#is ok?

Is ok? Hmm?

also oh pls take care!! sending lots of hugs and healing vibes rn

“But why not?“

The apprentice meets her master’s gaze, looking to him for answers, just as she has always done. If there was someone – anyone – they had served in the past, she couldn’t remember. Maybe it was too long ago that it was something she’d forgotten. Or maybe it was just a greater purpose they never sought. But if he was going to say no, he would have to give her more than that. There had to be some kind of reason…!

“Everyone else has one! Lemon has one! And Silent too! Why are we different…?”

“ And if  ‘everyone’ jumped into fire would  YOU  follow them as well?”

With a breath, his eyes narrow slowly, be it in response to the other’s pestering stare. Should he allow this conversation going, it was only about to bring more questions to his apprentice’s mind. Not that there was harm in the curiosity, no...  It was his, and purely his choice to not mention any of that to Heka so far. And he was still unsure, just how much he wanted to reveal.

You just didn't know

Summary: Cas is newly human and is having problems dealing with all his emotions. He wants to tell someone, but the person he wants to talk to most can't be told about it because some of his feelings are for him. Cas talks to Sam instead of Dean...

Castiel sat on the couch and waited for breakfast to be made.

“Damn. We're out of milk again. Sammy, you don't need to grow any more than you already have, so stop finishing it so I can make some damn pancakes!” said Dean.

“Sorry, Dean. I didn't know you wanted to make pancakes for your boyfriend.” said Sam.

He'd been making these jokes quite often now. Dean shrugged it off, and so did Cas, but they both knew inside their own minds that they'd like nothing more than to be wrapped in in the others arms...

“I-, shut up Sammy. I'll go and get some more milk.” said Dean.

“I'll stay here and watch your sweetheart for you.” said Sam, smiling.

Dean put his jacket on and left. Cas got up and began to walk towards Sam. He knew what he wanted to say, because it couldn't stay bottled up, not anymore. With all the looks and long talks Cas and Dean would have, it would be a surprise for them not to be in love with the other.

“Sam.” said Castiel, with a look so serious that Sam just knew Cas was going call him out.

“Hey Cas, you know they're just jokes, right?” said Sam, with a chuckle, because they weren't and he knew it.

“That's unrelated to-, well, actually not so unrelated. I need to talk to someone about this and it can't be Dean.”

“Why can't it be Dean?”

“Because it's about Dean. You seem to already know, so I'm not sure what a difference this will make to your thoughts, but I know that I have to say it.”

“Say what?” said Sam, but he already knew, since the day the angel came into their lives. I mean, who could resist making jokes about 'I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.'

“Sam, I think I'm-, no, I know I'm in love with Dean. I know he could never feel the same way because he's Dean and I'm, well, I'm me. I'm fairly certain he hasn't even forgiven me about the angel tablet, and I probably haven't redeemed myself for swallowing the souls in purgatory, but I do love him and I need to say it because I can't be the only one to know. I don't understand most of my emotions, but this one, this one I'm sure of.” Cas finished.

No one noticed how Dean slipped into the bunker, or how he sobbed silently when Castiel confessed his love for Dean, or how broken he looked when he said that Dean wouldn't forgive him. His eyes when he said that Dean would never love him, and how those eyes didn't even see him.

Was he going to make himself seen, or just wait for Sam or Cas to tell him later on? Would either one of them even ever tell him? Should he just tell Cas that he feels the same way, or just drop it all?

“Are you going to ever tell him any of this?” said Sam.

“I think I'll probably live a short, sad, human life and die with this secret.” said Cas, holding back tears.

Dean couldn't take it any longer. He wasn't going to stand here and watch his fallen angel break down in front of his brother.

“You're not going to do any of those things. You're going to live a long, happy life with Sam and me. Especially me.” said Dean, breaking the silence.

Sam eyes darted to Dean, his mouth open in shock. Castiel turned around and found himself unable to speak. He tried, but he just couldn't. He decided that this couldn't possibly be happening and made an attempt to run at the door. Luckily, Dean was there to stop him.

“You can't poof out anymore, so you're not going anywhere, not this time. I've seen you disappear to many damn times and I'm not letting it happen again.” said Dean, holding a scrambling Cas in his arms. He wasn't leaving anytime soon, so he gave up trying. “I wouldn't hold a grudge against you, Cas. It's okay. I forgive you, Castiel.”

The words Cas wanted to hear the most (well, second-most) had just come out of the mouth of the man he loves.

“Dean, I'm so sorry.” said Cas, as tears began to stream out of his sapphire-blue eyes.

“Don't cry, Cas.”

“But everything you heard me say, surely you don't feel the same.” said Cas, his voice already cracked.

“Why the hell would you think that?” said Dean, grabbing Castiel's face and kissed him softly.

By this time, Sam had already left the room, so in this complete privacy Dean knew he could really talk to Cas, about everything.

“You don't seem like someone who, who...” said Cas.

“Loves you? Well, I do, you just haven't known. Of course, I don't don't blame you, being newly human and all. But, Cas, I do, I love you.” said Dean, finishing the sentence.

He kissed his ex-angel again, this time more fiercly.

These were the long, happy, human lives of Dean and Castiel Winchester.