lads LIs: if you were their video game character 🎮
xavier
forgets to teleport you out of a monster camp before he logs out. next time he logs back in, he dies
has really good rng luck. has top tier gear without even trying
is really good actually and no one knows how. he can do it all: one shot a boss, 0 cycle a mob, finish domains in 10 seconds—you name it
his characters aren’t even maxed out
people beg him to co-op
he happily agrees except sometimes his group starts a game and his character just completely freezes on the screen (he has fallen asleep)
zayne
flinches when you get hit. apologizes, either verbally or mentally, each time
vows to protect you the first time you die in-game
chronic overhealerÂ
has a shielder and healer on his team in boss fights. just in case.Â
his damage suffers as a result. he either wins with seconds to spare or has to do multiple attempts
he’s actually underestimating his skills. if he weren’t so cautious trying to keep you safe, he’d clear all content with ease
does not care too much for outfits or skins—no, his weakness is animals. has to own any cute pet or animal companion the game offers. is not above the occasional credit card swipeÂ
sylus
whales on you
he gets you and your weapon maxed out. keeps pulling for you even after that to show off
has millions of the rarest currency in the game that nobody else ever has because of this
obliterates everything because he’s spent so much money. never losesÂ
half of the game’s community has him blocked because they’re tired of seeing him win
keeps posting his highlight reels anyway
if there’s a housing feature, you have a mansion
he’s actually really invested in the game’s lore and likes to experience the story you
rafayel
whales on your outfits/skins
doesn’t care too much about damage, fights based on aesthetics. what weapon looks best on you, what team members look best with you, etc. yes his main team is 4 single-target dpses
only really tries when you have a new upgrade coming out and he has to speedrun all the content he hasn’t cleared
sometimes logs on just to teleport you to pretty locations and take in-game pictures
uses the pictures he takes as references for paintings
defends your design with his life. doesn’t care how detailed the newest character is, they have nothing on you. you hear him? nothing.Â
always logs out near the water and greets you there each day
caleb
self-destructive play style
torn between his love for you and his thrill-seeking natureÂ
will forego a healer or shielder if it gives him an edge in combat
you’re on 1 hp more times than he can count. he makes it up to you by farming endlessly for the best gear
you are the only character he has everything maxed out for. everybody else has a mid build
addicted to seeing the damage numbers pop up and doing all the little gear calculations and comparisons (“ohoho, if i use this instead, i’ll get a two percent damage boost”)
yes it’s that serious.Â
valko
oh my god you’re so beautiful and your attack style is so amazi— squirrel
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hardworking at their own expense. both take on too much responsibility & are reluctant to accept help
a product of being so responsible: they’re both great cooks!
apples
stubborn to a fault. so used to relying only on themselves, they do only what they think is best in every situation. fix the problem first, apologize later
both have grandmas (varying stages of life)
due to a combination of their inhuman strength and heroic good deeds, they’re basically microcelebrities
would make so much sense for caleb to have a working dog like applejack does. he has to share the burden with someoneÂ
sylus as rainbow dash
daredevils by nature
masters of snarky, sarcastic wit
act like they're too cool for stuff, then happily engage in it anyway
both have lofty ambitions & do whatever it takes to meet their goals, even if it means putting their bodies on the line
can sometimes tease too much and make others upset. guilt eats them alive afterwards
can be awkward or naive in delicate social situations due to inexperience
confident on the outside, vulnerable on the inside. neither pays their own feelings the attention they deserve
sylus would totally have a pet turtle
xavier as fluttershyÂ
soft-spoken, but stern when necessary. when they’re mad, duck
under tense circumstances, might momentarily morph into an all-powerful being
they get discounted for their quiet, unassuming exteriors, but are both admirable leaders underneath
both nature and animal lovers. disney princess levels of random animal encounters, and they tuck their plants in every night before bed
both always get roped into helping people with their problems (too polite to say no)
jeremiah is angel bunny
valko as pinkie pie
sweet tooth, frequently to the point of sickness
incredibly friendly and caring. often try to make others comfortable at the expense of their own dignity
can get very anxious and a little unhinged if they feel like someone they love is mad at them/has replaced them
so down to earth, people almost forget how intelligent and perceptive they are—until they call someone’s bluff right to their face with a smile
their actions raise eyebrows sometimes. what are they doing, why are they doing it. but that’s just the way they are! eccentricities and all
while i personally do not believe this is the case, i believe that valko is someone who believes that he could have a pet alligator and everything would be fine
rafayel as rarity
creatives with supreme attention to detail
extremely passionate about their crafts
misunderstood to be haughty or pompous; in truth, they care more than anyoneÂ
doctorates in theatrics, sharp tongues for days
never afraid to stand up for what they think is right. more than willing to make a scene—especially if it means protecting their loved onesÂ
their studios are their sacred spaces. do not disrupt the peace Â
i know rarity has a cat. pretend it’s a fish
zayne as twilight sparkle
well-read with a thirst for knowledgeÂ
both sacrifice their health for their obligations (despite people urging them otherwise)
every day is a lesson and chance to improve themselvesÂ
both longtime loners who, at first, think they’re better off that way. they don’t realize the value of friends until they have them
hold themselves to impossibly high standards! could always benefit from a break
stuck in an rv: lads LIs when they’re trapped on a hot summer day
scenario: mc sends the boys on a group trip as a team-building exercise. intending to enjoy a fun day at the beach, they become trapped in an rv during a heatwave with only half a bottle of water between them. lord of the flies ensues.Â
*in this universe, they do not have evol because that would make escape extremely easy.
