It’s past midnight so I’m going to post! And yes, I’m making a single post for all these because I’m lazy af. fight me lol.Â
Okay <3Â
Preacher
Someone’s Type for @isthatanapplepipe
Summary: On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
...three assholes driving
...two freezing humans
...One vamp blood drive~Â
A/N: Well I saw “cold” and “Cass” and “family” and this is where my brain ended up :pÂ
Jupiter Ascending
Ineligible for @lizteph
Summary:Â She was angry. She'd panicked. Jupiter wouldn't deny either of these things. But maybe telling people that Caine was her date would somehow work out for the best?
A/N: It’s short, but hopefully sweet?? Idk. I hope you like it <3 Â
RWBY (Ozqrow)Â
1. Boys With Charm (and Folly) for @supposedlyjunkoenoshima
Summary:Â "RENT A BOYFRIEND - CHEAP!
Are you alone this holiday season? Sick of your family asking when the hell you're going to land a date? Want to tell your mom to stuff it when she asks about grandkids? Or are you just looking forward to screwing with your friends? Well, rent me for the weekend and make those holiday dreams come true!"
"...What?" Ozpin said.
(Or, the story of how Ozpin accidentally hired Qrow as his pretend boyfriend and things don't turn out at all like he expects.)
A/N: CASS. MY ORIGINAL RECIPIENT. (I’ve been dying waiting to tell you). But yeah that means you got saddled with the long-ass fic I actually kind of planned for. Unfortunate. ALSO your prompt comes in later... sort of?? This fic might have morphed into something I wasn’t equipped to handle in the time we had whoops my badÂ
And my adopted recipients!! <3Â Â
2. Swiping Right for @quetozcoatl
Summary: Ruby and Yang had been called a lot of things in their time: Meddlesome. Incorrigible. Too Smart For Their Own Good. Having known them since infancy, Bart really should have known better than to give them access to his new dating appÂ
A/N: Ngl my brain blanked on “Ruby and Yang pay matchmaker” after writing Gifts of the Fae. SO I got a little experimental with this one. Hope you enjoy the result! Â
3. Written Anew for @wolfprintsinthesnow
Summary:Â When Ozpin invited Qrow on vacation with him, he'd honestly expected someplace... less rundown.But whatever this cabin was, it obviously meant a lot to Oz.
A/N: Okay. I attempted ozqrow smut for you. This may have been a mistake. In fact it most assuredly was, but in true holiday spirit let’s just agree to forgive and forget, yeah? :D
4. I’ll Meet You There in Time for @baconflavoredcosplay
Summary: Everyone knows what you’re supposed to do under a spring of mistletoe, but the story of how that tradition began is far more complex.Â
(An ozqrow remix of the Norse fairy tale)Â
A/N: Oz! I’m pretty much 100% sure this is not what you were picturing when you prompted “mistletoe,” but here we are lol
Phew. I think that’s it. Hopefully I didn’t fuck anything up. Hope everyone enjoys their gifts - HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Â
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A slight AU? I dunno. Tulip hates the cold and hates Jesse even more for dragging them out this far.
Note(s): Eyy! Early Marry Christmas! I hope it's a good one if you celebrate! This is my first go at an actual Preacher fanfic, so I'm sorry if the characterization's aren't 100%, but I hope it's enjoyable nonetheless!
“You think God's up north?”
“I don't know where God is. That's why there's a point in lookin' everywhere.”
God wasn't up north, if He was anywhere. She wasn't buying that shit. This was a road trip, and this little hellhole was just another destination. It only took a few moments before the coldness seeped through her clothes and clung to her bones, even with the cheap parka she bought (one for Jesse and Cass, too, though those were through less legal means and she wasn't even sure if the vampire actually needed one.) Tulip continued to march through the snow, the wind still biting at her face, even with the hood up, her hands gripping the coat somewhat tighter to herself. She was having a hard time seeing where the hell she was even going, having to keep blinking the snow from her eyes, and it was in no time flat that she was absolutely miserable. Not to mention completely done with the place.
She had barely been there two hours.
She knew that Cass had suggested heading east, where it was warmer, but Jesse had been driving and he wanted to keep on his course. If he hadn't been given shit about this before, she would be sure to do so once she got back to the hotel. She could only hope that it was warmer inside than it was outside. Tulip had been skeptical of the whole idea since it was pitched, considering the month, but it had seemed...alright from inside the car windows with the heat on, and seeing snow was rare for her, but as soon as she was outside, that was a completely different story.
'We need winter wear, I need to get us a motel room--'
Jesse was getting a boot up the ass for this. She'd make sure it was one of the winter ones she bought for extra measure.
Luckily, it wasn't that far of a walk from the downtown area, if she could even call it that, to the motel. The town was very small, she was honestly surprised to see people wandering around, but she took comfort in seeing how miserable they looked, too. Even the locals hated it there, too. It was a damn frozen Anneville. Still, she managed to blink some of the flurry from her sight long enough to see the sign of the motel as she turned and walked up the parking lot towards the row of rooms, snow clinging to the windows and closed doors already. Luckily for Jesse, Tulip seemed more interested in getting warm first before she was ready to give him hell for this, though that wasn't a complete guarantee. Finally, she managed to find the room number and opened up the door, taking a moment to appreciate the quick blast of heat that caressed her exposed face, making sure to stand with the door open for longer than usual before she shut it behind her with a dull slam.
“Did ya find everythin' okay?”
The small smirk that crossed Jesse's face at her expression and clothes made her want to punch him. Then again, there was a lot of things he had been doing lately that made that feeling pretty constant. With an aggravated huff, she walked over to her bed, only one of the two that were in the available room, the snow from her boots quickly melting into the carpet.
