Sunder, of course, doesn’t see why Rung’s so upset, as he believes himself to be doing Skids a favor by unearthing his repressed memories. Honestly, I think if he’d asked first, Skids would’ve been all for it. Maybe not the cannibalism aspect of this activity, but the unearthing for sure.

Hopping back into those memories, we skip forward a bit, as Tarn comes in to check on Skids’s progress for fixing the teleport machine. He transforms, because we need to reiterate that he really fucking loves transforming. Snare is also here. You remember Snare? The man who’s never seen his feet? He’s here too. Weird that he keeps finding himself dealing with the worst of the Decepticon upper command.

Anyway, Skids and Tarn have worked out a little deal, where Skids fixes Grindcore’s teleporters, in exchange for the release of fifty Autobot prisoners. If Skids doesn’t manage to do it, Tarn will kill 500 prisoners as punishment. Which is sort of like decimation, with deci- times the slaughter. Luckily, Skids is god’s favorite little man, and Tarn seems aware of it, as he congratulates him on a job well done. Then he throws him back in his cell, where Quark is waiting to make fun of him for smiling like a doofus over having gotten in Tarn’s good graces.

Quark doesn’t trust Tarn to keep his word, and thinks that Skids is a fucking moron for having faith in the guy with all this power over their lives. Skids admits that while Tarn probably isn’t going to keep his word, it’s still better that their mass teleportation machine is working again, so that prisoners can at least be transported to do slave labor on other planets, where they’ll need to be fed and kept alive, unlike Grindcore.

That’s when the radio cuts on, playing a song that would one day become infamous for its implications— The Empyrean Suite.

...But I’m sure it’s fiiiiiiine!

Back in the present, Froid’s unlocking Sunder’s cell and taking off his handcuffs, just in time for the flamebots to show back up and tell him to cut that shit out. Sunder, of course, does his thing, and Rung and Skids watch in horror as something super gross happens off-panel, complete with wet, squishy SFX. Rung also transmits something via his recorder thumb, likely a warning to the others on the ship. But we won’t know for sure for a bit, because now we’re jumping forward in time.

Over in the maximum security section of the Lost Light’s brig, we finally see Mr. Pugface Charisma himself, strung up and restrained in a way reminiscent of how Alternate Rung was in the epilogue of the “Elegant Chaos” storyline, but decidedly hornier. Tailgate zips by on his hoverboard, apparently having woken up at some point. Seems like he’s doing fine, though, so I’m not too worried about how long he slept.

Tailgate isn’t thrilled to have run into Getaway, and is even more displeased when Getaway refuses to speak to him about what exactly is happening; everything is dark, everyone else has disappeared, someone’s graffitied the walls, and there’s a bunch of greebled orbs laying around.

Tailgate shows Getaway Cyclonus’s vial of innermost energon that he left by his bedside (aw, he does love him!), then tells Getaway to go fuck himself, punching the steel plate door to his cell and shattering the windows as he does. Of course, Getaway genuinely does have a reason for not speaking to Tailgate, so it’s not like he’s being intentionally petty.

Now who was the sadistic little bastard who decided that he needed his limbs off and voice taken away? This is some freak shit right here, this is borderline fetish material.

Tailgate goes to investigate one of the weird greeble orbs, and Rung, Skids, and Froid show up just in time to warn him not to touch it, as it’s actually one of the crew members, having been turned inside out, thanks to Sunder making them think that’s what shape they need to be. It’s fucked up. This is a fucked up storyline. Tailgate’s most worried about Cyclonus though, as should be clear by his vial lanyard. He grabs Rung by the arm and demands to know where his not-boyfriend is.

It turns out that after Megatron heard that a guy with eyeballs that make you turn into a bowl of haggis was loose onboard the ship, he turned the lights out and had everyone lock themselves in their rooms. So Cyclonus is probably in habsuite 14, staring out the window, which he was probably going to do anyway. Very little about today is switching up his standard routine.

Rung and company aren’t locked up because they’re looking for Chromedome, so he can put Skids’s memories into the proper lockbox in his head, seeing as he’s gonna die if he recalls them too fast. Rung’s also out here to yell at Froid, because he can’t fucking believe he’d go and get close to a guy who’s got Megatron turning out the lights and hiding. Froid, however, swears his motives are purely professional.

Skids starts groaning again, which means that Sunder is nearby, and sure enough, the brain goblin comes ‘round the corner not a moment later.

In the flashback, Tarn is congratulating Skids on a job well done, then shows him proof of the fifty prisoners having been let out of Grindcore, now roaming around in the Manganese Mountains. Because the last time Roberts had robots holed up in the mountains, it worked out so very well for everyone.

Skids tries to sweeten the deal for next time, but Tarn says that he’s no longer useful to have around, since he’s an Autobot, and Snare watched him do all the stuff that fixed the teleporters. However, Tarn would be loathe to let Skids’s good deed go unpunished.

