Billford is funny because Bill is a triangle.
Billstan is funny because it would never fucking happen, but it tries to happen. No matter how fake or forced or unpleasant or unwanted on both sides, it tries.
Bill wants to use Stan because he hates him and he’s not over Ford. Stan knows this and is very difficult about it (read incredibly mocking and/or disgusted depending on the day) and that only makes Bill work harder because he cannot lose to the worst person he’s ever met.
The ugliest and most rotten flowers ever tremble in Bill’s loathing fist at the doorway; he knows flattery doesn’t work on idiots, so he demands that Stan accept his advances because it’d be the only smart thing he’s ever done. Actually, he isn’t capable of being smart— Bill apologizes for lying— and while they’re being honest, this is still more about Ford who is smart than Stan who is insignificant and horrible. He ruins everything anyways, so he should just let Bill back into his superior copy’s— no, the original’s life already to do it even better. Let him inside already, you worthless meatbag.
Instead of the demon of his dreams, all Stan sees is a temper-tantrum-throwing, bubble-blowing baby at his front porch who’s almost funny in an annoying sort of way and actually didn’t this thing try to kill his family? Isn’t that his brother’s ex? Never mind. Stan closes the door and he turns on the TV and he’s old and he doesn’t have time to waste on boring people. Fun’s over. That screaming in the window is kind of awful. He turns up the volume and hopes it stops soon because his ears are bleeding.
Ford loves his brother and trusts Stan when he tells him not to go outside for a little while.
Bill’s hatred reaches new highs every day.










