#interanthrope

Oh, thanks! That’s so nice of you!

I suppose I’ll just yap about being a werecat, since I’m feeling very cat-ish today.

Sometimes I don't know if phantoms are phantoms or if they're from below the illusion. I've noticed (and sorta decided) that phantoms feel like they're on top and like they can go through things, while forms inside feel like they're trying to get out of my body.

So yeah, really frustrating because idk how it works, smh smh.

But, hm. Wonder how it happened...? How am I here? Where down the line did it happen, was it a freak accident? Was I turned, or perhaps replaced or even fused? I don't think it's relevant, but it makes me curious.

Sometimes it's hard to believe I'm physically nonhuman due to being unable to see it and my strong attachment to science, but it's just...true. I know it to be, it makes me so upset I can't see it how other's can so that way I can believe in it just as strongly, so I can find a way to prove it. But I am trapped in this form...and everything looks almost identical to a human due to the nature of my polymorphness, which is to create a perfect 1:1 imitation.

I know I don't have a true form, but I know I have a favorite form that I always am in, which is made from everything I've gone through which is my fursona. From everything I've learned and every animal I've seen, every animal I am. I used to be it in the headspace but now, much like my situation in meatspace, I am stuck in a humanoid form which is a lot more similar to my physical body.

At least in the headspace I can still morph into my other forms if I focus enough, it's hard to keep them though.

I wish it was a disguise like other physical nonhumans, but at last, I'm just humanoid -_-

I might draw how I look like soon, now that I finally accepted that what I'm seeing and feeling is 'true'. Most of what's nonhuman about me is inside, my blood, my brain, my bones feel nonhuman. I don't know how to explain it, it just doesn't feel like it's human. I just know it to not be the case.

It feels suffocating at times, I wish it more outside than it is inside.

Hm, wonder if it is a disguise, I am a polymorph after all...maybe I got stuck like this somehow. Maybe thats why my bones and body despite all looking and working like a human ones, aren't, why my blood isn't, why my brain isn't. Huh, yeah that makes sense actually.

I don't know if I wanna unstuck, I'm okay like this. Besides it could be dangerous to do so.