#interne

I helped a pregnant woman to give birth for the first time....

Since i am passing my 3 months internship in ob-gyn, doing a child delivery is an essential step to learn , and i have been so hesitant about it because i doubt myself so much and i am constantly afraid i would mess it up or cause some big problem ( not hold the baby in the right way or letting him fall was a nightmare for me 😢)

Am really proud that i could finally overcome my fears and do it....

I am constantly trying to fight the voice that keeps me doubting myself, god knows this ain't easy, since i have acquired the really bad habit of staying as far as possible from every action/move that would be risky or show my weaknesses or uncover the fact that i dont excell at what am doing! Even if this has cost me a lot of missed opportunities to learn!

comfort zones come across the way of learning, and i keep reminding myself that learning is what i am there for!

So beside learning my job as a doc, i try to learn more about myself so i can gain both science and self empowerment!

I am also trying to stop seeking validation from close people in my life! Nobody will ever understand the struggle or the effort i made to do things that seem so "normal" to them...

I told my mom i finally helped a baby to come to this world and all she did was make a weird face as if it was disgusting! 😅 But i dont blame her... She can't know the importance of this to me...

Ça fait un moment que je ne suis pas venue mais j'ai besoin d'ecrire. D'ailleurs impossible de contacter @lesmalheursdechanelle, si quelqu'un a des nouvelles...

Voilà, j'ai le béguin pour un de mes internes... Y'a un truc chez lui, je saurais pas dire quoi. Mais il est marié et il attend un bébé... J'étais en garde avec lui cette nuit, je lui est fait un ecg. Un moment que j'oublirai pas. On a pas mal discuté, j'ai vraiment apprécié.

Normalement il part avant la fin de mon stage donc il pourra pas avoir les cookies que j'ai prévu de faire. Du coup j'ai commencé un bonnet en tricot pour son futur bébé et si j'ai le temps peut être autre chose. Vous en pensez quoi ? A un moment ça me paraît bien et l'instant d'après je trouve ça débile. Et comment je vais faire pour le lui donner???