#improvementnfpadvice

I am an INFP and I suck at school, granted, I go to a pretty difficult school, but I have a lot of trouble motivating myself to get shit done and so my grades are terrible. I have been diagnosed with ADD and depression and have been on medication since I was a freshman and I don’t understand how it’s so hard for me because I am a fairly smart person. This is something I am beginning to figure out. But I just can’t get my grades to reflect what I am capable of. It’s embarrassing really.

Concentration has little to do with intelligence if you really think about it.

My niece is also an INFP and she has trouble staying focused on just about anything! The typical school setting is so routine and systematic that it doesn’t jell well with most INFPs. I hated going to school and often ignored teachers during class because I could easily learn 90% of what was taught through a book. INFPs tend to be really good with abstract thoughts. 

So we really don’t need teachers holding our hands through things. 

What exactly are you struggling with?

Tests?

We are great procrastinators. We can be very worrisome people and psych ourselves out on tests. We can also be indecisive so multiple choice questions may often be are enemies! Mix that with ADD and your score may not reflect your knowledge at all!

Essays?

We enjoy being in our own little world. If while writing, there are distractions, especially involving other people, we may never feel in the zone enough to write anything of value. With your ADD it may be a little different, but distractors can really distract someone whose strength is abstract thought! We can be interrupted mid-epiphany and may never get back to it. We are also quite critical of ourselves and re-write over and over or, perhaps like you (if this is an area that you struggle with), we procrastinate out of fear to  not do something perfectly. Writing a paper in one night can certainly hurt a grade!

Day to day homework?

Maybe, as an INFP, it is hard for you to see value in the day to day work. Or perhaps the work you are supposed to do does not fit with your learning style. Busy work that helps me memorize used to drive me nuts and papers that didn’t seem to help us learn all that much (like book reports on specific books) really frustrated me.

Also, I have tutored some people with ADD and they can be helped so much by anyone who has enough patience to make them feel good about learning, as a lot of times people with ADD are quite frustrated that they aren’t learning fast enough. The more teachers you have that don’t understand how you learn the worse they tend to feel. Eventually they are more happy with not trying at all! 

Breakdown of some additional points:

Why you shouldn’t feel bad about not doing better:

“I go to a pretty difficult school”

Increased anxiety, stress, and decreased relaxation time due to additional work. And this is just for an average Joe/Jane. With ADD and depression it just multiplies these things!

“I have been diagnosed with ADD and depression and have been on medication since I was a freshman" 

Oh how I wish mental health could be a legit reason to take a break from school. When first diagnosed with things like that, it’d be great to have a break to re-introduce your life to yourself, but the darn real world won’t have it! I hope you have good relationships with your family, as they were pretty decent to me in high school. Each year I missed enough school that my parents got letters about my absence and were threatened with kicking me out. LOL. I needed “mental health days”, as my mum said.

"I am a fairly smart person. This is something I am beginning to figure out.”

This tells me you are somewhat overcritical of yourself if you are just figuring that out. Try and be kinder to yourself fellow INFP. :-)

What you can do to do better:

“trouble motivating myself to get shit done and so my grades are terrible”

You might really benefit from a tutor of some kind. If only a friend and even just temporarily. They can help you see how capable you are of motivating yourself, as they will only encourage you and restrict your t.v/internet usage. If not that, try and study/do homework in 20 or 30 minute increments and have a five minute break each time. Then switch subjects. INFP’s hate routine. Mix it up by switching courses. When I had AP classes this was my preferred method!

“But I just can’t get my grades to reflect what I am capable of. It’s embarrassing really.”

Try REALLY HARD to just not give a f*ckkkkk! BUT, do every assignment. Every. Single. One. It doesn’t have to be perfect or even meet all the requirements. Just turn something in. By not caring at a “perfectionistic level” I’ve got straight A’s for my last two years in college. School is a balancing act and realize that grades are only worth so much. What you actually learn is far more important to your own way of valuing life. 

LASTLY, INFP traits are quite in-line with the ADD symptoms:

ADD Misdiagnosis Risk

It has been suggested that INFPs are at risk for being misdiagnosed with ADD (non-hyperactive version) in school due to their natural tendencies, i.e. “dreaminess,” the preoccupation with their rich inner world; the fact that they are Perceivers and therefore not particularly organized or punctual; and the fact that they are Intuitives and not interested in what they see as the “minor” little details.  (I suspect that their high overrepresentation among the gifted population also contributes to misdiagnoses, since the too-slow pace of the class encourages boredom and escapism.)

You can read about the association between type INFP and ADD symptoms here; see also the brief case study on Sara the misdiagnosed INFP on this page

There are not a lot of sources for this advice as it seems like a more subjective question that required a more subjective answer. I apologize for extreme lateness and the disjointedness of everything that I wrote.