#irrelevant rant

AND THIS WAS RIGHT AFTER MAKING MYSELF SOME BRUSSELS SPROUTS AND THE POT WAS IN THE WATER AND I WAS RINSING IT SO I COULD PUT IT IN THE DISHWASHER

BUT THE WATER STARTED FILLING UP AND I TRIED RUNNING THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL BUT THE WATER WOULDNT GO DOWN SO I HAD TO STICK MY HAND THIS NASTY ASS GREEN WATER THAT SMELLED LIKE CABBAGE AND ASSHOLE

AND SOMEHOW A FUCKING CUP MANAGED TO PERFECTLY SLIP ITSELF INTO THE DAMN DRAIN HOLE AND NOTHING COULD GET PAST IT BECAUSE IT HAD CREATED A FUCKING VACUUM SEAL

AND AT THIS POINT IM ELBOWS DEEP IN FUCKING CABBAGE ASSHOLE WATER TRYING TO FIST THIS CUP OUT OF THE HOLE, MY KNUCKLES ARE BLEEDING BECAUSE THEYRE SO RAW FROM CIRCLE FISTING THIS WET ASS CUP

BUT I AM PERSISTENT AND CURSING LIKE A SAILOR AT THIS CUP AND MYSELF BECAUSE I CANT GET THE CUP OUT

END UP HAVING TO DOUBLE FIST THIS CUP, TREATING IT LIKE A VIRGIN ASS DURING FOREPLAY, GOT BOTH HANDS IN THERE TRYING TO GET A GRIP ON THE EDGE AND USING ALL OF MY MUSCLE POWER (WHICH ISNT A LOT)

I FINALLY FUCKING GET A GOOD ENOUGH GRIP. THE CUP STARTS COMING UP AND OUT, IM SOUNDING LIKE A BITCH IN HEAT, MOANING AND BEGGING THE CUP LIKE “FUCK YES KEEP GOING DONT STOP”

SO THE CUP FUCKING COMES OUT FAST AS FUCK, IT PROJECTILE SHOOTS NASTY CABBAGE ASS WATER RIGHT UP ONTO MY SHIRT AND INTO MY FACE, MY MOUTH WAS OPEN. I WAS GAGGING AND ON THE VERGE OF VOMITING AND I WANTED NOTHING MORE THAN TO SHRIVEL UP AND DIE IN THAT MOMENT, BUT THEN I REALIZED

me to my parents: okay but for a super special combined birthday/christmas present can I like... maybe go to london... to see a play?? 🥺

them, literally knowing nothing about this play at all: james mcavoy is in it isn’t he

me: ....... perhaps ........ what’s your point fam

them: oh yanno just a hunch— but yeah no that shit’s gonna be expensive af to just FLY OUT THERE are you outta your damn mind

Now I’m not gonna make this a whole ass rant cause I could go on for hours about HOW MUCH THIS PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF

But

THE METEOROLOGIST ON THE 10 O’CLOCK NEWS LAST NIGHT WAS LIKE

“Big storms headed our way on Thursday. Heavy winds, downpours, flash flooding, possible hail, tornado warnings.”

NOW, OF COURSE MY ASS GOT FUCKING HYPED

SO IM SITTING HERE

WATCHING THE DOPPLER RADAR

CHECKING TO SEE WHERE THE FUCK THIS RAD ASS STORM IS

AND IT FUCKING SKIPS OVER MY AREA ENTIRELY

AND YALL MIGHT BE THINKING

“Oh, but sluht... it could be moving west so you’d at least get some outter bands of it.”

NOPE

THIS BITCH IS MOVING DOWN AND OUT

AND THEN ONCE IT GETS FAR ENOUGH AWAY MY TINY BLUE BLIPPITY ASS IN THE DRAWING

THEN ITS GONNA START MOVING WEST

FUCK

IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR A BOMB ASS FUCKIN STORM?! I DONT FUCKIN THINK SO

JUST WANT SOME THUNDER THATLL RATTLE MY HOUSE AND LOGHTNING THATLL LIGHT UP THE ROOMS AFTER MY POWER GOES OUT FROM THE WINDS

It's so awkward for me when I read fics with certain ways the "reader" (me??) will act. Because a lot of the time it is NOTTTT ME.

Like I am a mostly softer sub who would love to dom but can't and is rarely ever a brat because I can't give good attitude.

So it's like "this writing is so good but I would never say that, I couldn't"