#instagram dms

secret_v (9:30am): good morning angel! I overslept majorly but it is completely worth it ☺️

secret_v (9:31am): I loved talking to you last night, and truthfully I don't want to stop talking to you

secret_v (10:03am): is it weird that even while I'm with my roommates I'm thinking about you? 💕

secret_v (10:44am): are you still asleep?

secret_v (11:20am): I don't want to come off as a creepy or anything... but I really hope you feel the same way I do... I just want to keep talking to you...

You feel your cheeks heat up as you read through the messages. You can’t believe how sweet and charming this boy is. You honestly feel bad now for oversleeping since he woke up so early and instantly wanted to talk to you. You have to commend him for waking up so early after falling asleep so late, though.

this_is_me (11:58am): Morning V! Sorry I overslept too 🤪🥱

this_is_me (11:58am): I don't know how you can wake up SO early, especially after falling asleep so late...

You thought it would take him a while to message you back, especially since it took you almost an hour to message him back, but his reply was instant.

secret_v (11:58am): lol I have to for my job... was doing something today that for some reason requires me to wake up REALLY early 🥱

this_is_me (11:58am): oh God I would hate that!

this_is_me (11:58am): luckily I don't have work until 4 today

secret_v (11:59am): the dog cafe right? I would LOVE that job!!! Working with pups all day sounds like a dream 😍

Truthfully, it weirdly always has been your dream. Your family never had the money to send you off to college, so you weren't able to become a veterinarian like you truly wanted. But luckily, you live in a beautiful country that has animal cafes all over.

You told V about your job last night after he ignored the question you asked about what he does for a living. Well, he didn't entirely ignore it. V said he works in the entertainment industry with his six roommates but left it at that. You didn’t want to pry, so you allowed him to change the conversation, at the time. 

this_is_me (11:59am): I love it there! I'm one of the few that work in the cafe that knows English so they give me the best shifts

secret_v (11:59am): you know English????

secret_v (11:59am): why did that just make you 10X hotter? 😍🤤

secret_v (12:00pm): sorry... that was weird... I'll go die in a hole now... 😶

You both blushed and laughed hysterically at his last three texts. You indeed knew English, and it was actually your first language. But you never thought it was considered hot, though. Truthfully, you only really used English when either a tourist was talking to you in the cafe. Not even your parents spoke in English on purpose anymore, only in Korean unless they were mad at you.

this_is_me (12:01pm): DONT DIE!!!!! who else am I going to stay up until three in the morning talking to then? 🥺

secret_v (12:01pm): lol yeah... I'm sorry about that btw

secret_v (12:01pm): I didn't even realize it was three am until I saw the sun 😬

this_is_me (12:02pm): lol me either tbh

this_is_me (12:02pm): and don’t worry about it. Truthfully I think it was completely worth being tired today 🙊

You see V start typing, then stop, then start typing again. It ended up taking him five minutes to message you everything he wanted to say. Still, when he finally sent it, your eyes went wide with how big his paragraph was.

secret_v (12:07pm): honestly, Y/n, I love talking to you. You don't understand how hard it is for a person like me to do something like this. I can't even tell you the last time I talked to a girl in this way. Probably in high school before my life turned upside down in a fantastic way because of my career. I know it's weird that I have to keep a lot of my life a secret, even what I do for a living and my real name, but one day I will tell you everything, and you'll understand. I just hope you won't want to stop messaging me before I get the chance... if you're okay with that?

You realize what V's saying. There's a lot of his life he can't tell you right now, but he wishes he could. He wishes he could have a noraml life and just be able to open up to you completely, but he can't.

You can relate to this because, in a way, your ex made you feel like you'll never be able to have this. To have a person to talk to and want to see where it goes, again. To have someone, you have to learn how to trust, instead of only surrounding yourself with people you already know you can trust.

As much as you want to learn everything about this mystery V, you'll respect his boundaries. You're okay with waiting for him to trust you and waiting for the day that he's able to open up to you about everything.

