#impulsive spending

I hadn't spent a lot yet but it was escalating in frequency and amount I was writing off "not a lot"

And I have had serious issues with reckless and impulsive spending before. It's a serious issue with me. I cannot be trusted with money because I will spend it because buying things feels good in the moment

When I noticed I was slipping into old habits I deleted the banking app from my phone and decided that I need to check with my husband before each purchase again, no matter how small, because that's the level of oversight I need.

And at first I was beating myself up about this but I messaged a friend and she was like "you are being WAY to hard on yourself" and I really thought about it and realised she was right

Yes it's not good to fall into impulsive spending but I was treating it like I was 21 again and spending money I literally didn't have in the bank to get a piercing on a whim

That's not what happened

What happened was I noticed I was slipping into old habits. I identified how to prevent it from getting worse and implemented the fixes and boundaries that I needed. And I did it before it was an actual problem for us.

That's not a failure that's a win. That's something to take pride in.

Right- so, this still falls under the real-life pics category, but it also relates to my otherkin stuff. As a result, I'll crosspost it on both accounts by starting here and then expanding on the symbolic significance on my Otherkin / mental health blog, @astertimberwolf . I'll post a few extra pics of the "human life" box (the one with the Celtic knot) and its contents here, since some items are RWBY and Whiterose themed.

Background: I got them for myself a little over a week ago, from a local market in Scotland.

The whole thing went down as follows...

Useless-Lesbian-Weiss (ULW for short): "Wow, these boxes are so pretty, but I don't have money / can't afford them... Dang it."

Friend: "I can get you one if you want, but only one."

ULW: "Are you sure? You don't have to."

Friend: "It's okay. What are friends for? :)"

ULW: "Uhhhh" *internally panicking because she likes multiple of them and can't decide*

Friend: "...The wolf one then?"

ULW: *spots the rose themed one* "Oh my God, I want that one too. Why am I like this- how much is that one?"

Seller / Artist: "£10, while the big ones are £20."

ULW: *panics more because she knows it's a bargain compared to Swiss prices for hand-made merch* "OKAY, HOLD ON, THERE IS AN ATM OVER THERE!!!"

Friend: *laughs* "What are you doing? Didn't you say that you didn't have any money-"

ULW: *already darted towards the ATM, pushed in the card, punched in the PIN and withdrew £50. Rushes back to the seller with x5 £10 bills, whipped out in a fan formation, handing them over aggressively to the seller* "HERE. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!"

Seller: "Uhhh..."

Friend: "..."

... And that's how I ended up with all 4 of them. :D

notice which websites and stores make you buy things and spend too much money. and stop going there. don't open that online store. just do not. block it from your browser if necessary, there's probably plugins for that.

don't go into the irl store, or limit visits to a few times a year, and make a budget. eg. "i can spend €50 in darkstore today" because i actually have the €50, and if i don't, i better don't go at all. yes your friends who want to go with you might be annoyed or disappointed, but if they really are your friends, they'll understand that poverty is no joke and neither is impulsive spending. you can hang out in the park or at your home instead it's gonna be okay.

notice things that make you want to seek out those stores. for me it was the rush of buying new things to cope with feelings of loss of control over my life ("retail therapy"). find better coping methods. i find that badly playing a song i like on the guitar and singing along, or making a drawing or collage about my feelings or about something else is a great way to cope with difficult emotions, and there are other good skills as well like talking to a friend, taking a walk, cutting or dying my own hair, exercise such as hitting a punching bag, doing as many pushups as you can, running as fast as you can; watching a comfort show or playing a comfort game, taking personality tests online, and there are many other options because not everything works for everyone nor for every situation: dbt skills pdf

--

did a quick assessment of my impulsive spending habits and lo!

i have certain websites that i mostly buy stuff from. i blocked those websites from my phone. (i can still reach them from my desktop computer but i don't really use often so that's one thing)

i removed my paypal account so i won't be able just impulse-buy stuff online without a Major Hassle

i canceled my subscription from audible because i don't really need a new audiobook every month

i've already been ordering my groceries online for a couple of years. a month's basic food ingredients and other daily stuff come to my door every four weeks. this saves trips to the store and lowers the risk of hungry-shopping there

--