#incorrect tma

Now, shall we turn the page and try again?

Gerry: *holding soy sauce over Elias’s drink*

Michael Shelley: No! *pushes Geeey’s hand away*

Og! Elias: I was planning to drink it, might have been interesting.

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Mrs. Blackwood: No, no you can never get a tattoo, it’s trashy and improper!

Martin: SHUT UP, IM GONNA GET TWO ASSES TATTOOED ON MY ASS!

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Tim: Have you filled out the Google form I sent to Com-Com?

Jon: huh?

Tim: It’s called untitled forglomp. It’s very important.

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Michale Salesa: I went to Quebec to pick up some swords- I slept in a bathtub one night.

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Simon: Eugh, that’s giving me vertigo.

Michael C.: Wait what do you mean, you- WAIT?! ARE YOU SCARED OF HEIGHTS? THAT IS SOOO FUNNY, YOU’RE A VA- HAHHAHAHAHAHAAA

Simon: Wait- what? You have to be afraid of your-

Mike: YEAH, I DON’T LOVE STORMS BUT YOU DONT WANNA GO?? ON THE ROOF???

Simon: ILL GO ON THE ROOF AND BE UNHAPPY ABOUT IT!

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Elias: You clearly don’t have the brain capacity to sing the abcs backwards.

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Jared: I’m taking steroids as well, you know.

Mag 90 statement giver: Actually?

Jared: No.

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Oliver: Someone’s gonna die today.

Jon: Really?

Oliver: Yep. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, someone died.

Jon: How did you know that?

Oliver: …Are you fucking stupid?

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Michael Distortion: I’M FRACTALIZING!

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Mary, explaining the catalogue to Gertrude: You need to desecrate a corpse.

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Helen Distortion: AUGH! It smells like three cans of Bounce-That-Ass in here!

Melanie: If someone told me I smelled like three cans of Bounce-That-Ass I don’t think I’d be able to sleep at night.

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*Holding hands in a circle in a pool*

Gerry: We should get more people!

Martin: I don’t wanna hold hands with those people.

Michael (distortion): But we’re making a cult!

Gerry: No, we’re just trying to see how many people we can get!

Jon: We’re making a conglomerate.

Michael: A kilometer?

Martin: No- do you know what a kilometer is? I feel like you probably should.

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Michael (distortion): What if I licked your hand right now?

Michael C.: Please don’t :(

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Martin: I look like a homeless sea captain.

Peter Lukas: HAHAHA- that’s a good thing.

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Melanie: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen on the job?

Basira: I had to tackle a naked guy once, that was a weird day.

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And bonus malevolent because I don’t know where else to put this.

Arthur: Is it possible to smoke horizontally? Because the right side of my body is very high right now.

Elias: Oh, I almost forgot to tell you all! You’ll be getting the formal invitations soon, my husband and I are throwing an anniversary party and it’s just put me in the best mood!

Martin: Oh, that’s so sweet! What anniversary number is this?

Elias: First. We’ll be signing the divorce papers at the party.

Archive staff: …

Sasha: Oh? You’re really gonna spring divorce papers on him at an anniversary party?

Tim: The amount of grief the man must have cost you to get that as a punishment…

Elias: Oh, no, we agreed on signing them at the party. It’s why we never spend much on the weddings, since the divorce parties and lawyers end up taking such a big cut. Anyways, the information is all in the invites, I hope you all can come! *leaves*

Jon: …did he just imply this has happened before? Multiple times before?

Martin: Yeah. Must be some guy if he keeps going back to him.

Tim: I’m jealous. Sasha, marry me so we can have divorce parties.

Jon: I know who you are.

Martin: That’s my lap