Michael: did you like my gift, my dear?
Mallory: what am I supposed to do with ten skinned raccoons on my doorstep?
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Michael: did you like my gift, my dear?
Mallory: what am I supposed to do with ten skinned raccoons on my doorstep?

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Michael: Who do you hate?
Gallant: My nana...
Michael: She makes you so mad, doesn't she?
Gallant: God yes...
Michael: DON'T YOU JUST WANNA GO APE SHIT?!
Gallant: STOP READING MY MIND!!!
The Coven As Things My Family Has Said | Part 4
—————
Madison: She ain’t dead?
Queenie: Girl... She standing right in front of you
Madison: She look dead
Queenie: We know! But she standing right in front of you!
Fiona: Shut the fuck up, both of you
—————
Coco: So your girlfriend just gets to stay as long as she wants while mine’s not even invited to dinner?
Cordelia: There’s a bit of a difference when YOUR girlfriend hit your brother with a car!
—————
Zoe: You don’t have to cry about it
Mallory: I know I don’t but I’m going to!
—————
Mallory: She bought a fake purse...
Queenie: But she’s fucking a lawyer?!
Mallory: That’s what mom said!
—————
Madison: No one knew I was drunk
Cordelia: You were crying about how good of a mom I was, EVERYONE knew you were drunk
—————
Cordelia: I have more animals in this house than children
Mallory: Please refrain from calling your grandchildren animals, it hurts their feelings
—————
Coco: You’re banned from my home
Fiona: You do not pay bills
Coco: No, but the person that does said you’re banned from my home
—————
Zoe: Thanks for being so pretty
Madison: Well what else would I be?
Misty: Definitely not tolerable
—————
Coco: Come down stairs #NOW
Mallory: Why??
Queenie: They found out about Zoe’s thing, big talk happening rn
Coco: CLEAR THE COUCH
—————
Cordelia: I do try my hardest
Mallory: Yeah, it wasn’t your fault, we’re a handful
Cordelia: I wouldn’t label a group of people who start fires for fun a handful but whatever floats your fucking boat
—————
Zoe: That shirt is so cute
Madison: Yeah, I knew you would say that! Thanks!
Coco: You would look great in it
Zoe: Yeah, I guess so
Zoe: Oh my fucking God that’s my shirt
—————
Misty: Groupchat will be disabled until y’all learn to act!!!
Madison: You send one foot photo and bitches lose their mind
Coco: Preach!
—————
Madison: I owe you nothing! This is all your fault!
Mallory: You owe me THERAPY!
—————
Coco: I got in a wreck
Misty: The fuck that got to do with me? Call your mother
Cordelia: It’s hot as hell out here. How do you survive?
Misty: Swamp mud.
Cordelia: Okay, but how does it work?
Misty: It’s Louisiana dirt rich in nutrients, Delia. Obviously it just works.
Cordelia: I get it, Misty. But how does it solve every damn problem?
Misty: ...
Misty: It doesn’t. I just like getting dirty.
Misty: Don’t tell Kyle.
"I have only had 2 thoughts my entire life: 1.) Murder and 2.) My wife's a bitch and I love her so much." - James Patrick March, probably

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Michael Langdon As Gina Linetti Quotes (Part 1)
+BONUS
Cordelia: I am not having sex with Misty!
Zoe: No one is judging you. It's understandable. Misty is strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well-muscled.
Cordelia: I am not having sex with Misty! But I'm starting to think you might be.
Cordelia: Um, I asked for an orange.
Misty: You didn't say porkroast?
Cordelia: no...
Misty:
Misty: Who was I talking to?