#iwavkin

Though my feelings for you will always be conflicted, the greatest of all is eternal fondness. I've had a great many years now to mull over our long life together, through book after book, adaption after adaption, and I've never once found it within myself to regret our time together. I think of you as my home, my solace.

Yes, we were a family. I was happy with you and our daughter, and although we fell apart and could not remain in that harmony - you were, and remain, loved. I missed you and continue to miss you in a way that exists beyond worlds and words, for nothing in any life could justify the ache it is to be without one another, no matter how much I may have tried to convince myself otherwise.

Not a day passes without you in my thoughts. Please do not think of yourself as quite so disposable, mon chèri. You are in my blood, you are part of me, and you will live in my heart forever.

- Louis de Pointe du Lac.

I don’t think we have ever been quite so far apart. Of course I can remember how far I felt from you following our separation. I was sure then I could never miss you more and yet I’ve found myself in a new life entirely still yearning for the time we shared.

I don’t imagine you remember me in a positive light, and I couldn’t possibly blame you for that. Our little family was dysfunctional at best; I am well aware of that now. It was a family though, wasn’t it? We raised a daughter together, spent decades in what was, to me, bliss. For a time I was loved, and we had one another.

I know now neither you nor Claudia would have ever been happy within our family. It was inevitable that we’d fall apart, and as crushing as it was I find myself happy that you at least had an opportunity to find yourself; To spread your wings, so to say. I had hoped at a time that turning you would be that opportunity, but it was foolish to think your development should be based on my influence. Perhaps that’s precisely why you needed to be without me in order to grow.

I suppose this is all to say that I miss you and wish you well. I wonder at times if you have ever missed me too, or if you were simply happy to be rid of me. I do however doubt you’d have had a whole book written about me if that were the case. 

Yours Eternally,

Lestat de Lioncourt

P.S. That book was horrendous.