#instagram rant

OH YES I DO twas a rant of mine

Heya folks! It’s your new page mascot, Springin’ Chip, with a page update and this adorable pic of me growling at the camera.

I seem to have a natural penchant for making disturbing and unnatural faces for the camera, so we’re just going to roll with it for this post until the magic runs out! If you wanna know how things are going for me, eh, y’know, I’m fine I suppose. I’m sniffin’ lots of ass n’ crotch these days! I’m also trying to grab food off the kitchen table and counter if I can reach it (I have VERY long legs and I’m a food-aggressive A-hole), and I’m putting every possible thing that’s on the ground directly into my mouth! Being a puppy is awesome, it’s almost like you don’t have to be responsible for anything and everyone just cleans all your messes for you! Carpe diem, folks!

Firstly, thanks for all the likes and reposts out there, this page is officially full steam ahead! It’s beyond full steam ahead; it’s a rusty freight train operated by a perma-drunken operator at breakneck speeds over a shallow ravine!!! One of our paintings (that we thought was a real piece of shit) ended up getting nearly 500 hits within a few weeks! And just a few little house cleaning items; the next few weeks will be SPACE ART WEEK 24’ on this page, meaning everything we post will be space-themed. We do it every year on this blog, sometimes twice a year, and we mostly use it to bridge periods of slow art generation. We’ve got new art coming in about three weeks, for now enjoy the space art gifs and cosmic images.

***** And now for the primary page update: I wanted to draw your attention to the fact that th3-0bjectivist is on Deviant Art now. Earlier this year, we shut down our art store on Poshmark (it was simply not a great place to sell art, good overall site for more practical sales though). We also shut down our gallery page on Instagram. So, if you’re looking for a place to view a full gallery of, AND perhaps purchase th3-0bjectivist’s original art, please check out our Deviant Art page. If you would consider a purchase that would certainly be appreciated, money is TIGHT for us these days, my friends! For a pissed-off but comprehensive rant of Instagram from me, please click just below. *****

I suppose you guys want my review of Instagram in proper English now, then? Y’know, folks…. I busted my dog-ass to learn English for my contributions to this blog. The LEAST you could do for me is go out and learn just a little bit of canine for my sake. But, okay humans, without further ado, here’s the expletive-laden top five reasons th3-0bjectivist left Instagram in GLORIOUS ENGLISH!

1- Instagrams’ UI/UX eats ass with bare hands. I’m a dog, folks. I like ass. I like ass A LOT. You know what I DON’T like!? Having my nose forcibly buried deep inside IG’s plastic, ugly, squarish, basic-bitch design sphincter. I mean, seriously, who came up with this design ethos!? Josef Mengele? Text that you have to squint to see!??? The fact that I have to click on things several times because your wonky-ass click-targets are so small you gotta break out a lens magnifier to see where the hell they begin and end!?? Reminders to follow blogs that you purposefully unfollowed months ago?? Fuck that noise! This isn’t a website, merely looking at Instagram is torture under Geneva statutes and I would seriously advise anyone out there reading this to avoid IG’s horrendous site design at ALL FUCKING COSTS! You’d think over time Instagram would get better at this shit! Nope!! Same bullshit on Instagram, somehow gets WORSE every year. EAT ME, IG!!!

2- Instagram is simply NOT a friendly place for artists anymore. Never really was! Looking to promote your art on our platform!? Too bad, bitch! Sit your ass down and watch the SHITTIEST of shitty videos that our algorithm prioritizes over promoting an actual resurgence of grass-roots American culture because we are desperately trying to keep up with TikTok. Great initiative, IG! Hey next year, why don’t you try to bring EVEN MORE shitty videos of white pre-teen girls trying to dance in sync with Lady Gaga classics! WOOF! WOOF with a burning, acidic bark you clueless dipshits!

3- There is no sense of community on Instagram. We sign on to Deviant Art, for the first full day we are inundated with messages from absolutely everyone that notices we’re new… and they welcome us to the community. We sign on to IG, everyone ignores our profile in unison. Why? Because community is NOT prioritized on Instagram, the INDIVIDUAL is. This is the primary reason why it’s so common to see selfies on IG that depict a veritable slideshow of a ‘perfect life’. We know the whole ‘perfect life’ shtick is an act, folks. Again, I’m a spaniel dog, and even I can recognize you shouldn’t be smiling that much in all your pics… that’s not natural! But then again, if it weren’t for the ’perfect life’ selfie and couples shot, why would Instagram even fucking exist in the first place? Am I right folks!?

4- Too many scammers on Instagram. It’s amazing how, every time we post a painting to IG, we get a message from another motherfucker who wants to purchase our art NFT! WOW! What a deal! So, let me get this straight… I sell my digital art to you at NO COST for our work, and I get… nothing in return! Fuckin’ nothing. No money. No digital rights. No citation for intellectual property. No respect. No nothing. Hey NFT scammers!! Here’s the deal from here on out. You want our art NFT!? We want 10,000 dollars, per piece, up front. We’ll give you our Zelle account, send us 10,000 dollars, up front. No more bullshit. Send us money, send us money now. You want the intellectual property to own!? We’ll trade it for cold, hard, dirty, fatass dollar bills!!! You pay, we provide. You could just buy the physical canvas art and do whatever you want with it afterward! We’ll ship the damn thing to you for a pittance. JUST GIVE US THE LITTLE BIT OF MONEY WE’RE ASKING FOR YOU PEDANTIC, CLUELESS, INTERNET NFT SCAMMER-BITCH!!!

5- Instagram is a property of Meta. Failbook sucks. Instafail sucks. Even Zuckerberg doesn’t have faith in his own properties, to the point where he has cashed out to the tune of hundreds of millions and is actively seeking to hide away, underground, once the economic shit hits the fan in the United States. What a stand-up guy! All of you who are on Facebook and Instagram might want to start jumping ship while it’s still first-and-fashionable to do so.

As bad as Tumblr can be sometimes, at least there’s a community here. At least we have something of a megaphone here. And yes, we have our beloved pornbots, but the artistic community here still has standards, which is why we push for tasteful nudes over full on penetration. Check out th3-0's page on Deviant Art and enjoy SPACE ART WEEK 24' folks!

I was on a hiatus and coming back to posting art on social media is a bit sad. Looking for new and unknown artists on Instagram was always a nice way to connect to people, but lately with all the changes you simply can't. I hope more people coming over to tumblr and actually see the creations of people they're following.

I planned to take "professional" pictures of my latest canvas later this day. Here's the unprofessional one 😂