#jacksonasks

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Jackson stiffened at those words. His mouth partially dried for a brief moment before he realized how awkward he must have appeared then, tilting his head slightly, he grinned, before briefly giving a frown “What? Insecure? Where'd you- Why do you think that?” He was clearly confused, how could anyone think that he was insecure? What had they seen? A small panic began to fill his chest as thoughts began to fill his mind one his doing something to make him…seem off. As a celebrity, he was expected to appear pristine, and perfect. It was a perfect career for someone like him. Pretending. Being what he was not. Hiding what he really was from the rest of the world.

But, not all of the world was that oblivious. Sometimes someone peaked behind the curtain a bit too much. Found something he had buried deep. Perhaps he had failed to keep it deeper than he thought, a moment of weakness. A moment of humanness. The monster inside growing in rage at this peak. He was unhappy. But he hated that. He hated if others seen him in a way that he did not wish to be seen. Being seen as what he was, only made others believe him to be some sort of monster. He did not want to be a monster. But…there were things he could not help. Things he could not hide. The monster he did not want, came out.

Swallowing thickly, Jackson takes in a deep breath, feeling the awkwardness grow with the silence, “I'm totally happy! What? Why wouldn't I be happy?” Laughing lightly, he shakes his head, “I'm living a life most people only dream about. People love me, love what I can do for them.” He went on, sure he was probably rambling a bit, “I can have anything I want, and most people would just jump at the chance to get it for me.” He stopped then, realizing he was talking too much. The monster wanted that, people to do what he wanted, to love him, no matter what. He needed it like fish need water. Or humans needed air. That attention, that control over others. To be loved, no matter what was better than all the drugs he had ever done before.

&. 𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐬 (𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬?) 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

Jackson paused what he was doing. Hearing them comment that had confused him. Of course, they had seen him smile, surely. He was a famous actor. He smiled all the time. As far as they should have known, anyway. He was always showing his most genuine-looking smile. Jackson put on a smile “What do you mean? I smile all the time. Fangirls love my smile, even.” He reminds with a polite tone. Turning his gaze away, he swallows, holding the smile on his face. Now worried that someone had seen his mask slip. The mask he had carefully crafted all his life. He hated when people could just….see. No matter what he did to hide what …who, he really was under it. A monster. Something he didn't want to be, but could not help himself but to be “Heh. — Are you just messing with me, huh?”

Send one of the following to visit my muse after they;

"Hm?! On edge? No. I'm fine. I'm great. Actually. Nothing happened." Jackson glanced from one side to the other. It wasn't like he had his privacy invaded and that he had felt unsafe. No. He felt, great. Just fine. Nothing to worry about. Some stranger wandering around in his house, seeing things that he generally didn't let others in on. Who knows what they were like, this person. They could be some psycho! Who could use information they might have gathered while freely roaming his house, and probably black mail him, or worse! What was worse though? Was it a stalker? Was he actually being stalked. Something was taken, a few things "Ah. Well anyway, I should let you know. I'm planning on moving! The view here fucking sucks! The neighbors are ugly."