeeeaaah?” “Boys, as amusing as it is to hear you both go on like that, I think our guest is going to be ill if you keep that up,” drawled Azul. “Apologies,” said Jade. Floyd just yawned, boredly. Taoka swallowed his mouthful of shrimp and chased it down with some lemonade. The flavor of the citrus drink helped chase away his anxiety. “So…again, I have to ask, how is this going to work?” he inquired after a few bites of food, the emptiness in his belly replaced with a warm and filling feeling. Azul took another sip of his own drink before finally answering: “This audition will proceed more or less like a typical audition, I suppose: you will play and sing a song of your choice. I will listen, along with my friends here.” He indicated Floyd and Jade. “Once you have finished, I shall give you a brief critique of what I heard, and declare if you’re suitable for a role in the house band I want to put together,” Azul went on, lightly stirring his drink with a twist of his wrist. “If I decide that you are, then I’ll take you on here at the Lounge for three unpaid weeks. Got that? Three. Weeks. A ‘trial run,’ so to speak. And if, after those three weeks, I determine your skills are sufficient and the audiences like you, I’ll keep you on - paid work, this time - for the remainder of the semester and into the next term. After that, you would need to re-apply.” Taoka mumbled something through a full mouth and stuffed cheeks…then, when he saw the frowns on the trio’s faces, he realized he was talking with his mouth full and couldn’t be understood. He hastily swallowed, stifling a belch in one fist. “Ahem…that, uh…th-that sounds reasonable,” he said. He paused, then thought to ask, “What if I fail, at any point? Today or later on?” Azul shrugged, once again waving a hand about airily. “Oh, I just…throw a little salt on you, and then gobble you up! HA HA HA HA HA HA!” The head of Octavinelle exploded into cackling laughter…then stopped abruptly when he saw the look of absolute horror on Taoka’s face. His smile vanished and was replaced with an almost bored look. “I’m jesting, merely jesting.” “O-Oh. Right.” “It’s an audition. If you fail, you simply go back to your dorm room and have to find another avenue, like any other case such as this. As for the end of those three weeks, if you get them…” Azul smirked. “Well…we’ll worry about that if it even becomes a problem.”

“I see,” Taoka replied, and nodded in agreement. “Alright. I…I think all that sounds fair.” “Excellent,” Azul said, and put down his drink before snapping his fingers. A moment later, Jade and Floyd were suddenly sitting on either side of him on the couch; one sat straight and proper, while the other threw his heels up onto the table…at least until Azul coughed and ordered him to get them off. Floyd then rolled his eyes and obeyed. “As soon as you are ready,” Azul said, steepling his hands as he leaned back. “We’re all ears.” Taoka paused…then sighed through his nose. He had rather hoped he’d have more time to eat…but he guessed it was time to get down to business. His heart was still beating very quickly as he pulled his guitar out of its case and positioned it. He glanced repeatedly at the trio as he adjusted the strings. He had not felt this much pressure since his time onstage at the Triple-S…indeed, he wasn’t sure he had EVER felt this much pressure. Despite Azul’s words, the presence of the three higher predators made it harder for him to feel totally relaxed…and besides, just because AZUL claimed he wouldn’t do anything, that didn’t say anything about the Leech Twins. Whether he was playing for his life, or playing for a chance at a job, this was going to be perhaps the most important audition he’d ever tried. Nevertheless, as he got his guitar ready, Taoka plucked up his courage, and screwed it to the sticking place. He smiled his most daring smile at the trio, earning an arched eyebrow from each in the process. “Okay, gents,” he smirked, trying to sound his most confident, a cocksure twinkle returning to his eye as he let his mind sink into the world of his music. “Lemme lay somethin’ good on ya…” And without another word, Taoka strummed the guitar and began to play. The melody he played was strange and almost otherworldly; like something that came from the realm of the fae, or perhaps from the very depths of the ocean’s most mysterious fathoms…the music building up as he let it play on for a bit, eyes closed before he took a breath, and allowed the first lyrical notes to whisper forth, like a voice from beyond…

“It’s only forever…not long at all…lost and lonely…” Then, the music jumped into a higher gear; still mysterious, still strange, but with a certain adventurous pep, as the lyrics jumped to attention. Taoka’s voice was filled with a strange, contradictory tone: sympathetic, yet somehow mocking; not cruel, but playful… “No one can blame you, for walking away: with too much rejection, no love injection. Life can’t be easy; it’s not always swell.” His voice dropped an octave, with pain painting the words. “Don’t tell me ‘truth hurts,’ little girl…” He opened his eyes, looking down at his gloved hand. “...Because it hurts like Hell.” Then, a sly, slippery smile came to his face and he chuckled, closing his eyes once more. He shook his head to the beat as the song became slithery and inviting, almost hypnotic. “But down in the Underground, you’ll find someone true. Down in the Underground: a land serene, a crystal moon!” The smile became a grin as the music kicked up another notch, almost triumphant in nature. “Ah-ha! It’s only forever!” he almost laughed through the song. “That’s not long at all! Lost and lonely…that’s Underground! UNDERGROUND!” The final note echoed through the office…and finally, the song ended with a few last, haunting strums of the guitar. Taoka sighed…then looked towards his listeners expectantly. “Well?” he checked. “What didja think of that?”

