
#dc#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#dick grayson#dc fanart#dc universe#tim drake#batfam#batfamily


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*skipping stones across an artificial lake the Eridians made Grace*
Grace: This is nice.
Rocky, who does not understand this Earth activity: Take that you fucking lake.
Tim, talking to a new super: Yeah a lot of stuff happens to people in my family when theyre 17
Tim: When my dad was 17 he ran off to train with assassins
Tim: When my older brother was 17 he became a crime lord
Tim: When I was 17 I briefly led an assassin cult
Tim: And then there’s my little brother, I’ve always kinda considered him the black sheep of the family
New super, bracing themselves: oh god
Tim, hissing: When he was 17 he went to med school
this probably happened on their second day there or something

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Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?
Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.
Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.
Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.
Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.
Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.
Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.
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Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?
Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.