The Pale Woman

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The Pale Woman

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Amber & the Pale Woman
fool's fate (colorized)
come to the dark side fitz. we have (looks inside your mind) your long lost heterosexuality!
6D Dungeons & Dragons Characters
Fitz = blue dragonborn ranger (breath weapon, tail, and have an animal companion?? Doesn’t care Dragonborn is mechanically the worst PHB race)
Beloved = tiefling sorcerer (draconic, blue) (hot and naturally good at everything worth being good at)
Chade = drow warlock (he wanted to surprise everyone with his character and surprised no one) (angrily makes a rogue when he causes a TPK with a poorly placed Hunger of Hadar)
Kettricken = elf cleric (someone has to keep the party alive)
Patience = gnome druid (obviously)
Lacey = dwarf fighter (“oh well I suppose I’ll play,” by far the most effective character)
Dutiful = half-elf Druid/Paladin (drawn to paladin values but also indecisive and wants to be a cat)
Nettle = gnome wizard (evocation) (she breaks free of the older sister mindset to be a chaos gremlin with carve spells)
Hap = half-elf fighter (creates boring character in attempt to be useful, but will create increasingly unhinged characters over time)
Burrich = dwarf paladin (stalwart and loyal, doesn’t understand the game. Often wanders away from the table and leave oldest son Chivalry to play for him)
Molly = halfling barbarian (relieved to have a safe place for her rage, enjoys being small and hitting hard)
Verity = Dragonborn barbarian (party notetaker. Prefers watching to playing)
Starling = tiefling bard (obviously)
Thick = halfling rogue (likes rolling a lot of dice)
Web = half-elf bard (likes talking to everyone, moves easily in both worlds)
Bee = goblin sorcerer (wild magic) (enjoys causing chaos by ‘accident,’ and claims it isn’t her fault that wild magic works like that. Wrecks havoc and calls it ‘character choice’)
Bonus villains!
Regal: noble elf warlock (how will they know I sold my soul? I’m a noble elf)
Illi: drow wizard (necromancy) (wants to have legions following her, doesn’t want to keep them alive)
Rawbread: half-orc barbarian (has lost a dozen nearly identical characters, Illi has them all in her undead army)
Dwalia: halfling cleric (‘it’s what my goddess commands, I must follow her instructions’)
Thoughts? Other characters, LST, or RWC?

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How you been tumbles?
2025 has been a nightmare for me, so why not pay a tribute to RotE's best nightmare on the (nearly) last day of December? I hope there are Illi fans out there, and if there are look no further than @alloysius-g 's art for beauty and grace and nudity. support the miserable bard here ⬇️ Buy Armadillo a Coffee
"I have long had quarters prepared for you. Guards, escort each of my guests to his proper accommodations, and see that they take full advantage of them. Rest and relax, FitzChivalry. I shall come to call upon you soon. Until then, do you have any questions for me? No? A pity. I do not often offer to answer questions, but for you, I would have. For I think that, the more you know, the more you will see how you have been deceived and misled by our darling little pretender. Take them off, but gently, gently. Harm not a hair of their heads."
At the door of her grand hall they parted us, the Fool's captors taking him in one direction and mine jostling me along in the other. "Fitz!" His sudden shout startled me and made me strain against my guards' grip. One gently twisted my arm higher behind my back. I set my heels to the ice and skidded as they dragged me relentlessly on. The Fool's shout came faint to my ears. "I knew my fate! I chose to meet it! Stay your course and do not doubt! All will be as—" His shout ended in a muffled cry, and then they staggered me around a corner and down yet another icy hall.
"Where are they taking him?" I demanded, and received another example of the Pale Woman's guard's idea of gentleness as a gauntleted fist doubled me over.
Fool's Fate, by Robin Hobb (Tawny Man Trilogy #3)