It's like you have the same social problem, but for different reasons. Like you both just want to feel like yourselves, completely and openly, with one person, and you both want each other to be that person. You want to build a friendship with each other and feel that love you've been deprived of for so long.

That's why you message him back, without hesitation...

this_is_me (12:08pm): I'll gladly be your penpal V

this_is_me (12:08pm): 110% fuck yeah!

-

~~ One Month Later ~~

-

You wake up how you always do this past month with a DM from V that always seemed to make you smile and blush like crazy.

secret_v (9:01am): Goodmorning beautiful! 💕

You bite your lip and stare at the DM for a couple extra seconds. You've been talking to him for a month now, and you can't seem to get him out of your head.

Your stomach goes in knots every time you get a message from him. V is not exactly the type of person that texts you all day since he admitted to having a busy schedule. Still, he always messages you when he can and sends you good morning and good night messages, at least.

Most days, you'll talk about everything under the sun! Even though you still haven't gotten his name or even a picture of what he looks like, the messages are enough to make you let your guard down and want to talk to him.

this_is_me (9:30am): good morning V 🙊 Did you sleep well?

After you send him a message on Instagram, you know it's probably going to take him a while to text back since you woke up later than him and open the group chat with your friends. The second you open it, you can't stop laughing at the messages from last night.

Mara ㋛ (11:11pm): IT'S 11:11 BITCHES! I wish to get a man to me fuck into next week 😫🍆👅

Ky ☀︎︎ (11:12pm): Mara oh my fucking… go to bed!

Mara ㋛ (11:12pm): you know you love me 😘

To most, it may seem like Ky and Mara hate each other. That how they make fun of each other, and how their total opposites, would make them not like each other, but they were friends long before you joined them.

You only met them when you moved to Korea when you were 11 years old. Along with your parents and tutor, they helped you learn the language and helped you fit in.

It may seem like what Mara and Ky say to each other is harsh, but if someone else were to say the same mean things to the other… good luck not getting beaten into a pulp.

After you've read the messages from last night and laughed until your stomach hurt, you text them all a good morning text. 

You (9:35am): Goodmorning my beautiful besties 😊❤️

Mara ㋛ (9:35am): ohhhh someone's in a good mood this morning

Mara ㋛ (9:35am): did a Mr. handsome, sweet-talking, one look and your panties will drop, V text you this morning? 🧐😂👅

Ky ☀︎︎ (9:36am): it's too early for this 😴

Mara ㋛ (9:36am): shhh let Y/n speak! I want to like vi-curiously through her 😫

Ky ☀︎︎ (9:37am): Mara I literally have a boyfriend what do you mean lmaooo

Mara ㋛ (9:37am) yeah but you guys have been dating for YEARS now! The honeymoon stage is always the best when people are in a relationship 🥺❤️

You roll your eyes at Mara's last text. You wouldn't exactly say you and V are in the "honeymoon stage." You've only been talking a month, and you both haven't labeled what you are to each other yet. On top of the fact that you've never met, don't know V's real name, and don't know what he looks like!

You (9:38am): yes he did dm me, and no we're not dating Mara! were just friends

Mara ㋛ (9:38am): details details lol

Ky ☀︎︎ (9:40am): OMG GUYS! Did you listen to the new BTS album??!! 😻

Mara ㋛ (9:40am) YESSS! Map of Soul 7 is sooooooo good 😫😍

You giggle at your friend's texts. They're obsessed with the K-pop group BTS. You've heard of a few songs but aren't a part of "ARMY" as they like to say they are. You haven't seen a music video or even know what the "snacks," as Mara would explain them, look like.

Even though they live in the next city over, and even after every album releases, you don't look them up. Trends just isn't your thing. Yeah, you've seen the build boards, have a few songs in your playlist, and have seen magazine covers of them, but don't look long enough to conjure them up to memory.

And it’s not like you hate music, or their music either, it’s just never been your thing to get obsessed with a band. 

When you were about to text in the group chat again, to tease your friends on how obsessed they are with BTS, you get a notification from Instagram.

