Mabel: “Grunkle Stan, you would be a great YouTuber.”
Stan: “Why? Is it because of my looks?”
Mabel: “No- well, maybe. But mainly because you don’t care about haters.”
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Mabel: “Grunkle Stan, you would be a great YouTuber.”
Stan: “Why? Is it because of my looks?”
Mabel: “No- well, maybe. But mainly because you don’t care about haters.”

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Mabel: “What do you call a person with poor hearing?”
Dipper: “What?”
Mabel: “I SAID, WHAT DO YOU CALL A PERSON WITH POOR HEARING?”
Dipper: “I need advice.”
Mabel, eating cookie dough for breakfast: “You’ve come to the right person.”
Wendy: “Someone told me once that shooting stars are really just angels throwing away their cigarettes before God could catch them smoking.”
Stan: “Someone get me a young child, I have wisdom to pass down.”
Mabel: “Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!”
Stan: “What if I suddenly decided I’m vegan?”
Mabel: “Wakey wakey, vegetables and sadness!”

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Stan: “The eagles won last night.”
Wendy: “Oh, did you watch the game last night?”
Stan, covered in blood and scratches: “What game?”
Robbie: “I love this picture of all of us. We were so happy.”
Nate: “Where’s Dr. Funtimes?”
Robbie: “He wasn’t one of us yet. That’s why we were so happy.”
Dipper: “What if mayonnaise came in cans?”
Wendy: “That would suck because you can’t microwave metal.”
Robbie: “Good morning to everyone except these two.”