Recovery Update:
The staff TOOK AWAY my stuffed animal bunny!!!!! You aren’t supposed to have them really but a nice staff member gave me mine and I was supposed to keep it in my room but have been hiding it under the bench. I’m REALLY attached to it. It makes me feel safe from the Trauma just like my ED did and know that I’m not self harming or binging and purging and don’t have my Bunny I’m not safe AT ALL. Like wtf. I just wanna leave and sign a 72 but I can’t because then PHP won’t take me. So I either stay here for around 3 more weeks (that’s about how long it’ll take me to gain the weight) or just leave and pray I can recover on my own through AA meeting’s. I highly doubt I’ll be able to do that but I’m still so so tempted. I wanna selfharm soooo fucking badly omGGGG. But I can’t can’t can’t give up after 7 months. I wanna punch the wall or scream or cry or just fucking do something that will hurt myself but make it look by accident or just workout all night or idk idk idk I just hate everything and wanna run away from myself.