*message from secret_v*

You smile at the notification and immediately open it up. But, your smile falls when you see what the message says.

secret_v (9:41am): I slept good angel… but sadly I have some bad news 

this_is_me (9:41am): oh God I'm scared… are you okay? 🥺

secret_v (9:41am): I’m fine

secrets_v (9:42am): actually I'm not good at all. I'm really fucking pissed. I can't have this Instagram anymore because someone figured out I made it so I won't be able to message you on here anymore

You read his message a couple times and feel your chest tighten. You're not sure if it is from anger, sadness, or both. As much as you respect his boundaries, you don't understand why it's such a big deal for his identity to be a secret, to the point he can’t have an Instagram. 

this_is_me (9:43am): No V! I love talking to you too and I feel like we just started to get to know each other 

secret_v (9:43am): I know it’s fucking ridiculous! But that's just how the company works

You back up from your phone and stare at one word…. Company.

He's never told you why he can't tell you certain things about himself. You never wanted to be pushy, but he probably revealed something about himself that he didn't mean to. But that little bit of information - that reveals a lot - just makes you more confused.

What company doesn't allow their employers to have personal social media? What company doesn't allow their employers to date or even make friends on social media? It just doesn't make sense to you, and it's honestly starting to annoy you how much you really don't know.

this_is_me (9:45am): company? What company?

secret_v (9:45am): FUCKKK I didn't mean to say that

secret_v (9:45am): just forget about it Y/n. I'm sorry. I really wish there was something I could do, but we can't talk on here anymore.

That's when you realize… he said you can't talk on here. Meaning Instagram. He didn't say anything about phone numbers.

this_is_me (9:45am): WAIT WAIT ✋✋

this_is_me (9:45am): what if you give me your phone number?????

this_is_me (9:45am): do they care about who's phone numbers you have?

You watch V go from typing, to not typing, to typing again. You wait patiently on your Instagram DMs to wait for his text. You feel your eyes become dry because you haven't blinked in a couple seconds. You, too entranced with the screen, waiting for him to message you back.

secret_v (9:50am): Idk

Idk? I don't know? I DON'T KNOW?!

You want to throw your phone because you are so frustrated. Maybe this guy has been playing with your emotions the entire time. Maybe all his sweet words and promises were just that, words. Like you mean absolutely nothing to him. Like this past month, texting every day, and hoping for there to come a day where you to meet, was something to just pass the time.

You get it if someone has trust issues, and for awhile that’s why you thought V wasn’t telling you certain things, but now you know the truth. And it pisses you off. 

You hate yourself for the next thing you say. If it were any other circumstance, you probably wouldn't have said what you said. You wouldn't have blindly sent, basically, a stranger the following few words.

this_is_me (9:46am): IDK? You know what, you make the decision. This "company" or what the fuck ever does not control your life. If this past month was really for nothing, or if you actually want to talk to me, then text me because now that I know the truth idk what you want from me anymore (888)888-8888

The second you pressed send on that message, you instantly regretted it. Not so much the words, but definitely the numbers at the end.

Your phone number…

You log out of Instagram and throw your phone across the bed. Watching the cellular device slide on your comforter and eventually fall on the floor. Your ears begins to ring, and you feel like you can't breathe.

You just sent your phone number to someone you don't know. You've never done that before. Even when guys would flirt and ask for your number, no matter how cute they were, you didn't give them it. To scared from all the horror stories about people tracking phone numbers and kidnapping those you trusted a stranger enough to give it to them.

You wrap your blanket around you like it will protect you from your own stupid actions. But even as you shake in fear, you also can't believe how angry you were at V saying he can't talk to you anymore.

You were the person to suggest texting instead of DM-ing, but that fact doesn't stop your heart from racing. What did you expect, though? Him to send you his number first, and that will make it all okay?

You press your fingers to the side of your forehead, rubbing circles, hoping it will relieve whatever tension is there.

The rest of the day, you stayed logged off of Instagram. You only looked at your phone when Mara or Ky texted you.

