#incorrect hashimada

| “Hashi 橋” (with this Kanji) means bridge

Madara: I swear, people on Reddit are idiots

Obito: Since when do you read reddit?

Nagato: I showed them the other day.. anyways, what did you find this time?

Madara: So it is the same guy who keeps appearing on my feed, @Bridgeofsorrow23. Total crazy. He is always whining about how his life turned out so bad, how he was set for a good start, but how he messed up everything beyond repair. I truly don’t get it, why he cries on the internet, instead of just trying to solve it or something . . .

Obito: Uh-hm. So, what’s the tea?

Madara: In this post, he is giving details about how he lost his first and only love interest, how he realized his feelings way too late and stuff.

Madara: He literally claims he loved this person since early childhood but he didn’t know back then what love means, and then he was afraid to confess even for himself. And he realised when it was too late, when he hurt the other person and he betrayed them, and now he is constantly drowning in guilt and cannot be sober for a second because he then always just thinks about how he messed up.

Obito: He is.. ehm, clearly full of regret ..

Madara: He literally writes that “he always goes back to the river in his dreams, where he cherished his sweetest memories with his loved one. Only to wake up, and find out he is now alone and all the warmth and color from his world is gone forever, drowning in that very river”

Crazy guy..

Obito: That’s deep..

Madara: Anyways, good talking to you, see you

**

Obito, to Nagato: So you showed him a “random” Reddit page, huh?

Nagato: I don’t know what do you imply

Obito: Don’t you think this story is a bit familiar? Also, the username. Bridge, like Hashi, and 23 like damn Hashirama’s birthday, really?

Nagato, smiling guilty: diabolical, right?

Obito, sighing: you are such a devil, aren’t you, fam? Wait till Madara figures out, you are so dead.

***

* at the same night, under that post *

New comment from *leaf* : sometimes, you don’t need to confess. It’s clear. It’s the little things, the looks, the words, the actions.

Sometimes, the other knows without a word.

I like those plots where HashiMada is living with genin Sasuke so he would not be alone after the massacre

Also poor little thing, has to endure their constant arguing and/or courting

Sasuke: *accidentaly cuts himself while cooking*

Hashirama, worried: Sasuke, show me, I will heal you immediately

Madara: You weren’t in a hurry after I was cut last time!

Hashirama: When and where and why were you cut, Mada?

Madara: Valley of End, my heart, by your killing blow.

.

.

.

Sasuke: So what was that again about not holding grudges and quick forgiving?

Madara: Sasuke, there is a small difference. Naruto just ate you food. This bastard lover of mine killed me. I am about to mock him with that for the rest of our lives

Hashirama: And I accept that. Also, you “died” huh?

Canonical HashiMada convo

If placing this on a timeline, kinda around the 4th war, Madara still an Otsutsuki. AU.

Madara: Originally, I wanted to leave the tailed beast be. Live their own lives, chillin, not interacting with humans.

Hashirama: Yeah, sure.. you are just missing a Nine-tailed sized point there.

Madara: Yeah. Kurama is a different story. But he still had his freedom and stuff. And then • someone • came up with the great idea to collect them all, which would not be a problem, having the tailed beasts somewhere in the Fire Country, but no!

Hashirama: I wanted equality, that’s all.

Madara: Naturally. But instead of having them for us, you just gave up on Konoha’s upper hand by giving them away, one tailed beast for each bigger hidden village. And from your oh so desired peace and friendship with the villages, it just caused greed and war. More presumably, three.

Hashirama: I just really love how you blame me for things that happened after my ‘death’

Madara: It doesn’t matter you were alive or not at the moment, you fucked up, not to mention the whole jinchuuriki thing! You fucking took away the freedom of the tailed beasts!

Hashirama:.. so that justifies your fourth Shinobi war, I see.

Madara: That wasn’t my intention.. anymore. After I came back to life, just wanted my ~other halves~ being with me again.

Hashirama: your what?

Madara: Tailed beasts are pure chakra. More presumably, the Otsutsuki kind, as for them being born from the Chakra fruit which is.. you know. Me being an ‘Otsutsuki’ now, having the same chakra as the Sage had and the beasts have.. I kinda feel them and stuff. So you know.. them being locked in a human and suffering, I felt that as well.

Hashirama: Wow, never thought about this - anyhow, what now?

Madara: I have more than enough of this world, so I guess I move a planet, with all of the tailed beasts, and live a peaceful life without humans.

Hashirama: .. Sure, you are an Otsutsuki god now. Well, good luck and stuff, I -

Madara: Yup.

Hashirama: What?

Madara: You can come. Didn’t you want to ask that?

Hashirama: Ehm.. well.. yeah,

Madara: I know. Let’s just go and leave all this behind for a while.

Hashirama: Happy ending?

My little AU when Madara actually founded the Akatsuki himself and cca lives with them

Kakuzu being in a ‘job interview’ for the Akatsuki, not knowing about who the real leader is

Pein: So, about your other achievements, maybe?

Kakuzu: So once I fought The Hashirama Senju

Pein: Oh really, and how was it?

