مُتَنفَّس

In 3 days you will be 4 months old...

4 months of motherhood for me, in which you taught me more about being a mom then all the podcasts and the articles i anxiously read before you came into my life ...

I discovered with you how to live with oppsite feelings...how to feel exhausted but so deeply alive, how to feel sleepy but never annoyed , how to feel restricted in my freedom but feeling the happiest in this sweet prison cell as long as you are there with me... how to feel strong in times of doubt because just the idea of you gets me going 🤍

Your little giggles and smiles fill my days with joy, but remind me also how time flies by,i want to never miss any of it

Having a baby has changed many aspects of my life ,one of them was the way i presented myself as woman....

I stopped putting on accessories because my baby would grab them and could be dangerous for him....i stopped wearing perfumes cuz i know it would bother my baby's senses, the choice of my outfits relies entirely on my ability to breastfeed in them and how comfortable the fabric would be for my baby ( which eliminated like 80% of my wardrobe )...make up has become very limited as well cuz i always fear the products would end up on his delicate skin ...

But even with such limitations ,i can say that nothing has made me feel more womanly than having a baby...it awakened a form of softness and affection that i didnt even know existed in me , i have always thought of me as a pretty rational kinda cold girl, turns out i was not, every look at my baby reminds me that i never loved anything or anyone else that much and probably never will ... .

along with this huge softness came a sense of strength and a very primal protectiveness towards my baby , which i feel completes the femininity i have always seeked .... this balance i acquired has made me look deeper into the meanings of feeling feminine 🤍