#internalenemy

"When there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm" - African Proverb

"The greatest enemy hides in the last place you will ever look" - Julius Caesar

We are quick to look for that scapegoat outside of us.

Most of us are indeed quick to point the finger and blame others and the worlds problems when the real problem might be deeply rooted within ourselves.

We blame our circumstances, we blame the government, we blame our family, friends who did us wrong. Whoever. Anyone else but ourselves is responsible for why the world is shit and why life is tough.

But if we opened an eye within ourselves we can see that it is our own shadow, a hidden subtle build up of past traumas and mental conditioning, our own internal enemy going against our bliss, freedom and happiness.

Delving beyond our egoic needs we can find that happiness, freedom and value is our own responsibility and that no one else or nothing else (person, circumstance, thing or place) can truly have control of one's own state of mind and values.

But do we fight our internal enemy?

Do we cast it out?

Do we begin war and lash out at it with force, might and anger?

This is the kind of enemy that only gets puffed up the more you try to be rid of it.

What you resist, persists.

No, you have to be able to embrace, to forgive, to pour love and healing on your very own shadow. Your internal enemy.

To be able to let go of the past, as this is what your enemy uses to rationalise against you.

And instead of destroying it, conquering this enemy means to make it work for you - not against you.

Stress...the stress I put on myself. To do everything, be everywhere, help everyone.

I’ve decided this is just a tad more than anyone can do.

Wondering why I am so stressed out, the thought process took me to telling myself that attempting to obtain impossible perfection is not only impossible—it’s arrogant.

None of us are perfect. None of us know everything. None of us have all the answers. Why do I think I have to be this??

Anxiety. Pure and simple. I desperately want to help others. I desperately want the mistakes I made to be used to help someone else avoid some of the pain those mistakes can leave imprinted on our hearts and minds.

My learning is this: I can help others. I can lead others. I can support others. None of this can be done perfectly. It can be done in a way that protects my wellbeing. I believe the key to maintaining the mission I am on is to rely on my core beliefs and always remember myself. If I give all of myself away—there will be no longevity to the work I feel called to do.