Kakuzu: well.. it was when he fought The Madara Uchiha, and I crossed his way not too long after he killed him. It was a hard one for me, I barely made out alive yet I guess it’s understandable, he is the God of Shinobi after all.

Pein: So basically.. he was worn out from a fight which probably lasted for multiple weeks, where he had to use all his powers fully and constantly to survive, than his heart and soul shattered into pieces because he killed his lover and still he won?

Hidan: putting into this way, it doesn’t sound exclusive. Not even a bit.

Deidara: Sure, yet try to fight against that Senju yourself. Besides the boss no one can.

Kisame: Speaking of who. I’m not sure this new recruit is a great choice. Even tho he didn’t succeed, he still tried to kill the Senju.

Kakuzu, thinking: What was this last sentence of Pein about again?

Madara, out from nowhere: Someone is here who tried to kill Hashirama?

Pein: a new volunteer. I can get rid of him if you feel bad about it..

Madara: No way. He got som courage. I want him in.

Kakuzu, to Pein: Is this.. The Madara Uchiha?

Pein: Yes. Basically, I’m your direct boss n he is the final boss.

Kakuzu: Didn’t he.. die?

Madara: Not really. I just wanted Hashirama to feel like shit.

Sweet lil lovers

Hashirama: Are you all right? You are kinda gloomy today even for an Uchiha..

Sasuke: Very funny.. I’m fine, it’s just that I had a fight with Naruto today and he .. Anyways, when you guys fought, did Madara ever admit if you were.. better than him?

Madara: Of course not. It never happened and even if it would be the case, which is surreal, I’d never admit it.

Hashirama: There was one case tho he did.

Sasuke: Really?

Madara: We don’t talk about that.

Hashirama: He swallowed his pride and told his father that I am stronger than him, so they would retreat and not pull up a fight with me and my father. However I am certain if we would fight right there, they would win, as for my dear just awakened his sharingan. So he kinda just saved my life.

Madara: Why can’t you just forget about it?

Sasuke: I think it’s actually real sweet. Thanks for sharing.

.

Sasuke, on the next day, to Naruto: I was thinking a lot about our last fight, and I had to admit you got better. But still I am the better one and I always will be.

Naruto: Oh sure, someone is full of themselves again

Sasuke: But if your life is in danger than I would admit that you are the better without a second thought right there.

Naruto: I am not sure I am following.

Kakashi: Have to say, Naruto, me neither.

HashiMada and Sasuke AU, not so long after moving together

Sasuke: Don’t misunderstand me, I am very thankful, yet still wondering how could you renovate the whole compound, buy tons of new weapons, necessities and clothes for all of us, and those hella expensive liquors you drink every day.

Sasuke: You were ‘dead’ for a while, and you did not expose yourselves, so I am wondering, where did all those money come from?

Hashirama: Wow, you are kinda quick observer! To answer your question tho, it’s Madara’s money.

Madara: It’s from the Akatsuki’s assets.

Sasuke: Huh?

Madara: Don’t judge me. I was young and heartbroken.

Hashirama: Yeah, that’s definitely a valid reason to establish an international ninja terrorist organization.

As if they met and became friends, n Madara loves his village (at the moment)

Kakashi: So, what do we do if we spot some foreign shinobi doing something suspicious in our village?

Sakura, volunteering: We should observe what are they doing, and if it’s something dangerous we should try to stop them!

Sasuke: No, we should just kill them.

Kakashi: Mind some explanation, Sasuke kun?

Sasuke: Well naturally we have to get rid of every possible treat to the village.

Naruto: But what if they are actually innocent?

Sasuke: Call it collateral damage. Stupid senju spawn.

**

A really weird yet cute AU here

Fugaku: Uhm.. so Sasuke, you gonna graduate from the Academy today huh?

Sasuke: Hn.

Fugaku: I guess I should go with you then..

Sasuke: You do you, I don’t care.

Fugaku: Excuse me?

Sasuke: You don’t care about me. You are always like.. Itachi this , Itachi that.. I honestly don’t need you babbling how much better he did in Academy than I, so.. I’d pass, but thanks for trying.

Fugaku: That’s not true! Of course I am proud of Itachi but it doesn’t mean I have no interest in you, it’s just your brother is older and really talented but you have the potential and..

Sasuke: Cut the crap, you are annoying. I really don’t care anymore. I’m fine, my ghost Uchiha friend is supportive towards me, so I don’t need you to pretend.

Fugaku: I’m not pretending.. what ghost Uchiha friend you are talking about?

Sasuke: Uhm, he is great. But he doesn’t like you, well because I talked shit about you quite a lot. He suggested I should kill you if I’m full of your shit, just like he did kill his dad when he was young and his dad opposed his relationship with his lover from an enemy clan..

Fugaku: What the..

Sasuke: Also he has Mangekyou Sharingan and Rinnegan and controls the Kyuubi and is the fourth Mizukage and is a founder of an international ninja terrorist group. So much better role model for me than you could have ever been. Anyways, I’m out, he promised me to accompany me today.