**inspired by the victorious episode!
it's valko's rv in the first place—he uses it to take the kids in his pack on camping trips, teaching them to thrive in the wild. usually, he keeps a healthy supply of rations, but the pups completely raided him last time and he forgot to restock. all he has is a half-full (half-empty, sylus argues) bottle of water in the cup holder. when he realizes they’re stuck, he tries to use his spare metalwork tools lying around to cut or break through the walls; he maybe even howls a few times to try to get bystanders’ attention.Â
when neither strategy works, he’s not shy about stripping down to his underwear—“it’s hot in here, man” (caleb has never seen boxers with a built-in tail window before)
it’s scorching inside, and rafayel is crashing quick. the longer he sits there baking in the heat, the more he starts to look kind of like spongebob and patrick when they were all dried up on that table. his intermittent sips of water bring him back to lucidity, enough for him to offer solutions, but only momentarily. in between, he’s absolutely delirious from dehydration and, thus, out of commission.Â
he wills his fish brethren to come and rescue him but they cannot walk.
sylus, with his greedy self, hogs the water bottle and drinks more than his share. he’s used to people being mad at him, so he doesn’t react much to everyone’s outrage. valko, however, is the only one agitated to the point of altercation; he nearly starts a fistfight over their limited resources, and it’s the most entertained sylus has been all day.
when the water runs out, he sprawls out in the corner and tsks. “well, i guess we’ll just have to eat him for sustenance, then,” he says, except he doesn’t specify which “him” he’s referring to. everyone backs away from him and keeps an eye on him at all times.
he secretly has an extra bottle of water in his bag the whole time. when questioned on why he never said anything, he answers, “you never asked.”Â
zayne is the only thing holding the group together. ever the mediator, he selflessly demands that rafayel get the largest share of water since, biologically, he needs it the most. because he tends to run cold, he alternates placing his palms on valko’s forehead since his hair/fur is so thick and insulating. sometimes when he shifts positions, it feels like he's petting him, and valko’s wolf ears pop up. they both ignore it. sylus stares amusedly from the corner.Â
when sylus and valko are at each other’s throats, zayne bravely puts himself between them, with a loopy rafayel chanting lemurian mantras to himself in the background. caleb just stares in disappointment.
in the chaos, caleb is dead set on finding a solution. he fiddles with the door and windows trying to finesse his way out, and he refuses his ration of water, to his own detriment. rafayel is grateful for the extra share, but sylus thinks he’s dumb—altruism doesn’t ensure survival.
since they have no cell service, he tries to fiddle with the rv’s radio to make contact—anything he can think of, really. when that doesn’t work, he tries to preserve his energy. it’s an endless war at this point; he has no idea how long he’ll be stuck in here.Â
eventually, after redoubling his efforts and tinkering endlessly with the door, he finally manages to work it open and set everyone free
xavier was supposed to join the others in the rv, but he slept in and they left without him. instead, he took the bus to the beach and got there an hour later. through the window, the others spot him walking around in confusion and bang on the glass to get his attention; they yell for him to find help, and he accepts the mission. three minutes later, he gets roped into handing out recruitment flyers for a youth volleyball team.Â
once they’re free, the others track him down. he’s licking a blue ice cream cone, surrounded by squealing, sandy children. “oh,” he says. “i’m glad you guys didn’t need my help.”
their first venture into the ocean that afternoon is the five of them chasing him into the water.
mc, having been lounging on a beach chair for hours watching this all unfold from afar (totally would've intervened had the circumstances become dire), supposes this does count as a team-building exercise at the end of the day—operation “hang xavier from his ankles” is a go.