#insecrurities

Sometimes I feel like a piece of cloth. Just brown flannel, and everybody else has beautiful patterns and colours. Who chooses the brown flannel when you can get something so much more exquisite?

Other times I am the one with the colours and patterns and everyone else is brown. My jewels push through the flannel and make me unique. But time is fleeting and the jewels are saving themselves for a day where they can shine through.

But you. Especially you. You are always beautiful. You always have colours that ricochet in all directions, blinding people. Blinding me. Always me.

Another cloth is yours. A beautiful one, that shines and sparkles in ways I cannot do. It is a complicated relationship that I do not understand. I care, but I care more for you.

All I do is hope that one day you notice my jewels and make me yours.

Why can’t I be happy with what I see? 

It’s staring in the mirror right back at me.

Some days I think I don’t look so bad,

And then I force a smile but my eyes are sad.

Why can’t I be happy with what I’ve got?

When someone tells me that I look hot.

With my chocolate eyes and my tanned skin,

Plus you know they say beauty shines from within.

But instead I wish I had blonde hair,

Or perhaps be a redhead, petite and fair,

With a larger bust and a smaller bum,

With slender thighs and a flatter tum.

And I know that I should just disagree,

But my mind is crippled with anxiety.

Because I didn’t quite have what they required,

Now I’m left thinking I’m not desired.

So now I smile, act cool and aim to please,

Do whatever it takes so that no one else leaves.

But when I’m under all this pressure,

How am I supposed to feel any pleasure?

Why can’t I be happy with who I am?

I don’t know how much more I can stand.

Society tells me to love myself,

And then tells me to look like someone else.

But I hope one day I’ll feel much better,

Have my confidence shine right to the last letter.

And to my insecurities I will wave farewell,