omg i loveeee that idea like a very stoic vampire and schrodinger whos just well schrodinger

litterally that picture.

tw : mention of blood, inproper use of german words and accent, german petnames, and just Schrodinger flirting with you and getting his skull crushed (NOT KINKY.) . tried to make this gender neutral !

Working for the Millennium was hard. With the constant pressure to be the better, greater and more powerful organization — with the goal to mass produce vampires to fight in the war, one could say that despite all this, the living conditions weren't the best.

People screaming day and night through the experiments to turn them into vampires, everyone ignored it. You too, even though you went through this as well. It was just a regular occurence now. Something that you've learned to accept. Once the Millennium got you, you can never go back to what you were before.

Even now as you were tasked to put away some gears, screams could be heard through the whole base, making your head hurt.

" Oy fräulein ! " a childish voice yelled out, accompanied by quiet but audible footsteps got closer until Officer Warrant Schrodinger came into view. He grinned, his fangs peeking through his thin lips " Fancy seeing you here ! What are you doing ? "

" Putting some gear away. Why are you here ? Aren't you supposed to deliver a message to Hellsing ?" You asked, shooting him a confused glare with your red eyes, picking up another box of ammo and placing it on a shelf. The minute you blinked, Schrodinger stood right next to you , peeking at your face.

" I'm guessing you ditched it ..." You said unimpressed, he giggled and patted your shoulder to which you quickly brushed his hand away much to his dismay.

" Ack ! You know me too much ! I just couldn't stand being away from you ... " He mused, shifting on his feet, pretending to be flustered by your presence like a blushing school boy. You stared - really did. From his twitching cat ears, his messy light dirty blond almost greenish hair, his purples eyes gleaming with mischief to that fake pout.

"... Did you seriously ditch it to see me ?" You asked deadpanned to which he just blew a kiss mockingly before bursting out laughing. Schrodinger was an ... interesting character in your book. You don't recall how or even when, but it seems like one day he just appeared in your life and never left it.

" You should see your face , Schatz ! You look hilarious ! ", You rolled your eyes, pushing him away by his forehead - a small blush on your pale cheeks. Gosh, he could be such a jerk sometimes. He quickly recovered from the push and smirked as he saw the faint but nonticeable blush on your cheeks " Flustered ? Aw, how cute ~"

" Keep talking and I'll drop the next box on your head." " You wouldn't da— " He started smugly before you dropped the heavy box of ammo on his head and crushed his skull on the hard metal floor. As you should. Stupid german catboy.

IKRR OMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS MADE MY DAY 🥹🥹🥹 i loooove him so much despite his ... questionable actions lets say and ughhhh, the only fics i found of him were like 2 OF THEM. on ao3 there was a few but i quickly finished them all OR WORSE they'd use the tag Schrodinger BUT BRO NEVER MADE AN APPEARANCE IN THE FIC. cryinggggg bcs of that SADLY i'd have to rely on cai bots (ik its not good but that was my ONLY material). I'm so happy that i had enough confidence to write for him and bring the small amount of fans he had, happiness <33

maybe dating hcs, both sfw and nsfw

bae.... I GOTCHUUUUUUU, i tried to make this as gender neutral as possible so everyone feels included !

SFW

Believe it or not i think if he'd ever love someone it'd be hard because he's a little shit and also once he's inlove, he'd be borderline obsessed with them

I think he'd kinda be a yandere ? but like the sadistic type and also the kind that likes to get on your nerves just to see how you'll react, making mocking comments, downright degrading you sometimes just for fun

PET HIM. but only when he wants to. That's the rule. you can't do it unless he allows you to or he'll huff and puff mockingly about being treated like a housepet and then go on a rant about how you don't love him blah blah blah.. just yapping your ear off to annoy you.

He'd loooove cuddling. Cats love warmth so best believe in winter, he's always in your bed. Doesn't matter if he's the big spoon or little spoon (though I think he'd prefer being little) he just wants to bask in your warmth and smell as he 'sleeps'

Also ! be prepared to have your thighs kneaded when he can. For the 'ass, tits or thighs' debate, I genuinely think he'd be an everything kinda guy. I won't explain why but if you get it, you get it.

I feel like he'd be a picky eater on purpose. Once again, just to be a little shit.

He's not the best at comfort but for example, if you were feeling unwell like sick or on periods if biologically must endure that pain, then he'd do his best to cheer you up. Teleporting away and then suddenly appearing with tons of snacks, medecine, heating pads and dvd's of terrible german movies with no subtitles. He'll yap through the whole film anyway so who cares.

He'd love to give kisses ! He wants to embarrass you till your face turns red. Even if it means peeking down your shirt, lifting your skirt (if you wear one) discreetly or just trying to LOUDLY guess which pair of underwear you're wearing

NSFW

Okay.. I feel like he'd have a huge oral fixation, as i've said before. So he's definetly a munch. Doesn't matter if you have a dick or a clit, boy WILL eat that thing and sometimes even nibble on it, spit on it as well

I feel like he'd love degrading you and humiliating you. There's just something about the situation that arouses him

by the way, just because he's a short catboy doesn't mean he's a bottom. At best, he's a switch. Though he definetly whimpers and curses in german when he's close to cumming

BREEDING KINK. I keep replaying the scene where he says to Seras that they'd have beautiful kids. Whether it was to embarrass her, joke around or if he meant it, I CANT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD >.< so yes.. he'd never wear a condom either because he's a jerk and would just keep creampieing u until you break with the additional hopes that you'd get pregnant even if it would be biologically impossible.

Bite marks, hickeys, scratch marks.. you're not leaving the bedroom without at least a mark that Schrodinger was around. He bites super hard too I think, just so he knows that you'll struggle hiding the mark the next day..

Praise him ? pretty please ?

I dont remember the name but, if he REALLY must cum elsewhere than inside you, then he'd love to cum on your tummy or chest, his tail wagging happily at the sight.

If you have breasts bro ur not escaping the lactation kink. He'd squeeze and suck on your breasts so hard until they become sore and a little red

YAYYY HOPE U LIKED IT 🥺🥺🥺 i love writing for him its so fun.

MORE SCHRODINGER HEADCANONS BECAUSE HE NEEDS MORE LOVE ! ! !

tw nsfw, fem reader, biting, oral (fem receiving)

he'd DEFINITELY have a biting kink. like he'd nuzzle ur neck smelling your perfume and just ACK bite your neck. When you scold him for biting you he just smirks and licks up the spot like an apology.

Speaking about tongue - ORAL FIXATION i feel like his tongue would be a little rugged / rough and that it would feel devilishly good against your folds. specifically when he has fun flicking your clit with the tip of his tongue.

tw ! fem reader, scent kink n gross behavior

i love Schrodinger guys

Due to Schrodinger being y'know kind of a cat in a way, I'm thinking about his senses being heightened compared to the normal human. He can smell blood (something he's DEFINITELY used to and doesn't even notice at time), can smell your perfume miles away and also can smell different changes in your hormones like when you're ovulating ngh

SPEAKING OF SCENT KINK since he's a nasty natzi guy, he'd definetly sniff your clothes when he misses you. Teleporting in your room and oops, there goes your dirty panties inside his uniform pockets. Bonus point if they have lace. I feel like he'd like lace.

ok thats all byeeeeeee