Every time your phone went off, you thought it would be V finally putting the phone number you gave him to some use. But unfortunately, it was not him, and it made your stomach go in knots for the simple fact he didn't do just that. Text you. He just had your phone number for no reason.

Mara was the one to text you in a private text, outside of the group chat you guys made several years ago.

Mara ㋛ (6:45pm): Any news on V?

You (6:45pm): noPe 😔

Mara ㋛ (6:45pm): THAT'S IT!

Mara ㋛ (6:45pm): I'm coming over

You (6:45pm): wait what ✋

You (6:55pm): you don't need to do that! I promise I'm okay

You (6:57pm): you don't need to come over

You (7:00pm): MARA??????

But you know whatever you say won't change Mara's mind. Twenty minutes later, you hear a knock at the door.

You sigh to yourself when you realize it was pretty useless to repeatedly try and text her. You walk to the front door of your home and open the door to see Mara leaning against the door opening.

"Sup, baby girl."

Mara walks inside and doesn't even wait for you to invite her in. She takes her shoes off, and places her bright green purse on the kitchen table, then sits down on the couch you were just sitting on. She pats the cushion next to her, asking you silently to come to sit down.

You sigh once, then close the front door. You walk over to Mara and sit next to her. When you look over at her, she’s already staring at you intensely. Waiting for you to spill your guts and tell her all about the thought’s swirling in your mind right now. 

Her dark brown eyes, surrounded by blue and black eyeshadow, that match her bright blue fake hair in a bun on top of her head, are filled with intelligence because instead of asking you what's wrong, she already knows why you're being so gloomy today.

"Soooo he can't message you anymore. Stop worrying about it, girlfriend. It's just one guy. There will be another."

"But what if he's-"

Mara put up her hand to stop you from explaining what else was bothering you. After you calmed your racing heart from earlier, you texted in the group chat about being scared you just gave your number to your future murder.

"We both know that's not what's truly bothering you. Yes, V could be a mass murder that whats to kidnap you and make you his sex slave… but come on now, Y/n. You've been talking to him for what - a month now, and I could see it all over your face that you're sad about the simple fact that you can't talk to him anymore."

You don't say anything back because Mara already knows she's right. Yes, the prospect of giving your number to a stranger is what bothered you initially. But now that your anxiety has calmed down, your heart is aching.

Mara nods her head in understanding and looks down at the phone in your hand.

"Have you checked to see if he messaged you?"

"No… I'm too scared to look."

Mara puckers her lips and squints at you. She glances at your phone again with mischief in her eyes. Without warning, she snatches your phone and runs to your bathroom with it. You jump up from the couch and run after her, but Mara did track in high school, so there was no way you could catch her in time.

The bathroom door slammed shut, and your body hit against it. It budged for a second, but while you were catching your balance, Mara shut it again and locked it.

"Mara! This isn't funny! Give me back my phone!"

Mara doesn’t budge though, just like the door. You huff in defeat, and instead of trying to break down the door, press your ear against the door to try and hear what she’s doing.

“Your password is still cuddle-puddle? Real creative, Y/n.”

You roll your eyes, but don't say anything to her insult against the password you created for Instagram years ago when you first made the account. You hear her manicured fingers type on your phone. After a moment, the bathroom becomes silent. Nothing but Mara’s breathing can be heard. 

You're anxiety from there being no sound starts to eat at you. Even though it was hard for you to open the app before, you also want to know what V said to your message about the phone number. 

“W-what did he say?”

Another moment of silence, then Mara opens the door. You back up to let her step into the hallway with you. Her face is blank, but you see slight confusion in her eyes. 

“Well... what did V say?” 

You were staring to get antsy. It's not like you to feel inpatient, but Mara wasn't giving you any hints of what was on your phone or what he said.

“He didn’t say anything-” Your face fell. “He just read it then, um...”

Mara scratches the back of her head, nervously. You step closer to her, not to intimidate her, but show that you want her to just be straight with you and tell you what it is making her so nervous.

“Okay, I’m just going to say it. V deleted the account.”

Your eyes go wide, and you're lips part. 

-