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Branson: “We should fight it. Pretty sure we can win.”
Laura: “We can’t fight the forest itself. We should run away.”
Lyle: “I’m with Branson. I could burn the forest down.”
Laura: “This is a sacred forest! We should leave!”
Party: *argues for like an hour*
DM (Cole): (sigh) “If only there were a third option besides fight or flee. Maybe like, oh I don’t know, diplomacy?”
Laura: “Oh! Right! My entire character is based around diplomacy! I’ll-“
Branson: “I’m the nature barbarian. I got this.”
Laura: “Wait! I’m the diplom-“
Nate: “I’VE BEEN YELLING FOR FUCKING HOURS AND NOBODY HAS LISTENED TO A FUCKING WORD I’VE FUCKING SAID! IT’S FUCKING PISSING ME OFF!”
Lyle: “Dude. You, like, muted yourself like 2 hours ago. We thought you were afk.”
Nate: “Wait. I did?”
DM: “Yep.”
Nate: “Damn it.”
Branson: “So it’s settled. I will talk to the trees.”
Laura: “I am the nature guild diplomat. I will talk to the trees.”
Simon: (logs on) “Hey what’s up. I just got free to play and-“
Zack: “Hehehe. The trees shall have my babies.”
Simon: “...I AM CONCERN.”
DM: *sobs in defeat*
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So Tim finally jumped back onto Isekai Fantasy Bullshit 1. Luckily the other responsible-type players (Branson, Laura, and Nate) were the others playing that night. They informed Tim of all the chaos and destruction caused by Paul and Zack during his absence to which Tim responded by doubling down on his efforts to get shit done and keep chaos to a minimum.
Immediately after that the responsible-type players put their brains together to come up with a plan to steal the corpses of murder victims from the Azorius, pulling in favors from their NPC contacts Isaak (Rakdos Bard/Rogue), Hurisk (Gruul Barbarian), Temple (Azorius Paladin), and Reirez (Boros Fighter) to pull it off.
