#interintimate

definition: describes an intersex person who feels that their intersexuality is connected to/influences/is a key part of their sexuality*, and wants to center their intersex identity in their erotic life. (alt. "intereros" also sounds fun)

*i'm using "sexuality" to refer to everything to do w a person's sex + masturbation needs, habits, preferences, etc. (im also grouping this under "erotic life" bc i feel like masturbation gets left out of "sex life" & sex w another person isnt the end all be all of sexuality!). so not necessarily talking abt "sexual orientation." but if you are intersex & it feel it influences/is connected to your sexual orientation, feel free to use this as well if it speaks to you!

for me, my intersex variations affects my erotic life a lot, which also ties into my intergender identity and how i understand the parts of my body that are especially gendered/sexed. i can't really describe how i understand my body or my gender or my erotic life without talking abt my intersexuality. so i wanted a term for that! esp since intersex people dont have a lot of room to talk abt their sexuality without being medicalized or stigmatized or fetishized. its a part of human life for many ppl, and intersex ppl shouldn't be expected to always be interested in sex/masturbation on perisex terms & expectations. let us be horny (or not!) on our own terms!!!!!!

here are some flags i whipped up! im aroallo & ik ppl have a lot of different relationships w sex & how it relates to romantic love & stuff. so i decided to make 3 versions using both a heart & a flame symbol to cover all the bases :)

Interoriented: when your orientation(s) of attraction are affected or influenced by being intersex. This includes romantic orientation (interintimate), sexual orientation (intererotic), and other orientations such as (queer)platonic and sensual. Sensory-friendlier version on right.

Motivation: I'm coining this because I found myself wanting an umbrella term for the terms interintimate & intererotic that @vh-vulvicryptid coined.

Design: the compass rose in the middle of the intersex ring represents orientation through the metaphor of orienting yourself on a map.

Copyright: the compass rose used in the middle was created by Wikimedia Commons user patriciosalinas and is licensed Creative Commons Attribution Share Alike 4.0. So this flag has the same CC BY-SA 4.0 license. I personally don't actually care about getting attributed for flags, but please give credit to patriciosalinas if you make flags/art based on this flag.

https://www.tumblr.com/v-hypospadias/804273553499471872/yeah-im-intersex-intering-sex-with-your-mom-ofc <- do you think this could like. actually happen. like a perisex person could actually be this nice about having a non standard body. cause im an IGM survivor on the agenital spectrum who’s visibly ambiguous in that area so i’ve lowkey given up on having sex with someone in general but especially with a perisex person. but also im more likely to be with a perisex person since i’ve never met another intersex person irl

idrk where this is going sorry. but do you think someone could actually be patient and nice about a body like mine? even if they’re perisex? cause my body is kinda sucky in that regard and it takes like 20 minutes for my genitals to feel anything, let alone something pleasant. i can’t really do piv either, so whoever i’m with wouldn’t get much out of it. is there really someone out there who would be okay with all this? would i really be able to meet them one day or should i just try to meet an average person and get them to be okay with it, instead of trying to find someone who’s already okay with it?

im sorry if this is crossing a boundary, feel free to delete. i just think about this post a lot. mostly because it makes me wonder if something like this is possible. i know it’s a stupid joke you probably didn’t even put much thought into but idk. i’m sorry

anon i'm so sorry i took so long getting to this 🫂 not crossing a boundary at all.

yes, i think that could actually happen. i think you and your body are likeable and loveable and there is someone who would not mind at all taking as long as you need to feel what you want to feel. there are definitely perisex people out there who already care about intersex people, and many who are not but who generally care a lot abt bodily autonomy and respecting & caring for their sexual partners.

there are a lot of people who can't do piv. there are a lot of people who can't / don't want to have sex! there are folks with erectile dysfunction and incontinence issues and all manner of sexual situations that people think means you will never find a partner who will care for your body how it needs. those people are wrong.