#inaguaration

When Donald Trump takes the oath of office on Friday January 20th he will take on full responsibly for our country’s well-being. Despite anyone’s political beliefs, there’s something undeniable about The Office of the President of the United States…it comes with a moment many fantasize. A moment every leader of our country earns with his ascension to the top position in our Government. The moment occurs shortly after his grand speech, when he’s ushered into a quiet back room in the White House by a super secret government official who’s sole duty is to inform the newly-christened President of the greatest secrets in American History.  I’m going to make the assumption that the occasion would take place in an ornate library where it has for generations. A grand space showcasing stained glass windows rising to the ceiling and endless rows of our collected knowledge through Americas comparably short existence thus far. But thats just me.

Like most Presidents I expect him to salivate over the Big 3: The Kennedy Assassination, Bigfoot, and of course Aliens. He’s going to know the Truth of it all. So when the government  man in the dark suit and ever darker sunglasses opens the manilla folder (again assuming) that says ALIENS ARE REAL how long can he keep it to himself? I wouldn’t expect very long.

In fact, we will probably be informed of our shared existence in this universe with other intelligent life with a 5am tweet written in all caps "Former administration covered up alien life. Sad. We're going to build a ceiling and the aliens will pay for it!”

Despite 44 other great men who once held the role and kept their traps shut, Trump will be like the kid that learns the truth about Santa way too young and uses it like truth bomb ready willing and able shatter the reality of any of the ignorant peers that upset him. Hell, even an offhand joke by a Senator on The Daily Show would be enough for Trump to introduce us to our cosmic neighbors despite the sociological, theological, and (again assuming) scatalogical implications it might cause the human race.  

I guess it doesn’t really matter. We were bound to find out we weren’t along in the universe. Though I always hoped the big reveal would involve Neil Degrasse Tyson, The Pope, and the cast of The Muppets -  a more delicate revelation.

It’s kind of perfect really. He’s the ultimate showman. So when their ship land on D.C’s Mall and the tall grey humanoids emerge from the mist and say “take us to your leader” what better representative to Earth than what every radio, tv, and movie broadcast we’re been shooting into space since the 50’s has said:  “Humans crazy, reckless, and often paranoid, don’t mess with us! We also like putting lesser primates in people clothes.”

Hillary Rodham Clinton