“You want to go out in that shit? Shut up,” she retorted as she threw one of the parka's at him, the jacket landing on the sleeping form of Cassidy, the blankets pulled up over his head.
As far as she was aware, he had been knocked out for the duration of her adventure, though he would probably be waking up soon. It was getting dark out, and pretty damn quickly, too. While it seemed like there was a distinct lack of direct sunlight from the clouds that covered the sky, casting the whole world below it in a dull gray, it was still bright out enough to give him a bit of a scare once he tried exiting the car. The downside was that it was probably even colder at night, too, which was just great. Still, she was hellbent on getting to a bar, at least, regardless of how cold it was. Tulip wasn't going to hole up in a motel the whole stay with these two, no matter the weather.
“Doesn't seem too bad out there,” Jesse commented, taking a quick look out of the window as Tulip threw a downright murderous glare at the side of his head as she kicked off a wet boot, “Beats tryin' to find something interestin' to watch and listenin' to Cass sleep.”
“We're goin' out, though,” Tulip stated firmly, “Tonight. You owe me that much.”
“'Course.”
There was a momentary silence as Tulip kicked off the second boot and started to remove the parka, feeling eyes on her as she did so, her eyebrow raising slightly when she glanced up to see Jesse watching her with a somewhat soft expression on his face.
“What?” she asked, lifting her legs up to sit cross-legged on the bed, “Don't get all sentimental on me, I have nothin' to throw at you.”
“I'm not,” he replied with a light chuckle, “Just that this is the first civil conversation I've had with you in a couple days. It's nice.”
“I don't know, I'd say I'm still pretty pissed off at you,” Tulip remarked dryly, taking a glance towards the television. It wasn't much, though it was somewhat better than what the other motels had to offer that they stayed in so far.
“I'll go out in the snow next time,” Jesse replied, the eye roll pretty obvious in his tone. Whatever, he'd see where she was coming from in a couple hours.
“So, you really think God's hangin' out in the middle of nowhere, Canada?” Tulip asked, finally turning to glance over at Jesse as the drone of the news reporter started to grate on her already frayed nerves.
“I don't know, could be,” he said with a shrug, not looking away from the television, “You think He isn't?”
“Why would anybody choose to stay out here?” she asked in return, “The damn air hurts your skin, it's hard to imagine anybody willingly living out here.”
“So you're sayin' there's no God in Canada?”
“I don't know about that, but he's certainly not here.”
Good thing this was just a destination. She had only been in town for a couple hours and she already felt like she was losing her damn mind.
“How much further up north are you wantin' to go?” she continued, “I'll follow you into the warmer parts of this country, but I'm not goin' up to the damn ice caps.”
“Not that far,” he said, some irritation slipping into his tone, “I didn't pick to stay here, alright? I was just tired of driving and getting off the road for a night seemed like a good idea.”
Fair enough.
Truthfully, she had been getting a little stir crazy from driving for so long. The change of scenery had been distracting enough, but it wasn't enough to not make her want to snap at the two men she was in the company of, not that she was holding back any. Maybe getting out for a little bit once it stopped snowing might ease the tension, give her some space for a couple hours. Plus, she would never admit it, but driving around with Jesse had left her with a certain nostalgia and Cassidy proved to be interesting company, too, as he always was.
Maybe it wasn't so bad. From time to time, at least. They had a goal in mind, of course, but the little detours and stops helped ease some of the frustration about having nothing to go off of or knowing where they were actually headed. Being confined to a small space for so long would grate on anybody's nerves, Tulip's irritation being the most obvious, but she could tell it was bothering the other two from time to time as well.
Still...
“How long has he been out for?” she asked, deciding to detour her thought train as she gestured to Cassidy.
It seemed that he and Jesse were currently sharing the same bed, the preacher keeping a bit of a distance, but he seemed pretty at ease with it anyway. Cassidy, on the other hand, was too far gone at the moment to care, the top of his head only somewhat visible from under the covers. At least one of them managed to find some sort of comfort in the dead end town they were in.
“Couple hours, now,” Jesse replied, “Should be alright in an hour or two, considering how dark it's getting outside.”
“Seems like it's always dark out there,” she commented, “I wouldn't be surprised if he loved it here.”
“Only in the winter. Who knows what it's like here in the summer.”
“Why did you want to come up here in the dead of winter, then?” she retorted, sensing Jesse growing weary of the topic, but that didn't really stop her none, “Could have at least headed east, like Cass suggested.”
“I've never been this far up north before, I wanted to see what it was like. I didn't expect it to be this cold. Now, you wanna get off my ass about it?” he asked, his tone irritated, but he last statement was siding a little more on the playful side. From the sounds of it, anyway.
Honestly, she wasn't necessarily looking to fight with him at the moment. He had been right before, about this being the only somewhat civil conversation she's had with him in...a while, actually. Maybe it would be worth it to brave the cold for a night to just see what this shitty town had to offer. It was somewhat unique, at least, as much as she was currently hating the place. It wasn't like they were in any sort of danger at the moment, so maybe some fun could be had.
Plus, with the tension, having a drink or two seemed more and more appealing.
“All I wanted to know,” she said, finally letting the conversation drop for now, leaning herself back against the headboard somewhat, “If we're waiting for sleepin' beauty still, can we at least not watch the local news? I'm surprised that hasn't put you to sleep yet.”
“Good luck finding somethin' else,” Jesse said, picking up the remote and tossing it her way.
Tulip was sure she would. It wasn't like she was paying much attention to what was being shown, anyway.
She was looking forward to watching Custer shiver in that shitty parka she brought him, and that was entertaining enough for now until she could see the real thing. Maybe Cass could bring some more life to the place, too, once he was awake.