Floyd and Jade’s eyes were very wide. They looked at each other…then back at Taoka…then grinned and applauded. “YAAAAY!” cheered Floyd. “That was short, but I was reeeeaaaaally feeling it, Crab Cake! More! I wanna hear more, c’moooon!” “An excellent display of your talent,” agreed Jade, quite serenely. “I think perhaps you could do well for the purpose of a house band. What do you think, Azul?” The player and the eel’s looked towards Azul. Taoka felt his smile falter. The octopus’ blue eyes were hidden by the glare of his glasses, making it hard to tell what he was thinking. A shadow seemed to have passed over him, which made Taoka’s anxiety kick up a notch. Finally, Azul inhaled through his nose, nostrils flaring…and applauded politely. “Very nicely sung,” he said, crisply. “I must admit, however, your guitar playing needs some work. ” “So I’ve been told,” mumbled Taoka, sourly, to himself. “Now, now, I don’t mean to say it’s bad,” smiled Azul, and his blue eyes were now visible as he leaned forward again. “But it sounded…a trifle forced, so to speak. Over-rehearsed. So much of the emotion that came from what you just gave me was gleamed from your vocals. Therefore, I think perhaps an instrumental role in the band is not for you.” Taoka felt his heart begin to sink…but that was before Azul continued speaking. “No. What I want from you is…your voice,” he almost hissed, seeming excited by the thought. “There is a dusky, smoky, yet absolutely golden quality to your singing that I think would suit the atmosphere of my Lounge just right. Especially if we give you the proper accompaniment and the best possible pieces. How would a position as the lead singer suit you?” Taoka’s heart leapt up again. His eyes widened…and an extremely wide smile stretched across his face. “The…the LEAD singer?” he checked…then, hearing his own voice break again, he immediately coughed and tried to cool down, lounging back easily in his seat and smirking it what he hoped was a nonchalant, barely-interested way. “Uh, I mean…yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a nice gig, babe. If ya think you can handle me in that role, heh heh…” Azul’s smile faded. “I think I can. But there is one condition.” “What’s that?” “Do NOT call me ‘babe.’” “Oh. Sorry. Uh…boss?” “Hmmm…boss will do,” smiled Azul, and stretched out a hand across the table. “Your trial run will begin a week from today. I’ll send you further information later, including the identities of your fellow band-mates. I imagine you’ll want to get in touch with them.” “That’d be helpful. Thanks, ba-er, boss.”

“Not at all,” Azul purred, and gave Taoka’s hand a firm squeeze before leaning in close. “Just be sure your voice remains as…appetizing to the ears as it is now, and I think there should be little trouble.” Taoka’s smile became more nervous and he nodded. He tried to pull his hand away…but Azul held it fast. The cephalo-man’s smile had become hard and sharp as a knife. “The time will be lunch hour,” he said. “I’d advise you to be punctual. Otherwise…perhaps I’ll make it into a lunch break.” Taoka gulped as Azul finally released his hand. He quickly stood up and gathered his guitar, putting it back in its case. “R-Right!” he said, and let out a somewhat hysterical little chuckle. “We-Well, uh…nice doin’ business with you all! And thanks so much!” “No thanks are necessary,” Azul said, and sipped his drink before adding, “It’s just what I do. It’s what I LIVE for: helping my fellow students, and especially underclassmen in need. As the guardian of the Sea Witch’s benevolent spirit, this is simply my way of bringing that spirit to life.” Taoka scratched the back of his head. “Right…well, uh…I guess that’s pretty nice of you.” “Yes, it is,” agreed Azul, then looked at the eels. “Now, boys? Please show him out.” Floyd and Jade got up from their seats and moved towards Taoka. Floyd gripped the demi-crab in disguise by the shoulders, and Taoka stiffened as he was then guided towards the door, which Jade opened in a courtly manner. “It was a pleasure to eat-I mean, meet you,” Jade said with a not-so-subtly teasing smile. “Make sure ya sing something super duper cool like that next time, Crab Cake!” Floyd grinned. “Don’t make me squeeze your shell off!” Before Taoka could respond to the teases, he was all but hurled out the door, stumbling as the office was shut and locked behind him. He blinked at the door…then took a deep breath, and sighed heavily, shaking his head as he hurriedly hustled back down the hall towards the main areas of the Mostro Lounge. “Never again,” he shuddered to himself, remembering those hungry stares and frightening words…but it wasn’t long till the fear left him, and a grin of purest, most delighted joy colored his face. He’d gotten the job. He’d gotten a position even better than he’d expected, in fact! He was going to be the LEAD SINGER. All the spotlight, all the attention, all the love…squarely on him and his shoulders. “I guess sometimes it’s worth taking risks,” he chuckled, and all but danced his way out of the Lounge, absolutely elated.

