i just want to be called milo so bad aughhhhh
like i love my irl name, but i ALSO love milo and almost never being called it (except by some friends, who have a different nickname for me as well) means then i get sad when im only hearing my other name
and i want to be called neopronouns but i can barely remember all of them myself let alone ask anyone to use them, and i am DEFINITELY not asking anyone irl
i just want to test out the weird parts of my identity, i want to mess around with chaotic outfits, i want to wear crop tops and try makeup, i want to be more comfortable with maybe being a shapeshifter kin so im not constantly doubting myself when i have long periods of being just human, and i want to use multiple names and multiple pronouns and have it all contradict what people think of when they see me
but i dont because im too tired to spend the 20 minutes it would take at minimum to put on a complicated outfit, and i cant wear a crop top outside, and makeup costs money, and some of the fem clothes i want would make me look sexualized or wouldnt look appropriate on my body, and wearing animal ears outside isnt a good idea and i dont think my family is ready for xenogenders or otherkins-heck my dad cant handle polyamory, to the point that my mom told me to not get into a polycule any time soon (unprompted btw, no idea why she said this randomly) and its a miracle my parents understand therians. And im too scared to ask my parents to use he/him sometimes and milo, so they/she only and my irl name only it is forever idk.
Im too tired to ask, i barely have the time to figure out my identity because its not as important to me as other stuff. But even the stuff i DO have figured out like pronouns and gender and names, i dont know how to communicate
bi, they/she, still uses legal name, sometimes friends use he/him and milo but we dont seem to notice other than ‘oh are you still using milo’, seem to be about what my family can handle because its still like…normal? Or palatable. And im sure they’d accept most things with explanation, even xenos and neos, but they’ve not really had to try at anything yet, or at least for a while. When i first started to use milo, i asked them to use it more often. They never did. And im dealing with too much other stuff to try a second time, im lazy and i dont want to do any work, living and trying to do more than 2 tasks per day is tiring enough
Anyways i wanna be called milo, and i am by a lot of people, am just getting worn out from not being called it by family, which is my own fault but also i am not fixing it
milo is just such a great name and i feel awesome when im called it, the same way i probably would feel if my irl name was my chosen name. I just like both, like im bisexual how do they expect me to make any decisions the heck
