#iiphides

- The fact that some characters, hero or villain, have performed specific actions so often that when someone mentions that action, the character has to say “can you be more specific.”

- Large, boisterous, incredibly friendly Russians

- The dope slap. Just smacking someone upside the head as a way of telling someone that they were being an idiot

- When the morally ambiguous character leaves just before the final throwdown only to painfully admit that yes, they do care about their friends, then turn around and go back to help save the day

- Parents that are so obviously and healthily in love with each other that it has the high potential to embarrass their children

- When the authorities have the various members of the crew in an interrogation room and it cuts between the different interrogations to the crew either giving wildly different accounts of the same story or finishing each other’s sentences/answering each other’s questions

- When a character has every right to be frustrated at something physical and appears to be walking away calmly only to lose their cool a second later and grab a sledgehammer or smth

- Incredibly grandiose/unlikely threats. IE: “I’m going to play hopscotch in your chest cavity” or “I’m going to carve your heart out with a spoon.” Bonus points if the character that makes them follows through or makes a reference to them later on.

- Someone naming their weapon. Bonus points for naming it after a loved one or a lost love.

- The relationship between a pure force of unmitigated chaos and the one person that can (sometimes) keep them under control.

- Brick jokes. Like someone drops a line in Season 2, episode 3, only to have it referenced in Season 7, episode 9. The longer the brick is in the air, the better.

- Weaknesses that are really lame

- When a character has something that happens to them that removes all sense of a filter, and they start saying what’s *really* on their mind.

- Ambiguously worded questions. No matter how you answer, it’s going to lead to more humor.

- Communication errors for the sake of comedy, just like, in general

- Slipping innuendos into kids’ movies or shows

A worm awakes amid a bed of apples Upon an apple bin it worries what To do to while away a-wand'ring hours Awaiting wormy, well, we don't know what.

A wild wonder wakes the worm's amazement: A wider world afield its now aware Beyond the apple bin awash in twilight Enticing with allure for anywhere.

Decorating the house with evergreens is pretty far up there. I tend to like the more old-fashioned decorations - none of those blow-up lawn ornaments like America has, thanks.

Also, candles and christmas lights of all kinds. I always have candles in the windows and an advent wreath for my kitchen table, though we’ve switched a lot of those to electric as electric-candle-technology improves - for the safety of kids and dogs.

- When there’s a shapeshifter/master of disguise on the loose and a person has to convince their friends that it’s actually them by insulting someone they hate or showcasing their stupidity.

- Characters that always sound really angry, but you only know that they’re angry when they get very quiet

- Conversely, characters that always seem really restrained, but you can tell that they’re going to pop a blood vessel at any moment from all that pent-up rage

- Anachronic story order. It takes a little while to figure out, but damn if that shit doesn’t slap. 

- Short characters that can, and will, kick your ass. Especially if nobody underestimates them except the people that are meeting them for the first time.

- The narrator that shows up in the story as a minor character, especially if they’re making it seem like they’re the main character of the story.

- Happy, upbeat music during fight/violent scenes. “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen playing while people beat a zombie bartender with pool cues? Beautiful.

- On that note, soundtracks that do not match the story they’re in, at all. David Bowie’s “Golden Years” playing at a medieval ball? Hell yes. “Escape” by Rupert Holmes while someone’s drifting through space? Sign me the fuck up.

- The entire concept of someone that is not the brightest bulb in the box proposing a solution that makes all of the brainiacs in the room go “... huh. That just might work.” Keep in mind that I’m talking about adults here, not children.

- Children proposing solutions that make the adults go “... huh. That just might work” is fucking great too, though.

- Characters that get in trouble so often that authority figures have to ask “What did they do this time?!” in an outraged voice. 

- Noodle incidents. You could write an entire character where their whole background was noodle incidents and I would be simultaneously in love/furious.

- That thing where one friend is holding another back from laying into some clown until the clown insults the most mediocre thing. At that point, the person holding their friend back just lets them go because there are some sins that cannot be forgiven.

- Animation sequences where something mundane is made to look insanely badass and actiony. Looking at you, Nichijou and Shokugeki no Souma. 

- Characters that really like spicy food because it hurts. Bonus points for them being a bubbly ball of sunshine instead of an edgy bastard that eats it just so they can feel pain.

- Using superpowers/special abilities for everyday uses. Like “whoops gotta drop this package off at the post office and they close in five minutes. Good thing I have super speed!” and other household chores.

- Characters that have the strength of a wet noodle, but know how to use that noodle strength in order to tie you into knots. I include magical and super powers in this as well.

- Oh man. Here comes a greaser. A total street tough, leather jacket and all, and he’s got a knife! Nope. It’s just a comb disguised as a switchblade so he can perfectly coif his pompadour again.

- The one fuck word per PG-13 movie. Better yet, when a character from a PG/PG-13 rated series gets to be in an R-rated movie and we get to hear them cuss like sailors. (cough Charles Xavier in Logan cough)

- When the normally smart and well-spoken character sees their love interest and just turns into an inarticulate or completely speechless mess. Like damn now I know you’re thirsty.

- Characters that you would expect to be posh or “proper” getting into an all-out brawl. Congresspeople, members of Parliament, academics, scientists, you name it. Bonus points if it’s a bunch of crochety old bastards and they even talk about how one of them has a new pacemaker like that should be able to put them ahead.

Me: Vestal, sweetie, if you don't cut that out I'm going to have to throw you in a room with Sexy Lovecraft.

Rachel: How.

Me: Dave Strider drinks apple juice. You're drinking a Rose Apple Cider.

Rachel: It's a Rosé.

Me: Right. Just like how Talon is pronounced Talón. Or Calzóne. Tobleróne. Dyróne. Jebediah.