Even as Taoka left, however…back at the Lounge, Floyd and Jade were laughing. “AHHHH-HA-HA HA HA HA HA!” howled Floyd, clutching his chest with one hand and slapping his knee with the other. “D-Did you see his face? Did you see how SCARED he was! Awww, the poor wittle Krabby Patty, I just wanted to SQUISH him soooo much!”

“Perhaps we were a little TOO mischievous,” Jade suggested…but he clearly didn’t agree with his own sentiment, as he was stifling mad giggles between almost every word. “After all, we weren’t REALLY going to eat him.” Azul, who was still seated on the sofa, plucked a single piece of shrimp off the platter with his chopsticks. “No,” he murmured, as he inspected the piece of shrimp quietly. “No, you weren’t, were you?”

He popped the shrimp into his mouth and ate it up. As he did so, the Twins immediately stopped laughing and looked towards him. Neither had missed the word choices, nor the emphases Azul had. “Eh?” Floyd frowned, crinkling his nose. “What’re you saying it that creepy way for, huuuh?” “Creepy?” puffed Azul, indignantly. “Creepy? Me? Oh, please, I’m no worse than either of you.” “Whatever THAT means,” pouted Floyd, crossing his arms and sitting down on the opposite couch in a huff, like a sulking child. “I must admit, I’m a little surprised, Azul,” Jade said as he stood beside the same couch. “Surprised?” repeated Ashengrotto, as he took a drink of lemonade. “Well, you had said that you wanted to avoid choosing anyone without them showing proper experience onstage, before a crowd, or having any formal references,” Jade said. “Heeeey, that’s right!” Floyd realized. “In fact, I don’t think you even seemed interested until Betta Fishy toldja he was a crab!” “Well, after all,” said Azul, with a mask-like smile, “We undersea types have to stick together, regardless of dormitory boundaries.” The Twins looked skeptical. “Azul,” Jade finally asked, slowly. “Did you…agree to see him…BECAUSE he was a crab?” “I think that’s what I just implied, yes,” Azul replied, taking another sip of his drink. “That’s not what I mean,” said Jade. “I meant to ask, did you agree because he was a crab specifically, not merely a fellow ‘undersea type’?” Azul just gave a devious smile and adjusted his glasses, before lifting another piece of shrimp up. “Is that a yes? ‘Cause I don’t get it. What makes bein’ a crab so special?” Floyd frowned. “I mean, they’re just food for us, back in the ocean, aren’t they?” Azul once again said nothing. He simply popped the shrimp into his mouth and ate it. It took about ten seconds for realization to flow over the Leech Twins’ faces. “You weren’t just teasing, like we were,” Jade recognized. “He has three weeks to prove he’s worth being on my payroll,” Azul said, as if this were an obvious answer. “The way I see it, this is a win-win situation. For his part, he gets the experience and the spotlight he seems to crave. For my part, if he impresses me and our customers enough in that time, I get a good headliner for my house band. I also get a new connection to Pomefiore, and to Vil: something that could lead to some special reward. And of course, I get the credit for assisting an underclassmen in another dorm, who needed a helping tentacle.” He licked his lips subtly. “Otherwise, if he fails…well. Then I’ve earned three whole weeks of at least halfway-tolerable entertainment for my customers, all without needing to pay the lead singer a thing. And I think we all know he wouldn’t be the first student to go ‘mysteriously absent,’ the Headmage’s ‘special rules’ or not. After the disaster I heard happened at the Triple-S competition, it wouldn’t be hard to give an explanation for that absence, either, would it?” “Wow. You are…really despicable, when you wanna be, aren’tcha?” blinked Floyd. “That’s why you both stay around me,” Azul reminded him, and looked into his reflection in his glass of lemonade, a greedy glint in his eye. “Anyway, it’s time to get back to business. I want you both to start advertising the new entertainment more vigorously, and bring me people you think would serve his voice well with their talents. After all, we’re going to need more than a snack-I mean, singer, to provide a proper band.”