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Went to look through the works of a poet I follow because I felt like his work gives tragic pricefield vibes and this was literally the first video on his channel oh my Godddd anyways I sobbed imagining it as Them™
Thinking about Bay ending Max trying to hold onto Chloe and then forcing herself to let go because she'd rather not think of her at all than let her image of the person she loves most distort as time moves forward.
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You think I have a broken heart, while I'm sure I'm just a broken person;
You think I hide behind my poems, while I'm trying to convince myself that I exist;
You think I've lost myself in the maze of my memories, while I'm afraid of forgetting.
illneas - For people who are hard to love
Always loved this channel but especially this rendition of the poem that first introduced 10 year old me to Edgar Allen Poe, which led me to all sorts of morbid literature and eventually to my obsession with tragedy in theatre, which unbeknownst to me predisposed me to like the Star Wars prequels long before I ever saw them.
This is Goodbye Beautiful Human
If I was in the library of your mind for a while, I would place the smell of coffee next to the memory of you learning how to ride the bicycle. So you would remember that you have to start in order to find your balance. I would erase the feeling of sunlight on your skin. So you would experience it again for the first time. I would help you blur the mental image of your self-imposed imperfections. Because feeling beautiful is a decision. Maybe tamper with the spelling of your name. Just to mess with you. I realized that our existence can only be mirrored in the minds of others. And my favorite reflection was in yours. So I won't touch your memory of me. But I would selfishly hide a tiny piece of my laugh into your favorite song. So you would remember my stupid jokes. And maybe laugh alone like the weirdo you are. I won't read any of the things you didn't tell me about you. I promise. This is goodbye, oh beautiful human. But before I disappear from your head. Ι would immerse myself into the deepest shadows of your unconscious mind. And I would hide these lines into your nightmares. So the next time you face your demons. You might think that someone loved you.
Let's pretend we aren't afraid just alone
Let's pretend we aren't cold just untouched
Let's pretend that this isn't a delusion just a new perspective
-illneas
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An out of focus figure behind my coffee stream softly touching my childhood wounds
A half-empty bed and gentle touches on a bright glass hoping my touch could be felt through it
how was your day?
did we accidentally eat the same food?
Is your dog beside you right now?
I think I fell in love with a stranger that kind of looked like you today but something doesn't feel right
These screens may carry our whispers but they cannot feel what it means to be present and absent at the same time.
These keyboards may translate soft taps into words but they will never feel what it means to be truly untouched
Information streams may carry invisible data but they will never experience the blood in our veins that rushes to our cheeks and makes them blush.
I'm haunting the cage of my existence and you are unable to cast a shadow here
I told you "promises are pointless" but I lied
So when the soundwaves of our voices meet in the same room
When we cast a shadow under the same sun
When the word "distance" in the term "distance relationship" becomes obsolete
Turn off your phone and look me in the eyes
- illneas, How To Love On Social Media
🔰Advice For Your Twenties by illneas
You know, you are not as weird as you think Also, you are not as sophisticated
But if you can make someone happy It doesn't matter
I know the wounds don't fade as quickly as you wished but someone will love you regardless If you feel unable to open up wait till you meet that person
You will be ok
Brush your teeth every morning while you try to step on her toes
I know the bitterness still echoes and you are unable to hide it Remember that you can forgive them and still hold them accountable
Watch her breathe silently Watch her shadow touch the walls of your room
Sometimes you have to get outside of your head to leave room for healthier thoughts
It will take time to understand yourself
But If people feel loved around you then one day you will love yourself as well
Hold on to the carelessness for a little longer Let novelty linger for a while Don't let them take it away from you
Ask stupid questions Cry to cliche romantic movies Don't take yourself too seriously
Outsmart the paradox of the human condition
I wish you could see your eyes when you spoke your truth
Enjoy the time you spend alone You will be your only friend sometimes
Explore ideas and ridicule the concept of our finite existence
Pause, And listen to the sounds around you
Stay still, And observe the colors making patterns
This world has a certain rhyme beneath the chaos
This absurd little planet has room even for you
It was here before you And it will continue to orbit the sun long after you are gone
And trust me, It's beautiful
