#its not fair...

i think of rei’s bluntness here as being somewhat for the same reason (i imagine) she doesnt eat meat -- to her it seems unnecessary to something else to die for her when shes, in her mind, something so disposable, or to let someone else get attached to her. but its not actually this initial “what for?” that perturbs asuka at all - asuka herselfs pretty much built her persona around not needing anyone else - but the next line, that rei will do it if shes ordered to, suggesting to asuka that rei isnt just reserved by her own self-determination but that its because she will literally only do things if shes ordered to. this is not exactly true -- rei /is/ choosing to distance herself, but the reason cant be clear to asuka. this might be an oversimplification but in a sense i see asuka as distancing herself from other people to avoid being hurt by them ever again and rei as distancing herself from other people to avoid hurting them. they are two sides of the same hedgehog’s dilemma