Don’t worry about the corpses in the background; they’re part of the decor.

Skids, however, is a selfless little man, and he has the bright idea to ask if he can give his free ride to someone else.

Back in the present, Froid is trying to run away from the monster he helped create, and it gets him about as far as you’d expect, as he explodes into a beautiful spaghetti flower and then orbs up. It looks like Rung, Skids, and Tailgate are next, but luckily there’s still a hero left to save the day.

Careful now, Tailgate, you’re a (possibly(accidentally)) married man!

Thunderclash and Megatron chase after Sunder, taking a moment to note that one of the balls in this corridor is Rodimus, while Chromedome sticks his fingers in the holes in Skids’s compartmentalization. Rung and Tailgate also run off to face Sunder, Rung claiming to have an ace up his sleeve.

Megatron and Thunderclash catch up to Sunder in the shuttle bay as he’s entering his ship, which makes Megatron remember something very important: Septre was a fucking ship.

Honestly, I’m surprised this doesn’t happen more often.

Thunderclash isn’t concerned with Sunder now being the size of a McMansion, claiming that he must be scared, considering he’s stopped using his black speech bubbles. Apparently those were meant to convey a “Mortilus impersonation”. Why they know what their gods are supposed to sound like isn’t addressed.

Sunder makes a speech about being too hardcore to be afraid of death, because he’s a mnemosurgeon and eats memories and flies around in his brother’s corpse. Then he orbs Thunderclash, husband of millions, thus officially barring himself from the kingdom of heaven. This is the point where Rung attacks him with his fleet of model ships, which are apparently also RC planes. This plan only works for a moment, because, again, Sunder is currently the size of a house.

Megatron, having been knocked down in the direction of the fusion cannon Thunderclash had been wearing, is in the perfect position to strap it on and blow this giant hungry bitch away. However, he probably knows that if he resorts to violence, Rodimus will take away his Rodimus Star for abandoning his evil ways. Tailgate, no doubt frustrated by Megatron trying to talk down the guy who keeps haggising the crew, takes matters into his own hands.

No, he couldn’t do that before. Tailgate himself isn’t sure why exactly he can suddenly pick up midlife crisis purchases and hurl them with enough force to incapacitate serial killers. We’ll have to get Velocity on this, since she’s the only doctor left on the ship.

Because Rung is resigning.

When Rung sent that recording of Froid and his conversation, as a way to warn Megatron of the danger on the ship, it also included their little argument over being “too close” to patients, and Rung’s delicensing. Knowing that more than one other person is privy to his crimes, Rung’s decided to beat things to the punch and retire, as if the Lost Light could afford to lose their mental health specialist, even if he does suck absolute dick. Megatron seems to see it that way, anyhow, suggesting that Rung still tell his patients about not being licensed, but let them decide if they still want to see him anyway.

Rung calls him a stupid fuck in the most polite way possible, then leaves, just as Rodimus is arriving. Megatron makes a pun, then we get the skinny on what’s going on with Tailgate. As best as Velocity can figure, the background radiation caused by quantum travel, combined with being stressed the fuck out by Cyclonus being shot and seemingly killed in front of him, caused his spark to evolve. Which is a much better deal than what I’d assume that sort of thing would do for a human being. I figure that’d be a heart attack situation.

Rodimus wants to know what happened with Sunder in the shuttle bay, and why Megatron tried to talk him down instead of firing. Megatron’s figured that he’s tried the way of violence for the last several million years, and he’s really trying to be better than that now, even if it gets people hurt. He’s a pacifist now. Which sucks, because it’s probably going to bite both him and those around him in the ass later, and also he’ll never be Vash the Stampede, so he really shouldn’t even bother trying.

Getting back to the flashback (sort of, anyway; Skids isn’t remembering this next part, it’s more for us as the readers to get closure) Quark’s queued up for the teleporter, having been given Skids’s spot. He’s gonna be doing hard labor on “New Tarn”. Skids is also here, having apparently touched Tarn’s cold, dead heart with his kindness. Everyone loads up into the teleporter, and it looks like everything’s gonna be just fine!

I said EVERYTHING’S GONNA BE JUST FINE.

The music comes on, significantly louder in this chamber, and Skids is suddenly teleported out and away, Quark screaming for him as he disappears. He arrives in Tarn’s office, where he’s leaning on his desk and drinking out of his fancy little decanter, waiting for the show to start. Skids knows by this point that the machine he was sent to fix was in actuality a smelter, and Tarn explains that they need that fancy shmancy sentio metallico to build bodies for their upcoming MTO forces. Then he drags Skids over to the window and melts the belief in a loving god out of his head.

And that’s a series wrap on Quark! Let’s give him a hand, folks!